Why do I Keep This Justifying Myself?

I am fully aware of the fact that I have been complaining,trying to justify, trying to make sense out of what is the mundane in my life and from any philosophycal or psycological perspective most people would agree that this is not a healthy or productive practice. "No one like to read about your complains or your need to explain your life away." I have been told by one or two close friends and i agree with their views on this matter. Life is too short for one to spend so much of it analyzing and scrutinizing it till there is no more room for one to make any mistakes from it when all is researched and verified. It is not my intention to do this from the start but it seems to have developed along the way as I keep this on going journal, I find that writing about my day to day experience has some form of benifit for me. I am by nature a ver y careless individual and I have always been careless about what my life is all about least of all in trying to explain myself of how or wherefore i am at. I like to believe that i live in the moment like most great philosophers or intellects profess htemselves to be doing but who am i kidding?