All Good Shit Must Come to an End

Well I would have to say that loosing my job with JRS is not a total disaster as Ihave just about had enough of sitting around and playing with myself trying to figure out how to keep my body and mind busy despite the serene and tranquil environment I am located at. As anyone of my age would testify lossing the job and the prospect of finding another decent one would be short of a miracle and having two kids still in school and having to make sure that the rent and car patment are made monthly will all add up to what turns a man of good faith and intellect into a terrorist. Just about, as this is an ongoing investigation into the factors that spawn terrorists or rebels in answer to the former Prime Minister's question into this matter, like What makes a Terrorist? What pissed off every decent hard working caring and creative individual into a demon of high calibre? Well I have pondered upon my own life and reflected upon every episode of thus so far arse kicking events that have led myself into and I have come a little closer to the answer and it is not and has nothing to do with politics,religious fanaticism or socio-economic causes, it has to do with every one of these factors and then some.
At this age of mine it dont really matter one way or another how I end or where I end but I am sure not going to take all the crap thrown at me throughout my adult life with my hands tied behind my back. What makes a terrorist is one very angry man performing his last angry scream towards every injustice and uncaring and inconsiderate acts thrown against him by the Almighty Himself, not man but the bloody God, in whose image he was created. I cannot blame my felow man for all the wrong nor will I keep on whipping myself for the mistakes I have made throughout my life, but enough is enough, I have not walked the path climbed the mopuntains threaded the forest in vain to get where I am and like bloody hell if I am going to exit this existence with my tail between my legs. Yes this is what it takes to become a terrorist and then some now all one need is to find a cause.
Alright this is what a normal reaction of my mind whenever I am confronted with another major change in my life, it goes on a panic spin creating for iutself a worse case scenario and if I had been on drugs or have been having a drinking problem, the scenarion mightly like manifest itself into some pretty nasty, negative and even destructive act one scene one on the richter scale of human psyche. But being older though less wiser has its check and balance when it comes to making radical and unjustified moves that would affect your loved ones or those who look up to you for support. Even if one can impail one's soul onto the crucifix of mayhem one cannot deny those one has a hand in bringing into this life thier chance at gatting a better crack at this life. As one good friend once said, lets not sweat over the little things in life or turn every setback into cancer case and all things in life are little things.
So what the hell am I trying to tell myself ? Why am I rambbling away on this Friday morning while my children are in school and i have just had a good mee goreng for breakfast taken a good crap and now on my way to the University to see what I can gather in terms of getting my works on show? Yep! The show must go on... the only form of self justification left for verrifying my existence lest it be called wasted. They say its the road to the top that matters when one is climbing a mountain the top is just the end of a very long and tedious journey filled with surprises and disappointment, the journey and not the peak is the goal but the peak is conquered, the prize the end. For every journey there is a beginning and there is a middle and an ending, how excitng, how wonderful, how glorious the journey is, is entirely up to the traveller and the traveller who could turn every boring trip every negative episode every failiure into a success, into story worth reading is he whose life is well lived. Life is a blank canvasse ready to be filled with all the colors of the rainbow it is in how we apply the paint that is our style, that is how we live our life. No man can force us to use the colors we do not want to nor make us draw what is against our nature, no man can make us dream any different from what we have already envisioned in our minds, but it is for us to fill this canvasse with our own hands and creative juices, with our blood sweat and tears as we trudge towards the peak of our individaul existences.
I will scream my last scream when the time comes and it will rattle the mountains and raise the tsunamis, it will be heard far into the heavens and down into the sixth level of hell or call me not a man, created in the AlMighty's image.Damn if I am merely going to fade away from this life without leaving behind me my final cut!