The last message that I got from about my wife in Columbia Illinois was that she had lost her senses and ran out of the house later to be taken to a Rehab Center. I am not toatlly surprised by the news however am very sad for her and for my children here who i have not told about his latest turn of events. They are going through enought as it is and there seem to be no end in sight. Its a shame for a person who has devoted her life to the persuit of her career as a teacher to end up in a mental home. The Gods must be nuts!
I have been working at the resort fr the past wo months now and most probably bee doing so just to keep my head above water. The job is quite exciting at times and ttotally boring most of the time and so i kept a few books around just to fill the time. Mostly the books are on Sufiism like books by Ibn.Arabi and Kadir Jailani.I am doing a study on the deeper aspects of Islam with the hopre that i can culminate it into a comparative study between Islam and Buddhism. Perhaps turn it into a Master's Degree reasearh paper.I have been hanging out with a few friends with simmilar intrests here and have been into a lot of discussions on the subject.
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Hey Dad sorry for not be giving any lifesigns but, i had a prob with mom, and got my wire cutted(but i think you had enough to do...).
Now I m living in swiss and have a good start into freedom...(ok ok Im living at my grandparents but im earning my own money)
Im also sorry for what happend to your wife, but maybe shes feeling better the way shes now? Don`t you now the feeling when just everything seems to be F**ked up and you just want to get totally nuts because you can`t stand it?
I now it, 2 years ago I decided to be a little time crazy and they put me in a Psychiatric ward for youth. Many people would now maybe like to say: "That must have been terrible." But I think that
getting crazy is just the changing of how you handel your mind and it`s connectivity to the world.
I think if you find your "Final target" the sense of your life, your body will stop being a tool to find this "target" mind would cut all ways out and in and your mind would be only filled by what people call happiness (I would call it knowlege). And I think it works the other way round, too. If you get crazy, outer world with it`s problems (but with it`s pluses, too) looses importance and the only thing that is still important is mind.
Maybe that sounds like its cruel or something but I like the thought that, if theres no way out I can still make my body my castel and be just existing as something "thinking but not behaving" that is not disturbed through the things that make out the human world.
But another thing, do you think I`m allowed to see you ever in real live?
I would like too see my dad, my third homeland, the people living theire, and maybe add another way of seeing life to me.
Don`t have to be now, but in this live if possible, just think about it.
ly Tfa
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