The last few days has been a drag as I felt wasted with not being able to create or do anything worthwhile to justify my presence on this plane of existance. It has taken me a great effort to get myself here the USM Museum gallery and get this blog down but I fell asleep instead after the lunch I had in the back room. My mind will just not function hard as I tried to get it to express whatever that is causing it to become petrified with the hope that it will cause a release of any blockages. So I am writng it down this attempt to break the iceburg of slothfullnees and stagnation of my mind. Perhaps it has to do with the unevernfult life that i have been leading just worrying over petty issues of daily living, perhaps it is part and parcel of my ageing process, the mind is becoming lazy!Whatever it is i am going to crack it open and hopefully bring this cold spell to a halt and let in some sunshine
into what is threatening to become a dark spell.
Enlighten yourself I kept telling my daughter, make yourself light, let go of all the heavy stuff and dont let ignorance drag you down like a gravity. Thats what it means to be enlightened i told her,to become light to be free spirited, to be bright as in the limelight and not become a prisoner of dark and gloom. This i told my daughter when she asked me about the word 'Enlighten- ment' a couple of days ago. This is waht i have to remind me of my present mental predicament. I have to step into the light and i have to shep off this cloak of heavyness and gloomy clouds approaching on the horizon, I have to enlighten myself before it is too late. So I went to pray at the mosque last night for the magrib and the Ishak prayers and while waiting in between I sat and meditate and did my Zikr. I was hoping that whatever is riding my back like a camel into the desert of uncertainty will be ripped off by my being in God's house and reaching out for His intervention.
I have entrusted some artworks of mine with Lee Khai for him to have them framed if he finds them worth framing and also for his safe keeping at the Alpha Utara Gallery and we had a good discussion about how or what to do with my upcoming show at the Gallery in Late August or September. I was not surprised that he found my latest works especially those of my larger pieces in oils are too 'controlled and constricting'. He thought that i shouild let go and be free in my expressing myself like i used to do in the past as he thought my bold strokes are my strength. I agree with him to some extent but on looking back I realized that what he saw were not my latest works but works worked upon from the past few years ago. These oil paintings were done since 2001 while I was living in Terengganu and I had kept them as it was my believe that they are never finished and will be worked on till they are sold or destroyed or if and when the horses jump out of the canvass or the bird flew free into the night skies. I actually have no new paintings except for the ones that i am working on at the USM Museum gallery.
I told him of how i cannot afford to get me some new canvasses and materials to start on some new pieces and he agreed to get them for me if i want him to. I have to take on his offer and I hope this will lead on to a partnership between him and I where my works are concern. I am glad that my works will find a venue where tey will be readily able to be viewed by potential buyers as the Alpha Utara Gellery is one of the more well known Art Gallery in Penang.
Well not bad so far for a mind that is suck in a rut and not being able to let loose and come up with something creative for the day. This piece of writng itself is testimony to how and why if the mind is pushed it will perform no matter how trivial of boring the outcome of its producution is at the end of the day. having written this blog itself is a feat that not many who has not the ability to write will find it phenominal as it tkaes some doing mentally if not intellectually. It has also allowed me to see and express my thoughts over saveral issues that has been running in my mind and needed to be confronted. Yes these are petty- anny issues not worth a blogging, but what is the purpose of my blogging? I am not blogging to entertain anyone in particular and much less critisize or badger the government for its incompetenceies, no sir, I blog to unravel my thoughts, I blog to unwind my confused state of mind, I blog just to ramble on about my life to see if anything makes any sense in the long run, if there is any nuts and bolts that needs to be tightened or a loose wire that needs to be properly fixed. I have been blogging for the past few years and it has helped me to find my perspectives in life and not all these perpectives are right perspectives but they are still the perspective that i have been able to spot and noted just as the reason why I kept an on going journal in my sketching books. During my earlier school days my teachers had encouraged us students to keep a diary so that we can improve on our writing skills, I should have taken up on that suggestion.
This last piece of writing is added after reading a book caleed "Rahsia mengenal Nafsu dan Cara Mengawalnys" a book of Imam Ghazali's teachings.
After reading a few chapters of the book I come to realize where my fauult lies. I had eaten too much and my stomach was filled to the max thus causing an obstruction of my mental faculties!! Listen to this..."Barang siapa yang kenyang dan tidur maka keras membatu hatinya". The rsaul of Allah.
"Perangilah hawa nafsu mu dengan lapar dan haus,kerana sasungguhnya pahal mengenai itu sama dengan pahala dalam jalan Allah, dan saungguhnya tidak ada sabuah amalpun yang lebih dicintai Allah daripada lapar dan haus."
Rasullah (SAW)
I can go on with all the elightening quotes from the prophet of Allah on the subject of being frugal in food consumption and the wisdom of fasting of veing in a state of hunger, but time is running out for the Musium is about to close. So Asta majana!
into what is threatening to become a dark spell.
Enlighten yourself I kept telling my daughter, make yourself light, let go of all the heavy stuff and dont let ignorance drag you down like a gravity. Thats what it means to be enlightened i told her,to become light to be free spirited, to be bright as in the limelight and not become a prisoner of dark and gloom. This i told my daughter when she asked me about the word 'Enlighten- ment' a couple of days ago. This is waht i have to remind me of my present mental predicament. I have to step into the light and i have to shep off this cloak of heavyness and gloomy clouds approaching on the horizon, I have to enlighten myself before it is too late. So I went to pray at the mosque last night for the magrib and the Ishak prayers and while waiting in between I sat and meditate and did my Zikr. I was hoping that whatever is riding my back like a camel into the desert of uncertainty will be ripped off by my being in God's house and reaching out for His intervention.
I have entrusted some artworks of mine with Lee Khai for him to have them framed if he finds them worth framing and also for his safe keeping at the Alpha Utara Gallery and we had a good discussion about how or what to do with my upcoming show at the Gallery in Late August or September. I was not surprised that he found my latest works especially those of my larger pieces in oils are too 'controlled and constricting'. He thought that i shouild let go and be free in my expressing myself like i used to do in the past as he thought my bold strokes are my strength. I agree with him to some extent but on looking back I realized that what he saw were not my latest works but works worked upon from the past few years ago. These oil paintings were done since 2001 while I was living in Terengganu and I had kept them as it was my believe that they are never finished and will be worked on till they are sold or destroyed or if and when the horses jump out of the canvass or the bird flew free into the night skies. I actually have no new paintings except for the ones that i am working on at the USM Museum gallery.
I told him of how i cannot afford to get me some new canvasses and materials to start on some new pieces and he agreed to get them for me if i want him to. I have to take on his offer and I hope this will lead on to a partnership between him and I where my works are concern. I am glad that my works will find a venue where tey will be readily able to be viewed by potential buyers as the Alpha Utara Gellery is one of the more well known Art Gallery in Penang.
Well not bad so far for a mind that is suck in a rut and not being able to let loose and come up with something creative for the day. This piece of writng itself is testimony to how and why if the mind is pushed it will perform no matter how trivial of boring the outcome of its producution is at the end of the day. having written this blog itself is a feat that not many who has not the ability to write will find it phenominal as it tkaes some doing mentally if not intellectually. It has also allowed me to see and express my thoughts over saveral issues that has been running in my mind and needed to be confronted. Yes these are petty- anny issues not worth a blogging, but what is the purpose of my blogging? I am not blogging to entertain anyone in particular and much less critisize or badger the government for its incompetenceies, no sir, I blog to unravel my thoughts, I blog to unwind my confused state of mind, I blog just to ramble on about my life to see if anything makes any sense in the long run, if there is any nuts and bolts that needs to be tightened or a loose wire that needs to be properly fixed. I have been blogging for the past few years and it has helped me to find my perspectives in life and not all these perpectives are right perspectives but they are still the perspective that i have been able to spot and noted just as the reason why I kept an on going journal in my sketching books. During my earlier school days my teachers had encouraged us students to keep a diary so that we can improve on our writing skills, I should have taken up on that suggestion.
This last piece of writing is added after reading a book caleed "Rahsia mengenal Nafsu dan Cara Mengawalnys" a book of Imam Ghazali's teachings.
After reading a few chapters of the book I come to realize where my fauult lies. I had eaten too much and my stomach was filled to the max thus causing an obstruction of my mental faculties!! Listen to this..."Barang siapa yang kenyang dan tidur maka keras membatu hatinya". The rsaul of Allah.
"Perangilah hawa nafsu mu dengan lapar dan haus,kerana sasungguhnya pahal mengenai itu sama dengan pahala dalam jalan Allah, dan saungguhnya tidak ada sabuah amalpun yang lebih dicintai Allah daripada lapar dan haus."
Rasullah (SAW)
I can go on with all the elightening quotes from the prophet of Allah on the subject of being frugal in food consumption and the wisdom of fasting of veing in a state of hunger, but time is running out for the Musium is about to close. So Asta majana!
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