I will have to call this my Political Ramblings, The song of frustrations, the Prayer for Peace, The time I spent through the GE13 campaign weeks. Some friends may pointed it out that i am being a fascist, whatever that may mean , in my feelings towards the well being of my country; I accept that. I cannot endorse violence in any form for whatever reasons; the future of this Nation will not be marred by acts of violence. This is my first request of all those chosen for the election; will you make a solemn oath to the People that you will stand responsible to the avoidance of violence during and after the Election? If violence erupts (Nau'zubillah!) heavens forbid, in or within your prescient, will you stand answerable and take full responsibility for your constituency actions?
In my estimate to be a good leader you would have had the answer, like yesterday; Yes! I will be responsible to keep this election period free of negative energies too strong that it will erupt into violence. The I will instill upon everyone in my constituency that violence will never be tolerated for whatever cause or reason. This is the first of my cardinal rules that i would expect of the individuals I vote for in this coming election. I would urge all political representatives be more cautious with the freedom of expressions as Dr. Mahathir pointed out, "We as a nation is sitting on a time bomb."We can either let it rip one way or another like we did in 1969 or we all consciously ride it out with skillful means to avoid another May 13. Cautious, especially in terms of letting the ego take the saddle and whipping left and right simply because...my appeal to all intelligent men and women, my brothers and sisters is that to tone down our egoic volume in our minds to allow for the sound of faith and compassion still echoing in the distance- like the call of the Bilal for the Muslims to Prayer.

As a good leader i believe I shouldmake every attempt to ensure that the environment is well taken care prior to all activities such as constructions of any kind. That you will confide and listen to all before you make a final decision towards any major issues especially those pertaining to the environment. To promote Health and Care awareness through 'gotong royong' for example or creating an environmental awareness campaign to involve all schools with awards to be given sponsored by Robert Bosch or Siemens, as their charitable community work; you as the leader will make this happen, can you?
I take the  sad case of the Sungai Pinang River with its six odd miles long of the state's history, like a main artery of the communities from Ayer Itam to the 'Kuala' at Jelutong. It is still a 'sick river', it is black when in low tide like pure black oil is flowing out to sea. What would you do about it? What have your Party been doing about it? I feel the amount of money you will need to build the tunnel across from the Mainland to Penang would be well worth spent on totally upgrading the status of the River. If i am not mistaken South Korea revamped the whole length of the river flowing through the city.
Waste is one thing we are good at, Malaysians, we are looking at the present situation where thousands of flags and buntings being raised just about every corner of the country; sadly to say Barisan Nasional has outdid everyone else in this venture. Penang is practically inundated by blue flags anywhere you look at what cost and whose money? I am about to leave and take a short trip for the next few days focusing on the GE13 battle of flags. I will drive to Kuala terengganu tonight and spend a day there visiting the Rural areas to see what they are up to with the GE. I will take pictures and do some water color sketching whenever permitted and especially mingle with the local crowd to catch their sentiments on the upcoming election.
I have four or five days to play with and so i will visit Kelantan and perhaps a little of Perak and Kedah on the way back.
My brother Lee sponsored this trip and i hope it will be well worth it, my friend Ah Huat the aircond man got my car all set free of charge so i can do this with his blessing. My friend Afzanizam at the Museum loaned me his camera as I lost mine; Now all I need to do is get packing. I sincerely hope you will get to see some great pictures of what its like during this General Elections in Malaysia.

The Bigger picture.

A couple of insane men ripped the Boston Marathon with home mad bombs and somewhere in New Hampshire a twenty year old have up him shining athlete career to save a stranger's life by donating his bone marrow: this is life. To say that it is all down hill for us as humans is like accepting a defeat in our own very existence as a specie; we are not fit to be humans. The Wheel of Life revolve within and without you, we can start evolving with every turn of the wheel towards the Light or sink ever deeper into the darkness of Maya or delusions. An act of kindness, a selfless act of mercy and forgiveness, an act of human Love and compassion towards fellow beings no matter its origin is not a myth in our psyche; we give that we may receive. The sacrifice made by the young man in New Hampshire brings light to the tragic loss of lives in Boston; this is the American Spirit of Sportsmanship, like baseball and apple pie.
South Korea and Japan are living under the cloak of fear from the threats of the North Koreans, collective stress is not a good sign for any society no matter how advanced or developed. Anger and fear are the two major contributor towards the mind being stressed out; it is a major excuse why most of humanity prefer to stay in ignorance of these global issues. Millions in the Middle East especially in Syria at the present moment are living in extreme stressful conditions for the collective human spirit and if this syndrome persist into the next few years the Vietnam war syndrome will set into the minds of all who are affected. It is imperative that we learn to accept out present human condition as such and awaken to what it is that we can contribute towards the healing process of this illness we are suffering from.
Now David has been given the green light to take on Goliath, Iran and Israel will join the global conflict on the physical dimension; another long fermenting hatred of each for the other is about to erupt into a possible Nuclear war; that's not a good picture to paint for my grandchild, but it is inevitable as we as humans are doomed to fulfill out darkest desires of Greed, Hate and Ignorance; our three Idols or worship. Only man can justify to himself for all that is happening around him and blame it on the devil. And for those who are believers, God is always on our side; it is God's Will.
It is God's will that two brothers decided to go on a rampage and take innocent lives in Boston for no justifiable reason and it His will for the lad in New Hampshire to give up his bright future, but it is our will that is being tested here and Now; we are the ones suffering this humongous load of a stressful situation to which Millions if not Billions of us are unaware of and are being driven toward our own self destruction by it like cancer cells eating away at the host. How do we slowdown the Wheel of Life, how do we help to heal the multi - splintered souls crying out for mercy from deep within their innermost being like a silent scream. Our Lord Christ, Om' Muni, Padme Hom! O' Avalokiteshvara, the manifestation of Infinite Mercy and Compassion, Kwan Yin - Goddess of Mercy, O' Krishna, O' Ram! YaAllah! I pray to You, my faith in You my will is Yours, forgive me my sins the largest to the tiniest, forgive me my unconcious of who I am in the course of this life, forgive me my doubts, my laziness, my slothfulness and stupor. Forgive me LORD FOR MY WEAKNESSES.
Yes not very much left for us, humans is there but to make amends with our Maker in whatever form He may appear for thee. To ask for His intervention and by His grace lead us out of this rut we are in that is pulling us all like a vortex into a Black Hole. Scientists are not going to pull us out, nor are we going to be save by religious orders, no, only we can save ourselves, we as individuals have to awaken by first realizing that yes we are unconscious at the present moment and we are walking down the road towards our own demise like a horde of Zombies in the Walking Dead series.
How!? READ!! Iqrar! Ask, (and ye shall be given), knock! (and it shall open), make learning about life itself you priority in life, in so doing perhaps you get to know who you truly are. It is while in this human form that true liberation can be achieved; it is sad to waste this great opportunity for all to migrate into a higher consciousness, a consciousness free from greed, hate and ignorance.

Blogging On...

Got To step outside for fresh Air away from all this politicking! Flags an buntings are every where! Yards and yards of cloth and plastic all colored to identify the culprits who are responsible for all the waste, Government or otherwise; Yippee Ka --A! Got to take a breather, all these,' them bad We good' stuff is choking my heart like the smog over Beijing. like the haze over Singapore! The creepy crawlers are creeping out of the wood works after being exposed each by the opponents; bury deeper you skeletons my brothers or learn to accept and repent by giving back to the people what you took in good faith. Nope no more politicking within and without of this idiot, what do I know of who really carry the stick and who carries the carrot, far beneath me to assume that my limited knowledge on the subject will ever get me elected into office; I am the man on the street - Wot Me Worry!
Today I have to say i am indeed sorry for I am taking a time out from ramblig on about the one subject that is hot in this country at the moment--Yessirr! Politics! Who will run the government in the next five years! My God!, how time flies!
The entry I am sharing for today, assuming I have these big fan club out there, is purely to let my feelings go while I am sitting in the office space and out of the sun, away from the incessant rambling of the traffic, the stares and counter stares of strangers on the way evolving towards the Zombie state of existence...Hello! Is there anybody in - there?!Is there anyone Home?! I wish to just allow my mind to ramble on whatever it feels like rambling about and you ARE ALL WELCOME TO SWITCH OFF OR MOVE ON TO YOUTUBE.
Today is no special day by any means and more flags were waving when I left the house after shaking the hand of the man I might or suppose to or maybe vote for, a Chinese gentleman the DUN for my area, a Pati Gerakan candidate, the first hand I happen the shake in the course of my state of non-involvement with politics day. But as they say God works in mysterious ways even for Buddhas, nothing is as is believe it or not, change happens with the blink of an eye it is all gone,,,"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" This is the nature of politic, sometimes you are up and sometimes you come down, the higher you up, the greater a height to come down. As I have often told my number one son, 'The Pilot', when your head is high among the clouds... don't forget the ground you walk on, stay awake, stay conscious, stay and be here in the present space and time. You may now take a break and join your fb friends to catch up with what is up with GE13.
Yes, what is the latest scandal? What videos!? 230Billion!?? Biak BETOI!!, tHE dR. SAY WHAT!? Hindraf!? Whassat? New Shampoo? New Religion?? New party!? Who? When? Why? Bullet in the head tragedy la! It is all in fb and it is free and fun! If you have any doubts about the political situation in your country just ask your silly question on fb and you would surprise at how many knowledgeable persons are out there ready to lend a helping thought; about politics. The fb is God's incarnation as a mind machine to help keep man's insanity from coming to full manifestation as in an Armageddon, no Sir we are not ready for it yet, we still have those whose faith can lift up mountains and whose hope for us is still burning in their prayers, for blessed are the weak and hopeless... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven..." JC.
No not meaning to make any sense anymore so don't start getting judgemental over what i am rambling on, just exit and got take a good long walk or sulk in a corner; yes the salt has become stale itself. When the salt the very property of which is to save and preserve food from becoming bad what else is there in this world that we can depend on? Yes i am still trying hard to make sense, of which I am not, in all good faith, I am purely trying to outsmart my mind but playing this little game of saying it as it is...life sucks!, Religion sucks! Politics, Sucks the Worse!! There, it is all expressed, out in the open! declared and exposed off, accepted and have become; I am a free soul! My thoughts and ideas are no more dictated by any external influences, it is all me1 Me! ME! I am the Ego! I am the thinker the, director the producer, the camera man and the sound specialist, I am the Hero, the King, the slave, I am the man who was angry and still is, I am the fool who sings the song of Gods. Yes if and when allowed to be free the human mind has the propensity to exaggerate more than it actually is.
One of my nagging concern is that I might have a tumor or something like it up there in my skill and it sometimes causes sharp migraine like pains down my neck and spine. It not the all the time but will pop up every now and then taking a hold of my consciousness with a worry sense of feeling. I hate to wake up one day and not be able to have a hard on! That would be a bummer! Have not had a good sex for a very long time now, self imposed celibacy; if there is anything worth living for it is the act of love making.
Enough said, what I really wish to talk about today is mostly the fact that anyone reading my rambling would take what i say with a grain of fresh salt. What I keep on yapping about all these years are simply what goes on in my mind as I look at the world looking back at me. Like the most of us I am treading along in the dark taking my chances reaching out into emptiness with faith of one who is a believer for that which is light.
Simply put, trying to make sense out of non-sense of what has been and what will be while sitting here in this office tapping away my ramblings to a number of nameless readers from all over the planet - Blogging.

The Man I would vote for?.

The home I grew up in at Sungai Pinang used to be the UMNO Stronghold since the independance thanks to my late auntie's popularity as a midwife among all the races living in Penang when she was alive. When I read about the death of Senator Aishah Ghani, my auntie's memory and what she stood for I realized that it was through my auntie that i recognized who the Senator was and had she still been alive i am sure she would have something to share about the influences of Ma'Timah Bidan in the politcs of UMNO in the Jelutong and Sungai Pinang Area. She is also the reason why I was turned off by politics; she died with a pingat AMN for all that she had done while those who used her to gain popularity went off to become Dato, and Tan Sris: the first prime minister of the country confided in her, so did Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi way back when he was still climbing the steps of his political career. Don't take my words for it, talk to those still alive whose children were delivered by her. If  I have any suggestion for Mr.Lim Guan Eng i would ask him to name 'Jalan Sungai or River road as it used o be called as Jln. Mak Timah Bidan; the least he could do and might even gain Malay supports there automatically. Do all the background research you want talk to the older Chinese who used to live in Bakau Street or Perak lane. I was told that my auntie was the only Malay who could walk into the Chinese areas during the May 13th incident without being touched as a matter of fact escorted to various homes to deliver babies. She was instrumental in defusing the possible blood bath of Chinese and Malays in the Jelutong Sungai Pinang areas. She was no Mother Teresa but she carried weight among all the races in our area. There is a Tan Sri and a former Senator from Sungai Pinang they can verify what i am saying.
As Dr. Tun Mahathir  once said, "Melayu mudah lupa,"; I say most Malaysians especially politicians forgets easily those whose backs they ride on once they have achieved what they set out to achieve. The small people, the people on the street, the fishermen and the rice grower and rubber tappers. Once they get their chance it is on to Mega projects and how to fill their personal bank accounts for their own future, not satisfied, their children's too. Today P.Ramlee gets a posthumous Tan Sri, my auntie most probably delivered him too. There is a picture at the P.Ramlee Museum here of my auntie's husband better known among locals as Na Wan, or Ishak Merican, who plays the violin for the band that had accompanied P.Ramlee in his very early days.
Give credit where credit is due, honor those who had helped to mold the society, when we forget them their words of wisdom and acts of compassion dies with them. How can one represent a community when one has no grasp of its social history. We pride having a World heritage Status but we take no notice of our own grass roots,; How we became a nation. A society that has no strong connection with its roots cannot stand strong against the forces of change as its foundation is too shallow and weak. The CM. Mr. Lim did an admirable job while he was in office taking care of the needs of Penangites but he is not of Penang, hence he needs a tunnel to get to the island where two bridges are not enough, with the second bridge not even complete yet. Slow down Sir, for the sake of this state take care of those who are even now getting side swiped by too much progress and change. The Chinese and Malays are once more at a collision course in this upcoming election, it is up to would be leaders to feel the sensitiveness of the situation by getting in touch consciously with the needs and wants of the people. It will take more than just promises and rewards to gain the trust of the people; it would take down to earth awareness, compassion and the greater Love of your fellow citizen for Peanag to become a whole better than HongKong or Singapore; We will at least have a more happier people living together without too much restraint, this is why we get more and more Penang as a Second home guests. Penang has a heritage in Its people, not in the whitewashed colonial era structures and Colonial names of its streets, but in the street people and their stories of their past. Without them the Island will become like Singapore or Hong Kong, (not that it is everyone' desire for it to be so): sterile and culturally dead.

GE13 - on my mind.

As a responsible citizen, a man who spent half his life living outside the country, (not by choice really), but loves this country "Tempat tumpah darah", I have only voted once in my life. I voted for Pa' Lah, the first time I decided to vote I voted for a man I thoguht would bring a little sense of "slow down, take it easy...don't be too greedy, too much in a hurry, lets find the middle way kind of guy; I shook his hand w after he gave his first 'ceramah' at the Primula Hotel, Kuala Terengganu. At the time I was having my first solo exhibition in Kuala Terengganu, at the Hotel foyer. One evening the manager then a close friend told me to go home and put on a batik shirt. When I asked why, he said Pa'Lah is coming, go see what he has to say. I did.
I arrived early and there were many empty seats up front, so I sat right up front and later joined by a couple of bouncers who I latter learned, after half an hour of chit chatting belonged to the Army Intelligence, or Pa'Lah's body guards, could have been. I told them I was from Penang and had grown up twelve years of my life in Terengganu and that i lived overseas for..yada...yada..ya! The Pa' Lah gave his talk and along with him on the stage were Dato'Idris Jusoh and an old childhood friend from Penang, Dato' ?? Zainol Ariff. After his short speech Pa' Lah and the floor was open for questions. Somewhere in the far back of the hall a young man shouted his question, "Pa'Lah, NI Melayu Pulau Pinang pun ta'mampu na' jaga, macam mana na' jago Melayu Tngggsanu!?" The question asked had the three individuals on stage nailed to the floor with their heads bent and nodding and swinging sideways. The deputy Primeminister was speechless but gave a brave smile and I never felt a more humbling experience, I felt very sorry for all three of them. I voted for Pa'Lah and the Barisan Nasional swept back the carpet on the state of Terengganu; Pass was almost wiped out, that was a Tsunami of 'Change!

At the urging by my table mates with a nudge in my rib, "Orang hang kena hentam ni, Pi la sat bagi buah sepatah dua." Go break the ice. I did. I walked up to the mike and told the hall that they were not to worry about Penang Malays, we will survive, the problem you have is here and why the Terengganu people almost unanimously voted you out in the last four of five years ago was because they were, "Merajok", disappointed to put it mildly at your poor performances as caretakers. I told them that it used to be a symbol to ride your bicycles into the rural areas to discover how the people are doing, but today you refuse to step out of the government sponsored Pajarro for fear you might dirty your shoes...'turun padang konon!" During the Monsoon season so much suffering for those fishermen and their families, all I ever heard from them is the lack of support from people like you, ( I assume I was addressing UMNO members). I went on and on about loosing the valuable assets like Redang and Perhentian to outside investments, what do the Malays own on those Islands?
Pa'Lah spoke after telling the crowd that he was willing to spend the whole night there if need be, to listen to all the problems the Young Malay Entrepreneurs had to share. The whole event ended at about 2 am. As I shook his hand, Dato'Idris Jusoh shook my hand and asked me "Mu Kerje Pende karang?" What are you doing now? He later became the Mentri Besar when BN took the state. That was my first involvemnt in Malaysian politics as I signed up to vote and thought then that Terengaanu needed a change, big time! The richest state in terms of resources and man power, the poorest in terms of everyday living. I knew this as I was a Health and Safety Officer at the Petronas construction site building the Refinery at Kerteh and Gebeng for three years, informations came firsthand from experience and personal observations. On one the meetings I told the young Petronas Site Officers the same thing about "turun padang" and  airconditoned Pajarros: the affect it has on those working out in the hot noonday sun, or slip sliding in yellow mud during the rainy seasons.
I love Terengganu, spent my teen years there hunting, fishing , diving off the coast on the islands in the early sixties. My house was across the street from Istana Badariah and used to run around the palace grounds with Raja Baharin playing cowboy asnd Indians. I used to caddy for The late HRH Sultan Isalmail Nassiruddin Shah, he talked to me and I listened on many quiet moments along the golf course surrounding the palace, I was more than fortunate. I used to caddy for the late dato' Arrifin Zakaria who later became personal adviser to Sultan Mizan, who at one time became the King for a period, the younngest I believe, of Malaysia.. What I am saying is I had very great teachers in my childhood years.
 The children most of whom are adults now on Pulau Duyong called me .Sir as I used to volunteer teach them English along with my late wife Nancy. Terengganu deserves better; most politicians there were myopic except for Dato'Idris Jusoh back then, but his dreams for the State was short lived through - Politics.When the Teremgganu state Stadium roof collapsed twice it wass not a good omen, we cannot just hope to change we must fully understand to change for the better...we have to be able to stop saying, "what's in it for me?"
 I hate to quote J. F.Kennedy as it is so well used but..."Ask not what the country can do for you...but what you can do for the country." I hope in all my heart that we are all asking the right question as we step into this next General Election.

More and more on GE13

Malaysia is going through her period of molting, changing from was to what will be for the sake of peace and prosperity of the nation as a whole It is a period of spring cleaning, getting rid of the useless baggage and allowing for a renewal of our visions in to 2020 where we can stand tall among nations to claim our rights as a democratic country. This can only happen if we can collectively become aware of our present state of 'Being', a Malaysian.
As individuals we can claim our rights by becoming conscious and not be taken for a ride while still fast in our sleep; even a water buffalo will resist being led to the slaughter house by the nose. We need to become awakened from our state of conditioned mind generated existence which is easily led by falsehood and corruptions which has become a trademark of Malaysian politics. We need to become fully engaged with what is going on in the political arena but not sucked into its negative influences such as false accusations and mudslingings, fiery oratory empty promises and religious threats. We as Malaysians will have to learn to say 'No! enough is enough': we demand the truth, we demand the freedom to be heard and be made to fully comprehend what wrong has been committed and what can be rectified.
It would be indeed a waste of time and money, not to mention the psychological despair and physical loss if we as Malaysians end up electing one demon to replace another. We the people as a whole must educate ourselves by all means within and without, as we individuals is what Malaysia is. In freedom from all conditioning can we be fully aware of who we truly are any less than this is indeed a waste of our precious resources. We have to see beyond the forms and symbols, the ethnic and religious the power struggles and the very need to vote for any party or anyone until we have seen clearly and conclusively for our selves what is the truth; what is needed to revitalize, rejuvenate and recharge our nation into its status as a fully developed nation. No amount of flag raising, banner hoisting or campaign slogans can achieve this unless we take responsibility as individuals to look deep within and come out with what is truly the right choice.
We do not need to elect any government until the people is satisfied with what they truly want, it is the people's choice that is democracy and Malaysia will stand as a Democratic nation worthy of respect of other nations.
All we are asking for is a Nation of peace and prosperity, a Nation that is harmonious in the coexistence of its people and a government that we can trust to carry us into the future with these values in mind. The political Manifestos of both side of the divide are just job descriptions that are mandatory to be carried out to best of abilities to ensure the smooth operation or running the country; you either do it or you don't it is part and parcel of your responsibilities, nothing special. We will vote accordingly when we are satisfied that you are qualified to do the job. Deliver what is rightfully ours and make this nation worthy of its name; we have no interest in who you are, but what you can deliver; diligently, with conscientiousness and perseverance, we will elect you.

More on GE13

"Because we live in such a mind dominated - culture, most modern art, architecture,music, and literature are devoid of beauty, of inner essence, with ver few exceptions. The reason is that the people who created those things cannot - even for a moment -  free themselves from their mind. So they are never in touch with that place within where true creativity  and beauty arise. The mind left to itself creates monstrosities, and not only in art galleries. Look at our urban landscapes and industrial wastelands. No civilization has ever produced so much ugliness."
                                          "The Power of Now" - Eckahart Tolle.

Because we live in a mind - dominated culture we become allot less sensitive towards our fellow beings , their strength and weaknesses their affairs and needs, their flaws and successes, we as a species seek only to survive, more so as time progresses. We seek to reach the top of the mystic mountain at all cost no matter who or what we trash along the way, it has become - it is our way or no way. It is  because our culture has become so mind dominated that we are forcing ourselves into a conner where there is no way to escape but self destruction and we will do this unconsciously, with not even knowing that we are driven to do it.

Malaysia is going through a period of political as well cultural change if not a mindset change for the past few years since Anwar Ibrahim got slapped by the then Chief of Police. It was our wake up call or what happened to the ex Deputy Primeminister would have been of no consequence, a waste. Not all Malaysians can read and not everyone understands the gravity of GE13 or the upcoming General Elections, it is up to us those who claim themselves to be educators of one kind or another to educate the masses, our family Friends mothers and grand mothers, the coffee shop cronies and the pondok philosophers and politicians. The least one can do is to inform them to not get involve at all rather than be involved in a negative way. It is better not to cast your vote than vote out of spite; or worse in ignorance.

To the Chinese this is the Year of the Water Snake, the snake is changing its skin at present in Malaysian; the nation is molting. When in this state of being it is understood that the snake goes through a state of hibernation, a state of loosing control of all its physical form to allow for the shedding of old skin to take place; any struggle or rash drastic move could result in an irreparable damage to the (future) form. Malaysians have to spend more time looking within themselves than what is being fed them from without. In this mind dominated culture and age nothing is what it seems more so than ever. Thoughts especially collective thoughts is capable of creating anything that can fool you in order to gain your confidence; your vote. We have to wake up, we have to become conscious, be aware of what is happening in and around us, we have to become enlightemed so that our choice for the future comes from a state of being the is not unconscous, or fast asleep with a blanket of ignorace.

In the heat of the electoral campaign there are those who would go to all and any extend to prove themselves worthy of your trust and confidence, listen, understand and accept what you fill is correct and dismiss what is not,  free your mind from all prejudices, all conditionings and see clearly what is exactly needed for change to happen. If possible lend no energy positive or negative but just allow for the campaigning to take its course, be fully conscious and present while this is going on. When the time comes for you to cast your vote allow for it to happen freely without any tint of fear or prejudice.
Vote from the heart with the Faith and Love for your country and your future generations.
May God Help us all.

GE13 our Wake Up Call

"Once upon a time you were sharply intolerant. You were constantly in a rush. And you were constantly short of time. And now you have time with interest.
Formerly you never forgave anyone. You judged people without mercy. And you praise people with equal lack of moderation. And now an understanding mildness has become the basis of your uncategorical judgements. You have come to realize your own weakness-= and you therefore understand the weakness of others. And be astonished at another's strength. And wish to possess it yourself.
...In the intoxication of youthful success I had felt myself to be infallible, and I was therefore cruel. In the surfeit of power I was a murderer and an oppressor. In my most evil moments I was convinced that I was doing good, and I was well supplied with systematic arguments. And it was only when I lay there on rotting prison straw that I sensed within myself the first stirrings of good. Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, not between classes, not between political parties wither--but right through every human heart--and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. And even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained. And even in the best of hearts, there remains...an unuprooted small corner of evil.
Since then I have come to understand the truth of all the religions of the world: They struggle with the evil inside a human being (inside every human being0. It is impossible to expel evil from the world in its entirety, but it is possible to constrict it within each person."
                                                                           Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn,
                                                                           "Gulag Archipelago"
It is a blessing that not all of us have to spent time in the Gulag or the Siberian prison camps in order to be awakened to our human follies, our self aggrandizement, our sense of self worship and servitude. Malaysian politicians should read these words expressed by a man who toppled the Soviet Union and Communism by sheer power of the 'spirit of the pen'. Malaysian politicians are mostly opportunist and thrill seekers who have the means and the expense to be involved in what is deemed as  the most lucrative business, that of being in power. Everyone wants to get on the bandwagon and most are in the fray of the elections for the name and and the perks that comes with but few are genuinely awakened to the real needs of the people in general and fewer still are capable of delivering the promises made in the heat of the General Election. There is none to blame but those of us who vote, we vote unconsciously based on what is being fed to us day in day out through the Medias and the Internet. We are still in our sleep dreaming that it is all facts of life that we have to wade through in our dream state, hoping that none of this will turn into a nightmare; our wake up call.
Most of my friends in the coffee shops and the pondoks by the sea have not the vaguest idea who they are voting except for the party they represent.
"Aku undi Barisan la...hmm. Pulau Pinang aku kena undi Gerakan, Cina la kot."
" Aku undi PAS la, tak pon indi Pakatan, DUN di tempat aku pon aku ta'tau sapa!"
"Mesti la Undi DAP1 Penang tak dak pilihan dah DAP punya!"
Sorry if I dint translate but suffice to say most dont know what or who they cast their votes for and these are those who do discuss the matter at the very least, while the rest I am sure takes the stand where ignorant is bliss, " Cakap hal politik ni boleh jadi gila!".
I take solace in the fact most Malay Muslims in this country are pious men and women, yes, a great many are not but they still maintain a strong sense of conscience however when it comes to doing the wrong thing; the fear of God is still within each and every mind of a Muslim irregardless of their quality of religiousity. For so long as the religion is not threatened, most Malays will accept the result of the upcoming GE to them being a Muslim is paramount to being a Malay. Thus you see the religious issue being constantly evoked when all else fails; this is evil. When man's faith is being used against him in ignorance and with malicious intent it is evil manifesting and those who raise religious issues in the GE should be barred from becoming a member of the Malaysian Cabinet or any political station because these are those who are without conscience and often enough Godless. They lack the will to do the greater good and exploit the greater good for their self serving agendas; Nothing agitate, irritate and infuriate the people more than when their faith or religion is being questioned, that goes for all the religions in this country.

Art Class SMK Kuala Ketil

"Great Souls", brief biographies of six individuals whose life and actions has affected the world written by David Aikman  is a good source of inspiration for those who are looking at the big picture where the fate humanity is concern. These larger than life characters includes the Rev. Billy Graham, Nelson Mandela, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Mother Teresa, Pope John Paul II and Eli Wiesel. Each of these individuals manifested great virtues such as ,Salvation, Forgiveness, Truth, Compassion, Human Dignity and Remembrance as their forte in tackling the human conditions that they were faced with. The books is a good read as it evokes in my own quest limited as it is towards better understanding of what it takes to be an extraordinary being in this time and age. The course of the lives on these individuals, their strength of character and their deep sense of integrity in facing adversities is a great model for the rest of mankind to refflect upon and emulate.
If in some small way I can emulate the 'compassion' as characterized by Mother Teresa or the 'forgiveness' in spirit of Nelson Mandela, If i can in some small way express the 'truth' as has been the tool wielded by Solzhenitsyn; I would be indeed of use to the human race in its course of survival. As I keep digging within me to discover my true being, my original nature, I find reading the lives of great men and women of the past who have made a contribution towards humanity's well being gives me a sense of belonging. In the words of Billy Graham, the American Evangelist;

"I am going to preach a gospel not of despair but of hope - hope for the individual, for society and for the world."
          Billy graham, London, 1954

We are close to if not already are walking in the valley of death, humanity as a whole today is closer to our own self destruct than ever before with the latest sabre rattling going on on the Korean Peninsula and not to mention the civil war in Syria and the ethnic religious conflict scattered throughout the globe like wild fires. Most of us are oblivious to this state of affairs living our lives in complete denial with our heads buried in the sand. But there are those who have awakened and are beginning to realize the terrors that confronts us in the not too distant future of our existence on this planet; these few from all corners of the earth  are preaching the gospel of hope even if it is quietly  done to their small gathering of followers with like mindedness. These are the few who have begun to see through the falsity of our errors due to our common ignorance and deep rooted sense of greed and thirst for power; we are taking a crap on the very plate we eat from.
Nelson Mandela in his defence before the court that sentenced him to life imprisonment told the judge..
"During my  lifetime I have dedicated myself to the struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratise
 and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die for."
                                                                                                     Nelson Mandela - 'The Rivonia Trial'

As Malaysians are preparing to face the General Elections which will fall on the fifth of May next month many are still in a conundrum as to who or what to believe in much less too choose as the future leaders to lead the country. Most Malaysians are closely monitoring the both the pro-government and opposition parties through all the medias and more so thought the Internet excess to information's, But a great many more are left to their own devices as they are not educated and would have to rely on what is fed to them from both sides. These are  easily swayed by rhetoric's and promises, that is past and parcel of an election campaign; in the long run it is their lives that will be most affected by whoever comes to power after the General Election. The younger generation of voters, those who for their first time are casting their votes will play a major role in deciding who will decide their future. These are the more informed voters as they are exposed to the E - Medias. As flags and banners fill the air along street corners and rice fields, as the voting fever affects young and old alike, Malaysia will see a change that is expected to be both thorough and consequential. The people, a majority of them are awakened and they are taking a very close attention towards making their choices transcending prejudices albeit racial or religious.
It is up to the politicians especially the newer faces to live up to the people's expectations, they will have to be able to break away from the regular politic or money and mud slinging; they have to be genuinely concern with the future of this nation. The question is what can they bring for a better change to enable the country to move forward in peace and prosperity and not become copy cats of their predecessors. The people are hoping for some new and intelligent leaders to educate the masses, who will enlighten their future towards peace and prosperity; not more opportunists and shysters to rip them off at every sign of a contract. It is not about money; it is about integrity, honesty and compassion. It is best for those vying for a position or being elected as officials to know that the people are not fast asleep as those that were in the past and that to be elected they have to serve and not be served like those before them. Serving the needy, the poor the destitute, the ignorant and those in their immediate care is what is expected of them; not serving their own self interest and those of their kith and kin. Most of all to achieve justice for all.

This, is Me!! at the FairView International School

How to Be -Creative.

We were saying that human consciousness is similar in all human beings. Our consciousness, whether we live in the East or West, is made up of many layers of fears, anxieties, pleasures, sorrows and every form of faith. Occasionally, perhaps, in that consciousness there is also love, compassion, and from that compassion a totally different kind of intelligence. And always there is the fear of ending, death. Human beings throughout the world from time immemorial have tried to find out if there is something sacred, beyond all thought, something incorruptible and timeless.
"So, how shall a human being - who is actually the rest of mankind - how shall he face this crisis, this turning point? How will you as a human being, who has evolved through millennia upon millennial, thinking as an individual - which is actually an illusion - face a turning point, see what actually is and in that very perception move totally in another direction? "
                                                                                                              J.Krishnamurti

How do we detach our mind from the present moment towards the next free from thought influence, free from thinking free from projecting from imitating from repeating from what has been to what is to become from the movement that is the thought process; How do we stop thinking? Stop breathing. Cease for the moment and seize the moment, be present and and not of the present, non attachment to even the sense of being in the moment; Stop breathing.
Letting go, surrendering, accepting and evolving, the road to salvation of my own thought manifested self, how do I be free of this attachment? How can i liberate my consciousness from this predicament of knowing, that there is an issue I am dealing with in so far as my thoughts and expressions are concern seeing that I am a Blogger and an Artist  and I have a good number of friends, followers ( in readers) and family to pay my dues to, I am committed if not obligated to this cause of sharing my thoughts as i unravel them. The mysteries of the human mind is far beyond any man's scope of study even if he be a genius, but there are geniuses who sees through these workings of the human mind, making it their primary concern for the the salvation of mankind itself and Jedu Krishnamurti (K) was one such Teacher for me.
The teachings of K is no easy act to follow and it takes more than just courage to understand him in totality. It takes intelligence, it takes total submission, giving up, cessation of all mental clinging, being forever in the the moment of Now, the 'Prescence' of Eckhart Tolle's ideas about in The Power of Now. In the Gita, not that I am an expert, it is the Non - egoic action, the Wu wei  (inactive action)of Zen practice, the 'Bare Attention' of the Hinayana school of Buddhism and the absolute 'Kushukh' (In the presence of Allah) of Sufi practice. All these are the different schools and practices that I have made and effort to understand and put to practice most of my adult life; this has been one approach I have chosen to take in my life; my practice.Insha'Allah, God Willing.
I am going round the bend, I am taking that turn, I am walking into the unknown into the unmanifested, I am taking that 'One Step Beyond' and I am taking my leap of faith...I am no more. I cease to be, I am Now! I am this moment in time and space, my fingers tapping on the keyboard as I keep on Blogging. I have done my blogging part of the assignment in the effort to study my progression towards a better understanding of this whole process of 'Becoming un -Attached', are you still with me?
And Azlan walks in, checked his hair in the mirror and " Hi Bro!! What's up?"
"All set for tomorrow? let me know what i can do for you."
"Sure thing! Dude, Blood, Bro, Man!!"
"Wow! ITU YANG MAHAI TU!"
Now the shift has happened, with a new consciousness being introduced the mind is shifted from its present thought processes to what just happened externally, a breaker.
This is by no means a deep and thorough understanding of the total workings of the mind and its thought processes but it is generally how it is. We can sit and day dream our time away if allowed to do so and we will never run out of episodes or dramas to be entertained with and when there is an interruption in the form of sound or anyone demanding your attention, or simply when your body is in need of realignment, you need to fart or burp; the mental activities are shifted or even silenced and it is during these brief periods or gaps of non-thinking that new or sometimes original thoughts and ideas are manifested.
It is through consciousness that we perceive when such a shift occurs and the result can be beneficial especially when involve in creative endeavors; the Sifu sat for a long time facing his blank scroll and then without any warning reaches out grabs his brush and dipping it in the ink well created a heard of wild horses running free in an endless field. This spontaneous act emanates from a silenced mind that manifested itself according to the need to express the moment of its presence. As an artist, I seek these moments wherever and whenever I can in order to explore deeper into what my mind is capable of in the act of creative expression.

Some Dreams are not meant to be...

It don't look like the Masters Degree plan is going to happen as upon pondering all possibilities i come to feel that firstly i cannot afford the cost even if i am entitled to a half price offer for being over the hill age. Secondly, although I practically have all the work needed to be done already accomplished and all a matter of organizing them into a presentable format, I am not convinced of the need to pacify the need of the instructor who is stuck upon, the "my way or no way attitude." I know i will be put through the grind just to please an already inflated ego. Perhaps these are only mu excuses, trivia that can easily overcome if I had wanted to, but thirdly, I feel too tired of making anymore waves in my life; it seems a futile an endeavor. Call it as a part of getting old in age and spirit, like the sight getting more and more blurry and the will to get up and do is becoming more tedious. Giving up and saying no is never easy for me in the past but now it seems to happen quite naturally. Less desire to get things done, I feel tired, I feel sad and depressed more often, it is like my true test of character is being laid before me as i am being tested  from every aspect of my being, physical, mental and spiritual. Call it getting ready to take the final cut? leap? stepping out of this circle of life death and rebirth?
I have lived a life full of memories,of experiences and in the process have made many mistakes and fell into a whole lot of errors: these have cropped up in my consciousness more and more often and with clarity; I am haunted by my past and my future is uncertain. For one who has made the study of his own mind as a lifelong vocation, this is normal and i have learned to accept my past and look forward to my future. I have also through the years accomplished what I had set out to accomplish; some of which transcends boundaries both external and internal and through having come to an understanding of these accomplishments I have been able to turn most of my grievances into food and fodder for my present state of being: I like being who I am.
Perhaps it is time to raise the Kundalini, work up a little energy from the lowest chakra, stir up the pot and wake up the serpent. The chakras that has been dormant for so long now since their last energizing is in need of a booster shot to rekindle their flames. I am working on an oil painting that has to do with my series of the"Space" Inner and Outer and  at the present moment I am working a flaming fiery part of the the Sun, a Sun Spot and it is dominated by the color of Red, Vermilion Red. This is the color of the Radiance of the First Chakra, The Cauldron, the Pot where lies the Serpent of Power,"The coil", The power of Regeneration, The Beginning of Energy, in the human physical form; The Kundalini. I think...
For me it is a series of breathing while stretching leading on to moving in slow mo  TaiChi like and later moving into the shake it loose state like Chi Gung, the whole body shakes to let got of all the 'stuck' joints or points, letting go of thoughts and psycho - emotional baggage that we all carry in our short lives.This exercises are a combination of all the I have eclectically accumulated through my childhood and adult lives, these exercises helps me to stay in the present every time I am led astray by my thoughts and imaginations, I start to fall asleep much too long than I need to.
Although it may seem contradictory for one to practice detachment and yet to care so much for the body and its workings, however this body of ours is the vessel that we are equipped with in this round of life on this planet and it is perfect in its creation. Being in touch with the physical is as important as being in touch with the spiritual as the state of the physical form has strong impact upon our spiritual awakening; a weak body cannot house a strong mind and so the flip side of the coin. One does not need to be a marathon runner nor a body builder to keep the body healthy but suffice to say that keeping a close watch upon all the balances that the maintenance of the body requires is a good start; complete alignment and the easy flow of energy throughout the body is the cure. Remembering to be thankful for having such complete form and figure in this life is another virtue worth remembering; thank You Lord for making me whole and perfect in my forms; I am not blind, nor deaf, not lame nor without limbs, for these i am grateful.
So I accept my limitations for the moment and put the Master Degree course on hold indefinitely until such time when it can happen of its own. I am a Master at what i do, this I have been told by my peers and colleagues and some even expressed the fact that i have even transcended this level to a PhD. level if all is taken into account. But there is no doubt that having a piece of paper saying you have achieved to such a level in your pursuit of knowledge can be rewarding as the world recognizes what is apparent in one's certificate of accomplishment and not heresay. My other thought on the matter is to do the program at a University worth sacrificing my time at, it could be overseas instead of here in this country.


 

More to Ramble about...

My daughter mentioned that I am repeating Eckhart Tolle in my writings lately and I bought  "The Power of Now" using her college book voucher at The Poplar Book Store at Queens Bay Mall. where we also saw The Croods Family and animation about a cave dweller's family. Now she is back in Cyberjaya to continue with her studies. My son Karim is now pretty much a professional Burger Man at the Sungai Pinang Food Court, on Bakau Street, he works for his uncle Rahim who also sells steam rice or 'Nasi Kukus". Its good business as the place is always jam packed with Chinese customers who loves to eat. I like to hangout with them every now and then and just soak in the Chinese scene while listening to Rahim rampaging himself through the stories of what goes on in the City. Like a few nights ago a group of drunk Vietnamese  were at each other throats and had to be taken away in a police van. Then there were the Indian clashes th4e night before where they slashing away till the cops came. The Food Court known as Bali Bali, Sungai Pinang is where you get to meet life while hanging out in Penang.
A little bit about Eckhart Tolle and The Power of NOW book. I was introduced to the book by an Austrian gentleman I met while travelling from Ubud, Bali to the Bromo mountains in Central Java. This was in 2008 sometime and i read the book while travelling with this Austrian and a friend of his, he apologized that he cannot give to me as it was what he was working with while travelling. The reason he offered for me to read the book was because we had a long conversation about our views of life and the different schools of thoughts that we have come to understand as we seek fo the answers. He thought the book would suit me for the way I think. I found so many similarities between the way see life and Eckhart Tolle's, it was like reading my own thoughts out loud only it has been more clearly put by someone who had done some souls searching in his past. However books like that of Baba Ram Dass entitled 'Be Here Now" and Jedu Krishnamurti's works on thoughts and time and consciousness had been my points of references when I was on the same road.
Today i was asked if I would like to join the Tabligkh or a small Muslim group of doing Allah's works through service and devotion, prayers, Zikhir and meditation. This was the second time the offer was made like a challenge; for me to take the leap of faith and possibly changing my life for good. I am susceptible when it comes to religious practices but I have my doubts, not in the religious practice but in my being able to walk into another blind alley and come out with nothing but more dramas to deal with.