The Trip to Bujang Valley.

 

                                                                   Way to Go Bob!

Ais kacang (Malay pronunciation: [aɪs ˈkatʃaŋ]; Jawi: ‏اءيس كاچڠ‎), literally meaning "bean ice", also commonly known as ABC (acronym for air batu campur ([air ˈbatu tʃamˈpʊr]), meaning "mixed ice"), is a dessert which is common in Malaysia, Singapore (where it is called ice kachang) and Brunei.^[1][4][5]

                                                   All gone Bob! (Bob Stam from Holland)
 

                                                Ben Ronjen taking a stroll down the jetty.

"Tanjung Dawai Seaside Town is a charming seaside town located on the northwest coast of Kedah, Malaysia. Known for its scenic views of the sea, the town is a popular destination for visitors seeking a laid-back coastal experience. Tanjung Dawai is renowned for its fresh seafood, local fishing culture, and bustling market where dried seafood products such as ikan bilis (anchovies) and salted fish are sold. Visitors can enjoy picturesque sunsets, take boat rides to nearby Pantai Merdeka, or explore local eateries offering delicious traditional Malay dishes. The town is ideal for those looking to experience the local culture and natural beauty of Malaysia’s coastal region." = Experience Kedah.

                                                 It was a Dog Day Afternoon at the jetty

The Lembah Bujang Archaeological Museum is the only museum in Malaysia which exhibits archaeological collections that serves as evidence of the existence of a trade and Hindu/Buddhism propagation center in Southeast Asia from the 3rd. to the 12th century AD. These archaeological evidence clearly shows that Lembah Bujang was a central port which served as a trade center for traders dominating the trading routes between the eastern and western countries especially the Chinese, Indian and Arab traders as well as Malay traders in the Malay archipelago who monopolized spice and exotic jungle goods trade for middle east export. Lembah Bujang was also the first port in southeast Asia via its sea route which functioned as an alternative route to China or Far East to replace the silk road, which connected Chinese and Far Eastern traders by land. Lembah Bujang’s significance as Southeast Asia’s central port was evident in archaeological finds and writings of Chinese and Arab seamen as well as in Indian literatures. These chronicles, dated between the 2nd and 14th century AD, told of the existence of a prosperous and bustling kingdom in Lembah Bujang that was known as the "seat of all felicities". Besides being the Nusantara’s ultimate trading center, Lembah Bujang also the focal point of Hindu/Buddha propagation in Southeast Asia during the 3rd to the 12th century, which proved of the existence of Buddhisme with Pala Mahayana influences from southern India. This faith was brought and practiced by Hindu/Buddhist Indian traders who came trading at Lembah Bujang. - Wikepedia

No Matter the age, It's the style that matters.

My realization while at the Peak of Gunung Jerai.

 You think you have a separate will from God! No You Don't!

Love Creates, Love Destroys, Love has the last laugh.

Shunyamurti Wisdom teachings. SatYoga Institute.

                                            And Lord Krishna plays his flute for the Gopis

"For Vaishnava traditions, the most important representation of the gopis' love and devotion for Krishna is a story in the Bhagavata Purana (10.29-33) by the name of Rasa Lila Panchadhyaya, which translates as "the five chapters on the story of the rasa dance". The bhakti or devotion that the gopis express in this story is believed by the Chaitanya tradition to exemplify the highest form of bhakti. In the story, Krishna's flute music attracts the Gopis' attention, making them leave behind their families and homes so that they can enjoy devotion of Krishna^[10]:"

What is Unconditional Love? Is it the absolute surrender to the Divine Love? Is it the absolute devotion to one's Highest Divine Nature, to the Sublime and the Silence that is? What is Unconditional Love that one holds to be the complete and absolute virtue within one's Self one's own Original Nature? Unconditional Love is the Complete Surrender of all ego based conditional perceptions, the Letting Go of the Shadow Complex. There is no good or evil if and when it is realized completely that there is no Self that witness this. Right and Wrong is a sickness of your mind, said the Buddha and I still believe it to be true even if i do not completely comprehend absolutely what it means but I have the taste of it in my mouth and feel it in my bones. How to live life according to this principle is another story. It may sound simple but it is not easy.

                                  I listen to His whisper in the Silence of my Mind.

You can only defeat your demons one at a time, and the only way is to want nothing, not even to defeat the demon. -Shunyamurti Wisdom Satsang. YouTube.

It is  in the ability to weave together all the contents of the conscious and unconscious mind stuff that one might come close to self discovery or in knowing who you truly are. it is in the ability to connect the dots and sieve through the dross and the pure states of mental equations like the converting of golds from lead that one ight have a glimpse of one's original Buddha Nature, that which was before you were even conceived by your parents. The journey began with the covenant you made with Lord of Creation, when you swore allegiance to uphold your faith in the One True Lord and hold none other than Him as an equal. Your will is His Will and none happens without His Will or with His Blessings. So wake up and smell the roses before it all ends and you miss the boat boat that will take you home or forever lost, drifting in the ocean of misery and pain. Wake Up! and Stay Awake! Don't be fooled by the will of Ignorance and of Maya.  

 

 

Bujang Valley Archaeological Site -Kedah

 

Lembah Bujang or Bujang Valley is located two hours drive from Penang in the State of Kedah northern Malaya. It is the location of one of world's oldest archaeological digs recently discovered and some say older than the Angkor Watt in Cambodia and the Borobudur in Indonesia. The site is estimated to be more than 2000 years old and covers a vast area in the Tanjung Dawai coastal area. It is believed to be a confluence of trading post in ancient times between China in the East and India in the West and the South East Asian group of Peninsular and Island including Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines which were then known as the Malay Archipelago or The Nusantara.   

The Bujang Valley (Malay: Lembah Bujang) is a sprawling historical complex and has an area of approximately 224 square kilometres (86 sq mi), with the discovery of a set of new iron smelting sites, Sungai Batu site enlarging the settlement area to 1,000 square kilometres (390 sq mi).^[1][2][3] Bujang Valley situated near Merbok, Kedah, between 1,217-metre Mount Jerai in the north and Muda River in the south. It is the richest archaeological area in Malaysia.^[1]

My brother Ben and our friend Bob from Holland took a drive to visit the site and discovered that they have world class well set up Museum for the site which sadly enough not too many Malaysians visit especially not on weekdays and so we pretty much had the whole area to ourselves.

The area consists of ruins that may date more than 1,500 years old. More than 50 ancient pagoda temples, called candi (pronounced as "chandi"), have also been unearthed. The most impressive and well-preserved of these is located in Pengkalan Bujang, Merbok.^[4] The Bujang Valley Archaeological Museum is also located that known as Sungai Batu,^[5][6] excavations have revealed jetty remains, iron-smelting sites, and a clay brick monument dating back to 110 AD, making it the oldest man-made structure to be recorded in Southeast Asia.^[7][8]

The local rulers adopted Hindu-Buddhist Indian cultural and political models earlier than those of Kutai in eastern Borneo, in southern Celebes or Tarumanegara in western Java, where remains showing Indian influence have been found dating from the early 5th century. Relics found in the Bujang Valley are now on display at the archaeological museum. Items include inscribed stone caskets and tablets, metal tools and ornaments, ceramics, pottery, and Hindu icons.^[9]

When your past still haunts you - Rambling about doubts.

 What is my Higher Purpose? What am I here to achieve or accomplish before i depart, have I got a mandate to fulfill or am I obligated to complete a course of action that will benefit the whole, the world? How can I when I am still struggling to get my personal act together after all these years? These are tough questions questions that I have been confronted with ever since i set upon this journey of self discover as I am positive what most of like minded people do at some point in their lives. I have been making excuses and looked for justifications  for and against all these questions and I really have not found any concrete answers that i can rely upon to be the real and not just another illusive concept to set myself adrift again upon another trajectory and often I keep finding myself lost or adrift again with no sense of definite goal and this too I believe many are struggling with and most have given up trying. To live without have the least inclination of making an effort to find an answer to these simple yet hard to deal with questions is really not an option for all those who are awakened at the very least towards some spiritual calling in their lives.

Life to me is not all about survival alone, it is not about how much money you can make or how many cars and houses you own in one life time and to prove this I have my twin brother's life to reflect upon. and till this date I am not convinced nor impressed by how he has turned out to be. Many would jump to conclusion that I am envious of his wealth and well being; I am most definitely not in the least. As a matter of fact I wish he had been brought down a notch from his high pedestal of so called material wealth which makes his spiritual stance seem a fake or a show off. My twin brother I feel deep inside is a very angry and displaced man who from years of trying to reconcile with him for our childhood differences has revealed an unforgiving and hard hearted man by nature especially off course towards his nemesis, his twin brother. The fact that we were raised apart for the first twelve years of our childhood lives does not help much and is still a sore point to be content with. It was through no one's fault that this happened for no other reason than the fact that my family was living below the poverty line. Due to the same reason three of us were left behind to be raised by others with me being adopted by my uncle. In this case I was considered the most fortunate as I was raised by a good provider and my mother's younger sister, my late auntie who took care of my daily upbringing. My immediate family lived apart from the rest of the main family and thus I rarely saw or played with my twin brother growing up although later we attended the same primary school until the family moved to Terengganu on the East Coast where my eldest brother had a teaching job. I was left behind in Penang along with two elder brothers, one adopted by a Malay family while the other by a Chines family. These were my second and third eldest brothers whose lives needless to say was not easy. 

I have written my family life growing up on many occasion in this Blog and I am still dealing with the very same issues today, this morning. Why? It is simply because when I woke up this morning and  making all effort o be cheerful and happy while doing the dishes I am still brought down by the thought of how I have drifted away from my twin brother and how toxic our relationship has become and and worse of all how sad I feel despite how comfortable my life has been these last few years living with my two children. It is like having a carcass of an albatross hanging around my neck that lets off a bad stench which every now and then over powers my predisposition or my well being. I have a feeling that until I have good sense of reconciliation with my entire siblings I will never find the peace that i seek. It's like the devil has a hold on me through my family history and no amount of spiritual practice is going to heal this state of affairs, it seems we are destined to take our guilts and shame to the grave with us. Primarily I feel my in laws has been a catalyst to our descension as siblings and I hold it to their doing that has turned us against each other and this I will testify if and when I stand before my Lord in the after life. I have wanted to lay this on the line for a very long time but held back simply because I have been accused of 'looking for someone to blame.' Now I am letting the worms out of the can and these worms have been festering me for most of my life but I have kept them inside because of not wanting to hurt my siblings' feelings. However two of my eldest brothers have passed away and I was closest to them when they were alive and understood pretty much of their struggles. These were the two that grew up estranged from the family, raised by strangers and even their wives had axes to grind for one reason or another.

I love my brothers and sisters and I feel very sad that in their old age they rarely sit at the same table and talk of their lives, to forgive and forget and to unite as a family unit that has survived life's trials and tribulations before we all exit this life. I feel that this will never happen, not in this lifetime as the narrative of our family line has been commandeered by the In Laws. I am the youngest and as such I am not suppose to raise any issues where the family is concerned especially when I have lived abroad a good part of my life and my lifestyle is not a good model to be emulated, but i have been a witness with a deep conscience knowingly or otherwise over the years and I have seen how my brothers especially my eldest and twin brothers have been cowed by their wives to the point of dismissing our immediate family as irrelevant and this is what has been keeping me awake most of my life. Every time I visited Terengganu I had to drop in and say halo to my siblings like it or not as it is mandatory by the laws of Islam which says never to sever the blood ties among one's siblings. There were times when my elder sisters would urge me to pay a visit to my brothers and against my will I would. Many a times too when I do visit my brothers they viewed it as looking for a handout and often my visit with then end up in animosity or a fake show of love between siblings. I am as good as a stranger with their children or worse as I don't have any idea who is who anymore. it is sad that children were being influenced to pass judgement over their adult because the parents do not see eye to eye; this is growing up as good Muslims?

If I seem aggressive in my assessment of my family situation especially towards my in laws it is only because I have to face my own demons from within me. I am not the most congenial person when it comes to my relationship with others, especially those closest to me. I have most of the time being shut off and distanced for my intrusive demeanor and my straight forwardness when in conversation. I like to let my thoughts be expressed regardless of the consequences which often causes me this rift with others. I am far from perfect in character and most in need of being silenced in my opinion than allowed to discuss family matters. However I am writing as i mentioned earlier only because these are the matters that have haunted me my whole life and may the Lord forgive me for my regurgitating these thoughts so as to release the pressure that threatens to cause an implosion from within; this is after all the purpose of keeping an ongoing journal is it not? So why am I justifying to myself on why I am letting out my personal feelings of my family? I do not intend to judge or be judged but merely relating what is in my heart and mind and if by chance someone reads these thoughts and feelings and feel that I have transgressed against any of them, well I welcome the interaction. I welcome any accusation or chastisement if it helps me to understand better of my own errors and perceptions. I have stopped apologizing for how i feel at this day and age and it is not my intention to stir any form of animosity or raise any ire on account of how i feel but I am simply liberating my soul from the bonds of ignorance that have plagued me about my family. 

My older siblings were all highly intelligent people with their own gifted qualities of which not many outsiders have especially not among the people they were married have, and this is why they were married into these families. I say this with commitment and pride and not because of any form of comparison or lowering the dignity of those they married; as always the Devil is in the details where this is concern. As I have mentioned somewhere in the past, my Mother was born of a royal bloodline from Deli, in Sumatra, Indonesia as so was my Grandmother and my Grandfather was a Bonafede Artist a close friend and confidant of the Sultan in Medan, we are descended from two highly respected clans not just any common folks. Our genes are sliced with two highly cultured bloodlines and I know my siblings would rather bury these facts with them, I am not them. I would like to let it be known that the intelligence and beauty that is apparent in the children and grand children of my Grandparents were not accidental. I have been to Medan and looked into the truth of he matter and so did my uncle and we have proven the authenticity of these claims but on his advice I chose to remain silent on the matter; again the Devil is there in the details and the details is best buried or so it seems. In a letter written to me from my eldest brother to inform me of my father's death, he said that with the passing of our father the Ceylonese bloodline of the family is buried for good. Perhaps he had suffered the most in life due to my father's errors and weaknesses and thus it was why he made the claim; my father was a drunk his entire life that we knew as so was my Grandfather. They were both however great Master craftsman and artists and to me most importantly they were true to their wives till the end of their lives.

                                                                 Me and my Shadow!
            

       

What does the Date 12/12/24 have in store for you and me?

 12/12/24

An auspicious date? 

Angel Number 1212 paints a mosaic of experiences, each piece representing a unique facet of life’s journey. This number, often associated with spiritual awakening and growth, finds its narrative enriched by these numbers:

• Angel Number 3939 – Inspiring Creative Freedom: It inspires creative freedom, encouraging the exploration of new ideas and expressions.
• Angel Number 848 – Encouraging Material and Spiritual Balance: This number encourages a balance between material and spiritual realms, seeking harmony in all aspects of life.
• Angel Number 2121 – Fostering Self-Realization: It fosters self-realization, guiding towards a deeper understanding of one’s true nature and purpose.
• Angel Number 855 – Symbolizing Emotional Equilibrium: This number symbolizes emotional equilibrium, promoting peace and stability within.  -Goddes Gift.
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• The Painting on the 12/12/08

One of my habit while driving is to observe all the number plates on cars ahead of me especially at traffic lights. The significance of numbers or a set of number has always intrigued me for some reason that I never pursued to find the answer to until this morning when I stumbled upon a YouTube post by 'Eye of Wisdom -  CAUTION The 12/12 Portal is Activating which was posted One day ago it said. It caught my interest and I listened to it with deep attention for some unexplainable reason. It would have never occurred to me that I am witnessing a unique date in time of the Universe that will not happen again and to find it at this moment when it just turned 0ne in the morning was quite a surprise least to say. Then i did a little search of the significance of this date and came upon the above post by the 'Goddess Gift' link with information about numbers and their spiritual significance, what a coincidence! 

"Biggest Spiritual breakthrough of the year. If you have been waiting for a sign, this is it. The 12/12 Portal is not some vague energy shift or over hyped spiritual event. It's the Moment. A doorway into alignment with the universe master plan crafted specifically for next year. ..it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to step into your true purpose. A rare energetic window created for the attuned....the 12/12 Portal will affect everyone in one way or another. The question is: will you harness it, or let it pass you by."...

"The 12/12 Portal is opening marking the final energetic of 2024 for the Chosen Ones. This Powerful Alignment is a Gateway to spiritual ascension, higher vibrational shifts, and profound clarity." from the YouTube post by 'Eye of Wisdom'

Time to let go of the load.

So what does this auspicious date has in store for me? It is almost 4am. and I have been listening to the recitation of the verses from the Quran and before this I was listening to an 8 hour long Brain Hemisphere Synchronization Track in Delta Phase Patterns via the high quality earphones until my ears were numbed. What do I hope to gain from all these 'crazy' acts that would seem to most people a major waste of time. Perhaps as I am writing all these down is one of the reasons as i every so often maintained, if nothing else I might add that I have improved on my writing skill, for what? Who cares what for! Personally it is for self satisfaction, the realization that I have accomplished what i had set out to do for no apparent reason other than to help heal my body, mind and soul ; which I call self discovery or in getting to know who or what i truly am and how i fit in the scheme of things. Perhaps there in my heart there is a hope of achieving some form of higher self realization or even self liberation but all these are perceptions and they only lead to more questions than answers. However what else is there to keep this mind from becoming scattered more so than it already is or worse, the mind becoming stagnant and decadent and before you know it senility sets in.

Whatever the outcome of this 12/12 Portal phenomena has to offer me I will never know except keep on doing what I have been doing with a more genuine and sincere determination so as not to miss the boat if and when it passes by. Deep in me I can feel that things have been stirring more so than ever and small miracles are manifesting more so than ever and the feeling of lightness of being seems more prevalent than the feeling of gravity and heaviness of the spirit. I am grateful to the Lord of the Universe for all these blessings and though I am far from being perfect I am close to being at peace with myself as I am able to find the compassion to forgive myself and to forgive others. I have no doubt anymore of where my faith lies and am happy to embrace fully my faith in the Lord, Allah Subhnahu Wa Ta'ala. I doubt that this makes me a good Muslim but it is a good beginning, I feel. 

Change is coming, Change is Good.

 I have been barred from making any comments on YouTube videos, at least this is what I feel. Perhaps its just a glitch that i am not able to write my comments or perhaps i had made comments that was against YouTube guidelines, whatever it may be I am not fazed by it as I am on the way trying to make myself free from the use of the Internet which has become th most addictive tool I have to drop from my consciousness. One of these days Google might stop me from Blogging for one reason or another too and that too is alright as I am having difficulty letting go of this what has become habitual and further more I am approaching the end of my journey or journal writing. Over twenty years of writing my thoughts down for better or worse and I am now at the end of sharing whatever is worth sharing with those who have taken the time to read this Blog. I need to change and change seems hard to happen when I am glued to something that I have become addicted to or attached to. I am fixed upon trying to make that One million hits or reads and this has become and egotistical endeavor to proof to myself that i can do something worthwhile in this life. The original intention was not to achieve number of readers or how much money it can generate, the original intention was to make sense of of my life following the advice of many psychiatrist that journal writing is a good way for self discovery and self healing. But now as in my last entry i find myself becoming involved into the politics of the world which I find is beyond my control or has any impact upon my course.

I have no wish to reveal my thoughts beyond what is necessary to the topic of my intention which is to unravel all that cause and effects of my life from my childhood till today and i have pretty much done this. It is now time to move on toa new and more challenging expedition while I still can in this physical realm. If i do not and i keep on writing as I am doing now i will not find any growth in my spiritual state as it has become stagnant this search for the truth whatever it entails. I have been able to trim most of my relationships with others including my family, relatives and friends and not in any negative way as I will always keep that string unbroken and the status quo stays intact. I am merely detached from being too involved with most of these people in my life but am still in touch with them on a different level, a level that is less intimate than what used to be. I have touched their lives and they mine in more than one way albeit that we have become interdependent upon each other in times of need or otherwise. It is also in this light that I am going to remove myself from the attachment to this media services such as YouTube, and the the Rest of the Internet, it would like moving to the forest life again with a 'Safety' Net rather than the Internet. It will be a tough route to take at my age but what is there to loose after having gained so much from this life and what more can I ask for other than keep on living life to the utmost limit of what it has to offer me.

I have worn to serve or live a life of servitude, instead of living life for myself I live for others. I have tried to ease the burden, cheered the downtrodden, encourage those in need of comfort and  have given as much as I can afford in charity; this is in keeping with the vows I had taken to live the life of a Bodhisattva or as a Muslim, the absolute servant of my Lord. It is with the hope that i can change to a higher level of servitude with the capping of all that I have learned and experienced thus far and moving to a new and wider horizon is just my way of instigating or generating a more in depth knowledge of who I am and what I am capable of before the curtain is dropped. I am grateful to my Lord for having given e the opportunity to taste the best and the worse this life has to offer and still blessed me with many good opportunities that lies ahead of my remaining years. As the world at large is slowly embroiling into a catastrophic turmoil it is time to seek the rudimentary of what life has to offer, like to learn to grow my own food, catch my own fish and face the Nuclear aftermath with calm and tranquility. Having experienced as a homeless man on the streets of San Francisco and eaten at the most expensive restaurant in Dubai; I am ready for what lies ahead.

                                                      A Painting that has gone Missing.

   

Rambling Of America and Trump.

 Donald Trump has won the election and it is scary. Trump is a bully of the small people even though he comes up as championing their cause. At the International level Trump's second coming will spell a tremendous stir in the course of peace and security for most countries especially those hat have joined the Brics alliances. This move to upset the US currency from being used as a monetary choice of exchange in International trade is a direct challenge to Trump and his would be administration; it a major hit on Trump's ego especially now as a world leader. American hegemony is coming to an end as countries all over the free world are drifting away from looking to the US to lead. The on going drama materializing in the United Nations with the was in Ukraine and the Occupation in Palestine has left the US in dilemma and in the eyes of most member countries the US have become a liable to the world peace. The Biden administration has been accused of being complicit in the Palestinian genocide being carried out by the rouge state of Israel. As Israel becomes a pariah state in the eyes of the world community America follows sooth and this is one of the major scenario that the Trump administration has to handle in its foreign relation policies. The US has crossed the line when it comes to being a contributor towards the genocide happening in Gaza and there is no turning back even if the US allow for food and various other aids into Gaza, which it cannot because Israel is not a willing dog as it used to be; the tail is now wagging the dog and the dog simply does not acknowledge it.

Trump is a champion for all the major global enterprises from the arms manufacturers to the pharmaceuticals, from the killers to the healers from the energy industries to the agricultural productions and god knows what else that holds the world economy in a strangle hold, but he would be the first to deny this put on an impression of battling these mega demons for the man on the street. It is very sad and pathetic indeed to see Americans succumb to such a grand manipulator with a criminal track record and dubious past to run the most powerful country in the world. It is as though Americans have stopped using their brains and are to doped up to even care to admit that what they have allowed to happen to their country is short of  blasphemy, an insult to their intelligence. All I can say is that America needs a miracle and it needs a wake up call of the Divine Nature! The US is about to implode. I have long felt it in me that any form of disaster that would happen to the US would ultimately be of its own making, it will most probably be a revolution if not a civil war that will tear the Nation asunder and it is slowly building up towards making it happen. This is karma, it is a collective karma that has evolved from the curse of millions victims of genocide of the Native people and slavery of the Blacks and now to arrogance of power to dominate. Greed. Hate and Ignorance, the three illnesses that has plagued man since the beginning of civilization, has now come into fruition and the US will suffer the outcome of its collective blindness and disregard for the well being of the Planet and its inhabitant while in the pursuit of a hegemony over others.

The US has not only thrown Care and caution to the wind it has thrown out Love and Compassion along with it. if one follow and listen to the speeches made by the two candidates running for the presidency one would not find a single mention of Love and Compassion uttered; "it is a real dog eat dog world we are living in Master Jack, and you know how i feel if I never come back, it's a bloody strange world we're living in master Jack! I have lived for 21 years in the US, married and had two children born in  San Francisco, California and when I express my thoughts of the US it is through experience and observations and need I say that I love the country and the people without a doubt and why the more i feel sorry for what is happening to the country and the people. A country where Christianity has taken deep roots in the hearts and mind of the people and Buddhism and Islam is growing in influence among many, yet spirituality is being oppressed by the growing scientific and technological that imposes new and challenging norms and ideas that often derails any spiritual faith in the hearts of man. In a country where just about every Tom Dick and Mary is an expert on religious and spiritual issues, Americans I found are lost, drifting in their own self propagated sea of illusions and delusions. Homelessness, addictions, domestic violence, racial conflicts and intolerance, these are but a few of the emergence of the sores that hides deeper and more infectious rot within. Christianity has lost its sanctity over the People of the US as even the churches and its administer are found corrupted and lost forfeiting their so called divinity to the Devil. The true believers are desperate today, so desperate that they are beginning to see Christ and Angels floating down from the skies all over the country thank to the Internet I got to see these too for real or not. Perhaps this is a mass hysteria or a collective consciousness screaming for salvation from on High. WallahuAlam, only He knows.

I was around when John F. Kennedy was President and even when I was a mere teenager living on the East Coast of the Malay Peninsula, I was touched by his greatness through several of my high school teachers who were American Peace Corp Volunteers. Till today I still feel that the Peace Corp was the most positive and beneficial gift America had to the rest of the world. These were the true ambassadors that helped to put America on the world map as a leading Nation; too bad they had to snuff him out when he could truly have made America Great! Trump and the rest of them who came after Kennedy would never come close to the light that Kennedy had shown as a President. The evil that had put him to the grave is the curse that the rest of the American Presidents will bear as this is their ultimate karmic consequence for snuffing out the a true torch bearer or Freedom and Liberty that was loved and respected by the rest of Humanity; may He Rest in Peace, InshaAllah!

Today Americans are complicit, guilty and responsible for every single child's life that is being extinguished in Gaza! There is not denial and even the blind can see this tragic truth and what a karma the nation is manufacturing for itself. To a degree the rest of humanity is complicit too myself included and I know I have to answer before my Lord for this travesty when I finally face Him, InshaAllah! Pontius Pilot washed his hands of the sin of Christ's crucifixion, but we as a member of the human race will not allowed to do so for we stood and watched and lifted not a finger nor a voice of protest. To those who marched the streets and braved the so called law keepers all over the world, I raise my hat to you and may your fight and prayers reach the All Mighty that He may intervene in the name of Peace and Justice for all. For those who carry out the genocide and other miseries that is happening all over the world I pray that you will outlive us all so you can enjoy the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust. 

I rest My case.       

Rambling on about what is and what could have been.

 What motivates me to become a blogger is the need to tell my stories, my experiences, my trials and tribulations as I walk this life from the beginning to the end. It is the need to make sense out of all the non-sense that i have encountered and subjected to asking myself why or what it is that i am expected to learn or benefit from these experiences and if they are worth it all. My stories are what defines me of who I am or  who I am not, they are the record of every step I have taken and every challenges I have met, they also define my character, my strength, and my  resilient, my weaknesses and my bad habits, the things I could have avoided and those that I could have fostered. It has been almost fifty since i first decided to keep an ongoing journal which was in the beginning in the form of an art-journal which I did while I was doing my 'Independent Studies' for my studies at the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay. It was in 1978 and it was the first of my trips leaving the campus to fulfill my curriculum which involves doing my Art while on the road. This too has become a repetitious old story so I will not dwell on it any further. It was out of the trip to England and keeping a record of my trip as part of the course study that I got the idea to keep an ongoing sketchbook journal which I did and perhaps still am doing except for the advent of the Blogging and the Internet the sketchbook has been phased out.

                                                     The Journey of a thousand miles...

According to the latest data/stats the Blog has 813803 hits or reads thus far which really not that impressive considering the length of time that is involved and the number of posts that has been posted 2702 since the Blog was first started which was sometime in 2005. If the stats were to be accurate the Blog has a good flow of readers who seemed to follow what i write and if in the process these individuals were to learn from it a thing or two that would help them find their way, or shed some light upon their life, I am happy that I have achieved what i intended as an Artist/Blogger/a Spiritual Seeker and then some. I can safely look back and say that I have not wasted my life and it has been quite roller coaster of a life with a whole lot of ups and down. Not that it is any different from the rest of humanity as most of us will declare our lives to have the same characteristics when we relate our stories especially that of our past, like how we got to be where and who we are today. In more than one way I am blessed for at my age I am living in comfort relatively speaking, it is mostly the charitable gift of my children that i survive. As such I make it a practice not to waste my time and make hay while the sun still shines. Thus I cook, I wash, I clean, I shop, I am the uber or grab driver and make sure that things happen as they should without too much strain and at the same time make a contribution towards the betterment of Whole.

                                                   The Concierge at eh St. Peter's Hotel.

'I am the Whole, Complete and Perfect I am Strong and Powerful, Loving and Compassionate, Harmonious and Happy and I can do what I will to do, InshaAllah, so help me Lord. This has been my principle, my confirmation, my affirmation for many years ever since I discovered of it in the first book of philosophy I ever read and it was called, "The Master Key." I was introduced to the book when i was in my early twenties and took it with me to the USA when I was twenty five. I have tried to live by these principles ever since and it has helped to remind me of who I am. The Practice also is intended to reenforce my self esteem that had suffered tremendously while growing up and help to heal my anger tendencies resulting from being subjected to toxic environment and circumstances especially during my childhood years. I must say that of late i do feel the benefit of these meager practices taking positive effect upon me in my daily life. I am less to rush in and destroy or attack and i find myself often taking a step back from confrontations. I even find myself putting up a front of surrender and acceptance when in the face of adversary nullifying a potential confrontational situation with a Asalamualaikum or peace be with you, often done involuntarily and it would even surprise me pleasantly within. These are the small almost insignificant manifestations that has been happening in my life of late and I feel more lighter in mind body and spirit.

                                            Nino Soprano the Pianist at St. Peter's Hotel, Rome.

I am approaching the final phase of my journey and that is how to face death. It would be a lie to say that i am not afraid of death; I am. This is because I have allowed myself to be delusional when the subject of death arises and the Internet is full of horror stories and images persuading me what it would or might be like according to various faiths and religious practices. In the subject of death, ignorance is bliss, it is better not to know then knowing what is or might not be true and fear will always be the key. Most of us fear death as it is inevitable it takes the foremost attention whether we know it or not. Perhaps it is a morbid practice to pay too much attention to the nature of death but not having a clue as to what transpires at the end of your days is not an option if one is a truth seeker or a true believer. Personally, I take the study of what death is as a way to stay alive and keep my mind young and vigorously active in trying to solve the ultimate mystery of death and longevity; the elixir of life is within me and it is up to me to activate it and make it work if i choose to live a long and healthy life. The elixir is in the small details on how I live my life and to what purpose I wish to keep myself alive for a longer duration than is necessary; what have I got to give in return for the extra bonus time that is being blessed upon me.

                                               The Way Seeker at the Colosseum in Rome 

So, what truly motivates me to be a Blogger, a word that had no meaning before the advent of the Internet, What make me want to keep an ongoing journal of my life? Have I wasted a whole lot of precious time when I could have been doing something else more lucrative and productive?? I have no answers as to the reason but i know deep within that this Blogging has saved me from a whole lot more confusion and chaos in my life. Perhaps I may never come to realize my true nature or if there is even such a thing as my true nature, perhaps like all lese I am merely killing time while waiting for the end game. I do not truly understand but I do have an inkling as to what if I had not made the effort to keep this ongoing journal, where i would be today with the load of crap I have been carrying with me from day one of my existence on this planet. Life and death, hey walk hand in hand like me and my shadow, what is more pressing than getting to know how i would end and why i was alive in the first place?

                                                                  When in Rome!

    

  

Early Christmas Buffet Lunch with the Boys at E@O Hotel.

                                  Ben Ronjen, Eric Taylor and yours Truly hanging out at the bar.
 The Hotel’s restaurants and bar—Sarkies, 1885 and Farquhar Bar—have a celebrated reputation for serving an extensive menu ranging from Penang’s local delicacies to European fine dining.

                 Acting like debonairness for posterity, You don't need to be one but you can act like one. 

                It seems to be destined that my First Christmas tree picture will be at the E@O

                      In the distant horizon one can see a Pleasure Cruise vessel passing by. A rare sight. 

But it was not until the opening of the Suez Canal in 1869 and the arrival of the steamship, that travel to Asia assumed unprecedented style and luxury. Writers, actors, playwrights, the rich and the titled, bored with Europe and America, looked to the exotic East to satisfy their wanderlust. Suddenly, there was a new breed of travelers – the globetrotters.

Established by the famed Sarkies Brothers in 1885, whose architectural landmarks also include the Raffles Hotel in Singapore, the Eastern & Oriental (E&O) Hotel in Penang island is the only hotel in the heart of the George Town UNESCO World Heritage Site that possesses prime sea frontage. Over its century-and-a-quarter history, the E&O Hotel has played host to some of the world’s most celebrated artists, writers and heads of state.

 

Come what come, happen what happen...Me and my Shadow.

                                    It's a Bloody strange world we're living in master Jack!

All that is needed is for the sound system not to function on the PC and i am thrown into a loop, my anger starts to raise its head and I am sitting here wondering if this cycle would ever end, this mini grievances would not pull me down. I am even trying to write about it like it helps. Perhaps it is what is needed at the moment or i can go lie down and listen to Quran recited on my Tablet. But it should not be that on account of my son telling me he is too busy to fix the sound I am thrown out of my track, no not going to happen, I am through with falling victim to my ego not being able to handle minor irritations without getting all bunched up inside. No Sir, I am going to keep on writing as thought this is the last moment of my discredit existence. Hoe weak can one be after seventy odd years still not able to say fuck it! Don't need it! I am sick and tired of listening to the Rape on Gaza and how terribly insane and corrupted the American Government has become, and why the war in Ukraine must come to and end and how many are facing death in the Sudan and Yemen comes winter. So I cannot listen, what am I missing? Sometimes I listen so much to what is being fed into the Media on the Internet, I am beginning to miss listening to me thinking to myself. At the same time I put so much faith into what is sold out there that I have no faith in myself. I am lost and drifting every moment I am faced with a challenge, sometimes so simple and irrelevant, and it triggers in me the negative energy that sends all sense of creativity and fun and excitement into the closet and it is war! I know it makes little sense but how else does one makes sense out of every non-sense, make what is unreal into the real? Only by expression can one expose these minor irritations, the petty tyrants that think they have you under their thump, or so it seems as nothing, at the end of the day is real, nothing that is transience is real, and we are existing in a holographic manifestations of our own collective minds and this has been confirmed by the ancient religions and modern science and i personally do not need any confirmation other than I already have tasted and experienced and still in the process perhaps till the day I die.

There is no way that i can totally become free from my incessant thinking, the monkey mind will not allow it and there is  a battle raging out there that is causing so much stir in the Universe and among the Chelatases within; mu mind refuses to make believe that all is good with the world and with myself. No, for so log as i am breathing in and out I am bound to be seeking ways and means to bring my mind to a silence, to be detached from the influences of what is out there to what is within and one of the ways I have set myself in practice is writing it all down as it happens; thanks to Blogger and the Internet i am able to keep this on for as long I have the computer to play with. The many hour I have spent on writing this Blog entries is how long I have been able to detach myself from making too many mistakes and making poor choices or crying over spilled milk and feeling a victim of all circumstances. My self affirmation practice includes; I Am Whole. Perfect and Complete, Strong and Powerful, Loving and Compassionate, Harmonious and happy! and I can Do What i Will to Do. Kun Faya Kun! InshaAllah. How I wish that I can attain to that level of becoming who I truly am; like Al Insan Kamil or the Perfect Man.

                                                     Nothing like a plateful of Lambchops!

One can only dream of becoming free from all these so called mental formations in the physical realm, this realm of Maya, or illusion where nothing is Real and everything seems real. One pick and choose, make the choices for what is positive and detach from the negative, trying to practice being good and rejecting the not so good. I am a conditioned being and this conditioning has been with me since I was in my mother's womb sharing the space with my twin brother who till this day we can never see eye to eye. Can you imagine my story? Can you see what i had to face throughout my life from the moment i was given up for adoption while my parents kept my twin? Perhaps I am looking for someone or something to lay the blame on; am I? I was raised a Buddhist while the rest of my family and relatives were Muslims all living under the same roof. What i see today is that i survived, I have crawled my way out of the conditioning as best i could and live to write about it! It's all about me and my shadow, shadow of the past present and future.

                                               When you're free from your minor hang-ups