Where do I draw the Line?

Last night or very early this morning I had a blowout with my son Karim who is now nineteen going on twenty? It has been in the making for a very long time but I have been keeping it under the lid believing in his capacity to live and learn. But too bad I misjudged my son assuming that he has more to offer than an arrogant, self centered and ungreatful attitude of your average teenager who is approaching adulthood.
I was pissed and grabbed him by his neck ready to land a punch had he made any wrong moves to further fuel my anger unleashed. All he said was "I dont Care!!" I wanted to yell into his face that that was all his attitude had been eversince... But it was in the wee hours of the morning and his sister dragged me away. I stepped outside and chained smoked trying to calm myself down and review the situation and all i could come up with was if he dont care why should I? or why should anyone for that matter? Caring is one hell of a heavy trip to bear especially about someone you brought into the world changing his or her diapers from day one and still making sure that he or she has had dinner that evening at the age of 20!! Then they snap at you while talking to someone on the phone like," Shut up!!", which my daughter did while i was driving her to work. And now my son is showing his teeth all for the wrong reasons, all because i asked him to remove the dishes from the bedroom after we had our late dinner. Small matters can make souls burn in hell sometimes.

Karim is going through what most teenagers go through at his age and it is understably so as i too had passed through this passage and in comparisson his trip is much more sane than mine. I just have to learn to communicate with my son on his terms rather than impose my terms on him. It is not easy to grow into adulthood not knowing or having any sense of direction or definite goals, it can be frightening in these days and age and especially having a father like me! But I still have great faith in my son no matter and love him irregardless as i love all my children for whatever they may be worth. I can only hope that there will come a solution to his stagnation at present which is primarily what is the root cause of his rebelliousness.
It has been on my mind lately to up and continue on my journey free from any restrictions family or otherwise and I told my daughter while driving to work this morning that that day is drawing near. All my kids are adults now and can handle life on their own pretty much and i have put my life on hold for the last twenty years attending to being a family man meeting all my obligations as a father. I maintain that i am not the best of fathers but in the process of becoming one i have set aside my own life as i would have chosen to live had i no responsibilities to dwell upon. This I had done when I divorced my first wife and had to give up my first son, I knew the feeling then and now what it takes and what it had to offer in return...this freedom from CARE!!