Pink Floyd-Wish You were here

So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell blue skies from pain... can you tell the green field... your heroes were ghosts... hot ashes to dreams... cold comfort for change.... did you exchange... I am at the cyber cafe with my two children...how i wish you were here...running over the same old ground...the place is filled mostly with Chinese and a few Indians. Its a pleasant change from the regular place that I would write from where it was mostly Malays and the atmostphere was like serious. This place is located in Ayer Itam and where my son would hang out at thwenever he visits his buddy Fahim and stay overnight at his house. How I miss the good old Pink Floyd days when I was a student at the University in Wisconsin often flat out on the living room floor in one of my Thai student buddie's dorm and with earphones stuck into my head with this song blasting away into my soul...Wish You Were here...
This place is alive and i am glad my son had insisted that we came here tonight after the breaking of the fasting.

I wonder what battles are raging between my spiritual healers and the bad guys who had decided to hex my wife. I wish i could be in the foray and wielding my own sword cutting down the demons that were employed to do the dirty work of corrupting souls like they tried to do to my wife. But who am I kidding? I am no Costantine and there is still a part of me that is skeptical about the whole thing still and that part is the weakness in me that doubts when pure faith is called for, that fears when pure courage is called for, that gives up when perserverence is called for. For most of my life i have been trying to locate and remove this part of my being but every so often it gets the better of me and that is when i stumble and fall walking the same old ground, more as Pink Floyd would have said it like living in a fish bowl. The Buddha called the dual thinking mind and in Islam it is called...Nafsu. The state of mind that bows to the whims of one's lower desires or give in or give up ever so easily and readily without a fight.
I am however not one to walk away from a fight when push comes to shove and especially when the safety of my loved ones comes into question, I too will be will to reach into hell if need be to grab my wife back. My love for her has grown more and more since we were married and it was not a love at first sight for us it was more of lets give it a shot kinda and make it work for both of us for we were both in bad shape when we met , we had no sense of direction and were still working out our neorotic lifestyles at the time. When it comes to relationships my wife's is a story of a battered woman who was ill treated by three separate men in her life at least that I know of and each leaving her with an abortion and as for me i had the same option for her but decided to take on beigna husband and raising my child instead. No sense in looking back too much it only makes for sob story and sob stories is not what i have in mind on this day of the fastinf month of Ramadan!


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