Just as the world is spinning out of control around me so is my mind making great effort to skip out of its orbit; get itself removed from the magnetic pull of the Global insanity of War and exploitations oppressions and suppression , of moral and mental decay, of disregard for compassion for human lives. There is no escape from what is and what is not exactly a great picture for anyone in their right mind to digest even for the Rishis and Lamas in the mountains of the Himalayas as they live under the oppression of one form or another. Here in my country newly born infants are found in toilet bowls and the rich are bound and determine to out do one another at the expense of their fellow poor.A child is shot by a fanatic for expressing her outrage against inhumane act against the rights of women in Pakistan;  madness at its worse manifestation. What are we becoming if not worse than the animals in our acts and we keep claiming how civilized we have become.When Malala Yousafzai, the 14-year-old peace activist from Pakistan, raised her voice against terrorism and advocated education for girls, she was shot at and seriously injured by the Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP), which triggered a wave of revulsion with girls across the nation saying ‘I am Malala' in support of the braveheart

We are ever ready to die in defense of our faith and beliefs but blatantly ignore our corruptions and accept injustice if it is done unto others.We are willing to spend all our wealth to go on pilgrimage ( some more than necessary), visit our holy lands while our neighbors scourge the streets for survival. When will we ever learn?

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.

Aldous Huxley

My mechanic friend, Ah Huat' told eme to chill and not take upon my mind too much of the negative vibes that is affecting our humanity as there is not much that can be done about it but  will only give me migraines. My eldest brother came to visit and left but there was hardly any bonding between us anymore; we were like strangers; then again we never did too much talking in the past anyway. As I approach the end of my days I am beginning to see the futility of my existence, I am just another 'brick in the wall'. I find myself being here just to fulfill the option of being given life and time to live my life out. I watch my children each manifesting their own characters and i wonder what will become of them; I feel more fortunate than most others whose children has fallen to drug addiction or crushed under lorry while riding home from school. Chill, my mechanic friend said, all these are part and parcel of your own manifestations. How I wish my mind can be like his; concerned only with the nuts and bolts and what makes the engine run.
In my country politics has become a decease of the mind, the cause for fighting is no more the right to justice and freedom but what is in it for me, my wife and kids. sit and listen in any coffee shop and all you hear is how the government or the opposition is corrupted one no better than the other or how the people are being bamboozled by those they elected in the past and there is none that they can trust to replace these in the future. Most man on the street are at a lost, scared and disillusioned and most have given up hope for any consolation as their fate and the fate of their future generations are being played like a game of Monopoly by those in power. Most I have talked to have practically lost their faith in country ever being able to correct itself for a better future and the specter of racial confrontation looms in the horizon. Dear God, when will we ever learn?
And the point is...

"The problems of the world are so colossal, so very complex, that to understand and so
to resolve them one must approach them in a very simple and direct manner; and simplicity,
directness, do not depend on outward circumstances nor on our particular prejudices and moods.
As I was pointing out, the solution is not to be found through conferences, blueprints, or through
the substitution of new leaders for old, and so on, The solution obviously lies in the creator of that
problem, in the creator of the mischief, of the hate and of the enormous misunderstanding that exists
between human beings, The creator of this mischief, the creator of these problems, is the individual,
you and I, not the world as we think of it. The world is your relationship with another. The world is
not something separate from you and me; the world, society, is the relationship that we establish or
seek to establish between each other..."
Hence, like a dog barking up a tree, I write my thoughts out just because and I seek the words and thoughts of wisdom so as to share with those who are with me in some small way understand the why or how. I am find myself not too far off the mark when i embarked upon this self- study, this self discovery of who I am and how i fit in the scheme of things. Although I still find myself whirling and drowning into the cesspool that is called living, I am comforted by the fact that the answers are readily available if i look for them hard enough and the Internet has been a boon in this respect.

"So you and I are the problem, and not the world, because the world is the projection of ourselves
and to understand the world we must understand ourselves. That world is not separate from us;
we are the world, and our problems are the world’s problems. This cannot be repeated too often,
because we are so sluggish in our mentality that we think the world’s problems are not our business,
that they have to be resolved by the United Nations or by substituting new leaders for the old. It
is a very dull mentality that thinks like that, because we are responsible for this frightful misery
and confusion in the world, this ever-impending war. To transform the world, we must begin with
ourselves; and what is important in beginning with ourselves is the intention. The intention must
be to understand ourselves and not to leave it to others to transform themselves or to bring about
a modified change through revolution, either of the left or of the right. It is important to understand
that this is our responsibility, yours and mine; because, however small may be the world we live in,
if we can transform ourselves, bring about a radically different point of view in our daily existence,
then perhaps we shall affect the world at large, the extended relationship with others."
So, back to square one. I am the problem and the problem me says get off the computer and go get your daughter's bus ticket back to Cyberjaya! The rain outside has stopped and the roads should be okay.

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.

Aldous Huxley