Sermon on the sofa.

So, what is the most elusive question in life? Who am I, or what am I? Am I this body or this mind? In Buddhism, the question is what is your original Buddha Nature? That which Is before you were, ever. Silly question to most but a lifelong Koan or Mondo for the 'seekers'. The seekers or 'Truth', the student of spirituality, the Way seeking Mind, the adepts, well all those who live life beyond eat, sleep, shit and work and then die. Do not become a McDonald's or KFC chicken in life, become the live chicken at the very least, feathers and all running wild and free around the village like an Ayam kampung, (village chicken) or better yet ayam hutan or wild fowl.
Letting go of the concept of life as being fed to you or injected into your consciousness from the very beginning is never easy and will get harder as you grow old. Letting go of fear itself is the key towards self liberation. The fear of truly meeting who you are on this path towards will hold you in bondage and keep you from being free of delusions. The delusions that has been fed or injected into you by your parents, your education, the society and humanity itself from the day your were born till the day you die. To die in vain is to die without truly being liberated from the very delusion that has been keeping you trapped in this life all along like living in a dream. To be awaken from this dream is to die each and every moment from this life of Maya or delusion, life of the dual thinking mind, life of the material and egotistical tendencies, life of self serving governed by greed, hate and delusion. To be awaken is to remain an observer throughout your lifelong existence and not become what is being observed, to become the creator and not be created, the manifestor not the manifested.
There is Grace within each and every one of us, there is Love and Happiness already inherent in us, look no further than who you are and find it now not tomorrow of the day after. Look for it not out there from somewhere, in here where it originates, where your divine nature resides. Cease from giving yourself excuses and remove doubts and grab a hold of the reality of your own infinite conscious nature, that which is consciousness itself for you are That, which Is and That which has always been, the unchanging, impeccable Buddha Nature, the Atma Brahman, the Holy Spirit, that which is unborn and deathless;Ruhul Kudus. 
May you realize the power of being the master of your own destiny/
Peace be with you.

What is Body and mind but vehicles fort the Path.

The physical body will no doubt feel the creeping effect of aging this is a fact of life that we cannot deny, however we do not get old at the same rate as some will age faster than others. Why? If a runner runs for miles and miles every time he sets out to run it is not the body that gives in first towards giving up, it is the mind. The body will endure for as long as the mind tells it that it is still doing fine and to keep on running but once the mind decides enough is enough, the body will slow down and eventually give up running. hence the same is true with the whole process of aging, the physical body will remain young and healthy for so long as the mind is young and healthy. it does not take an Einstein to figure this out. The human mind is a very complex and in lay man's term very tricky and slippery like an eel, it can turn the worse into the best and vice versa at the drop of a hat. The role consciousness and awareness plays in this factor is crucial as the mind is in need of constant monitoring and it is only under direct and constant scrutiny that the mind can be of benefit to the body's well being.
Talk to your brain cells and demand that it functions accordingly or better yet address the very molecules of atoms that makes up this body and make sure that all is well from the very basic of the building block, that all is in balance and functioning at the maximum output for the well being of the whole. Until you have learned to communicate with the most fundamental structure of your building block you cannot have a good control over the rest of your form and structure. The knowledge on how to go about doing this is available in abundance from all the various teachings of the ancient as well as modern schools and religions and again with the blessing of the Internet it is available almost at your finger tips. Again, 'Ask and ye shall be given', ask the right questions. demand the right answers. If you can spend 99% of your time talking to yourself why not make it worthwhile and beneficial, talk to your brain cells, you blood cells, your vital organs, your bones and muscles, give instructions and let it be known that you are aware and conscious of their workings. When you feel off the alignment like being excessively tired or fatigued, reason out why and see what is not in accordance, to hot or too cold, too much wind or too much of the earth element; the elements that makes up your body is again most basic. Earth, wind fire and water and the life force or energy that generates all these together. If one is out of sync the others will be affected; be aware.
Awareness of the mind and body synchronicity is the basic healing process for the well being of the human form and it is also the building block that helps to regulate and maintain a healthy mind and body prolonging the the sustainability of these vehicles of our existence. Aging takes place when these are not well cared for or negelected a whole lot faster than otherwise. Yes, we cannot stay  forever young and healthy but we can surely make it an effort to make it last longer. Couples with this awareness is the rest of the health  practices that goes with like well balanced diet and exercises and so forth which goes without having to be told. A vehicle left abandoned will naturally end up in a junkyard a whole lot sooner that one that is well looked after. The human from is a gift like none other for as the Buddha is said to have said, "IN this human form is the means for liberation, Don't waste time."   
Have a Good Day! 
  

Expand your horizon to learn the truth.

The following morning upon waking up I was free from the pains of the night before, a small miracle? Perhaps but I am thankful for having no more teeth aching or a migraine headache. Perhaps I was too impatient in expecting and immediate cure when I made my last entry, giving up too easy or having no faith my practice of self healing. The following days the pains came and went but not as strong as it was before. I still carry on my meditation and yoga exercises as these have become my routine every morning an it has helped my see myself through the day. Keeping myself busy other than making sure my daughter gets her breakfast and take away meal, I also clean the house, feed the cat, do the laundry and off course browse the Internet for the latest in news. I have yet to garner my energy to paint as it seem like my creative juices have run dry or perhaps I find no more joy in being creative where art is concern, why? Who knows.  
I find it to slowly become a part of decadence process in my aging process as I approach seventy to loose the enthusiasm in doing things that are not having great impact in my life anymore. Art has become stale for me as I find no incentive for it and to motivate myself at a cost financially in terms of getting materials is more of a luxury that i cannot afford. Am I getting lazy in my old age? Perhaps, but hen again if I have the mans and the freedom toI would be out there on the organic farm busting my buns and sweating it out for no financial gain except that it is good for my physical and mental health. I rarely leave the apartment these days as it cot to drive what with the fuel price rising just about every other day and driving in and around the city is no more fun 
especially in having to find a peaking space everywhere you go. So I settle for staying home and get use to becoming a homemaker like I used to do when I was living and raising my children in California and later for three years in Sendai, Japan. There is benefits to this too no doubt as i find the peace and quiet rewarding for my inner journey and my mental upgrading. 
It is not that I do not wish to travel around like i used to anymore, it is just that circumstances is not conducive for me to leave anytime I wish. Furthermore, the world for me is no more fun to go galavanting around especially when you have to run through the gauntlet at the airport every time you arrive in a foreign country. So I will bow out and let the younger generation do their share of travelling and I hope more and more do so. One of the ways they will learn about themselves is to see how others live. it is hoped that they will cultivate in themselves a better understanding and tolerant of what is out there in relation to what is within themselves. To understand the qualities of life one has to inevitably expand one's consciousness about living and by living in a protected, familiar environment of one's home, village and cities alone does not encourage for a broader understanding of what it is like to be rich or poor, to be loving and compassionate, to be caring and understanding of another's life regardless of color or creed.  

A Trip to the dentist is in the books.

 I woke up sometime at 2am with a splitting headache and my mouth full of burning sensation like all my teeth were on fire; such is. So i sat in meditation, stubbornly telling myself nope, no pain killers and what I was experiencing was some uncomfortable sensation due to imbalances in my physical form. Too much heat most likely and the decay that is taking place in my mouth affecting the nerves in my gums; pain, yes lots of pain!! So like a stubborn Zen master i sat and watched with every breath all the sensations moving throughout my body including the left over muscle aches from my rigorous work at the farm. Through slow and deep breathing I allow my body to settle down muscle for muscle nerve for nerve until I came to the most painful part where the excruciating pain was emanating that being my lower jaw area where a solitary tooth stands perhaps rotting away at its root and highly sensitive to the slightest touch by the tongue. Here i kept breathing into the whole area absorbing the pain and becoming familiar with the sensation. It came to a point where i was watching this detached from the pain itself, like I had stood apart from the sensation and simply became an observer, a pleasant feeling actually for the short duration.
When most of the painful sensation had subsided I felt a sense of sadness swept over me and i watched this for a while until it too subsided and i got up and started making this entry. This temporary respite has allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings as i am doing it now while listening to Hans Zimmer's theme music of the "Last Samurai." I have merely laid aside my teeth and most probably my gums aching to make this entry for what? Who knows and who cares. Physical pain is something you cannot share with others, it is reserved fro you and you alone, hence stop complaining and sit and watch it like how you watch your mind. Questions rises, like, what is pain and if the brain controls the body why can't it control pain or the decay that has been taking place for that matter. If, "I am the master of my body. speech and mind," why am I unable to make things right, like reverse the process of decay into rejuvenate or recharge or realign all the elements in this body to find a cure for what ails me. Yes, it is a tall order for a half baked Yogi but after years of having faith and belief in these techniques of meditation and autosuggestion, I would think that I can at least find some comfort in being able to heal myself. No such luck, the pain is still lingering in my jaw although the migraine is gone. 
I have stopped blaming God for my shortcomings a long time ago but I do pray in my heart and mind that by His Grace I am not totally at the mercy of these physical discomforts and that if there is in some small way that He can help me alleviate myself from this state i really would be grateful. It sometimes works but not all the time and i figure perhaps I deserve it or it is meant for yet more awakening on my part for being stubborn and refusing to pray five times a day like all the rest of my fellow good Muslims, or go visit a dentist. 



  
    

Another Random Rambling....

 When I get the feeling that I am not in touch with reality as it is i sit and i remind myself that;-
I am whole, perfect, strong and powerful,
Loving , Compassionate Harmonious and Happy and
I cna do, what I will to do...so help me Lord.
Yes and this has been my mantra and will always come to mind whenever the mind becomes lazy, in stupor or too lackadaisical . It is a useless effort or so it seems as the mind is much more tricky than it seems and has its own ways and means to defeat every effort to bring it under positive state of consciousness, like being creative or productive. Even my writing this thoughts down time and again is an effort towards reminding myself of this  dilemma, but it is still a reminder of who is the observer and what is being observed. 
" I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness," as the Raja Yoga stated and this too has been my reminder when dealing with my mind, however my thoughts and consciousness have their own rules and ways which often deviates from my practice of affirmation. Again the question arises, who am I? Am I the servant or the master? Am I the observer or the observed? Doubts and uncertainties clouds my power to be in the here and now, I sometimes feel like I have no will power over my own thoughts and predilections. Physically I am in constant ache and pain as my migraine headaches due to the scorching heat of the day and my muscles sore from overworking at the farm last week is not of help to the whole situation. My teeth are sore just about everyone of them but I resist from taking any painkillers as i still believe in self healing and perhaps fear the side effects of taking these pills that numbs my brain temporarily to hide the pain. So i persist on meditation and finding respite in quietude. 
On my last trip to the farm I had brought back a kitten with me for my daughter and she was delighted and called her 'Firby', I called her Furball naturally. As much as i have issues with cats i decided to make it my practice to care for this kitten as a means of cleaning up my 'cats karma.' So i fed her clean after her mess, played with her till she gave up and even attempted to give her a bath. I am learning from this kitten all over again of what it is to love an animal unconditionally just as i love my children. Perhaps the Lord is giving me yet another chance to make up for my cat abusing days and truly understand the nature of Love. Believe me it is not easy as the old negative cat experiences still pops up its head whenever the kitten makes a rash move, or pushes the wrong buttons on my nerves. I had to keep reminding myself of compassion and so forth in dealing with her something that most people seems to have no worry about, or so it seems. 
Yes, sometimes the Bodhisatva vows is thrown out of the window, all but forgotten, one just have to keep on bringing it back into the now consciousness so as life can still be as fresh and meaningful regardless of the negative vibes that threatens to drown all our senses into submission. Giving meaning to existence is the key towards becoming a human being created in the image of the Creator otherwise life is just a fleeting dream that often ends up in a nightmare.

Transforming the old into the new.

These chairs were bought from an second hand store and I was asked to repaint them.

As i happened to have a few cans of spray paint ni the trunk of my car, I simply let loose my creative mind.

These chairs now are transformed into works of Art.

By using a branch of fern leaf from the nearby bushes i allow my mind to create something in relation to the surrounding environment.

The mind is a creative force that can bring forth the time, space and materials to fulfill its intention if and when it chooses to.

The Organic farm is a space where there is more silece than noises, more beauty than chaos and as such it helps to allow for the mind to become more quiet and focused in order to create when asked to do so.

The act of creating itslf is the end process of transferring the thoughts and ideas into physical expression.

\So now somewhere in a make shift canteen at the foothills of a small village called Lintang is a collection of pieces of my creativity that is impermanent just as the middle chair once was.

When work is Play and play becomes work.

She decided to get down and dirty with mud up to her knees, She is doing instead of  marvelling at what others do and she came all the way from Canada to do this.; she is 19. 

They stayed for more than two weeks working and playing in the foothills of Lintang, in Sik, Kedah, a place they only knew from the Internet. They have left not only  their footprints in the mud but they have also planted seedlings that will grow into rice that will feed many in the not too distant future. What money cannot buy is the satisfaction of knowing this at such early age for they are the world's pioneer in Global Connection. 

Never in their dreams would they be working alongside those of their age coming from distant lands, it has affected their lives in no small ways. This will something they will hand down for generations to come in the village they have called home, a village that has become known Globally.

He knew his son's future will be bright if he keeps on fostering this project come what may. It may not earn him much financially but it will guarantee a window of opportunity for his son to know that there is a world out there. if he chooses to venture out himself. No more is his son shy or afraid to be among strangers. 

The men who has set out to make it happen, stepping outside of their boxes and risking everything that they may help to build a better life and society clean from the affects of major corporations and the desecration of the environment. They are determined to go organic, back to the old ways of cultivation of crops and way of life. 

There are many today that has no idea what the earth smells like or feels like, nor do they care to or want to, but one day they will all end up buried in it. Those who live their entire lives in big cities have never seen an earthworm or a leech, nor have they ever heard the call of the howling gibbons very early in the morning; how much of life have they missed out on.

You are the World-wherever you be...

Lintang Pizza Night.  It was an international dinner special where volunteers from several countries decided to give the locals a treat of pizza and a few other European and Canadian dishes. It was a time to chill after a ahrd days' work out in the rice fields. 

If you cannot make it to the outside world why not bring it to you? On top of having a few lessons learned about organic rice growing you also get to learn a few words of italian and French, Japanese and Algerian  You also get to have a little understanding of the cutltural norms of others and appreciate the differences.

Children will never fail to benefit from any form of cultural exchange, their curiosity is awakened and heir intelligence is developed by being involved in the activities around them. In this days of technological abundance, their mindset is readily expanded by interactions with the foreign adults.

What you normally would not be caught doing in you own backyard, among your own kind you are free to indulge while in another man's. 

Each and every character is exposed to be tested in a neutral environment; when you travel you can be who you choose to be without too much inhibitions. Your character is judged by the performance and acceptance of the events and circumstances that presents itself around you. Help to make it a better world by being your true self.  

 .Sharing and giving is not a commodity but an asset that you carry with you as a gift for those you encounter. You are the World and the world is you. 

One week on tarm retreat.-SRI LOVELY Organic Farm.

If you build them, they will come. THe farm

 has become an added attraction for the backpackers who likes to visit the wild side of the country. However the internal struggle to keep it afloat is not so promising as many of the local boys up and left mostly due to lack of funds to pay their salary. What  a shame to have worked so hard and be disappointed by not being able to make ends meet. Where is the Government when you need it? This is thefate of most Malay projects, there is always no support from powwers that be and those who offer help expects a heap of gold in return.

I was dog tired after trimming the bamboos  and then the captain asked me if i could help him fix the water supply at the dam where we get our source of drinking water.  So as i dragged my feet following him I got this beautiful shot  where the light was just perfect and the it caught the Captain just as he was disappearing inot the darkness. I have braved myself to accept this mental and physical challenges by volunteering my services whenever I have the time and can afford it as it cost me to get to this place drving for two hours one way from georgetown, Penang. 

I cannot remember what the name of this fruit is but its like a huge apple that you cannot eat.. It is used as a natural insecticide.,  I call it the forbidden fruit. simply because it is nice and juicy to look at but cannot be eaten. Ther are so much in this life that one has yat to see, touch or taste, so get off your bed and set a course to see the world for it wont come to your doorsteps and chance are it wont be there much longer at the rate we are raping our habitat. 

Beware of them leeches! Especially during this wet season, they are all over ready to sneak up your leg and feast on your blood.  They are not big but they sure can leave an itch after they have satisfied themselves.. It is a n ordeal to get rid of them once they cling on to your skin.

 My early morning walks is the best time of  the day when I watch the sun rising behind the trees and the mist floating  over the hills. The sound of gibbons all around me and the  birds  landing into the rice fields. There's not s soul in sight and you have the whole nature to yourself; it is worth the trip. As i suck in the pure oxygen filled air and do my walking meditation execises I feel the earth moves under my feet and the skies smiling down upon me. What more can one ask for in this life other than the fact that it is all there if only we reach out and touch it.