Thursday, July 02, 2015
Sunday, June 28, 2015
How dare you die in vain!
What is Nirvana? What is 'Samadhi'? What is Moksha? What is 'Fana'? What is Rapture/ Bliss?
"Fanaa: Ego Death:
Fanaa is the Sufi term for extinction. It means to annihilate the self, while remaining physically alive. Persons having entered this state are said to no existence outside of, and be in complete unity with, Allah. Fanaa is equivalent to the concept of Nirvana in Buddhism and Hinduism or Moksha in Hinduism which also aim for the annihilation of the self.
The "annihilation of the self" (fanaa fi Allah) refers to disregarding everything in this world for one's love towards God. Whe a person enters the state of fanaa it is believed that one is at one with God.
In the death of the ego love is born, God is born, light is born. I the death of the ego you are transformed; all misery disappears as if it had never existed; Beyond this is the stage of intimacy (uns) at which the immanence of the Lord is perceived."
"Moksha in Hinduism and Jainism generally means the same as in Chrisitianity; which is slavation....in Buddhism, Nirvana. The deeper meaning of Moksha in Hinduism is the liberation of the Atman or soul from the cycle or birth and death forever."
" In the epistimological and psychological sense, moksha conotes freedom, self realization and self knowledge."
By: Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani"
"Fanaa: Ego Death:
Fanaa is the Sufi term for extinction. It means to annihilate the self, while remaining physically alive. Persons having entered this state are said to no existence outside of, and be in complete unity with, Allah. Fanaa is equivalent to the concept of Nirvana in Buddhism and Hinduism or Moksha in Hinduism which also aim for the annihilation of the self.
The "annihilation of the self" (fanaa fi Allah) refers to disregarding everything in this world for one's love towards God. Whe a person enters the state of fanaa it is believed that one is at one with God.
In the death of the ego love is born, God is born, light is born. I the death of the ego you are transformed; all misery disappears as if it had never existed; Beyond this is the stage of intimacy (uns) at which the immanence of the Lord is perceived."
"Moksha in Hinduism and Jainism generally means the same as in Chrisitianity; which is slavation....in Buddhism, Nirvana. The deeper meaning of Moksha in Hinduism is the liberation of the Atman or soul from the cycle or birth and death forever."
" In the epistimological and psychological sense, moksha conotes freedom, self realization and self knowledge."
By: Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani"
Vijay Kumar... The Man who Realized God in 1993 explains the concept of Moksha Hinduism. For more on bhagavad gita moksha hinduism visit - meaning of moksha. Send Your Query - click here Ref. 090929
Nirvana, literally means "blown out", as in a candle. In the Buddhist context nirvana refers to the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished, and the experience of blissful egolessness. In Indian religions, the attainment of Nirvana is Moksha, liberation from Samsara, the repeating cycle of birth, life and death. - Wikepedia.
I have randomly picked out a few views and perceptions with regard to the subjects that I have questioned such as ,what is Nirvana and so forth, just to share a little better understanding from others who have made such matters their object of studies. Ultimately this what i have been alluding towards eventually with my past few entries. That is the end of all practices, the final countdown, the final cut, the end of the journey; what is it that I have been trying to achieve throughout my adult life. In the end there is nothing to attain, nothing to achieve, not- a- thing to become. At he end there is only emptiness -void - God. (Call it by whatever name you will according to your preference.) I Am No more.
Nihilistic views of life holds no such values in life and as such those who have live life with no knowledge of who or what they truly are in the scheme of things often ends up with despair in the end. Life becomes meaningless and there is no light at the end of the tunnel after the long and dark journey of suffering. Most of humanity lives in this delusional state of existence and not even aware of it, just like sleep walking, stumbling along falling and picking themselves back up along the way till one day they drop and never rise again. It is a waste of time and space living out life no better than cattle herd destined for the butcher's block.
Thrill seekers we are most of us when we were young and we do whatever it takes to fill up the empty spaces in our lives in order to avoid being bored and lonely, to avoid not being recognized as the achiever, to avoid being accused as having live life in vain; yet in the end we find that all was for nothing. We grow old, loosing all that we have accumulated and watching all that we hold dear flowing down the drain before our eyes, seeing our reflections in the mirror as we loose one tooth after another and grow white hair where there used to be dark brown black hair and relinquishing all hope of ever being young again; all for nothing.
The mark of a great man is not in how long he had lived but in how well those years were lived. A life well live is worth the journey of a lifetime and what is left in its wake is worth emulating, worth reflecting upon, worth taking as a guidance in times of need, this was like the life of a Buddha, the life of the Prophet, the life of the Messiah, the life of the Great Rishis and Roshis, the life of the Sages and Sheiks of old; the life of the Perfect souls, Al insan Kamil. Their paths had paved the way for us, they have left signposts and bearings for all of us to find our own ways towards our own journey of liberation and salvation and all we need to do is ask the simple question and demand the truth...Who am I?
Before the final curtain, I demand to know the answer...who am I? What am I? Why am I? How can I? No matter how good or bad life has been to you let not go this demand like it is all that matters in your entire existence, like it is a burning ball of fire sitting in your guts burning a hole in you demanding to be answered. This is your 'Koan', Rich or poor great or insignificant you deserve to know the truth about your true nature and not settle for anything less than the truth. ..and the Truth shall set you free...Jesus said.
How dare you die in vain!!
I have randomly picked out a few views and perceptions with regard to the subjects that I have questioned such as ,what is Nirvana and so forth, just to share a little better understanding from others who have made such matters their object of studies. Ultimately this what i have been alluding towards eventually with my past few entries. That is the end of all practices, the final countdown, the final cut, the end of the journey; what is it that I have been trying to achieve throughout my adult life. In the end there is nothing to attain, nothing to achieve, not- a- thing to become. At he end there is only emptiness -void - God. (Call it by whatever name you will according to your preference.) I Am No more.
Nihilistic views of life holds no such values in life and as such those who have live life with no knowledge of who or what they truly are in the scheme of things often ends up with despair in the end. Life becomes meaningless and there is no light at the end of the tunnel after the long and dark journey of suffering. Most of humanity lives in this delusional state of existence and not even aware of it, just like sleep walking, stumbling along falling and picking themselves back up along the way till one day they drop and never rise again. It is a waste of time and space living out life no better than cattle herd destined for the butcher's block.
Thrill seekers we are most of us when we were young and we do whatever it takes to fill up the empty spaces in our lives in order to avoid being bored and lonely, to avoid not being recognized as the achiever, to avoid being accused as having live life in vain; yet in the end we find that all was for nothing. We grow old, loosing all that we have accumulated and watching all that we hold dear flowing down the drain before our eyes, seeing our reflections in the mirror as we loose one tooth after another and grow white hair where there used to be dark brown black hair and relinquishing all hope of ever being young again; all for nothing.
The mark of a great man is not in how long he had lived but in how well those years were lived. A life well live is worth the journey of a lifetime and what is left in its wake is worth emulating, worth reflecting upon, worth taking as a guidance in times of need, this was like the life of a Buddha, the life of the Prophet, the life of the Messiah, the life of the Great Rishis and Roshis, the life of the Sages and Sheiks of old; the life of the Perfect souls, Al insan Kamil. Their paths had paved the way for us, they have left signposts and bearings for all of us to find our own ways towards our own journey of liberation and salvation and all we need to do is ask the simple question and demand the truth...Who am I?
Before the final curtain, I demand to know the answer...who am I? What am I? Why am I? How can I? No matter how good or bad life has been to you let not go this demand like it is all that matters in your entire existence, like it is a burning ball of fire sitting in your guts burning a hole in you demanding to be answered. This is your 'Koan', Rich or poor great or insignificant you deserve to know the truth about your true nature and not settle for anything less than the truth. ..and the Truth shall set you free...Jesus said.
How dare you die in vain!!
Saturday, June 27, 2015
That which is Real.
"Within each of us, there is a silence, a silence as vast as the universe. And when we experience that silence, we remember who we are." -Ginilla Norris
To experience this silence that is within each and everyone of us would require moments of peace and quiet in and around us. I requires the discipline to sit and contemplate into an eventual state of meditative mind where one becomes totally absorbed into oneself and merging with all that is in and around us.Meditation is the key towards all mental absorption and the ability to bring one's mind to a stand still is no easy matter as the mind has its own agenda in making sure that it is never totally silenced at any given moment. The more we are reactive towards any given situation external or otherwise the more the mind attaches to the situation adding its own multi-dimensional perspective to the event making it more than it really is. One can never force to silence the mind as the harder we try to worse it becomes; the mind can only be silent on its own, by itself and when it does we have to be awake and aware it happening to take full advantage of what is there in the 'pause' that the mind is in.
This moment of temporary break, this moment of a pause in the mental stream of activities is when revelations, intuition or original ideas are manifested. It is imperative that we are absolutely present in these moments to receive the revelations and act spontaneously upon them manifesting their messages into reality. When a swordsman stands facing his opponent and his mind is completely silenced, his actions becomes spontaneous and unimpeded, he becomes invincible a 'mindless killing machine'. There is no hesitation in his action, as a matter of fact he is no more there to hesitate. The Artist in this state of mindless-ness will paint without any hesitation and his brush strokes will show this to an expert's eye revealing the originality of the act.
"There is no reality except the one contain within us..." -Herman Hesse.
What is this reality that is contained within us that Herman Hess is referring to in this quote? Nothing is real all reality is is relative to the perceive, the beholder, the observer, the witness and even then reality is no more real than a magician's illusion as science has proven that nothing in this universe exist as we perceive them to be, like tables and chairs are atoms and molecules. I am no scientist but I can accept what science says on this matter. Hence i know i do not exist as I think I do physically, that i am merely a group of atoms with same density of vibration that is slow enough to come together to form me and all that is around me. Our mind is conditioned to perceive otherwise and so we accept the world as it is a separate reality a reality that everyone of us abide by as 'Real'.
The wisdom of the ancient has long before science has foretold of our ignorance in perception of our so called reality. Hence the Buddha for one has pointed out the fact that this world we are living is Maya or illusion. For so long as we exist in this form of illusion our life is suffering we are trapped in a net of illusions like what is today popularly known as 'the matrix'. We are no more than a program that is existing according to what is created for our existence; we exist like rats in a maze. To free ourselves from this maze we have to break free of the mold, that which imprison our consciousness to believe that we are in fact existing in 'Reality'. We have to tear away the veils that is hiding our consciousness from seeing what truly is. We have to detach our mind from the preconditioned state of consciousness and see with our heart our true nature in relation to what is being thought out for us. The world as it is is the product of collective thoughts that has since the beginning been projecting itself into a reality that is governed by fear and self preservation ultimately that of the ego. Th ego creates its own reality such a one that does not threaten its very existence as a form of survival plan.
This is as being accepted by the religions or God worship as the free will, that which is afraid of loosing its own self control over the world. To have absolute free will is to be free from having to make any choices, unlike the dual thinking mind. Absolute free will is subject to no claims of right or wrong, good or bad; it is free or attachment, free of concepts and perceptions; it is the enlightened mind. It is the reality that is within all of us before we were even conceived by our parents. Call it the Divine Spark or the Original Buddha Nature, call it the Atman or the Roh Kudus.(Divine Spirit.) This is you, this is me this is all of us when we are free of the 'Matrix' or the maze that is mind created out of fear that spawn the hydra of Greed, Hate and Ignorance as its armor for self preservation.
"Oh, and why not take a chance on faith as well, take a chance on faith, not religion, but faith. Not hope but faith. I don't believe in hope. Hope is a beggar. Hope walks through a fire and faith leaps over it. - Jim Carrey.
Just about every religion professes faith or iman when it comes to spirituality in man. Having faith keeps us from loosing that position we hold to be true in our standing in this life. The Buddha calls it our Dharma position, that from which we take on life without wavering in our commitment to who we truly are. It is that with which we worship our Lord holding to to it no matter what challenges are being placed in our path to make us deviate from the Lord's Grace or Mercy. Having an unshakable faith in the teachings of the Buddha is one way to overcome all the hindrances that man is faced with in this life of illusions. Holding steadfastly to the words of the Koran and the teachings of the Prophet (Bless unto Him) will deliver us from the corruptions of this existence and deliver us home to our true home in the hereafter.
Faith cannot be forced upon anyone and it is free from any doubts whatsoever for it to be potent.
" A man of courage, is also full of faith." - Marcus Tullius Cicero.
To experience this silence that is within each and everyone of us would require moments of peace and quiet in and around us. I requires the discipline to sit and contemplate into an eventual state of meditative mind where one becomes totally absorbed into oneself and merging with all that is in and around us.Meditation is the key towards all mental absorption and the ability to bring one's mind to a stand still is no easy matter as the mind has its own agenda in making sure that it is never totally silenced at any given moment. The more we are reactive towards any given situation external or otherwise the more the mind attaches to the situation adding its own multi-dimensional perspective to the event making it more than it really is. One can never force to silence the mind as the harder we try to worse it becomes; the mind can only be silent on its own, by itself and when it does we have to be awake and aware it happening to take full advantage of what is there in the 'pause' that the mind is in.
This moment of temporary break, this moment of a pause in the mental stream of activities is when revelations, intuition or original ideas are manifested. It is imperative that we are absolutely present in these moments to receive the revelations and act spontaneously upon them manifesting their messages into reality. When a swordsman stands facing his opponent and his mind is completely silenced, his actions becomes spontaneous and unimpeded, he becomes invincible a 'mindless killing machine'. There is no hesitation in his action, as a matter of fact he is no more there to hesitate. The Artist in this state of mindless-ness will paint without any hesitation and his brush strokes will show this to an expert's eye revealing the originality of the act.
"There is no reality except the one contain within us..." -Herman Hesse.
What is this reality that is contained within us that Herman Hess is referring to in this quote? Nothing is real all reality is is relative to the perceive, the beholder, the observer, the witness and even then reality is no more real than a magician's illusion as science has proven that nothing in this universe exist as we perceive them to be, like tables and chairs are atoms and molecules. I am no scientist but I can accept what science says on this matter. Hence i know i do not exist as I think I do physically, that i am merely a group of atoms with same density of vibration that is slow enough to come together to form me and all that is around me. Our mind is conditioned to perceive otherwise and so we accept the world as it is a separate reality a reality that everyone of us abide by as 'Real'.
The wisdom of the ancient has long before science has foretold of our ignorance in perception of our so called reality. Hence the Buddha for one has pointed out the fact that this world we are living is Maya or illusion. For so long as we exist in this form of illusion our life is suffering we are trapped in a net of illusions like what is today popularly known as 'the matrix'. We are no more than a program that is existing according to what is created for our existence; we exist like rats in a maze. To free ourselves from this maze we have to break free of the mold, that which imprison our consciousness to believe that we are in fact existing in 'Reality'. We have to tear away the veils that is hiding our consciousness from seeing what truly is. We have to detach our mind from the preconditioned state of consciousness and see with our heart our true nature in relation to what is being thought out for us. The world as it is is the product of collective thoughts that has since the beginning been projecting itself into a reality that is governed by fear and self preservation ultimately that of the ego. Th ego creates its own reality such a one that does not threaten its very existence as a form of survival plan.
This is as being accepted by the religions or God worship as the free will, that which is afraid of loosing its own self control over the world. To have absolute free will is to be free from having to make any choices, unlike the dual thinking mind. Absolute free will is subject to no claims of right or wrong, good or bad; it is free or attachment, free of concepts and perceptions; it is the enlightened mind. It is the reality that is within all of us before we were even conceived by our parents. Call it the Divine Spark or the Original Buddha Nature, call it the Atman or the Roh Kudus.(Divine Spirit.) This is you, this is me this is all of us when we are free of the 'Matrix' or the maze that is mind created out of fear that spawn the hydra of Greed, Hate and Ignorance as its armor for self preservation.
"Oh, and why not take a chance on faith as well, take a chance on faith, not religion, but faith. Not hope but faith. I don't believe in hope. Hope is a beggar. Hope walks through a fire and faith leaps over it. - Jim Carrey.
Just about every religion professes faith or iman when it comes to spirituality in man. Having faith keeps us from loosing that position we hold to be true in our standing in this life. The Buddha calls it our Dharma position, that from which we take on life without wavering in our commitment to who we truly are. It is that with which we worship our Lord holding to to it no matter what challenges are being placed in our path to make us deviate from the Lord's Grace or Mercy. Having an unshakable faith in the teachings of the Buddha is one way to overcome all the hindrances that man is faced with in this life of illusions. Holding steadfastly to the words of the Koran and the teachings of the Prophet (Bless unto Him) will deliver us from the corruptions of this existence and deliver us home to our true home in the hereafter.
Faith cannot be forced upon anyone and it is free from any doubts whatsoever for it to be potent.
" A man of courage, is also full of faith." - Marcus Tullius Cicero.
Greatness is Within.
"Greatness is Within" is written on the cover of the shoe box that supports the PC screen and I noticed it for the first time this morning. It is a good ad gimmick but it is also an eye opener fro one who lost in a limbo of non-doing, inactive mind, a mind in lethargic stupor non productive and wasteful. Yeah that is about how i am feeling right now and it is like a small miracle to stumble upon these words sitting right in front of me all these while but un-noticed. It is not that i have not looked within all these while, perhaps no deep enough or perhaps for the wrong reasons or i am merely escaping from looking externally as it has become too uncomfortable for my liking.
Again regardless if i am looking within or without, I am still trapped in this dual thinking mind, It is the worse kind of addiction this thought dominated state of mind. Incessant thinking, never ending and often unconnected meaningless thoughts that merely occupy th mind to simply distort any form of rational or logical ideas leaving me with more crumpled up images fit for the garbage bin. My meditation practice has become sporadic and lacking in seriousness or intensity and I find myself sleeping every chance i get and waking up with more guilt than restfulness. Hence meditation the one means towards how i can overcome my predicament is not working either which leaves me with reading and writing. In less than two weeks i am into the fourth novel of the four volume works by author Conn Iggulden entitled EMPEROR; a novel of Julius Caesar. The historical fiction of the life of one of the great names in European history has kept me occupied especially when I had walked the streets of Rome in modern times not too long ago.
I wish I can write some similar epic like this or such works like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter what an escape that would be, not in the negative sense but an escape that is productive from this realm of existence that is lacking and stagnant to my mind. Creating works of Art has become a struggle too at least for the time being as i find myself getting lazy to even begin and when I try thoughts of why I should gets in my way. I find little comfort in seeing that my works are reminders of how much time and effort i have wasted i the past that has left me today wanting financially. my talent was appreciated only when they served a purpose to the public like being a part of a show or entertainment. In Art i have become another roadside attraction, which would have been alright had it been able to keep me from becoming a beggar in this life. Today my works are hung on office and hotel walls, art galleries and small roadside stalls; I am wondering where my next income would materialize from during this month of Ramadan.
So, I am addicted to Face Book too! Like many I spend a great deal of my time browsing through what is pasted on fb offering my own two cents worth of opinion even when unsolicited just to be 'involved'. learn a thing or two about others friend and relatives who frequent this media. It is said that about five million fb users in the country, (Malaysia) are under 10 years of age. I try to share only positive and productive info unless I am making a political statement. In these days and age Children are no more ignorant of life as their forefathers were and thus it is inevitable that we treat them accordingly and not try to manipulate what we think they aught to be fed. In short if i am to spend my hours on fb I better learn how to spend it wisely; ideally for the benefit of other beings young and old and not just to entertain my ego.
Again regardless if i am looking within or without, I am still trapped in this dual thinking mind, It is the worse kind of addiction this thought dominated state of mind. Incessant thinking, never ending and often unconnected meaningless thoughts that merely occupy th mind to simply distort any form of rational or logical ideas leaving me with more crumpled up images fit for the garbage bin. My meditation practice has become sporadic and lacking in seriousness or intensity and I find myself sleeping every chance i get and waking up with more guilt than restfulness. Hence meditation the one means towards how i can overcome my predicament is not working either which leaves me with reading and writing. In less than two weeks i am into the fourth novel of the four volume works by author Conn Iggulden entitled EMPEROR; a novel of Julius Caesar. The historical fiction of the life of one of the great names in European history has kept me occupied especially when I had walked the streets of Rome in modern times not too long ago.
I wish I can write some similar epic like this or such works like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter what an escape that would be, not in the negative sense but an escape that is productive from this realm of existence that is lacking and stagnant to my mind. Creating works of Art has become a struggle too at least for the time being as i find myself getting lazy to even begin and when I try thoughts of why I should gets in my way. I find little comfort in seeing that my works are reminders of how much time and effort i have wasted i the past that has left me today wanting financially. my talent was appreciated only when they served a purpose to the public like being a part of a show or entertainment. In Art i have become another roadside attraction, which would have been alright had it been able to keep me from becoming a beggar in this life. Today my works are hung on office and hotel walls, art galleries and small roadside stalls; I am wondering where my next income would materialize from during this month of Ramadan.
So, I am addicted to Face Book too! Like many I spend a great deal of my time browsing through what is pasted on fb offering my own two cents worth of opinion even when unsolicited just to be 'involved'. learn a thing or two about others friend and relatives who frequent this media. It is said that about five million fb users in the country, (Malaysia) are under 10 years of age. I try to share only positive and productive info unless I am making a political statement. In these days and age Children are no more ignorant of life as their forefathers were and thus it is inevitable that we treat them accordingly and not try to manipulate what we think they aught to be fed. In short if i am to spend my hours on fb I better learn how to spend it wisely; ideally for the benefit of other beings young and old and not just to entertain my ego.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Saying farewell.
What is dissolution? How does one become disengaged from or find complete detachment from this life. How does one 'politely' bow out of the circle without causing any ripples that would disturb the order of the things or the Universe. This circle of Birth-death and rebirth (if one believe in reincarnation) or heaven or hell if one is a follower of the Judeo-Christian -Islamic religion. Can 'Liberation' form the bondage of life in this material realm be transcended while one is still in this physical form in short can one attain to Buddhahood in this present life. If not what is holding you back? Why do you have to live out your life and die not knowing what lies in the future or afterlife other than in faith over what has been taught by the religions and ancient texts and scriptures. How does one free this dual thinking mind, the mind that is trapped by the dichotomy of right and wrong, this or that?
I look inside my heart, and I look inside my soul and all I can come up with is the cessation of all that is and become empty of my own being or as a Muslim total and absolute surrender or submission to the 'Will' of my Lord. If I am a non believer or an atheist, a free thinker, where do i fit into in this whole scheme of life? Through my Blogging or this ramblings of the Cheeseburger Buddha i have myself time and again, over and over these same questions and have yet to be enlightened by an a complete and profound answer that can hold water for me. I am still sometimes lost in delusion and ignorance, wandering in limbo often in despair as more and more of what i see happening all around in this world that are shaking my foundation as a human being.
If asked what i really want in this life I too would say peace and not just peace for myself but Peace for Humanity for the Planet, the Universe as a whole. Today not only do i not find peace for myself, I find so much discord and chaos all over the planet that my status as a man has come into so much question that i am doubtful of who I am; I cannot find my Dharma position anymore. My faith in my Maker is so shaken sometimes that I am afraid I will become lost for good and so will my children and theirs after them. What will become of man when all faith and teachings are being abandoned and hypocrisy and corruption rules with greed, hate and ignorance? I have grown however to believe that somehow man will transcend his present state of being in the realm of darkness and find his way back into the light. How or by what methods or teachings is yet to be seen but if man were to survive with his sanity intact into the future, coherent and substantial mode of being has to be manifested whether religiously or scientifically, something that can drive man as a Collective whole into the next epoch.
A small part of me still hold the believe that in being able to come to fully understand who I am I will make a difference at least before I step out of this circle of life. Like the Buddha and all the Enlightened Beings of the past, I too can set free one or two of those who are ready from this bondage or the life of ignorance and suffering. However even i find myself entangled time and again in deep rooted Karma, I too am an unrepentant sinner far from an awakened being; how can I lead even one to take that final step beyond. For as long as I am still breathing I can keep chipping away a little at a time the crust of rust that has accumulated covering the very light within my heart. I can keep polishing the coal till it turns bright as diamond again and unleash its brightness to end all the darkness around me. But I realize that this will take lifetimes as the layers of accumulation is too thick and stubborn to be wiped off as easily.
Suffice to say, I will keep on trudging with greater determination and submit to the Divine consciousness within in the hope that by the grace of all Sentient being of the past present and future my effort will find some small recompense for those I have transgressed and a benefit for those who read my Blog.
I look inside my heart, and I look inside my soul and all I can come up with is the cessation of all that is and become empty of my own being or as a Muslim total and absolute surrender or submission to the 'Will' of my Lord. If I am a non believer or an atheist, a free thinker, where do i fit into in this whole scheme of life? Through my Blogging or this ramblings of the Cheeseburger Buddha i have myself time and again, over and over these same questions and have yet to be enlightened by an a complete and profound answer that can hold water for me. I am still sometimes lost in delusion and ignorance, wandering in limbo often in despair as more and more of what i see happening all around in this world that are shaking my foundation as a human being.
If asked what i really want in this life I too would say peace and not just peace for myself but Peace for Humanity for the Planet, the Universe as a whole. Today not only do i not find peace for myself, I find so much discord and chaos all over the planet that my status as a man has come into so much question that i am doubtful of who I am; I cannot find my Dharma position anymore. My faith in my Maker is so shaken sometimes that I am afraid I will become lost for good and so will my children and theirs after them. What will become of man when all faith and teachings are being abandoned and hypocrisy and corruption rules with greed, hate and ignorance? I have grown however to believe that somehow man will transcend his present state of being in the realm of darkness and find his way back into the light. How or by what methods or teachings is yet to be seen but if man were to survive with his sanity intact into the future, coherent and substantial mode of being has to be manifested whether religiously or scientifically, something that can drive man as a Collective whole into the next epoch.
A small part of me still hold the believe that in being able to come to fully understand who I am I will make a difference at least before I step out of this circle of life. Like the Buddha and all the Enlightened Beings of the past, I too can set free one or two of those who are ready from this bondage or the life of ignorance and suffering. However even i find myself entangled time and again in deep rooted Karma, I too am an unrepentant sinner far from an awakened being; how can I lead even one to take that final step beyond. For as long as I am still breathing I can keep chipping away a little at a time the crust of rust that has accumulated covering the very light within my heart. I can keep polishing the coal till it turns bright as diamond again and unleash its brightness to end all the darkness around me. But I realize that this will take lifetimes as the layers of accumulation is too thick and stubborn to be wiped off as easily.
Suffice to say, I will keep on trudging with greater determination and submit to the Divine consciousness within in the hope that by the grace of all Sentient being of the past present and future my effort will find some small recompense for those I have transgressed and a benefit for those who read my Blog.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Reflections in the Month of Ramadan.
For the first time in a long time I felt a strangely different feeling when I sometime early this morning and decided to sit in meditation as I have often done instead of going back to sleep. It is 5;10 AM according to the timer on the PC screen even as i am typing. What was really odd was the fact that as soon as Got comfortable and drifted into what i call alignment of my mind and body with the effort of a few breathing in and out, I realized that i was just a 'Bag of bones' as some Zen masters would have put it. I felt myself as held up by my skeleton and began to feel all my organs hanging from these various areas of bone structures. I was looking at my innards so to speak and a strange sensation flowed through me as i watched myself watching or experiencing this.
Off course i tried to hang on to this sensation for as long as I could and pretty soon getting back into my usual mode of getting my thoughts into it with all kings of excitement and trying to capture into words trying to explain yada! yada! just like I am doing right now and poof I am back to square one of attachment. The split second moment of my initial experience was worth all my years of sitting simple as it may seem. For the first time in a very long time I came to realize the emptiness of my being, so to speak; I am nothing more than a sack of skin and bones and my mind is what held it all together through manifesting feelings and sensations through my breath. I stopped having any control of my breathing, I stopped breathing allowing breath to happen and i felt my skeletal structure shifted
like my spine stretching upwards lifting my whole body into its vertical alignment,(this happens all the time when I sit though) but this morning I felt it happening as though of its own volition, it was a nice sensation.
Yes, how such a simple experience can be such a high and the first word that came to my mind was 'Happy'... I am Happy! I am happy and i could die! This was when Allah and the spiritual mind tales over as it has always done, like I need to anchor myself back into my relationship to the 'Source' or Higher Consciousness so that i do not grow attached to my self induced experience and become forgetful or arrogant; perhaps my fear of meeting my own true nature. This has always been happening in my meditation practice for as long as i can remember, like whenever i arrive at the feeling of being empty of my being, or as the Buddhist calls it Emptiness of Being (which i normally arrive at with not problem), the first thing that comes to my mind is the remembrance of 'God'. And in my case being a Muslim Allah comes to mind and i would pray thanking the All Mighty for allowing me to experience this 'state of bliss' even if it is for a moment in time no longer than the next breath that i took. As i said earlier perhaps I do it out of fear, the fear that i am in a 'void' and has no place to anchor myself or attach myself to while in this state of 'limbo'. I fear too that my being in this state places me in danger on my Being being possessed by negative energies or elements or spirits for lack of better words and so I place the 'Divine as my 'Shield' or veil while in this state of 'Emptiness'.
Yes, I realize that this is yet another form of clinging or holding on to or attachment as warned by the Buddha which hinders one from final liberation form this life or human existence, however as i often mention I am a Muslim and I fear God and His retribution in the after life for all my past sins which are yet to be redeemed. Call it yet another weakness or ignorance or call it playing it safe from lack of 'Right Understanding'. For a sinner like me God is never too far away and every breath i take as I get older He gets closer especially during this month of Ramadan.
Off course i tried to hang on to this sensation for as long as I could and pretty soon getting back into my usual mode of getting my thoughts into it with all kings of excitement and trying to capture into words trying to explain yada! yada! just like I am doing right now and poof I am back to square one of attachment. The split second moment of my initial experience was worth all my years of sitting simple as it may seem. For the first time in a very long time I came to realize the emptiness of my being, so to speak; I am nothing more than a sack of skin and bones and my mind is what held it all together through manifesting feelings and sensations through my breath. I stopped having any control of my breathing, I stopped breathing allowing breath to happen and i felt my skeletal structure shifted
like my spine stretching upwards lifting my whole body into its vertical alignment,(this happens all the time when I sit though) but this morning I felt it happening as though of its own volition, it was a nice sensation.
Yes, how such a simple experience can be such a high and the first word that came to my mind was 'Happy'... I am Happy! I am happy and i could die! This was when Allah and the spiritual mind tales over as it has always done, like I need to anchor myself back into my relationship to the 'Source' or Higher Consciousness so that i do not grow attached to my self induced experience and become forgetful or arrogant; perhaps my fear of meeting my own true nature. This has always been happening in my meditation practice for as long as i can remember, like whenever i arrive at the feeling of being empty of my being, or as the Buddhist calls it Emptiness of Being (which i normally arrive at with not problem), the first thing that comes to my mind is the remembrance of 'God'. And in my case being a Muslim Allah comes to mind and i would pray thanking the All Mighty for allowing me to experience this 'state of bliss' even if it is for a moment in time no longer than the next breath that i took. As i said earlier perhaps I do it out of fear, the fear that i am in a 'void' and has no place to anchor myself or attach myself to while in this state of 'limbo'. I fear too that my being in this state places me in danger on my Being being possessed by negative energies or elements or spirits for lack of better words and so I place the 'Divine as my 'Shield' or veil while in this state of 'Emptiness'.
Yes, I realize that this is yet another form of clinging or holding on to or attachment as warned by the Buddha which hinders one from final liberation form this life or human existence, however as i often mention I am a Muslim and I fear God and His retribution in the after life for all my past sins which are yet to be redeemed. Call it yet another weakness or ignorance or call it playing it safe from lack of 'Right Understanding'. For a sinner like me God is never too far away and every breath i take as I get older He gets closer especially during this month of Ramadan.
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| The Buddha is said to said; "Right and wrong is a sickness of your own mind." |
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