"Just Being Me!"

Tomorrow the seventh of July I have been invited to join a few fellow Penang Malay artists to have a workshop or demo at the Penang Art festival event which will take place at Armenian Street close to the Masjid Aceh or the Aceh Mosque. The event is being sponsored by the Penang Ilamic department and along with the Museum Galleri Tuanku Fauziah, USM. The event will begin at nine in the morning and there will be other cultural events in conjunction with the Penang Festival.
Enthusiasm!! It will be a sure test of enthusiasm as I am really not up to anymore in entertaining the public with my works but the promise has been made and the Way demands that the service to others comes first, not my personal grievances or whether i am up to it even physically not to mention how my mind will take it after being under so much external pressures. It would be easy to stand up and yell I HATE MY GOD GIVEN TALENT!! and slip away into oblivion waiting for death to end it all... it is also called retirement. But it would be nice to retire with a package all set like working for the government for most of your life or the pickle factory day in day out accumulating your KWSP or whatever... I have been spared all these luxuries, I was too busy most of my life with my'Self' and my self does not pay well.
Acceptance works in times like these where the mind is looking back in regret at what could have been or what should have been, the mind is doing regressive tour of the old fuck- ups, something or someone to lay the blame on for having doubts now. I am sure I will enjoy the show like I always did in the past, its all in my earlier blogs.We had a great time last year, hanging out on Armenian Street! I have bought what I need for tomorrow and I have a good idea what i will end up doing, Insha' Allah. If you have time come hang out with us, it would be nice, we could start something like the Haight Ashbury of Penang or the Bangsar of Penang.
In my old age i am beginning to get a little more cranky i am finding out and having a meaningless converstaion for the sake of talking is becoming a pain for me. I hate when someone comes up to me while i am deep into doing a piece of drawing and say,"Are you an Artist?". Duh!!.
But in life you will have to accept that the fish is always tastier on the other guy's plate and the power of the ego is much alive on this planet we live. Making the ego an enemy is not such a wise idea even if it is your own and you are looking for liberation or enlightenment, the freedom from the bonds of your egoic mind.. The Ego is something you subdue through Compassion and right Understanding, through Acceptance of the fact that the ego has its role to play in life no matter how insignificant a role the ego fulfills a need of the spirit in order that the spirit can become aware of the need to liberate itself.Just as God needs Satan in order to make man, His creation more human in nature.Man would be no better than the angels if he had no adversary such as the Archangel to con him into believing that Satan really exist, the scapegoat, the fallen angel...blame it on him for all your woes and surrender to God your will Insha'Allah that you may do no wrong at the End of Days. I know I am being placed at here at this moment in time for a reason most of which too far -out or too tedious to explain but here I am! Sitting here and writing all these and not getting paid a single cent while on the other hand spending my own to get here and so forth...shit! Why? God made me do it? The Universal Spirit or the Collective Consciousness make me do it? Why? What for? Am I doing any good to the whole? Am I contributing, am i serving?
When I think of politics in my country I visit Raja Petra Kamarudin's Blog, The Corridors of Power or No Holds Barred.at the Malaysia Today website. The man spells it all out for me and then some. I wish every clear minded open heart educated Malaysian could spend sometime reading RPK and his insights into the politics in Malaysia. His taking whacks at Powers that be on both sides of the political divide makes for food for thoughts.Why does he do it? What does he hope to gain other than being exiled from his country and threatened with all kinds of accusations. Why does a man who has almost all that he needs in life and then some would spend his life being a pain in so many butts in this country? He has a cause and he is pursuing his calling, right or wrong for better of for worse he will keep on taking to task all who deserve his rage and he does it like it is a form of art. His is the creative act of politics, his ways, thoughts and ideas and not to mention the sacrifices he has to make are all part and parcel of Being in the Now, being who you are being Enthusiastic about living and acceptance of what comes with Being who you are. Having attained this stage in life you are destined to become larger than life.
This is the responsibility one takes upon oneself and no one offers it or forces it upon one, it is a role one has been selected by the Universal Unconscious for you to play in this life or at least to help keep check and balances when things gets too out of hand albeit the government or the opposition. They call them the 'Equalizers." In some traditions they are known as the 'Watchers or Winesses." They are awakened and they are serving humanity in their own ways.    
" In the past ages, they would probably have been called contemplatives. There is no place for them , it seems, in our contemporary civilization. on the arising new earth, however their role is just as vital as that of the creators, the doers, the reformers. Their function is to anchor the frequency of the new consciousness on this planet... they are here to generate consciousness through the activities of daily life, through with the interactions with others as well as through "just being."
In this way  they endow the seemingly insignificant with profound meaning. Their task is to bring spacious stillness into this world by being absolutely present in whatever they do, even the simplest task. Their purpose is to do everything in a sacred manner. As each human being is an integral part of the collective human consciousness, they affect the world much more deeply than is visible on the surface of their lives."
                                                                                                           A NEW EARTH
                                                                                                           Eckhart Tolle.