My blog has been boring as hell of lately as my life is not any better. Why the lack of lustre and go get her spirit of late? Perhaps I am asking for too much this late in life where most retired working men have gone to the pastures for the R&R before the Eternal Journey towrds the final resting grounds. Well I always believe life begins at Sixty! Yessir! At sixty everything you do will acccount for all the things that you have not been able to do for the past fifty years simply because for the time- space conciousness. Like 'time is money', no enough time to do this or that, or how time flies...at sixty you stop giving a damn about time. Other than having a lunch time and a bedtime time is irrelevant to a sixty year old timeless man. Unless one is still resposible to keep in touch with time for the benifit of others in one's life such as the kids and their schedules. I look foreward to the day that i can wander out of this time space capsule I am logged into and just exist mindless of time and space... insane perhaps but still...
I look foreward to the next sixty years of my life with great hope and gusto as to what will be in store for me and my children, but then again Allah may have a different schedule for me to work with like my death would be alot sooner than I anticipated; I leave that up to Him and nope I am not fully prepared to cross the 'Sirat'al musta'kim' nor for the voyage in the hereafter. Many, many loose ends to be tied and lots of unanswered issues still floating in my mind with regard to this material world. Like Who or What Am I? And how do I fit in the scheme of things in this so called life? Yes my old 'Koan' still haunts me and will do so i guesse, till end of days. I am still riding 'Suzuki Roshi's 'Zen' Train' although no more guided by a beginner's mind, I still every now and then experience the mini satoris of a Zen student but they have somewhat become polluted by the everydayness of life. Not - athing special about them as they used to be.
The Fasting month is almost coming to an end instead of losing weight i might have gained a few pounds but that too is irrelevant just like time is, I still do my repertoir of exersises just to keep my muscles from getting droopy and my bones greezed. I am having sleep disorder but fastin months does that to you, stay awake at night and sleep in the day, Karim has made that his full time practice. Even as I am typing I am having difficulties keeping my eyes open and it is 9am. The hardest thing i find about growing old is to keep this mind ever alert and active, challenged and confronted, enlightened and fully lit. To keep myself from tripping on things beyond my scope of activities and controll like worrying about what would happen to Aung San Suk Yi or will the West ever come to see islam eye to eye or will the climate warming ever slow down or will Barak Obama make a difference... an the list is endless as these global as well as local events keeps invading my thoughts and conciousness despite my effort to meditate them out.
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