How much more before its too much?

The past few weeks has been one of my soul searching moments in life that has tossed me between believing and tossing it all to the wind. The fasting month came and went and things are back to normal whatever that may mean. The kids are on vacation and dont know what to do with themselves. My son wants to go back to the east Coast and my daughter is staying with her cousins and I am still selling ferry tickets to see the day through.
The wage barely kept the three of us alive and the school is demanding their share of the take as my children are foreign students. I feel like a foreigner here myself somtimes and when i listen to the foreign workers i work with getting their cards red green or otherwise with no problem I envy them. My application for my children's Malaysian citizenship status has taken six years now and the paper works is now headed for the Prime minister's private secretary's desk for perusal. I am praying hard that something will materialize from this as i cannot think of any higher office that i can submit my application to anymore.
On looking back into the past I realize that all these events that have been manifesting in my life are merely repercartions of what i had or had not done in my past. To the Buddhist it is karmic and to the Muslim it is Cause and Effect. Whichever it is I am sure having a good taste of what living in uncertainties is like. Friends would not let me despair too much by reminding me the fact that I am not living in the Kashmir areas of Pakistan right now where the big earhtquake had just left thousands upon thousands of God's children out in the cold. I am not living along the Gaza satrip where killing is a way of life or the many African countries where malnutrition and human cruelties to one another is rampant.
Allah has His reasons and he is All Knowing, or like the Christians would say God works in mysterious ways. Perhaps He is trying very hard to let us know that like in Pakistan's case fighting and killing eachother along the Pakistan/Indian border is not cool or bombing mosques while the people are in it is also uncool. Juist as in Aceh, Indonesia wher the Tsunami swiped half the population and the town, there too He was perhaps sick of Muslims killing eachother, just as in Sri Lanka which was hit by the same Tsunami, there the Tamils and the Sri Lankans are at eachother's throats like there is no end to it, so why not a little lesson in life and death.
Oh well lets no get carried away and take life a day at a time and see where I can finds the money to pay for kids next years' fees.!!
Hey whatever happened to your oldest boy the American Airline pilot! a friend asked me the other tday. Yeah I said whatever happened to him, Last I heard he got married after that we kinda lost touch even on the internet! Well whatever he is up to i am sure he is still flying up there in God's friendly skies and i hope he is happy and safe wherever he is, God bless him and God Bless America.
As for the Swiss Kid, he is most probably still running around angry at ther world just like his father and mother used to be when they were about his age. I met his mom in Green Gulch farm, in Sausalito California sometime in 1984 and the AlMighty or the Buddhas had to mark the occaision with producing him to testify for the aupicious meeting between a Malaysian Dodo Bird and a Swiss Airhead. The result is what we have living in the Swiss Alps of all places and complaining about life. Oh what a great thing this life is!! I pray daily to the Almighty that he protects all my children wherever they are and so my wife and loved ones wherever they are and that he will find it in His complete Wisdom and Compassion to forgive Us All for all our past, present and future wrongs, It is not easy to be Humans.