Falling Asleep on the Road.

Now that I have regurgitated pretty much what i had to in order to breath better, it is time to look to the brighter side of life and ponder what can be done to make the leap forward from this doldrums that i am stuck in. basically  the pain in my back is what is causing all the negative output of energy and it has been almost two weeks now that i am aching sometimes to the point of crying out in pain. I have no real complain with regard to my emotional state as i have been attempting to write my autobiography in Bahasa Malaysia and has so far manged over 200 pages in length with pictures. So i have been productive more than I claim to be.  
"You are too hard on yourself," my friend Jim Abrams at Green Gulch Zen center used to say. perhaps i am, perhaps i fail to appreciate the fact that i can write over 1500 entries in his Blog about things in my life where most others find it difficult to set a Blog up to begin with. Perhaps i failed to appreciate the fact that i have raised two of my children into adults since my wife passed away and they have turned out to be great kids. Perhaps i do not appreciate enough the fact that i have friends who would go out of the way to help me heal my body and provide me with all kinds of financial as well as moral support no matter how small it may seem.  perhaps i am still in the mode of self flagellation and blind to the fact that all I need to do is be thankful for all that i have been able to accomplish throughout my life which most people would only dream of. Perhaps...
Alhamdulliah! Thank you Lord, how i forget time and again for all that has been given tome thus far in my life. I could have been chosen to play the role of a refugee floating around in the Mediterranean somewhere or stranded in between Greece and Macedonia. But no! I have been given all the perks of life and then some to play around with and now that i am approaching the end and my body has a little breakdown from wear and tear, i am already crying foul at my Maker!  Nah! Wake up! Before it is over 
for good and the Fat lady has sung the Blues! Still time to wake up and stay focus on what Is the permanent and unending, what is the original and authentic and discard what is Maya.