The Ramadan is here!! Yippee-Ka- Yay!!! Yes its that time when my spiritual mind takes a warp drive into the realms of right and wrongs, of temptations and salvations or imaginary visions and virtual realities. Off course i can turn on the 'who gives a shit mode at my age, which by the way I celebrated on the twelve two days ago. I am now sweet sixteen or is it 61? Funny that i do not feel any different from the day i learned how to say,' screw you', which happened when i was alot less than sixteen years of age. The mind it seems stays almost in the same old track but only
shifting in the manner of its expression every now and then. The body offcourse is a whole different matter although it too does not really change a whole lot when in connection with the thoought processes like back aches and tiredness comes alot more often but still not any more different from the past. What really changes is the view one has of the world as a whole or life itself as a whole and how one deals with people and individuals. There is this feeling of impermanence that is becoming more and more exposed or revealed, like it pops up every so often out of the blue. And this too will pass.. kind of feeling one day while driving and looking at the just the traffic, something one sees almost every day. is this the approach toward the end? This feeling that it was all fleeting images and of no significance, followed by a melancholic kind of feeling deep within that is like saying a 
good bye to a familliar scene or face or image.
Oh well and this too hopefully will pass.. dont want to keep dwelling on something so hopelessly 'happening' such as ageing. Although it is quite interesting to be able to watch the changes over the years in one's life and one's personal psychological, spiritual and physical changes. This the essence of this blog, as much as I strive to understand who i am learning who i have become over the sixty odd years is a crucial part and process. For example, how do i really feel about my last solo exhibition now that it is over? Do i feel disappointed that it did not fetch me good sales, make alot of money from it? Do i feel like I have wasted my time trying to convince myself that i am a great artist, a cut above others or that Hey I did it! I got it together and had over two hundred foreign visitors walk into the gallery and enjoyed my works, from Spain, to Lithuania, Korea to Venezuela, they came. So, what do i feel about my show? Have i achieved my goals?My intentions? Have I fulfilled my obligations towards society being 'gifted as an artist? Questions! and Answers! But these are the grist for the mill that churns out all the
data that makes up the whole part and parcel of this one human mind (HUMIND - Scape).
Wise men said that to change the World one has to first, change. Not just change in time or gradually but change, like drop everything and anything that has to do with who you conceive yourself to be and become something else whatever that may be. Easier said than done, they also added, these wise men. Ironically the very effort you make to change involves thinking and it is thinking that is holding one to the present state of being. Thoughts, the product of time, of past present and future cannot instigate total or absolute change and for this to happen thinking has to cease. If by now you have lost me, stop reading, I am rambbling and I am drifitng into the twilight zone of my mind scape looking for what to say. If you are still with me, silly you, than ytou deserve a simple explaination of what is happening, nope its is not smoking the wacky tobackie nor sipping the Nappah Juice, it is the result of fasting! yes hunger and thirst, the inability to involve the mind in mental fornication and grandiose visions results in the mind puking out whatever it can on the subject of change. Why is it so important that we change our 'mind set' or set our minds to change? Our ideals our percetions of reality, of things we think that they should be as they are while we are not totally happy with the state of the world as a whole nor our life as it is.
Does it matter? is it a waste of time to write all these nonsense over the years and most probaly will end up being totally erased amounting to nothing? Perhaps it does not and it is an absolute waste of time and there should be a law against such wasted time, material and space. But it does matter if you want to change the state of the world! if you want life to be different from what you see it to be today or at least help to elviate the suffering around you or help to heal the broken hearts and ease the burden of the downtrodden, it matters if you care to care of what is happening with infants being dumped into garbage cans and man slaughtering his parents and siblings for no apparent reasons other than the Dog or God whispered into his cotton pickin ears to do it. It matters if you see corruption rampant from the highest to the lowest of the political heirachy and justice being manipulated so blatantly that even the kangaroos in the desert of Australia are laughing their butts off, in their court or law. It matters if you find one day that you are nothing but another victim of your own dellusions, of greed, hate and ignorance. It matters if you care about what is to become of your children and they theirs. Will they too become like you exisiting like hungry ghosts feeding off the ignorant of others and getting fat through deceit and deception with no end in sight till you find it too late, that it was all just another... brick in the wall.
So Ramadan is here and I am fasting.
Now What next?
shifting in the manner of its expression every now and then. The body offcourse is a whole different matter although it too does not really change a whole lot when in connection with the thoought processes like back aches and tiredness comes alot more often but still not any more different from the past. What really changes is the view one has of the world as a whole or life itself as a whole and how one deals with people and individuals. There is this feeling of impermanence that is becoming more and more exposed or revealed, like it pops up every so often out of the blue. And this too will pass.. kind of feeling one day while driving and looking at the just the traffic, something one sees almost every day. is this the approach toward the end? This feeling that it was all fleeting images and of no significance, followed by a melancholic kind of feeling deep within that is like saying a 
good bye to a familliar scene or face or image.Oh well and this too hopefully will pass.. dont want to keep dwelling on something so hopelessly 'happening' such as ageing. Although it is quite interesting to be able to watch the changes over the years in one's life and one's personal psychological, spiritual and physical changes. This the essence of this blog, as much as I strive to understand who i am learning who i have become over the sixty odd years is a crucial part and process. For example, how do i really feel about my last solo exhibition now that it is over? Do i feel disappointed that it did not fetch me good sales, make alot of money from it? Do i feel like I have wasted my time trying to convince myself that i am a great artist, a cut above others or that Hey I did it! I got it together and had over two hundred foreign visitors walk into the gallery and enjoyed my works, from Spain, to Lithuania, Korea to Venezuela, they came. So, what do i feel about my show? Have i achieved my goals?My intentions? Have I fulfilled my obligations towards society being 'gifted as an artist? Questions! and Answers! But these are the grist for the mill that churns out all the
data that makes up the whole part and parcel of this one human mind (HUMIND - Scape).Wise men said that to change the World one has to first, change. Not just change in time or gradually but change, like drop everything and anything that has to do with who you conceive yourself to be and become something else whatever that may be. Easier said than done, they also added, these wise men. Ironically the very effort you make to change involves thinking and it is thinking that is holding one to the present state of being. Thoughts, the product of time, of past present and future cannot instigate total or absolute change and for this to happen thinking has to cease. If by now you have lost me, stop reading, I am rambbling and I am drifitng into the twilight zone of my mind scape looking for what to say. If you are still with me, silly you, than ytou deserve a simple explaination of what is happening, nope its is not smoking the wacky tobackie nor sipping the Nappah Juice, it is the result of fasting! yes hunger and thirst, the inability to involve the mind in mental fornication and grandiose visions results in the mind puking out whatever it can on the subject of change. Why is it so important that we change our 'mind set' or set our minds to change? Our ideals our percetions of reality, of things we think that they should be as they are while we are not totally happy with the state of the world as a whole nor our life as it is.
Does it matter? is it a waste of time to write all these nonsense over the years and most probaly will end up being totally erased amounting to nothing? Perhaps it does not and it is an absolute waste of time and there should be a law against such wasted time, material and space. But it does matter if you want to change the state of the world! if you want life to be different from what you see it to be today or at least help to elviate the suffering around you or help to heal the broken hearts and ease the burden of the downtrodden, it matters if you care to care of what is happening with infants being dumped into garbage cans and man slaughtering his parents and siblings for no apparent reasons other than the Dog or God whispered into his cotton pickin ears to do it. It matters if you see corruption rampant from the highest to the lowest of the political heirachy and justice being manipulated so blatantly that even the kangaroos in the desert of Australia are laughing their butts off, in their court or law. It matters if you find one day that you are nothing but another victim of your own dellusions, of greed, hate and ignorance. It matters if you care about what is to become of your children and they theirs. Will they too become like you exisiting like hungry ghosts feeding off the ignorant of others and getting fat through deceit and deception with no end in sight till you find it too late, that it was all just another... brick in the wall.
So Ramadan is here and I am fasting.
Now What next?
No comments:
Post a Comment