Rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof.
I feel deep within that i am drifting apart from my children and in a way it is meant to be just as most parents faces the same prospect as they get closer to the grave, however some are a little more fortunate when their children remains closer to them out of a sense of filial piety. The truth is i have little confidence that any of my children will come through for me in my old age. me eldest has written me off after he got married and settled down so much so that i have no knowledge of what his in laws names are! More power to you my son, but i still maintain that you beware of the ground that you walk on especially when your head is among the clouds. It would be a lie for mew to say that it does not affect me one way or another and i do feel sad about it. It feels like I am being judged, jurried and executed if not insulted, for failure as a father. Oh well maybe it is for the best, I can stop hoping and counting on him to carry out the Bahari legacy as he has decided that they will have no children; perhaps too much work.. I hope that I have not committed such a heinous crime that my son finds no room for forgiveness, then again this is the difference in being raised as a Muslim and being raised in the Western tradition.
Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully.
All that is happening and that will go on to happen are the fruits of my own doings and this I have no doubt and to undo what has been done is not possible but i can learn from what errors i have made as in my mind I am still the experimenter of life itself, how do I relate to others and how others relate to me. Sometimes i push the experiment a little too hard or too far and the consequences are what i am ;looking at now. You can learn about someone better if the person reflects your own weaknesses and confronts you with it. Those who remain passive and dull seldom have much to teach you about human nature; love your enemy.
The Media is filled with the tragedy of the missing MAS Flight bound for Beijing from KLIA. On board there was 232 passengers and the plane is yet to be recovered. The media is also rife with the jail sentence of the former Deputy Primeminister who was accused of sodomy. The water shortage and the relentless heat wave of the drought that hits country and the haze that comes to blanket most of the west coast regions are among the latest grieve this country is facing, and the Malays have time to fight against the rights of others using the word'Allah' in their texts. We are juggling rotten eggs while the good ones are being shipped off to China.
Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.
If by chance today I am called back to my Maker it would be the greatest gift He can bestow on me for I really have very desire in prolonging my existence given all the scenarios that my mind is being challenged with and for what? How soon they forget, who tasted the salt first or who extended the first gift or help, thinking that life is in making it big time and making it big time means giving up those that at one time would have died for them if the need had arise. But this is It, this is the way the story has come to end, this stage is where all things crumbles as nothing is permanent save who you are. You came ito this world alone screaming like you are on fire and causing so much pain to your mother and your father and they raised you to the best of their ability till you are what you are and in return you have the audacity to judge them and humiliate them in the eys of strangers whom you call in laws. If i am a father in law to someone I would demand to meet his or her parents as a token of respect, bu t then that is just me, I have been raised as a Muslim and now i can comprehend the wisdom in it. Lest your own child becomes just as you are be mindful of how you walk upon the ground that had raised you. You can learn from your parents of the truth about life or you can experiment about it till it explodes in your face; do not think that you have it all figured out simply because....
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.
I love all my children but as it is I am stepping away from being attached to them as i have stepped away from my own parents, family and friends in the past, present and the future; I am one of those who will live on the fringe of their lives looking into from outside involved but detached. I will carry my own ;loneliness to the grave with me and to those who think they have me all figured out more power to you, I say; at least you took the time to. As a father I may have failed but as a man I have walked this life where not many can say the same and I will continue to dive as deep as I can to unravel the mysteries it has to offer and in turn offer it to the world at large, to those who have the time and inclination to read what I write. Life is too short to be wasted and it is in this lifetime that i intend to find my own salvation from this illusion that is called life
The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.
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