Wednesday, September 07, 2016

The Eye Doctor and the dentist can wait; I can't afford them yet.

My eyes are getting to a point where they start to cause me to have to stop along the road while driving because I have a double blurry vision and cannot focus, happened this morning on the way here to the USM. It is not an important news to most who still read my Blog but it is for me a cause for concern watching my vision slowly break down like this. Yes i should have seem the optometrist years ago and the last one I had was when my son in Dubai took me to one there. I have a blurry vision and have trouble seeing long distance, however i suspect there is more to it than just seeing problem as the problem I experienced was followed by q nagging migraine. High blood pressure? Hmm...such is.
Self healing , is it what it cracks up to be? Perhaps it is all a hokkus pokkus that is simply a par of a delusional mind thinking itself mightier than the natural course of phenomena. But as a 'self seeking' or 'Way seeking mind'. I have to put it to the test,; no outside help, no doctors, no physicians. Not that i do not have any faith in the medical profession but what is the use of going on an experimental journey if every time one is ill or something is not right with any part of the physical body, one runs to the man in the white coveralls, or swallow a dozen or so different colored pills. As a part of my meditation practice i have always emphasized to myself that, " I am the master of my body, speech and mind! and this have been doing for as long as i can remember, someone called it ;auto suggestion. I think on the whole it does seem to work as i last saw the doctor about over a year ago and that was after I have not seen one for God knows how long. 
I know that self healing works if it is genuinely and determinedly put to practice, not of faith alone but more so on belief in the fact that what is one's understanding is in fact to be the truth. The laws of nature works without discrimination, as one sows, so shall you reap. Bad Karma, Good karma, it all boils down to your understanding of the nature of the Laws of Attraction, the laws of Abundance, the laws Love and Compassion and how they affect not only your spiritual but your physical well being as well. These laws are not something man made, hey are inherent within all santietn beings, that, all that lives shall one day die is the ultimate Law of cause and effect.Believe in what gods you may want to or worship whatever deity as you see fit, but none can defy this immovable Law of Impermanence of things.
At 67 and on looking back to all the good and bad experiences in my life, the errors and the right i have manifested, I strongly believe that I am the master of my own Destiny. I write my own thesis and i pay my own price for the consequences i have incurred in this life. I am not the body, nor am i the mind, I am That I AM. Decay and decadence is part and parcel of my whole being and there is nothing in this world that can make it any more or less than what it is. I have tried to put my faith in so many different forms of Gods and deities, in my so called friendship and and in gurus and teachers, saints and philosophers in the course of my 'self seeking journey throughout my adult life, but thus far i only find that i have not put a strong enough unconditional faith in who I AM.
"Na'uzubillah!" or God forbids, if i were to go blind ihn this physical form anytime in the near future i would welcome it with and open heart and perhaps even with pleasure as i would have to learn how to cope with living in darkness. I would be free from the burden of having to cope with looking and seeing the chaos and the sadness that is sprouting ever on the increase around me. I would be deprived of the beauty and the attractions that me sense of sight is used, but i have seen more than my share and and as an artist have captured most in my mind's eye. Loosing my sight will be a minor inconvenience only in the fact that i would cause concern over those who love and care for my well being. It would be a good time to join a Buddhist monastery if one would have me.
"O' Sariputra, Form is Emptiness and Emptiness is Form, that which is Form is Emptiness, that which is emptiness is, indeed, form, The same is true with thoughts, feelings, perceptions, impulses and even consciousness..." So says the Heart Sutra of the Buddha.
"Seek not in others for what is your own salvation, but be true to who you are and discover that which is your own Buddha Nature, that which is before even you were conceived by your parents." I understand this to be the essence of the teaching of Shakyamuni Buddha; know who you truly are and take charge.  


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