On Knowledge

The Great Hadrat Abd al-Qadir al-jilani,may Allah protect his secrets, had this to say about man and his quest for truth;

"Man cannot attain the truth unless he is pure because his worldly attributes will not leave him untill the essence is manifested in him. This true sincerity. His ignorance will only leave him when he receives the knowledge of divine essence. One cannot this with educattion, only the Lord of Truth without intermediaries can teach it. When the Lord MostHigh is Himself the Teacher He gives one the knowledge from Himself... The man who knows must be aware that the child of the spirit which is born in the heart is the meaning of true humanity; that is the true human being. He should educate the child of the heart, teaching unity being constantly aware of unity - leaving this world of matter and of multiplicity, seeking the spiritual world of mysteries, where there is none other than the Essence of The Devine Truth."

When I first embark upon my journey in seeking for answers for myself of things that had been gnawing at my brains I was living in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I worked for three years as a boner or meat cutter in packing houses in Green bay and Milwaukee. It was one one of the the most toughest and at the same ttime dehumanizing job i had ever done. yet I survived for three years untill I realized that I was becoming like the very cattle whose meat i was butchering to make for hamburgers which ends up in supermarkets and burgerstands. I was so affected by my work that i ended up with a devorce and consequently lost the custody of my son. I succumbed to my animal passion like I was the devil incarnate, drunk or stoned everyday after work and womanizing every chance I got, I had no concience or fear of man or God. I know today what it is like to become like a mindless beast holding nothing as sacred and everything as fair game to satisfy my desires as I have taken that road.
My saving Grace came in the form of my devorce as well as my next door neighbor who talked me into quitting the meat cutting industry and take up schooling. According to him I had what it takes to become a student and so left with a broken home and a desperate need to find a remedy for my predicament I took up on his offer and entered the academic life at the University of Wisconsin, at Green bay. I took to schooling like fish to water and I was good at it except for one or two subbects which I failed or had an incomplete simply because I did not like the professors, otherwise i still graduated with a Cum Laude. It was during those years of putting myself through the University that I learned to take charge of my life and got into the more spritual side of my being which had laid dormant eversince I left Malaysia. I was introduced to spitual writings and thinking by my professors and friends and found the beauty in Zen Buddhism as my practice in life then even if i was a Muslim by birth.
Art was my tool of expression and when I was accepted to do my own self design degree through what was then called 'The University Without Walls' offered by the University of Madison, Wisconsin I embarked upon my journey of self discovery. Trhough this program I travelled to many countries and parts of the United States doing my courses for various classes every semester. My travels took me to England and later Germany, Colombia and Equador in South America, to the three South western Staes of New Mexico, Arizona and Colorado while living out of the trunk of an old Chevy Impala and my llast semester was spent in Malaysia where I was able to attend the 'Gawai Hantu' of the Ibans in Sarawak. Throughout my entire trips which often lasted two to three months I kept my mind occupied with books on Religion and philosophy. J.Krishnamurti and Paramahamsa Yogananda, Alan watts and Ram Dass, G.I. Guirdjief and Oespenski, D.T. Suzuki and Trungpa Rinpoche, Carlos Castaneda and various others whos writings and teachings inspired my thirsty way seeking mind. I absorbed knowledge and put them to the test every chance i had.
By the time I graduated from the University I had gathered to myself more than just academic knowledge, I had awakened from my sleep and placed myself on a more arduous journey of self discovery. I continued what I had started in school and kept an on going journal of my encounters, my thoughts and what I had come to understand from them and this I have been doing till this date. It is my hope even as with this blogg that my simple effort of accumulating my experiences in the form of journals, drawings and writngs would become useful for those who have the same inclination to do somthing simmilar to what i have done in their persuit of knowledge. My effort is for those who are on the road towards self discovery towards coming to an understanding of who or what they are. my effort is for those who feel lost as to which way to head on after they have found the knowledge they seek and are looking for what else to look forward to in their progress towards their devinity.