I could not walk a few yards without gasping for air when I arrived at Green Gulch with Denis Kelly and I had to convince the man in charge that I need to stay at the center for obvious reasons. The practice period instructor or Shuso then was a priest by the name of Paul Discoe and he was also the carpenter so I visited him at the carpenter shop and pleaded for my life to be allowed to stay at Green Gulch. I was still suffering from what my doctor called Plurosy or shortness of breath due to fluid built up around my lungs the result of an accident I had from a Yoga exercise. I was practically in tears by the time we were through and Paul out of compassion gave his permission for me to stay and recuperate. I had nowhere to go, my health was bad, broke and in total despair, I was at ground zero, my Dharma position.
I spent the next few weeks slowly recovering and getting to know the people around me, I sat the sitting meditaiton and found it helped the most as i slowly got to know my breath and getting to know my breath was the best healing process for what was my problem. Most of those who were there doing their practice period were also pretty new to the place I found out and were very sympathetic to my plight. The older students and residents however had their reservations and some openly let it be known, this was their Zen practice and understanding those who never got over their nurosis in the first place no matter how long they were exposed to Buddhism. I had to learn to take what they threw at me while I recovered my health. It did not take long before i was totally cured and Green Gulch became my home despite all the prejudices and negative perceptions I received from the ones who felt threatened by my precence. The more recently joined students became my allies and i found comfort
in their company as i learned of who was who in the whole Green Gulch community.
When the Practice period was officially on the road it became very serious and full of energy with all the participants fully involved and committed to the practice. Pual Discoe was an excellent Zen Teacher who was there but was also most of the time invisible. Ed Brown's loose style and non-judgemental attitude kept the classes alive with open discussions about Zen Buddhism and everything else under the sun. In the fields where we worked under the tutelage of Wendy Johnson and Peter Rudnick Zen manifested physically. It was work with loving kindenss, work within as well as without, work for no other reason than the sheer joy of working alongside those whom you have come to love and respect. Strangers at one time now became members of a family and thus the meaning of a Sangha came into being.
It was the work practice that tied us together under well experienced instructors whose Zen practice was also in the making learning as they progressed as teachers. I enjoyed the talks I had with Blanch Hartman who was at a lost in trying to deal with my idiosyncrasies and my nurosis and my anger at life, she was the mother I never had and hope never have to after. One of the instructins she pointed out to me about my sitting was how I would hold a fist laid on top of my palm, she made me concious of this and asked me to change my mudra tot hat of the Universal mudra where the two thumb meet like holding an egg in your palm. This small and insignificant pointer made a great difference to me in my later life. Blanch who went on to become the Abbot of Zen Center later was someone I have great love and respect for in her relentless dedicaton towards Buddhism, but i gave her the run for her Buddha robes when I was her pupil. If anyone in my perception during my term at green Gulch who could attain towards enlightenment in this life through the Zen practice at Green Gulch it would have been this tough white haired motherly lady who could withstand all the trials and tribulations thro
wn at her in the course of her personal journey as an Amercan Buddhist.
Paul Discoe was the other indvidual back then the I had great respect for in his way of practicing Zen. Paul was what i envisioned Zen Master Bankei might have been like. He was called the Zen Bull not for his physical appearence alone but for his solid and no nonsense approach towards practice. Paul had the compassion of a true Bodhisatva, a compassion that cuts both ways, he can be nice and he can be a real pain if the situation demands it. Paul was a worker, he liked to make things happen, work was his practice, lectures and sermons were for the birds unless he was forced to do so. He had simple answers for most of the time when confronted with deep philosophical questions. I once aked him about smoking pot and practice and he laughed and told me its like drinking tea make no big deal about it and it will be no big deal. I enjoyed working with him as we put green Gulch back into shape after a short span of neglect when the Sangha was put on hold as everyone was in a state of mourning over
Baker Roshi's fiasco.
A few months after my arrival at the Gulch I noticed how the older students especially the ladies ordained or otherwise walking like zombies in black robes and pissy moods. Then I attended saveral community meetings where the Baker Roshi's incident was tabled and felt sorry for the Sangha. But this was what prompted all the newer students to act under Paul Discoe's leadership together we decided to put the Gulch back on its track wiping clean all the past incidents that had been haunting the residents through pure work. Along with Peter and Wendy and Ed Brown's sense of humor, the practice period of 83-85 managed to awaken the Green Dragon from its slumber and despair. It was only later that members of the City Zen Center started to drift into the Gulch to join in the resurrection of its Sangha. By the time that our practice period was in full swing, by the time that (The Rev.) Terry Sutton could chant the heart Sutra in its entirety without looking at the book, by the time Mark Boydston could get use to sleeping in the gaitan like verybody else instead of out there in the fields, and by the time that the farm was producing at its maximum capacity again, the Baker Rosh
i incident almost ceased to exist in the minds of the new Sangha.
Work was never a shortage at the Gulch, there was the fields and the garden to grow, the tree linings to cut and trim, the preperation for the rainy seasons making sure that all drainage system were ok. Then there were the minds to be healed like mine and the others who came there for one reason of another and there were egos to pacify or when circumstances demands to be crushed. There were lessons to be learned all the time and one never misses rubbing against the neighbor's shoulders the wrong way creating a friction that needed to be patched up. There were old idols that needed to be destroyed and new ones that got erected but all in all the Green Dragon began to roar again the Buddha's Dharma and many came from far and near to listen and to enjoy the meals the walks and the sitting at the Gulch. I sat and talked with the former owner of the Green Gulch Farm Mr.George Wheelright one fine afternoon and in his words, "You (the Practice Group)
, have done a splendid job in turning this place around again, thank you."
I spent alot of my free time studying all i could about Buddhism and was very fortunate that the Library at the center had a great collection on the subject. I dived into all the Sutras and the different schools especially the Tibetan Lineage which was my favorite subject and put to practice what i read testing the waters and submerging myself into the depths of what it was to be a Zen Buddhist. At one of my Dokusan or talk with the teacher one on one, I told Ed Brown that it was not easy for me to bow to the Manjushri statue on the altar being a Muslim. Ed told me that if i believe I was bowing to a piece of wooden sculpture or to a devine being known as manjushri then I was in trouble, but if I had understood and accept that i was bowing to emptiness what was there to worry about? It was just a part of the ritual for joining the club. To look beyond the symbols and rituals one is free from all clingings to forms and emptiness.
The late Dainin Katagiri Roshi, who was the first abbot of the Minnesota Zen Center was one of those teachers who had an impact on my practice. Whenever he was around doing a Sesshin at the Gulch I would not fail to sit with him for a Dokusan. The Roshi at our last meeting took a hold of my hand and and looked straight into my face and said in his soft voice, "Always remember you original intention, your original motive, who you are
and why are you here?"
The Vietnamese monk, Tich Naht Hann in his room told me one day when I viasited him to appologize for ringing the big bell while everyone else was sitting in meditation thus dirupting the peace.He said "Just keep being who you are, you may ring the bell at the wrong time but to many it was the right time! They needed to hear the bell to awaken, most were falling asleep anyway."
Suzuki Roshi the founder of the San Francisco Zen Community taught of Zen Mind being a beginner's Mind. I had abandoned my past when I arrived at the gate of the Green Dragon Zen Center. I was empty spiritually and emotionally and I had no idea what my furte held, thus my two years spent at Green Gulch was in a state of tabula rasa or an empty slate. Anything goes and nothing was out of the ordinary. I met and dealt with many from all walks of life, writers and artists, priests and farmers, bankers and lawyers and they all came to Green Gulch to find peace and solace from their daily lives. I played the clown and the companion, the strong and the retard, I was what they wanted to see, to touch to to taste, mine was the beginner's Mind, mine was Zen mind.
I spent the next few weeks slowly recovering and getting to know the people around me, I sat the sitting meditaiton and found it helped the most as i slowly got to know my breath and getting to know my breath was the best healing process for what was my problem. Most of those who were there doing their practice period were also pretty new to the place I found out and were very sympathetic to my plight. The older students and residents however had their reservations and some openly let it be known, this was their Zen practice and understanding those who never got over their nurosis in the first place no matter how long they were exposed to Buddhism. I had to learn to take what they threw at me while I recovered my health. It did not take long before i was totally cured and Green Gulch became my home despite all the prejudices and negative perceptions I received from the ones who felt threatened by my precence. The more recently joined students became my allies and i found comfort
in their company as i learned of who was who in the whole Green Gulch community.When the Practice period was officially on the road it became very serious and full of energy with all the participants fully involved and committed to the practice. Pual Discoe was an excellent Zen Teacher who was there but was also most of the time invisible. Ed Brown's loose style and non-judgemental attitude kept the classes alive with open discussions about Zen Buddhism and everything else under the sun. In the fields where we worked under the tutelage of Wendy Johnson and Peter Rudnick Zen manifested physically. It was work with loving kindenss, work within as well as without, work for no other reason than the sheer joy of working alongside those whom you have come to love and respect. Strangers at one time now became members of a family and thus the meaning of a Sangha came into being.
It was the work practice that tied us together under well experienced instructors whose Zen practice was also in the making learning as they progressed as teachers. I enjoyed the talks I had with Blanch Hartman who was at a lost in trying to deal with my idiosyncrasies and my nurosis and my anger at life, she was the mother I never had and hope never have to after. One of the instructins she pointed out to me about my sitting was how I would hold a fist laid on top of my palm, she made me concious of this and asked me to change my mudra tot hat of the Universal mudra where the two thumb meet like holding an egg in your palm. This small and insignificant pointer made a great difference to me in my later life. Blanch who went on to become the Abbot of Zen Center later was someone I have great love and respect for in her relentless dedicaton towards Buddhism, but i gave her the run for her Buddha robes when I was her pupil. If anyone in my perception during my term at green Gulch who could attain towards enlightenment in this life through the Zen practice at Green Gulch it would have been this tough white haired motherly lady who could withstand all the trials and tribulations thro
wn at her in the course of her personal journey as an Amercan Buddhist.Paul Discoe was the other indvidual back then the I had great respect for in his way of practicing Zen. Paul was what i envisioned Zen Master Bankei might have been like. He was called the Zen Bull not for his physical appearence alone but for his solid and no nonsense approach towards practice. Paul had the compassion of a true Bodhisatva, a compassion that cuts both ways, he can be nice and he can be a real pain if the situation demands it. Paul was a worker, he liked to make things happen, work was his practice, lectures and sermons were for the birds unless he was forced to do so. He had simple answers for most of the time when confronted with deep philosophical questions. I once aked him about smoking pot and practice and he laughed and told me its like drinking tea make no big deal about it and it will be no big deal. I enjoyed working with him as we put green Gulch back into shape after a short span of neglect when the Sangha was put on hold as everyone was in a state of mourning over
Baker Roshi's fiasco.A few months after my arrival at the Gulch I noticed how the older students especially the ladies ordained or otherwise walking like zombies in black robes and pissy moods. Then I attended saveral community meetings where the Baker Roshi's incident was tabled and felt sorry for the Sangha. But this was what prompted all the newer students to act under Paul Discoe's leadership together we decided to put the Gulch back on its track wiping clean all the past incidents that had been haunting the residents through pure work. Along with Peter and Wendy and Ed Brown's sense of humor, the practice period of 83-85 managed to awaken the Green Dragon from its slumber and despair. It was only later that members of the City Zen Center started to drift into the Gulch to join in the resurrection of its Sangha. By the time that our practice period was in full swing, by the time that (The Rev.) Terry Sutton could chant the heart Sutra in its entirety without looking at the book, by the time Mark Boydston could get use to sleeping in the gaitan like verybody else instead of out there in the fields, and by the time that the farm was producing at its maximum capacity again, the Baker Rosh
i incident almost ceased to exist in the minds of the new Sangha.Work was never a shortage at the Gulch, there was the fields and the garden to grow, the tree linings to cut and trim, the preperation for the rainy seasons making sure that all drainage system were ok. Then there were the minds to be healed like mine and the others who came there for one reason of another and there were egos to pacify or when circumstances demands to be crushed. There were lessons to be learned all the time and one never misses rubbing against the neighbor's shoulders the wrong way creating a friction that needed to be patched up. There were old idols that needed to be destroyed and new ones that got erected but all in all the Green Dragon began to roar again the Buddha's Dharma and many came from far and near to listen and to enjoy the meals the walks and the sitting at the Gulch. I sat and talked with the former owner of the Green Gulch Farm Mr.George Wheelright one fine afternoon and in his words, "You (the Practice Group)
, have done a splendid job in turning this place around again, thank you."I spent alot of my free time studying all i could about Buddhism and was very fortunate that the Library at the center had a great collection on the subject. I dived into all the Sutras and the different schools especially the Tibetan Lineage which was my favorite subject and put to practice what i read testing the waters and submerging myself into the depths of what it was to be a Zen Buddhist. At one of my Dokusan or talk with the teacher one on one, I told Ed Brown that it was not easy for me to bow to the Manjushri statue on the altar being a Muslim. Ed told me that if i believe I was bowing to a piece of wooden sculpture or to a devine being known as manjushri then I was in trouble, but if I had understood and accept that i was bowing to emptiness what was there to worry about? It was just a part of the ritual for joining the club. To look beyond the symbols and rituals one is free from all clingings to forms and emptiness.
The late Dainin Katagiri Roshi, who was the first abbot of the Minnesota Zen Center was one of those teachers who had an impact on my practice. Whenever he was around doing a Sesshin at the Gulch I would not fail to sit with him for a Dokusan. The Roshi at our last meeting took a hold of my hand and and looked straight into my face and said in his soft voice, "Always remember you original intention, your original motive, who you are
and why are you here?"The Vietnamese monk, Tich Naht Hann in his room told me one day when I viasited him to appologize for ringing the big bell while everyone else was sitting in meditation thus dirupting the peace.He said "Just keep being who you are, you may ring the bell at the wrong time but to many it was the right time! They needed to hear the bell to awaken, most were falling asleep anyway."
Suzuki Roshi the founder of the San Francisco Zen Community taught of Zen Mind being a beginner's Mind. I had abandoned my past when I arrived at the gate of the Green Dragon Zen Center. I was empty spiritually and emotionally and I had no idea what my furte held, thus my two years spent at Green Gulch was in a state of tabula rasa or an empty slate. Anything goes and nothing was out of the ordinary. I met and dealt with many from all walks of life, writers and artists, priests and farmers, bankers and lawyers and they all came to Green Gulch to find peace and solace from their daily lives. I played the clown and the companion, the strong and the retard, I was what they wanted to see, to touch to to taste, mine was the beginner's Mind, mine was Zen mind.
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