Journey of Purification.

Waking up in the morning especially from a negative effect of an undesirable dream, like in my case, from an unresolved conflict with my twin brother, it is very crucial that one sits and meditate or contemplate over the matter and at least bring it to a more positive end. Unresolved issues of the past is one of our main contributor towards having a good day or yet another depressing one. Sitting meditation before getting of the bed and followed by simple yoga stretching to loosen up the tight muscles and allow for a more smooth flow of the blood and distribution of energy all over the body, helps to dispel the negative effect of the negative dreams. Often we are is such s hurry to get off the bed and crawl towards the bathroom to get our day set in motion with the fear of being late for work or other activities; we neglect to prime the body and mind. Our 'bio- history' as the Swami Paramahamsa Nityinanda would call it carries with it all our unresolved issues of the past the needs to be brought into completion, into a closure or conciliation to end its effect on our present and future conditions.
Every so often our anxieties and depressions are brought upon by unsolved issues of the past conscious or unconsciously and the more we are in touch and dealing with resolving these issues the lighter we become as a result of shedding off all these vexing issues that were from our past lives. Sweeping these issues under the rug will only allow them to ferment and become even more toxic when they make their appearance when triggered by reminders. In Buddhism and Hinduism , these are karmic causing issues and during the Rohatsu Sesshin in Zen Buddhist practice a special prayer is offered and one of the verses that is recited goes as; "All my ancient twisted Karmas, from beginning-less, Greed, Hate and Delusions, Born through Body, Speech and Mind, I now fully avow..." This vow is an effort to eliminate all the past accumulated karmic causing influences that we have generated from out day to day activity. For those who believe in Incarnation this prayer stretches all the way back to our past lives existence; if nothing else this confession helps to remind us of our past errors and the desire to mend our ways.

Every year when December approaches, monks everywhere tremble in anticipation of the arrival of the rohatsu sesshin [intensive meditation retreat]. In Zen dojos everywhere, people intensify their training energy in preparation for this sesshin held from the first to the eighth of December. The rohatsu sesshin is the consummation of a year's training, a time when everyone faces the final reckoning of a year of practice."

The prayer of repentance is prescribed in sharee’ah 

The scholars are unanimously agreed that the prayer of repentance is prescribed in sharee’ah. Abu Dawood (1521) narrated that Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no one who commits a sin then purifies himself well and stands and prays two rak’ahs, then asks Allaah for forgiveness, but Allaah will forgive him. Then he recited this verse: ‘And those who, when they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allaah and ask forgiveness for their sins; — and none can forgive sins but Allaah — and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know’ [Aal ‘Imraan 3:135].” Classed as sahaah by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

3 – The time for the prayer of repentance 

It is mustahabb to offer this prayer when the Muslim has decided to repent from the sin that he has committed, whether this repentance comes immediately after committing the sin or later on. The sinner must hasten to repent but if he delays it, it will still be accepted, because repentance is accepted so long as one of the following impediments does not occur: 

(i)                When the soul reaches the throat (at death). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will accept the repentance of His slave so long as the death rattle has not yet begun.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi (3537).

(ii)              When the sun rises from the west. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever repents before the sun rises from the west, Allaah will accept his repentance.” Narrated by Muslim (2703). ...Islam Question and Answer.

I am sinner, this I have no doubt about for in my past i have done many things that would be construed as being a major sin and for this iI have much to do for so as to unburden my mind and soul from this baggage. The healing process for me began when I entered the Zen Buddhist monastery to heal my body from an illness that had almost claimed my life. It has been a long and tedious process since then and i am still carrying the baggage although it has somewhat become less heavy. It began with my recognition of what my problems were from the beginning through meditation practices and through a whole lot of reading and practices i have managed to sort and sieve through my ailments, healing my 'splintered soul'. Even as i am writing I am making and effort to confront my sins, my errors, my mistakes of the past.

It is my prayer that i can be purified of all my sins before the 'sun rises in the west.' by my Lord's grace.