Looking at my health.

I think I have a good idea on what I have or might be the cause of my demise; I suffer from angina attacks plus high blood pressure which according to my reads on the medical journals on Internet might lead to kidney malfunctions and so forth. Not too bad at 65 going on 66 what can one expect and the way life is headed with all the crap that is messing up the planet and most countries and societies in general, perhaps it is a good time frame to say Asta La Vista. As Yoda the Jedi master would say, "Scared I am, but the force has been with me most of my life, if time to let go it is, the let go I must.."
I have been to the doctor and had my physical done but from my personal evaluation of my condition i must say I am not doing too good as even while typing right this moment i fell all the symptoms struggling to kick in. I could suffer a heart attack any time if I am not more cautious.Most importantly I have to learn to slow down in every activity I undertake henceforth and i have to respect my intake of the medication i have been prescribed by the doctor, (which I have not really). So in the effort of self preservation and in the effort to stay a little bit longer i will try to abide by the simple rules of the medical advice I have been given and the ones i am reading. I will meditate more on how to keep my calm and do less than I need to physically, have better control on my diet and most importantly have a good talk with my mind on what is going on; it looks like we are sleeping on the job.
Cause and effect, there has to be a cause for the projection towards you end of days on this plane before you can be transported tot he next level of existence and if you a whole of baggage in this life and are not willing to drop then off then you will need some extra time. However if you have learned to drop off your load as much as you can you are a lighter being and can travel a whole lot faster onward towards your next destination. meditation helps those who see life as merely time travel. There is only one episode after the next as you take one step after another and one breath after the next; you cannot take two breaths at the same time nor eat two mouthfuls in one gulp. Hence if you understand that you are merely a passing by entity on this plane of existence you will most probably try not to be weighed down too much by all the hooks and crooks that this life has to offer no matter how tempting; you learn to let go.
Words are useless without action to verify your claims to the truth of the matter that you are expressing and if your experiment in life is worth taking note of then it has to have a detail record to accompany such claims, otherwise you are merely writing poettries and singing ballads of a life you wish you had lived. I am writing my conclusion to my existence or so it seems and before i close this chapter i hope to make some sense of it all; to at least have some sense of understanding who I am or what was it all about? I must admit that on the hole, I could have done better but then it would mean having larger baggage to to get rid of for as it is i am merely inheriting what my grand father was and what my father was before me. I have only managed to cut off a negative habit or two in the process of my evolution like drinking and being a drug abuser, womanizing and gambling, I might say I am keeping myself relatively clean, sort of respecting my time and age getting set to take that one step beyond with the lightness of being or being a little more enlightened - less baggage.

I live on my own time.

Spent a day with my daughter selling my works at the Little Penang Street market lost Rm 50 in the efoort at the end of the day with a Rm30 ticket for my car parking space.  But despite it all had a good time.

 So, how does one turn a negative episode into a positive event? How not to dwell on the losses and thrive on the acts itself? Just have to keep reminding oneself these things so as not to fall into depression or even worse a sense of despair. Just observe and acknowledge and accept what is and act accordingly so as to make it all worth your time and experience...just another day and another dime worth of experience. While at it you are able to make one or two persons laugh or smile and meet up up with an old friend it is an added bonus...take note of that too. It is not all about making money and yes it would be nice if you do too.

Those two young ladies behind me asked to snap a shot, its worth being there already.

 I feel sometimes like it is my unspoken duty to expose myself and share my actions as an artist with the general public or the few fellow artists that I hang out with but I much rather keep pretty much to myself unless i am entertaining for specific reasons like family get together or an evening with friends. Perhaps it is the old age making me more and more a recluse. I find it much more rewarding to sit and contemplate, draw, paint and write if not reading one novel after another.

A friend from Oregon i think with the frizzy hair. 

 As you get older you become more and more choosy on how you get to spend your time and for me being with my children is a priority although i try to keep them being on their own as much as I can so they leran better to survive, fall and get back up on their own. I enjoy entertaining the younger generation whenever i get the chance to taking my pokes at them to jar them out of their minds like, Hey! peckerhead! I yell out, when are you getting married! What are you waiting for? or How come you are not fasting!! Then I would talk a little serious to them depending on what kind of mess they are into and so on.

I  will always find it hard to do nothing with my time.

I guess it is time to take another trip into the wild and perhaps do a fasting retreat all by myself. have dialogue with my Maker if i am lucky or perhaps find my soulmate. I know this crap about growing old is killing me.

The First Day.of Ramadan

The first day of the Fasting Month of Ramadhan and form today onwards life will take a whole new routine and the struggle begins to maintain one's self discipline and perhaps perform better at fasting than the previous years. I have my cousin brother whose performance has become my gauge and he is trying his best to get me to become a good Muslim or at least a performing Muslim, meaning that I abide by all the obligatory activity demanded by the Faith. I am sill at odds with this perhaps my faith has for so long been in doubt that like an addict i am prone to regression at the slightest influence or temptation. It is often to my embarrassment or guilt conscience that will trigger me to look deeper into the reason why I lack the will to just do what is expected of me as a Muslim.

Hence starting on today i will keep a close watch over how i perform and share this as openly as i can and hopefully it will reveal more my weaknesses or perhaps my strength as a 'Good Muslim'. I am not trying to say or convince anyone Muslim or otherwise  the religion is any better or worse than others , all i am doing is get deeper into seeing who I am and how seriously am i committed to my faith as a Muslim. I read an entry in the Face Book someone saying" Burn me in Hell if I worship because of the fear of Hell or something to this effect and i am of the same sentiment in this respect. It would be a lie to say that i am not afraid of Hell or what lies in the grave when I expire but I also am not totally sold of the idea that the after life will be all that dark and painful for all of us as God is not about hatred and revenge even if there are those that deserve such retributions. I see life as suffering for man already just as the Buddha saw it thousands of years ago and protested. There is an element of unfairness in being born into this world that man has no understanding of nor the capability to overcome unless the Buddha's Way is achieved till the end. However to attain to the Buddha's Way will take life times of existence it is said and in more than one way goes against the tenets of Islam. So what is left choice wise for us but to find ways and means like the Buddha did to find ways and means towards being liberated from this depressing state of being that we are in.
I Am Whole! I Am Perfect! Strong and Powerful!
I am Loving, Compassionate, Harmonious and Happy!
I can do what I will to do!
This the state of mind i have frequency myself  into through reminding myself time and again especially when i feel like the world is crushing on top of me. Perhaps i have not reminded myself often enough and allowed my mind to drift back into its slave mode, helpless and not in control. So back to the meditating mat and realignment of my thought projections. I have to detach from this present dead zone that I am in. I have of step out of it into a new dimension which is more positive and invigorating if not challenging. My approach has always been trying to turn a negative situation into a positive outcome and if I find no way of doing this at any given moment I choose to retreat or abstain myself from taking any form of action; some deem it as 'He's being lazy. Yes it is perhaps true and when I find myself in this state of mind I also find myself physically not at my best. As it is I am having a hard time keeping from breaking my fast as I get tremendous amount of sharp pains in my chest from gastric attacks. I feel weak and lethargic with no energy to even get out of bed sometimes. So I see these as symptoms that calls for some form of drastic change of pace, a shift in paradigm in how i correct my present state of being.

   

The un-examined life is not worth living - Socrates

They are hearing the sound of trumpets coming from the skies and they are mystified, scared and wondering if the old testaments about the heralding of the end of time is at hand. Tomorrow begins the Holy month of Ramadan the Fasting Month of the Muslim calendar, a whole month of physical, mental and spiritual torment or uplifting depending on who you are and where you are at as a Muslim, how far or how near are you to your Maker. For Malaysian Muslims it will be a good time for reflections over the whole year that has gone by and come to some sort of understanding as to what is really going on within and without. I look forward to a difficult time in all aspect as I have been having a whole lot of doubts throughout the year in trying to be a good Muslim or even a good man.
I have a bad case of gastritis and yesterday evening was the most bad attack that i had, I felt like i was being skewered through my chest with a thick rod and I felt like I was having a heart attack. It is not getting any better or so it seems and i am even scared to eat as i have no idea what to eat anymore. Mentally I feel like i am not living fully up to what i can in the creative and productive sense of being in existence. I have become less and less an extrovert and judge others more readily than normally would  I am more easily prone to getting attached to what is occurring out there and loosing touch with what is in here. In short mentally I have become less assured of who I am in the scheme of life. Lastly , spiritually I a at my lowest when it comes to keeping in contact with my Maker and even might be deemed as being estranged from Him. I pray less and I do not feel when I do.
And all these too will pass, no doubt and the Fasting Month will drag out a few of the skeletons from within the closet and set them free or create a few more if my determination runs weak.A part of me does not look forward to this Holy Month as I know I am not cut out for it, but a part of me looks forward to the time of discipline and self searching if not healing within and without. Either way I will do my best to persevere and fulfill the obligations to the best of my ability. I have sat he Seven Days Seshin when I was a Zen Student and in more than one way it had reshaped my thinking and I am more a believer toady than i have ever been in the past as a spiritual being in the ways of my Lord. And so before the trumpets picks up in it crescendo in the skies and before the Lord decides to close His book on the fate of this Planet i better invest a little more genuinely into my future in the next existence.    

What is Wrong with Us?

We live in times of uncertainty, times of turmoils unprecedented and in times of never ending amazement at our own self discoveries and accomplishments often beyond our projected endurance; we as a specie simply are an enigma.(: someone or something that is difficult to understand or explained). I realize many has uttered or written the same worn out lines to express their inner desperation if not for just sheer ability to release the anxiety that has been plaguing the soul all these while; what have become of us. How have we allowed ourselves to be torn so drastically that we hardly recognize ourselves anymore as human beings. The atrocities that some of us even as nations are capable of defies our own intelligence; what has become of man?
I keep yelling inward as well as outwardly, GREED, HATE AND DELUSIONS! The three illnesses that man if inflicted with but it seems more than this and I cannot put my fingers on what it is for the life of me. I do not have to venture too far to see chaos that is manifesting all around the world not only in the lives of man but in nature itself as earthquakes and volcanoes are reshaping the land and lives of those who are affected by them. Global warming is happening and it is no more a game of political bargaining by major countries in the effort to shift their responsibilities upon those who cannot afford to challenge the status quo. Slowly lands are sinking beneath the  sea and lives along the coastal areas are threatened but little if not anything is done to counter these natural disasters already happening and what will it take to open eyes and generate actions?
I can keep on rattling like a broken record forever till I die of boredom but it seems people like me are just barking at the moon and our numbers are increasing as the Internet has helped to open up venues for us to expose our pent up anxieties and concerns. As I am listening to Mark Knopfler, Sting, Phil Collins and Eric Clapton sing the song Money for nothing and Chicks for Free on the You Tube my mind is trying to untangle the tangle. Such is the nature of how far we have come as a specie and yet it is also through these miracle of miracles the Internet that we learn of how badly we have evolved. Collectively man has progressed just far as it has regressed for even as we touch the frontiers of space in our quest to expand our boundaries externally we have regressed into our darkest being internally; we have become the splintered soul.
I do not have to look far just browsing through what is transpiring here in this country is enough to scare me; perhaps i should learn to bury my head in the sand...

Malaysian gymnast Farah Ann Abdul Hadi was criticised for showing her “aurat” and the “shape of her vagina” in a leotard after winning a gold medal at the SEA Games. These criticisms infringe on her freedom of choice and such crude remarks are an assault of her modesty.
By Zakiah Koya  6/15/2015 2:00:00 PM
The Heat Online.

(Malay Mail Online) – The mountain guide who was assigned to the 10 tourists who stripped naked on Mount Kinabalu thought the group of foreigners was disrespectful and “arrogant” from the moment the expedition started, according to a British daily.

Four tourists — Canadian siblings Lindsey Petersen, 23 and Danielle Petersen, 22; Briton Eleanor Hawkins, 24; and Dutch national Dylan Snel, 23 — today pleaded guilty to their act and were sentenced to three days’ jail, fined RM5,000 each and ordered to be deported.

The four were charged under Section 294(a) of the Penal code for public indecency, an offence which is punishable by a maximum three months’ jail term or fine or both.

The other six are believed to have left the country.

(The Star) – Tan Sri Tony Fernandes (pic) has hit out at politicians for not putting the interests of the people first.

In a series of tweets, the AirAsia Group chief executive officer pondered if the country would ever have a political party which would put the people as priority.

“Government and opposition spend so much time on race and religion. Will there ever be a truly Malaysian party that puts people first?” he said in a tweet that was retweeted more than 500 times as of yesterday.

He described the present state of affairs as “strange times” for Malaysia, and voiced his disappointment at the lack of accountability.

“Good education, good hospitals, fair distribution of wealth, an economy that creates jobs, honest clean Government. Transparent leadership,” he said in another tweet, referring to his aspirations for Malaysia.

Malay Mail Online) – After a complete wipeout of the progressives by the clergy class in PAS’s elections two weeks ago, its deposed deputy president Mohamad Sabu, or popularly known as Mat Sabu, declared that Malaysia is now facing an ideological threat similar to that propounded by the terrorist group Islamic State (IS).

Speaking at a ceramah event here last night, Mat Sabu said the signs of rising Islamism have become more apparent today and this dangerous trend was reflected in the campaigns throughout the PAS election where any views that differed from those of the clergy class (ulama) were immediately labelled as un-Islamic.

“If we do not stop this then we shall see the arrival of the IS (ideology) into our country. We can already see this dangerous line of thinking in how they are labeling people,” Mat Sabu told the ceramah.

“Those with differing views are deemed as liberals, munafik (pretenders), jebon (derogatory term to describe traitors) and if we fail to contain this (line of thinking) then we will become like the middle east – which has been devastated by sectarian wars.”

Mat Sabu predicted should Malaysia become engulfed in sectarian violence, it would take decades for the country to recover much similar to the war-torn Arab nations.

We are not here to underwrite your stupidity. If you find that you’re intelligently challenged for the job, I think we are more than happy to sack you and spare you all the anguish.” 

It has not been a good year for Malaysians in general. Consumer prices in Malaysia rose 1.8% year-on-year in April, up from 0.9% in March. The increase is largely due to the implementation of GST on April 1 this year.

The government has already begun its subsidy rationalisation programme last year that saw a removal of petrol subsidy, which is replaced with a managed float mechanism that is adjusted monthly. Despite data showing a lower-than-forecasted inflation rate due to the falling oil prices, the man on the street continues to see increase in prices of goods. This is despite assurances that basic food items, medicine and education would be zero-rated. 

“Basically (the government is) asking for a mammoth demonstration. I can’t see any other way people will respond to it. The GST is already affecting the people since goods and services are being taxed at 6%, but this is 30%. For many motorists who commute daily, this is a heavy burden,” says Wong. By Raphael Wong 

6/15/2015 9:00:00 AM - The Heat OnIne.

Sharing a thought provoking article. for Peace.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

M.T. Keshe declares the end of war & the beginning of peace on earth

Mehran Tavakoli Keshe, Iranian-born nuclear engineer

On the twenty-first of May 2015, the Keshe Foundation in its weekly workshop announced the beginning of setting up the procedure for establishing the promised WORLD PEACE.

In this announcement, we explained that the process to achieve global peace will take shape in the coming months through the work of the Keshe Foundation and the release of further new knowledge through the teaching arm of the Foundation, during the daily live-streamed sessions from its Spaceship Institute in Trani, Italy.

In these teachings during the past months we have taught, and in the coming months we shall continue to teach new scientific criteria and systems that shall open the path for the process of using the new technology for establishing peace.

We shall teach step-by-step procedures that start and bring into action what it takes to achieve the ultimate goal of the Foundation, which is to facilitate and finally enforce World Peace through applications and implications of the use of new technology.

In this paper we are setting the roadmap to achieve this elusive peace amongst men through the collective effort of the citizens of this planet, without relying on any government or path of belief.

In this roadmap, we rely on the total collective efforts of the human race to develop and deliver the technological knowledge to the world public, which takes the need for governments out of the equation, eliminating the need for consent of the present controllers of the human souls.

We totally rely on the maturity of Mankind in understanding what has caused the problems of the past, and how it can be overcome.

In this cycle of the maturity of Man, we do not depend on any government or faith, but we take into account that Man has matured enough to take responsibility for his own destiny, to be living a correct life and conducting his affairs in line with living in peace amongst other creatures of God on this planet and in deep space.

Our roadmap is simple and clear; It has taken millions of years for Man to become such a destructive being, as man has seen solutions in everything, by destroying and ending processes, only for him to survive and rule his world, through acts like eating animals, killing fellow men, ending cultures, destroying races or paths of belief, and by this method he has enforced his myopic will on defeated entities.

Through the release of new knowledge we have shown that Man can cover every need of his existence without destroying other life or harming other souls, by using and understanding that all forces and energies of the universe are within his reach and command, if he gathers the knowledge and intelligence of how to harvest and use them to support others' well-being.

Thus with the release of this new universal science and technology we have been and are taking step by step  the essence of killing and destruction out of the RNA and DNA of the Man, that he does not need to teach his children the mistakes of the past, and hence, for the first time in the life of this creature of the universe, we can introduce the process of obtaining, without needing to resort to the destruction of any other being in the universe.

Even if Man does not stop this ethos of killing and destruction of the essence of this creation of the Earth, now that we are opening the doors of universal science and technology for the Man to travel into deep space and to join the universal community, Man will understand that unknowingly or knowingly he cannot take steps to destroy another being for food or by having false intentions in respect to other creatures of space, and their reaction to protect themselves from being consumed or destroyed, and that this action leads to annihilation of the Man in the open spans of the universe.

In our teachings, we have shown and taught how to make new elements and free plasma, which can release enough energy to be sufficient to produce new materials to satisfy the need for energy and material for man in space, we have shown how to produce energies which can lead to the creation of motion in space, without the destruction of other entities.

The pitfalls of killing have been apparent to Man, but he has not managed to find a way out of this ever-closed maze of need as a justification for the killings, thus now we need time and new procedures that will make man understand and take action, and put into effect the process of de-killing, as killing has been ingrained in his daily pattern of life for millions of years.

Thus now we guide Man in how to walk away from the habit of killing. Even though this shall not be easy, it needs perseverance and understanding, and a correct path of approach and conduct, and understanding of the working of the universe, and we are here to teach it all.

It is better to start with small steps at a time, that all men can understand and have time to think about the process of peace.

To this effect we are setting the following roadmap for the coming months, and if it fails we have our means to enforce the will of the majority of the race for peaceful co-existence amongst men and other creatures of the universe.

To start, we appoint one peace day per month, starting from June 2015, so that man starts making efforts and thinks about the alternative and correct path.

So it follows:

    The first day of peace is appointed to be the 21st of June 2015, and this day of peace will as well follow on the 21st of July and August.

    In September, October and November, there will be two days of peace a month, on the 21st and 22nd of each month.

    In December 2015 and January and February of 2016, we increase the days of peace to three days a month from the 21st to the 23rd.

    From 21st of March of 2016, we increase the days of peace to 7 days a month, from the 21st to the 27th of each month for the following three months.

    From 21st of June 2016, we increase the peace days to 14 days a month, again for three months.

    From 21st of September 2016, we increase the peace days to 21 days a month, for three months.

    By 21st of December 2016, we ask and shall enforce peace indefinitely as designated.

We expect to give time to the armies of the world to not even fire a single bullet during these days, not even for training purposes.

We expect to relay the plan for peace process to all sides of wars and conflicts, be it military, terrorist groups, or the opposite side of the same parties.

This process of achieving peace will be shared and delivered by all the members of the Keshe Foundation, its supporters and interested parties, by completing the first space star formation reactors and simultaneously creating the field forces to silence the guns around the world, as we showed this process on Christmas Day of 2014, by using three sets of star formations around the world, one in Germany, one in Canada, and one in Italy, simultaneously coordinated to stop a reactor operation in Italy, as was broadcasted live on the internet, to show our intention and will.

We are teaching this process by making and operating space reactors rapidly in our Spaceship Institute, live on the internet on a daily basis, and soon we will test the first series of these reactors and their effect on a chosen number of satellites, which shall be designated to us by the world military for testing, that we decommission them live on the internet, with world leaders monitoring the process.

Then, as we have mentioned, we will bring to halt the motion of military ships and military crafts, which will be allocated to the Foundation for testing the concept by their respective peace loving nations.

This way, we bring an end to the present unlimited expenditure on tools of war, which makes their present implication by the application of the new technology obsolete.

By this act, governments are released from ever spending money for tools of war, and so they can make these finances of war available for manufacturing the tools and systems for peace and for covering the essential needs of their citizens, like making shelter and food.

We are not confronting governments, but setting the scene to show that the current military and defense technologies are out of date, and that there is no need for their renewal or any further expenditure on arms.

We share our space technology with all nations and respectively, if the nations do not accept these tests of the show of the end of arms manufacturing and the end to conflicts, then members and supporters of the Foundation worldwide will choose a satellite for it to be taken out of commission, and we will inform the governments of the intention, to make sure the satellite is not in use during the decommissioning, using the spaceship technology of the Keshe Foundation.

With this gap of three months from 21st of June 2015 to September of 2015, we give governments themselves a chance to start the process of re-allocation of the works of military factories and arms producing companies to the production of new systems of the new technology for peace, so that jobs can be preserved.

With this roadmap, we call upon all Keshe Foundation supporters to allow all national leaders and spiritual leaders of your communities and as many citizens to be aware of our intention to start the peace process, starting from the 21st of June of 2015.

If within the first three months we do not see any movement with this process amongst the world leaders, we will begin the process of showing the power of the technology and our wish to start the process of peace, as one nation, one planet, and one Keshe Foundation family.

In this process of enforcing peace, we shall not harm anyone or any soul, we shall not cause any structural damage or any physical or financial losses to any nation. But we will stop warships on the high seas, and decommission fighter planes of all nations on the runways, we will erase the memory of so-called men of arms, that they shall not remember why they are carrying arms and what they were fighting for.

This time around, there shall be no punishment for anyone, but only progressive development and release of more technologies to be available, that the old ways become obsolete.

In this manner, more and more new knowledge, science and technologies shall be released into the public domain through daily teachings at the Spaceship Institute, that these actions force the disarmament and the unity of Man, and the end to all wars.

These advancements in technology as has been shown are in:

    CO2 capture

    Health systems

    The star formation systems for creation of lift and motion

    Production of water units

    Creation of low power through the use of Gans and nano-layers.

We welcome everyone to support this move, and if need be we shall show Man that out of fear of loss he shall agree and connect and erase the ethos of war from the memory bank of his brain.

We have the technology to do this, we have shown its work over the past ten years, now we are ready to use it to start the process of the roadmap for achieving peace.

We invite political and religious leaders to join us to achieve this goal, because if we take this step, then there is no need for either, as they have failed the Man in the past.

I am resolute as the Founder of the Keshe Foundation to see this process through, as shown in the past we let governments be divided between peace and war, and now we let the citizens of the planet take their future in their own hands, and let them take their position in the universal community as peace-loving creatures, by changing their old ethos.

With this process, we will bring an end to the old system of section leadership as presidents and kings, and we will bring and end to the religious structure to abuse.

I have put an end to the process of religion and religious abuse in the name of God, and I have abolished the process of using the name of God to abuse and force abuse of the Man.

With this roadmap of peace, I declare the new cycle for the Men of the Earth, and with this cycle of peace, with trust in one's soul and action, that the new promise of unity becomes reality, as I have the knowledge and elements of the universe at my disposal, to bring the peace to this planet in my time.

I accept no deviation and no negotiation, but only the path which has been set above.

The change has to come from within, because if I force it, then it will be harsh and unbearable for every man.

I call upon the world leaders with this open letter to start the talks for the universal disarmament of all armies, and I give assurance that I shall see that no man will harm others, if need be.

I take no position in this process, except the monitoring of the process for Man to achieve this peace through correct transition.

I have all that the universe has to offer at my disposal, to bring about the change, but it is in the hand of the Man to start the process, so that I can assist.

In My Name I will act, and In My Name I shall succeed, if needs be, single-handedly.

My aim to achieve peace in the appointed time is my wish and my command, and shall not be diverted from.

I call for all men of peace to come together to see the beginning of the most beautiful time for Man, on this broken wing of this endangered bird called Earth, flying through the space of the universe.

IN MY NAME
(even though some would like to call it the Messiah)
27.5.2015

Adapted from Magick River Face Book Entry.

A Short visit to Kuala Terengganu.

Picture in the Moonlight
I took a short trip to Kuala Terengganu to attend my friend's son's wedding and as usual drove alone in my Kancil through the night as I had done eight times before making this trip the 9th. The reason I am telling this is because for those who are not familiar, the Kancil is the about the smallest car created by Perodua the local car manufacturer and for one to it across the country from West to the east Coast is not something one brags about especially when the trip is done at night. The stretch of road between the small town of Grik on the West Coast and that of Jeli on the Eastern side is a deserted stretch frequent by elephants and even tigers crossing at night and it crosses the Central mountain range of the Titiwangsa the spine of the Malay Peninsular.

Sunset over the South China Sea -1

By perhaps sheer luck i made it without too much hassle but this time the little car did gave me some rpoblem like runnig dead in the middle of nowhere whenever i slowed down and then after sitting for while and getting it started again i could continue driving on for a few kilometers before the same thing would happen again and this started happening when i was already in Kelantan on the East Coast. The worry i had was to be caught in the early morning traffic with the car going dead on me everytime i arrive at the traffic light wiht tis horror in mind i drove non stop all the way to Kuala Terengganu arriving before the nation was awaken.

Sunset over the South China Sea 2

I met and accomplished my mission to attend the wedding as promised and payed my respects to my siblings while putting up at my nephew's home the bakery shop where I was given a warm welcome and grand hospitality as a visiting grandpa which I enjoyed.

My niece and her youngest child Sumayah who kept me occupied with genuine Love.

A Zen Buddhist Koan, Who is it the carries this Corpse around? Who drove alone all the way from the West to the East Coast to fulfill a promise or to stay in touch or to make the connections? When i drove and every time i am driving for a long distance I assume the sitting meditation. I became one with the road even when in the darkness only feeling the tyres touching the surface of the road as i sometimes drove in total blindness through dark patches or the fog which often occurs as i drove towards the small town of Jeli after cruising down from the highest peak of the Titiwangsa. I left my trust in the car to carry me through these circumstances which to most would be considered an unnecessary risk or even total madness if not suicidal..

Moon rising over the South China Sea 1

I often felt relief and rewarded every time I made it to Kuala Terengganu and often arriving when the call for the 'Subuh or morning prayer is heard over the morning air. It often felt like finding my way home to be among loved ones and friends who i have left now and again to wander the land like a nomad. But the nostalgia of being in Terengganu never lasted any longer tha one week or so and then I would be itching to leave the State and i am beginning to feel like I am being cursed never to settle down there.

Moon rising over the South China sea 2

Be as it may I will always enjoy my visits to my family and friends on the East Coast would most probably keep on taking my chances driving alone through the night over the hills and mountains that lined separating the East and West Coast of the Malay Peninsular while enjoying my driving meditation with my windows down feeling the night breeze. One of the reasons why I enjoy night driving is because it is a whole lot cooler and i don't need to use the air conditioning and also there is often hardly any traffic on the road as soon as you hit the stretch that leads across the mountain range. I have driven often enough back and forth that i can almost read the road in the dark recognizing every turns and corners.  

Hashim arriving from his trip to Pulau Kapas 

I fell asleep while waiting for my friend Hashim to return from his trip to Pulau Kapas on his sailing boat and one of the reason being that i wanted to catch him as he approaches to tie off the boat and I almost missed the chance had i not awaken in the nick of time. I fell asleep on a dilapidated sofa while being cooled off by the nice gentle breeze from the river. The small hut i was in was built on a pontoon and thus the rocking motion added to the comfort of a great nap on a hot day afternoon. I never fail to visit Pulau Duyung whenever I was back in Kuala Terengganu.

The pontoon that leads to dry land.

Pokok Nipah or the Nipah tree is found in the coastal tidal areas where salt water meets with fresh water and it grows rapidly transforming the landscape in a very short time It is part of the mangrove swamp vegetation and its most vital product is the young shoot or leaves that is collected for the making of the local smoking roll 'paper' the Rokok Daun which is today becoming more and more popular as the price of regular cigarettes is becoming too expensive for the bad habit.of smoking.

Nypa fruticans, commonly known as the nipa palm, is a species of palm native to the coastlines and estuarine habitats of the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It is the only palm considered adapted to the mangrove biome. This species is the only member of the genus Nypa and the subfamily Nypoideae, forming monotypic taxa.^[2]

Looking closer at my 'sick mind'.

The World is at my finger tips

My mind seems to have hit a high wall and everything seems to happen like without any sense of my being in the pilot seat. Hence why I have been avoiding writing in my blog as most of what has been happening seems unimportant or irrelevant to be repeated in the form of writing. I have been going through a period of uncertainty again like i have always been throughout my life off and on and i have been having a hard time getting back into the spiritual mode of handling things. .

Technology rules!
I had just iwped out a whole paragraph after trying to change the size to the font which is too small for my liking and this kind of crap seems to happen more and more like this morning my car decided to not start and i had to sweat it out trying to get it to run. After I realized that it was flooded and got it to run I drove to the mechanic to actually pay him for what i owe from my past repair but he was not around and told me to wait for his return. When asked for how long must i wait I was told to drive as is and come back when he is around, so he missed my payment too not knowing it.

The time spent on the phone and I pads is phenomenal .
So whats the catch? is there a silver lining behind this stretch of dark clouds/? Perhaps there is and it is yet to be seen. I have been fully aware of what is transpiring, it is not that  I have allowed for it to carry on without any care, allowing myself to be shove here and there like at the mercy of some Voodoo queen. No, I have been pitching my energy against all odds for whatever it is worth and taking measures whenever and where ever i could, like talking man to car with my automobile and surprising myself that it worked.  

My friend Mohd. Rafi has recently discovered the Face Book on the Internet.

I still sit. Not as regular and or regimented as I used to bu i sit and now i sit  with greater ease or so it seems. I have made some progress in being able to redirect my mind from passing by tits and asses and i have better control of my mind from wandering into others' conversations and things in the Internet that has no value or significant to my well being. Yes I am still stuck in the rut of having to ease myself every now and then while watching Japanese Housewives scrub the floors on their hands and knees (on You Tube), but that too has become less often and far in between. It is not easy to heal a sick mind and after all these years I am still nowhere near becoming a sane human being. 

Reflections on my mind.

I am making the entry from my friend Mohammad Rafis Lap Top while being eaten alive by mosquitoes and to the smell of bird poop. It is hot and humid here and has been no rain for quite  awhile; The east Coast is going through a dry spell. Tajol, Rafi's son was married yesterday and all went well and well attended by more than expected. I spent most of the day with Rafi's brothers from Penang. A cab driver and a fisherman and we talked about the fate of the Malays in Penang. We all agree that the present State government ruled by the DAP has done a good job so far an d pretty to the Malays plight. Without the Malays Penang would no more be Penang it will be like loosing a National Heritage of a State in terms of its local population, not to mention Culture and religion; Penang will be just another Singapore or even Hong Kong. Nothing wrong in itself except that they lack the character; what makes Penang.
Malays owe it to themselves to survive the change is rapidly overtaking them economic as well as socially.or they will be marginalized there is no blame on the Chinese as they are victims of their own doing through their politicians and government representative in the past  and perhaps is still ongoing.The have been let down badly by the people they elected. These very individuals sold them to the mercy of the Chinese. Most Malay enclave or what used to be Kampongs are now being bought off and developed with expensive housing that the Malays could never afford to own. Like is happening all over the world, the weak and ill represented minority will suffer. The Indian Muslim community is one hope that the Malays have to help ease the onslaught of the predominant Chinese plan for the future of the Island.
Tensions are flaring among the  different races over  Rfai's brother the cab driver told stories of fights and fatal shootings  but it is still not in the crucial stage.Penang is getting cleaner than it used to be Kudos to the MPPPP and the State Government, but the rivers are still in need of attention. The pubic has to be made aware of the need to "Heal the Rivers." As more and more housing is being developed more effluents of mixed chemicals and detergent will find its way to the rivers. Motor oil is the number one polluter that does irreparable damage to the rivers Eco system.The improper discharge of waste oil i no matter how small an amount will find it way to the river through rainfall. Transport depots such as bus terminals where engine wash and maintenance is being carried out waster water has to be monitored for proper discharge.
We talked of what is going on with the political situation and the latest financial scandals and we all came to agree that it has become tiring to even try to figure out what is happening.
Tomorrow petrol will cost ten cents more someone just informed my friend Rafi on his hand phone and he just shrugged his shoulders and continued to roll his 'rokok daun'. Then he looked at me and said'"Now shit is really going to hit the fence! Will it? How bad can it get in this country? There is not going to be a revolution for sure as it is not in the blood of the people to rise in violent protest against the injustices that is being levied upon them by the ruling powers. Malaysians are a cowardly bunch when push comes to shove and most of us are comfortably numb living the way we are. Being one if the most corrupted nation o=earth has become a symbol of pride.
Never in the history of this nation has it been dragged down by so much discord and lack of direction. The nation is in a state of disillusionment and the people are caught between the devil and the deep with no way out. It is beginning to feel like we are living in a pressure cooker.and the steam is rushing out out with a very loud whistle but no one is hearing it. The former Prime Minister Tun M. has been taking up arms against the ruling party calling for a change in the government demanding that the prime minister step down and be held for accountability to the economic bungles that has caused so much strain on the nation's purse. However so far nothing has really happen that would send any clear message as to any form of change is in the making anywhere in the near future; we are still comfortably numb. The truth of the matter has not hit us hard yet like it did Greece not too long ago; an economic meltdown.
However all these are just shades of life happening elsewhere far from this backwoods state of Terengganu and appears here in the form of mere coffee shop and time passing discussions among friends for lack of better things to talk about. There is a lack of passion for what is going on in and around the country and most of these people are why the price of fish is high and when or how they can rouse from their stupor is any one's guess but awaken they must be made soon in time.