Letting my mind drift.

How much influence do I really have in effecting an event in my life, how can i make things happen the way I want them to? Is it possible for me to allow for my thoughts to manifest themselves as I look to  future? How much of my life has been of my own design, my own imagination, my own creative constructions and visions. On looking back over the years i see that much of what i have been through in my life has been somewhat premeditated, I, in some small ways have conjured for the events in my life to take their courses and today as I am writing this and being of age where they call one 'Warga Emas' or golden years of age, I am seeing how i have made a strong impact upon how my life has turned out, not that all is hunky dory or perfect but it all seems to fall into sync like jigsaw puzzle almost completed except for a few missing pieces.
This is the tapestry of my life, it is full of meaningless rags and colorful patches, it is like a landscape that is painted by an artist who is not too concern with the taste of colors or the time of day, this tapestry is a random splashes of errors and imperfect choices but when view all together it all makes one complete whole sense; it is an abstract work of art. I am not claiming of any super power or paranormal ability but simply observing that over the years I have dreamed and visualized what it would be or should be like for me and all that is a part of me and it all has more or less come to pass, some more vividly than others. It strikes me as I am writing that nothing is really impossible if one really puts one's mind to it as they say, only thing is for one to realize that it is truly happening and to do so one has to keep a close awareness of one's progress in life. This is what getting to discover who you are is all about, keeping a close tab of your journey's progression like keeping a log or a diary in the mind, or a mental diary as they call it. This is easier for those who have a good handle on how to meditate as it the act meditation one can filter and store what is most relevant about one's life and delete the rest that are just dross and non essentials thus allowing for better recollection and reflections.
Where would I be now had it not been for my ability to maintain a close watch over where i have been, what have become of me now is what i had set into motion when i was able to see the importance of taking a closer look at how my mind works and what it is capable of and how I the entity that is aware of this can help to make it work the way I want it to. It is not a matter of control or manipulation, but it is more like working with and understanding or an instrument or a tool that has it own specific functions and if and when instructed in the proper manner will accomplish beyond expectations. Give the brain cells right instructions and the mind right ideas and you will reap right results at the right time and moment. If you have learned to meditate you would have also learned to develop patience and perseverance, love and compassion and these are the ingredients of what it takes to bring about a creative and productive mind that is human in nature, a mind that will lead you into the realm of the divine in the human spirit, a real where you get to come closer to your true nature, your Unborn Buddha Nature, your Perfect Soul, your Atman.
So is there a possibility that you as a human being is truly a master of you own destiny? Your own circumstances, your own environment? Or are you merely existing like another piece of the puzzle which is yet to fit into the whole that is the sum total of who you are? Who is the one one putting all the pieces together? Who is the one holding the strings to the puppet, are you the puppet or the puppeteer? The choice is yours to make, it has always been for this is what makes you a living Buddha, a Christ or the Prophet, you are made of the same stuff, you originate from the same root and you have the  right to be who you truly are, if only you are awaken from this realm of existence that is mind created and egoic, self serving mode you call life. A life that is full of vexations and suffering, of frustrations and despair, a life that is fleeting and illusive; perhaps it is time for a change in how we look at it. It is time to unveil and discover what lies beyond, it is perhaps time to claim what is truly yours as a human being and why not?