Perjalanan Roh ( Journey of the Soul)

I had a sobering experience last night after reading this book written in Bahasa Malaysia about the journey of the soul from birth to the afterlife. What I was awakened to was the part that categorized me at sixty as among those who is considered in the age of "renunciation' as far as a Muslim is concern. Getting myself to leave this material life and focus on the afterlife, to surrender all that has been accomplished and not hanker anymore towards achievements and fulfillment of dreams and visions. I and all those of my age group should be spending our time in the Mosques and madrasah atoning for our past transgressions and make amends with the Al Mighty to garner His Compassionate Grace before it is too late as we will never know when the big one is going to hit us and deprive us of the ability to perform these mental and spiritual ablutions. According to the Prophet of Allah(PBUH), sixty plus is the best years that a man should die ni this day and age of His ummah (followers). I agree absolutely, I hate to be dragging my feet getting to the hole in the ground and I'd rather depart while my mind and body is still alive and concious capable of going to the toilet on my own and wiping my own ass.
Wishing for death is a sin however according th Islam. one is to live all the alloted years of our lives to the fullest benifiting ourselves and others in the process her and in the hereafter (if you believe). Practice of piety and charitable acts abandoning all hopes and aspirations of this world for that of the next is highly recommended for one who has turned sixty, hard to find a companion or soul mate at this age in other words if you really think about it my days of wine and roses are over by Muslim standards!! Like listening to Pink Floyd (correction, David Gilmore of Pink Floyd) in their latest ablum entittled The Island or something to the song 'Blue". Whatever happened to the fiesty raw Acid Rock of the old days Pink? Gotta Take a Breath! Is this all there is?, the peak of Mystic Mountain the end of the road to the glory of lvivng? Whatever happened to the cynicism and the rebellious rebel where has he hidden himself succumbing to the inevitable days of retirement and complacency? Is this all there is to be hail about this so called life when death is staring you in the face from all nooks and cranny and yet refusing to make any attempt at carrying out its duty of ending this show once and for all? Why does one has to wait for the final cut when waitng itself is an agony 0f hopelss boredom and despair, why exist when existence itself has become an admittence of regrets and remorse towards what was and what has been...NAAH!!! "there is still pieces yet to fall into place... so bake the bread and pour the wine...I need no blessings for the counting mind.. "
I'd rather be playing Rudy Toot Toot To The Moon than sit on my hands waitng for death to awaken my senses and cry foul at all the inequities i see all around me. I"d rather stand tall and deliver than stoop on my bended knees cowering for forginess of the life i had chosen to live for I am a believer. I believe in His infinite Mercy much more than His wrath, for my lord is the Lord of Compassion a Lord of Mercy, a Lord of Love. Had He wanted me to live a cowardly life He would have switched my life with that of my twin brother, Nauzubillah! I may be on the wrong side of the raod most of my life but i feel i have lived my life on my terms and not according to anyone else's. I am not guilty nor afraid it has been the roll of the dices througout my life that I have followed I will go on living in wonder of what will be but now without my dreams and aspirations burning till the end for this is how i believe He would want me to live, this my Jihad!
"Where we start is where we end... The day is done... the sun sinks low...its time to go...back to the twilight... home again... " David Gilmore.