The Bell Master

For those who have taken the time to read this ramblings thus far it may seems like I have nothing better to do with myself but to air out my dirty laundries for the world to see. You are not far from the truth and as a matter of fact I am confessing myself wholeheartedly for the sins I have committed and if by now you are still not turned off stick with me for you might still learn a thing or two from all these. I will not be able to divulge the whole truth as some of it may be too discriminating against me in the eyes of the law both in this life and in the hereafter or it might hurt those who were involved. I am walking on thin ice and safety warrants that I thread with care.

In the study of Zen Buddhism the Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh has made the greatest impact on my life. This small frail looking monk once appointed me the' Bell Master' as he called it while doing a retreat at Green Gulch Zen Community in Sausalito, California. He decided that since I liked to ring the bell so much often at the wrong times I should be given the task of ringing the bell every fifteen minutes while he was giving a class and when the bell is rung everyone was required to take a deep breath and clear their heads for one minute of silence.

It was during a ten day Vaipasana retreat and one day I decided that I was too tired to join the sitting meditation and decided to take a nap instead. In my sleep I had a dream and I dreamt that I was crouched in a corner among some rocks overlooking the whole Green Gulch valley facing the Pacific Ocean. It was as though I was hiding and as usual up to my mischief. I decided to give a loud yell or Kiai at the Universe and as I did so I watched to my horror as the hills around me started to shake and those at Muir Beach near the ocean started to crumble and fell into the sea. I became scared wondering what my practice leaders would do to me if they found out what I had done. Then I began to realize how stupid and paranoid I had become that I should worry about what these individuals would say or do when I could bring the hills down with one loud roar. I woke up from my dream immediately and went to the big bell hanging from the tree outside the meditation hall and started banging on it while about seventy to eighty people were sitting in deep meditation inside the hall. When I was done I went back to my room and lay down. After a while the Tanto or practice leader came and knocked on my door and peered into my room. "Are you all right?" was all he said and left me.

Later many of my fellow practice students came and told me that what I did had awakened them from their slumber as most of them were falling asleep at their seats. I was never punished for what I did except for the reprimand I got from the Vietnamese monk who made me the Bell Master. On one occasion I had the opportunity to meet him one on one for a Dharma talk and I asked him what I should do with my life. He told me to continue on being who I am and that I should consider about becoming a Buddhist monk. Having found out that I am from Malaysia he also asked me if I could help him make contact with the Vietnamese refugees or the 'Boat People' who were interned on the island off the Terengganu coast. I told him I would gladly do it as one of my sisters worked as a nurse there (This was sometime in1984-86). Incidentally the island called Pulau Bidong is visible from where I am living today and as a matter of fact as I am typing this on my lap-top I could see the island but for some trees blocking my view. Thus every time I walk to the beach or drive out of the road that leads to my present home I am reminded of my Zen Teacher the Vietnamese Monk,Thich Nhat Hanh.