The Simple Twist of Fate....

I spoke to my son for the first time yesterday morning when he called me from Switzerland and it was an awkward if not scary experience for both of us, I know it was for me in the beginning. After a while i realized I am talking to a young adult Swiss who spoke with a heavy German accent. We spoke for a few minutes about him coming to meet me in Dubai and I could tell that he was very excited and yet due to his lack of fluency in English had a hard time communicating his feelings. Timo was almost eighteen when I found out that i had a son living under his grand parents' name in Switzerland and he got in touch with me through the email after discovering who i was via my blogging (?). I never had the slightest doubt and accepted him as a part of the Bahari clan for what it is worth. I sensed a very angry and confused kid back then and not that I can blame him, however he had the Bahari genes in him and the Bahari spirit of, Never say die and there is a meaning to all these if we see it through to the end in a positive spirit of living life rather than moaning and groaning about every ups and down in life.

I met his mother while i was living and practicing Zen Buddhism at the green Gulch Zen Center in Sausalito, Marin County, California. We did the practices period together and got to know oneanother up close and personal too close perhaps that resulted in my having a child without knowing about it untill eighteen years later. God Is Great! That was how I felt when I first receved the news in my email and yes He works in mysterious ways indeed. To have a child out of wedlock is a big NO! NO! by any dogma or religious equations but to deny my resposibilty of
my actions is an even greater sin in my equation. So as i said before in every prayer or when I tyalk to my Maker I say a special prayer for me and my son that we can one day make right what was considered wrong, how, when I left it to the AlMighty in His infinite grace and Compassion. In my life there finger pointers and accusers of my 'wild and irresponsibles ways', these ther will always be forever till the day I depart this physical life. To these I can only say that if their fingers are absolutely clean of sins they have not lived life and what a bloody shame to have merely occupied space and time while all the time hiding behind their piety and selfrighteousness.

On the twenty fifth Timo will arrived here to be with me and his older brother and we will get to know one another on this neutral ground of Dubai, half way from Swistzerland and Malaysia, where we will be together without any close relatives or friends to interrupt or distract us with their curiousity and judegemental minds. The Creator has arranged for this to happen for me perhaps to enlighten the burden I have been carryin g in the form of self guilt and regrets. He has given me the opportunity to perhaps erase my Karma with my son and truly embrace him as mine here and in the hereafter. To perhaps be able to ask for forgiveness for the blunder that has caused him his early years in life without knowing who his Dad was. I have no regrets for what is done is done and the AlMighty is to me still OftForgiving and allows for things to happen for His reasons and His alone, I am merely the player and played my role as I am still. I welcome my son with open heart and soul and if as written in the scriptures that I shall suffer the wrath of my Maker for my transgressions in the afterlife, InSha'Allah, so be it.

In this life, today, I have four children, three boys and a beautiful girl and what more blessings can I ask? Three are Americans and one a Swiss their grandparents on my side are made up of my father who was from Sri Lanka and my mother who was born in Medan, Indonesia, how global can one get in a gene tree.




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