One for the road.

At  the very edge of the precipes I stood wondering if there is any more questions that need be answered or anymore unfinished business that needs to be completed; should I or should I not take this one last leap of faith into the unknown. I have traveled this road in many guises, of a father, a brother, a friend, a lover, an artist, a writer, a singer and a host of many other personas that had adopted along the way, and often I would arrive at yet another gateway that stands before me beckoning me to enter. I feel like I am standing before a Tori Gate in the Japanese mountain village about to enter into the sacred while leaving the mundane behind me. I have always wanted to make one final journey as an artist traveler before I call it quits, I would like to visit Myanmar or Burma as it used to be called. This is one country that has intrigued me, it is one of those countries that would to me be a challenge to visit in more than one way. Spiritually it is a predominantly Theravada Buddhist country and social and culturally it is quite a mystery yet as it has not really been exposed to the west as much as other Asean countries has been. If possible I would like to do a short practice period of  a Vipassana retreat at one of the monasteries there.

Oh well , I can dream and envision myself being on the road again, but whether my health and my financial status can make it happen is a matter of contention.  Today travelling without money or proper credentials is not healthy especially to countries that is still in a state of emerging from long periods of restlessness and under developed. In the late sixties my third oldest brother was sent to live in Burma as a ward to the drug lord there. My brother Gina as we used to call him was a drug dealer and one of the most wanted criminal in Penang. He was adopted and raised by the Chinese and in his young adult life became their drug dealer and loan shark collector; he was most feared by the criminal underworld or so i    was told. My brother who died some years back told me of his trip to Burma to escape from the law and how he was adopted by the drug lord Khun Sa a Shan tribal warlord who later became one of the most  feared drug trafficker in what was known as the Golden Triangle. Perhaps my late elder brother made up all these stories to brag about his exploits as a tough guy growing up among the Chinese secret societies and drug syndicates. I believe most of his stories as i was witness to a few of what happened to him in his later years and met a friend  or two of his that validated my brother's claims. I met a few Chinese who shuddered at the mention of his name  and who treated me with care and respect even though I was young then while looking for my brother. One of the things Gina had told me back then was that I should one day go to Myanmar for a visit, it is a beautiful country, however this was way back in the sixties.

So here I am, should I or should i not make this one final trip to find out? I am not as keen about visiting the holy land or going to India and visit all the ancient temples as much as i would like to catch the final glimpse of the jungles and rivers of Myanmar and savor the culture and religion of the land. As I stand on the precepes and looking into the future at this point in my life i feel like I have yet some strength and breath left to make this one final journey, as they say, one for the road.