When the Tide is Low

There is a low and a high tide in all that we do our life is one long series of highs and lows; a time to be down and w time to rise up;  in being comfortable wherever you are high or low is the secret of  survival.

There is decadence and lack of preservation signs of our inattention to life's gifts. Taking for granted what is already there and looking for what is missing; I could rebuild this site into a great art studio!

The rustic abandoned structure and the boat laying wasted in the mud it all has its own innate beauty in the eyes of the artist. There is always a sense of sadness or melancholy about it that evokes from within the sense of impermanence in life. 

To survive alone is not all there is to life; life is more than just a challenge; it is the will to live well and productive; to be creatively alive is the way of the artist. Seeing in everything a thing of beauty, of design and balance to see beyond the flotsam and garbage heap and feel the vibes of life is the cultivation of sensitivity and awareness.

In drawing or sketching there is the basic principle that one must see and that is the vertical and the horizontal lines that exist in the universe; then there is the principle of light and darkness, that helps to create forms such as the shades and shadows. God created a line before He created light. "Let the be Light!" is a line of words He uttered.

Nothing wrong with having a Self -

Nope nothing wrong with having a self, in fact no self no existence no existence , nothing to tell, end of story, death. But knowing the fact that the self does not exist in one's mind, having this realization deep in the heart of heart, one has to understand one's self and all there is to it.
It is in this human form that one is capable of loosing the self for eternity for as humans we are endowed with the capacity to have choice and make moral judgement upon one another, it is in the human form that we are capable of committing horrendous sufferings in the form of wars. We are capable of becoming inhuman worse than the mindless other sentient beings, the animals, the flies and the mosquitoes when we chose to.However it is said it is in this very human form we are in, whether rich or poor light or dark, from the East or West, North or South, that we may enter the divine, attain liberation enter the Kingdom of God, Heaven with the angels and the river of milk and honey.(or  Hell).
The desire to embrace a religious faith is admirable but to remain in a religious vacuum is not healthy for the humind especially for the minds that depends on other minds for their survival.
You are the world as Krishnamurti expounded in his works, the world is you, you are part and parcel or the Whole, (so long as we have a thought of 'self' as our point of reference). Me and you, I am as you are, for so long as I am breathing in and out in this time and space...this Is Existence...Life.The Collective Mind of the human race on this planet has the power to shape this planet into whatever it needs it to be if there is total understanding of the simple principle of co-existence- Live for the benefit of others, this is Servitude, this is serving God. Islam is said to mean the unconditional absolute faith in the Will of Allah, The All Mighty ( because I am a Muslim I am a believer so I say Allah, you may say The Father or Christ of Yahweh or The Nirmanakaya, Locana Buddha, it is all relative to who you are, why the confusion? I am not ready to give up who I think i am  or becoming, I live my life day to day trying to make sense out of the non- senses of my personal life. I have yet a long road (Insha'Allah or God Willing, ahead of me towards cleaning up my closets and emptying my garbage from the attic. I have been attached for too many years of my life towards making this life worth living, worth to die for God willing. This one life that I have had the joy of living through thick and thin, I am thankful, Alham DilliLah, thank you Lord, thank you for everything I have experienced throughout my life thus far. Thank you for this still  Ass-kicking mind that You have installed as part of who I am. Yes I am always thanking Allah in my mind and I am forever asking for His forgiveness for all this Larger sins and the smallest throughout my life. For what it is worth it has helped my to stay rooted in the believe i have the faith I uphold and the commitment I have made towards this whole idea of my blogging.
To make sense out of nonsense, to find peace amidst chaos to seek out the spiritual that is within me and to live my life sharing this story of my journey towards Salvation and the afterlife..Amen!

Renungan - Reflections 2

As my time is at hand I can only reflect and reconstruct in order to untangle the tangles, release the knots and the allow for better flow of my Chi or energy towards what I am doing at the present moment as I put my thoughts on to my blog...what do I hope to achieve? Why the need to accumulate the past and fill the present for what purpose? Sharing! Giving, Free Advice to myself the world my daughter, my sons my close ffriends and 'Followers" in my blogging.
What I am doing I call the "Art of Blogging Art.". The art of sharing a moment in time through myriads forms of expression as the humind is capable of and sharing it with the 'Whole". The Good, The Bad and The Ugly all three has their days in our lives and so before the whistle blows and the end draws near as the final breath approaches, well I do what I can...justify my life away and look at life with a smile of the Buddha.Such Is!
Before i got to blogging I kept an ongoing journal in the form of sketch books filled with photos, sketches, drawings, watercolors charcoal drawings and writings. Just like this blog and i have been doing this since 1978. My first journal was started when I visited London and Waelles on a school assignment. I am sure the journal has appeared some where in my earlier blogs. and to this date I have uploaded over 700 such similar entries  Where am I going with this? Wallah hu Alam, I dont know. All i know is it a porcess of learnig about who I am and putting it all in such a format the it is ongoing and easily accessable for the rest of my fellow dreamers throughout the world.
Before He stops my beating heart I will prepared myself for the final scream just like the 'Thornbird" as it impales itself onto the thorns of the thorn bush and letting out its wildest scream and it is dead.. and the Thornbird in all its life never sang a note till then. The preparation for meeting the moment of death or when the angel Israel stands before you, it takes a lifetime in itself. From the moment you took your first breath till this very minute as you read my writing, death stands on your left shoulder. Be aware, not beware! Death is the reminder that all is well as it should be so long as you breath and when you miss a breath or two be forewarned. 'Shorter of breath cause you to death..." as Pink Floyd wrote. So watch your breathing cause it all begins and ends right there in no matter what you do or who you are, 'Life is like a swinging door, it swings in when you breath in and swings out when you breath out...when you stop the game is over.
Bare attention. The practice of monks of the Hinayana School of Buddhism teaches the students to remove all attachments to forms and senses as one is confronted with the external phenomena. With the practice of 'Bare Attention' one removes all the urges to get sucked into an involvement with whatever the arises in our consciousness .our realm of existence- our Being.
It is said that because we think we have a self we suffer, we suffer from our self-consciousness our self pity our self loathing, self aggrandizement, self serving and so on. All this because we think we have a self and with this as a critical part of our understanding of who we are we have chosen to exist as such over thousands of years perhaps since the day we were able to think for 'Our selves". 'I think there fore I am' and we can go down another rabbit hole with that idea.
So it is said that also that the self does not exist, that what we think as who we are as a self, a separate entity on its own, does not exist. There is no souls or free spirit or one who transmigrate into the next life, does not in Reality exist. It is impossible to put your finger on what or who you are if you have no self. You find you are lost for there is not point to stand on and no references to gauge by as to how far or how near you are towards understanding who you are in All of This so call the phenomenal existence. And then you die with your mind wrapped around your faith or a belief system in order to feel being a part of 'The Whole".
But for those with the awakened mind, those who take the trouble to ask the question, who am I? Who is God? and what the Devil is going on? Is this  all there is to life? For those who seek to find out the truth for themselves they will meet up with despair and total failure for there is no answer, or they will discover an answer according to their thinking personalities.
The only thing we are disconnected is from The Lord of the Worlds, The Creator of existence Itself., call Him what you may, by whatever given to imply , The One Existing Truth, Allah, or God or  Atman-Brahman or the Tao, you have come from Him and to Him will you return, no ifs or buts. This is the mystery of mysteries, the cycle of life, death and afterlife.Surrendering one's self to the ultimate state of Being Itself is perhaps one way of subduing our small thinking mind, the ego. The Final Cut, the liberating of that which is from the attachment to an ego, a self. The Buddha is said to have uttered "I, am no more." as he passed into the Great Nirvana or Pari Nirvana.
The likes of the Buddhas, the awakened ones those who have 'Seen the Light', those whose dual thinking minds have been transcended and those who had behold the Truth in a single moment of their Way Seeking Minds, to these the approach of the end of our physical  existence on this planet or as we grow matured or older in age it is crucial to come to terms with knowing who we are. It is imperative that we die prepared and if possible with full awareness of the moment life leaves this form we call our body. In doing so we can perhaps come to an even better understanding of who or what we are in relation to all that Is for whatever it is worth. Death is the ultimate catalyst for our need to understand life, if how well we have lived really means that that will be a better afterlife for us or will we merely evaporate into oblivion ending all that is.Our physical Death is never easily brushed off even for the most bravest of souls for it still remains a question in our minds and with it our hidden fears of it. The death of the ego goes through similar process.
Then again I could be all wrong about this so do not take my words too seriously they are just for musing only. What would life be if there is no time for musings. Even the Buddhas farts and laugh every now and then!
'
.

Renungan - Reflections - The agony and ecstasy of School life.

So! Bahari San, where are we at right now? What is really happening in your life? Are you happy? Satisfied? or still moaning and groaning about things that might have been?
Are you sitting? Practicing? making life any more easier for yourself and for others? Well whatever it is life keeps on searching into the future with or without you. As the days fly by it has become more apparent that in seeking to understand my 'self' the journey itself is the salvation, the relationship I have shared with others and the not to mention what is the natural as well as the supernatural some that can be told then some are not. All in all I should believe I am living my life as it should be, as I had envisioned it to be; an elegant beggar.
My body aches now and in more different locations and i blame it on 'Angin' or wind and everyday I put my body into some good workout which includes at least half and hour of meditation focusing on my breath as soon as i wake op. Another part of my routine is doing the same before I lay off to sleep..call it yoga or zazen call it by whatever name the practice is part of my daily activity and it helps to align myself physically as well as spiritually as I 'Wird' or chant a repetition which usually simply is AllaH! as I breath out and Hu as I breath in.
I then come out of my meditative state which simply being a little more calm and centered and less aches and pains in the joins and the tight muscle has been freed in the neck and shoulder areas, Then I get out of bed from my sitting and do a little more vigorous stretching in the form of Tai Chi as well as Martial Arts movements, ( I was a member of the Silat Seni Gayong Malaysia in Terengganu and alter had amny students of my own), the movements is carried out focusing on breathing to the point where breath moves the body not mind. This the essential part of practice when on the journey of self discovery. Everything, every moves and every breath is fully aligned and through this state of Samadhi this pure state of Being, your body dances with the Universe and the Universe dances through you.It sometimes is like small miracles when you find yourself in the state of bliss or at One with the Universe and it is so simple yet fewer and fewer have the patience or perseverence to endure the responsibility of a true Bodhisatva when serving the humanity , all beings in the ten directions past present and future and so on and so on...
In Surah AlKafi, the Prophet Moses failed at the hand the Immortal Prophet Al Khidr, in the test with regard to patience.
"What had you hope to achieve iin your lifetime?" he asked me and I had no answer to give as I really had none and that was some forty years ago, and he added, " because you do not know you have to slow down and find out what it is, stop thinking like an old man.".
 Ever since i had the talk with my High School Math teacher Mr. Andrew Heng( Mr.Andrew during that time was tall ans skinny with an impeccable hair cut and a tall pointy nose and thin lips of a Chinese gentleman who was a great Hockey player while we took a walk towards the beach at Sekolah Menengah Sultan Sulaimanin Kuala Terengganu, it got stuck in my mind and we were having this talk because I had told him that I was wasting his time and he was doing the same, so may I be excused from math classes.
I never sat for the math papers during the two major exams of my secondary school life. When the Invigilator announced for us to start, I wrote my name on the pront page and stood up and walked out of the examination hall, and this was for the LCE and the SC exams. I had a Mathematical phobia while in school/ My mind simply struck out and for every math class i suffered so much anguish, and later, I gave up on getting any higher education for the rest of my life.
It was not until I was invited to become a student at the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay in 1976 that the issue of my horror with maths cropped up as I had to sit for the SAT test to qualify and it involves taking a math test no negotiable. Passing the SAT Test was my ticket to make or break into the future. So I told my friend and neighbor who was a student councelor at the University of my predicament and he told me not to worry he had a friend who could help with the problem. Robert Hautamaki introduced me to a Mr. Armstrong, a math professor and I told Mr. Armstrong my spill with maths and he listened with great interest and when I was through, I felt myself exhausted but allot lighter in my mind. Armstrong told me let go of the past experiences and focus into doing math and doing exactly everything that he asked and no excuses and I did. For three tests during the semester i scored full marks of 100% correct. It blew my mind and Armstrong's and I told him he had unlocked the door for me into the future. I spent five years before i got my Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts; I enjoyed college life too much to rush through college life.
So what has all this to do with how i am doing at this moment in space and time....to be continued.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!

Its All in the Net!

This fishing village somewhere in Teluk Bahang or Tanjung To'Kong was a common sight  along the coastal fringes of Penang Island. The sandy path would be very warm to you bare feet and the smell of dried fish and saltwater will fill your nose. A cool breeze would blow every now and then to cool you down from the hot sun while the surrounding green will sooth you eyes from the glare of the sun reflected from the sand.   

Fishing nets drying out in the sun  one has only to be able to add to the sense of smell and the feel of the noonday heat to truely appreciate this picture. This was a typical scene from the past of Penang Island as one venture to take a stroll along the beach and fishing villages. 

The Net is the fisherman's  ultimate tool of trade and caring for it is no doubt a challenging chore that only those with great patience and love for the trade is capable of. The net was also a very expensive tool to be owned, I dont know about today since things have gone plastic.

The nets were deployed in many forms and strategy for each fishing situation. Will have to sit and shoot the breeze with my fishermen buddies to dig out more about these. Maintaining the net keeping it in good shape and untangle ready for use takes cooperative effort and each person involved was committed to the task.

larger fishing vasals laying in wait for the rising tide, the nets all set ready to be deployed when the time comes.

Fish like to have condos built for them in the sea as these large stone were used to anchor  the rumah ikan or fish house usually constructed out of a bunch of coconut leaves which float under the water like a huge tree providing shade for the fishes. 

One of the larger fishing boats moored alongside the beach jetty possibly to be unloaded. . 

Making Belachan - Old Style

A typical Malay meal without the 'sambal belachan (chan) it never a complete course. Belachan is usually made fron shrimp  processed into a paste. The belachan industry is still a strong part of the fishing income. 

 The process of making belachan involves a whole of grinding and moulding the shrimp to a mass and later dried in the sun. It is a smelly job! It is like making Blue Cheese only stronger in smell. I beleive there are two distincet smells that Malays identify with and that is the smell of belachan(especially roasted) and the smell of the King of Fruits, the Durian.It is a matter of getting use to like all else.

These pictures does not tell much of the process of making belachan but they  are a testimony to a n age old industry that is here to stay just like the Durian, Bleachn is being export to foreign countries today all wrapped up and  and packaged with style. I found both the belachan and the Durian(frozen) at a Chinese grocery store on Clements Street in Downtown San francisco, two blocks from where my family was living.

Check out the hairdo!! Belachan or not the hair had to be tip top.

Most  good stuff looks ugly and smells like belachan!

It was a common sight to behold rows of fish or shrimp or even squids being laid out to dry along the beaches and the smell being raised by the noonday sun from these filled the air with the aroma of the sea. This scene will forever be buried into the past as today one gets to see semi-naked bodies lazing along these beaches with roaring jet skis and speedboats is a more common sight. Where there peacefyl silence but foer the sound of the breeze rusttling through the palm trees, today we hear the sound of progress and ddevelopment.

Fishing In Penang -Old Style - 1

These few Gems of the old Black and whites capturing the fishing activities along the coastal Penang island aarea were taken for the fishery department by my neighbor 'sfather a man who was in his days was way ahead of his peers. We called him Pa' Haji Latiff or better know to us children as Bap' Lah... or Lah's father. He was a staff at the Penang Fheries Department and this may have been part of his research paer on the fishing industry on the island..

The pictures may have been taken in the early seventies? The coastal landscape of the Island back then was more user friendly, at least for the Locals who harvested the sea as a living. Penang basted of the best unpolluted and fish of large and small sizes and  large varieties were in abundance in the waters close to shoreline. Fishermen did not have to go too far out innto the open waters to find good catch.  

There were plenty for everyone and most fishermen were either Malays or Chinese and most work alongside each other with good understanding and mutual support for each other. The fishing life was just as difficult but rewarding as Penangites back then could boast eating the best freshly caught in the market, I have no idea what has happened since then.

Just as a car owner would care for his or her car, the fisherman maintains his boat  on a daily basis making sure that it is in good shape to take to the sea. This was more so true in the old days when the boats were mostly wooden boats. 

 The fishing villages lies mostly along the oastal areas of Teluk Bahan, Batu Ferringi and Tanjung Bu ngah in the North and areas of Gertak Sanggul, Batu Maung, and Balik Pulau. It was a blessing for those who grew up during this time as the rustic lanscape with huts and palm trees soaking in the sun was a sight to to remember.

An Opening at KDU Student Show.

A stroll down the Boardwalk -Fisherman's Jetty.

What is rustic is aesthetically a beauty in its own right and it is for the mind to capture as a framed picture each and every sight through the view finder in the camera. 

Framing the picture in the mind and transfering it onto the camera  is the work of a photographer as he snaps a picture and in this all the elements of the scene is take into careful consideration at a glance...balance.

Adding  an interesting subject matter to the shot is an added bonus and helps to provide a sense of identity to the pictures. 

nd the flag still waves as a reminder of patriotism under siege.

The flag of freedom is flying in the breeze as the caged bird sings in captivity.

And further down the boardwalk the house goes slip sliding into the sea.