Out 07 In 08

The year 2007 had been another memorable year in my life where the major shift being the fact that I had decided to to be gainly employed with a monthly income guranteed and a boss or bosses to please. I decided to become a full time artist putting my life and my children's daily needs and future in question. I was laid off from working at the Jerejak resort and SPA sometime in the middle of last year after my contract was now renewed, again I was earning too much for a job that was considered too easy and with the availibility of cheaper labor in the form of foerign employees the management at the Resort considered me a baggage to be released. It was time for me to make the change from being dependant on earning a wage to being independant and strike out on my own focussing my attention on my artworks and selling them.
It has been roller coaster ride eversince bothe the ups and down equally educating and humbling in terms of my experience. For the past few months eversince I have had days when I wondered where or how I am going to survive daily, however through my available time which otherwise I would not had I been emplouyed, I was able to meet many new friends and peears and fellow artists who had in one way or another guided me encouraged me and even financially support me to keep me and my two children in the grid. I have come to learn that the time I had been spending at so called being employed had deprived me of many moments which had enriched me as an artist and I had been able to produce more artworks isince than I had ever been able to before. I am also less uptight than when I was working as I have no one to answer to and not have to look over my shoulder to make sure that i am not being stabbed in the back by those that were vying for my position or felt threatened by my age and experiences as when i was employed. Financially too I have had alot better days days than when I was earning a specific amount every month, the sales of my works has been able to keep all three of us afloat and then some and the ehlp I got from sympathetic and understanding friends have made it easier for me and even more so made my life more meaningful in terms of the learning curve- I am more humbled and am beginning to experience compassion towards myself and in others.
With the step I am taking into the upcoming year I feel alot more confindent and in many ways alot happier with what life has to offer and my zest for living out my remaining years productively and with meaning is becoming a reality for; it has dawned upon my conciuosness it is not a matter of if I am rich or poor or that if I eat or not, what matters is that I am thankful for all that i have had all these years, that i have been blessed with a life full of roller coaster rides and I have rode them and survived to write as I am about them. I am thankful for all those great men and women who have shared my life at any given moment in time for better or for worse and I am thankful for those that had been my close companions, my soul mates, my redeemers and my protectors, those i knew of and those I knew not. I am thankful for having a good health throughout my life thus far except for the occaisional injuries and illnesses that an average person might encounter in his or her lifetime, it is a blessing for me that I have been spared of any major life terminating illness. I am ever grateful for my strong mind that have seen me through the best of times and the worse of times allowing me to act and be who I am making all the errors and accomplishing things that not too many can claim to have. I called it HUMIND, the human mind the instrument most powerful in the Universe that the AlMighty have created and i have been able to put it to the test by allowing myself to live this life to the maximum in every respect. Whether in my times of weaknesses or in my times or superior being I have watched my mind, coerced my mind cursed my mind moulded my mind, encouraged my mind and respected my mind for it has faith fully seen me through thick and thin and for this I am forever indebted to this faculty that is a vital part of myself.
Even if O7 has left many scars on my ego, my little mind the year has also seen a moral and emotional booster towards my sense of well being, my sense of who am I? The relationship I have with my two children is a loving and a very happy one at least this is my own inner feelings about it. The fact that I am not able to provide them with the best what life has to offer, (Whatever that is), I feel is a blessing in disguise for them have learned what it is not to have and what it means to take on responsibillities and make the best of what is at hand. Not to expect too much or feel ashame for not having but to keep and open and positve attitude towards what they already have for they from having experienced not having will one day know and appreciate what it would be like to have. I went through these motions and events in my own journey through life and I can really share with them through ymown personal stories, my own personal actions and accomplshments, success or failure is relative for what matters at the end of the day is how I have lived my life and how i will bring it to a fruitful and well meaning finale.