The First Of May

And Guese Who'll Cry Comes First of Mayyy!!, the Bee Gees. One of those songs that had stuck in my mind because The First of May in 1988 I was in Malaysia on a visit from the States, I had to pick up my Uncle's body placed at the back of his Van and drove him home or his expired body and later the next day helped to place his body in the ground. I was eating my dinner while watching TV at Ma'Cik's house, my mother's younger sister living then on top of Brown Garden and along came a stranger and told me that I need to go and drive my uncle's body home to his house. I was stunned! But I did what needed to be done and felt for the loss of my adopted father on the First of May leaving behind eight children, the youngest at not yet one. Tis was one First of May I will have a hard time dropping from my mind it is only through relating my feelings now having written as often in the Ramblings of the Cheeseburger Buddha that i am beginning to find some relief from my deep rooted Karmic consequences, born through Body, Speach and Mind from beginningless time, Greed, Hate and Dellusions...
One the First of May in 1981 I left Green Bay, Wisconsin en route to Sand Point, Alaska with my new found friend Rbert Sergei, a photographer cum Commercial Fisherman who spends his summers in the Alleutian Ilses. We stopped over along the way out of the State of Wisconsin a a small town of Little Suamico and there together with a group of friends who got together to grow five hundred baby plants as a conservation effort. When I left Green bay that day I had burned all my bridges behind me. No more relationships, no place to return to the farewell has been said, I left for Alaska with just enough money to get me there and even then I had to borrow US87 dollars from Robert to make payment for flight ticket on the final law of our journey and that was from Anchorage, Alaska to the small Aleut fishing town of Sand Point out in the Baring Sea. That is a whole different story to be told in yet another chapter of the Ramblings of CBB.

My present left for the US together with my two children sometime on the 2nd of May in 2004 and my show opened one year almost exctly I was ponted out the fact by my daughter one evening in Brown Gardens. The few weeks as I watch my wife deteriorate physically as well as mentally was when i painted the piece I call the Big Bang! I know that watching me paint the big paintings was a comfort for her it was something she can relate with. I completed almost ten canvasses when I was living in Terengganu and I did them sometimes despite the pressures we as a family were enduring. My triumph on this First of may of 2006 is to share them with the world and together with most of my sketchbooks laid out for anyone to browse through allowing them for a peek into one human mind (HUMIND). How strong or how fragile we are, how close or how far that we are, why we are and who really are at the End of Days. For those who find the time and the opportunity to share this exhibition can find a small gift here and there that I know will help them in some small wat to deal with their unfulfilled dreams and ambitions, to not despair. There is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud and if only we have faith in ourselves to make it happen. My efforts has always been focussed in the issue of turning succesout of defeats, a grace rather than a curse and thus the Month of may will be a successful Month from henceforth and so it wqill be and Guese who'll laugh comes every First of May...Ain'Sha'Allah... with the Hu's Wiil.