Living in Daly City -San Francisco - 2

I was working for a Produce Buyer and as part of my job it was to drive a produce truck to the San Francisco Produce Martket at around midnight and fill up my orders for the next morning.. After I have completed my purchasing I would  drive all the way across the bay bridge to Rockridge Mall where i would stack all the produce i bought in the cooler there. 

In the day time i would find my way to my favorite haunts like the Green Gulch farm and hang out there with my friends. Sometimes i would hang out at the Golden gate park to do some sketching there.

I did this sketch off a painting on the wall of my dentist a Dr, Ringrose who place two caps on my molars on the left hand side of  my jaw that is till this day still intact after almost thirty odd years, however the real teeth underneath are being infected and starting to decay, causes me pain when I chew.

A section of the Rockridge Mall where I would do my unloading of the produce after my night purchase at the SF produce market. I worked for Del Tomaaso produce.

Most of my time when not moving around was spent at the back yard of the house on Delrose Court in Daly City a place i rented a room along with an Architect and his Filipino Girlfriend. Tom Thompson was a very hyperactive character who  had allot to share.

 Allot of my time was also spent at the Museum of Natural History in the Golden gate park of SF. I spent my time studying all the stuffed animals behind the glass cases. I would spend hours sitting on the floor doing these sketches while being observed by onlookers.  

I lived in Daly City for a short while but my life there was yet another experience that I look back upon with allot of  fond memories as well as a whole lot of regrets.. Somethings you can't change but you have to just live with it.

Living in Daly City - San francisco

A Malaysian Trip

My Malaysian Journal from one of my trips back home. 

Stumbled upon a n opening of a show at the MAYBANK building in KL. I was visiting the central market area to find out what was going on  with the street artists there.

The then Minister of Culture, Officiated the show.

Visited my twin bropther and his family; he was doing very well for himself.

How many times and how many Airports have I sketched throughout my years. 

Why i fast.

It is the fasting month and like every other fasting months I find myself trapped between reality and illusions, between spirituality and religious showmanship. I have no problem with hunger and thirst and already have forgotten the need for cigarettes. My problem is in not being able to accept the whole ball of wax about Religions as a whole. Even as I am writing this I am forced to listen to a preacher preaching from the next cubicle where an office staff has it going on from You Tube out loud enough. It seems like as i am getting up there in age my mind if not that which has evolved over the years into who i am is not quite comfortable with what is being fed to me through religious practices and belief systems.
Needless to say that religions have been hijacked by political entities to garner control over the masses where force and economic constraints have failed. This happens in all religions on a relative scale and in almost every country around the globe. Some of these have taken the worse turns that has till this date is causing untold miseries and environmental disasters all in the name of religion with the motto, God is on our side. The killing fields are scattered all over the world and humanity has become comfortably numbed in accepting the atrocities that is being afflicted by one group upon another. Picture of children screaming and brutalized forms scattered across the streets has now become a common sight being shared by viewers on the Internet - ironically to be 'shared and liked.
Perhaps in fasting these pandemonium, this chaos that is proliferating like mushrooms all around from one country to another is being made aware of as we each become aware in ourselves what it is like to be hunger and thirst that is suffered by those in the war torn zones. But i feel highly unlikely as i see the amount of food being consumed and the amount of money spent during the fasting month exceeds what is normally spent on a normal day. Instead of loosing weight I found according to statistics that more weight is gained during the fasting month by most. By right i believe it is during this month that each and every individual is left alone to his own devices in his relation to his Maker. This should be a time of absolute privacy where a man search his soul for answers with no interference from outsiders; he can choose to fast or not, it is simply between him and God.
Fasting is not merely abstaining from eating and drinking or harboring negative thoughts or unhealthy behaviors, fasting during the month of Ramadan is a month long purification of one's inner being and feeling the connection between one's self and one's Maker. In fasting one opens the door of one's faith towards the existence of the All Mighty and that you have come from Him and will return unto Him. During this Holy Month one is reminded of the covenant made between the Soul and God prior to conception; hence the Shahadah- There is none but Allah to be worshiped. 
As one's senses is being heightened through hunger and thirst, through abstaining of pleasurable and mind altering mediums, one becomes aware of the collective spirit that is suffering throughout the world and ideally would be more sympathetic and merciful towards the pain around us. It is in this sense that fasting in the month of Ramadan becomes a collective effort. Through our fasting as a whole we come to realize the need to help in easing the suffering of our fellow man and help to bring the conflicts to an end by whatever means possible. This is my reason for fasting during this Month of Ramadan; heaven and hell has very little to do with it.

Kuala Terengganu in Reflections.

 Terengganu is one of the most beautiful state in the country with a long stretch of golden sandy beaches from the north on the Kelantanese border all the way south to the Border with the State of Pahang. All along the coast fishing was and perhaps still is one of the main occupation except during the monsoon season when the seas would be too rough to handle by the smaller fishing boats. Today if you ask anyone living in the state you will find that food is very expensive compared to other states and fish is one of the most expensive commodity and never fresh. It is  said that most of the fish being caught were sold by the fishermen out in the sea where buyers from neighboring countries pay a much higher price for the catch.

'The Penanmbang" or ferry boat that takes one across the river is still in service when i was last in Terengganu..There is no sign of upgrading the services or the physical appearance of the boats. In a way it is a blessing as the river crossing itself is an experience worth taking the trip. The sound and smell of diesel engine and the assortment of riders makes it a moment in time.

The ferry remains the same while the jetties were being renovated and upgraded time and again. Not too many people use the ferries anymore these days but they still make a good trip up the river on a scenic  tour if one has a small group of people.

When not fishing like on this Friday, the fishermen hang out at the coffee shops watching WWF or World Wrestling Federation cheering for their favorites like the Rock and Triple H 

There is always an assorted crowd and all sipping Kopi o or Teh Tarik the local favorite drink as there is no Liquor allowed.. The conversations over nothing in particular will always be loud and  sometimes aggresive.

Along the beaches are also found shacks where fish are processed like for drying and for the making of Belacan
a kind of fish paste the is used for cooking or making chilli paste. Terengganu is famous for the production of 'keropok'a kind of fish chips and the state is also well known for the fermented fish called 'Budu' which in days gone by was what most of the people ate with their rice during monsoon seasons. It is the most smelly and disgusting looking thing left under the house to ferment and often infested with maggots, I love it. 

Time Out!- The fasting Month has begun.

Making Art a life long activity is possible if it is not turned into a the only source of income in your life, this i have come to realize over the years. One has have to have an alternate source of income no matter how small it may be but there must be something coming in other than selling you art. This may not be true for everyone but for me art has never earned me a steady income and i have a difficult time selling my works, I get this feeling like I am pandering my self esteem, like I am prostituting myself, like my works were being sold off to cater to my needs. I am wrong off course, and has always been so as my pride if not my ego has stood in the way of my meeting my financial daily needs.

My art has served me as a record keeper of activities that I have experienced or gone through as I live my life; it serves as my diary.

 Watching over my elder brother till his death in the ICU from Kidney failure. I sat with him for two weeks till the day he passed away. I did a few sketches while i was doing this and had much thoughts about death and dying.

Visiting an Art gallery in Jogjakarta. I met several  Indonesian artist while on my trip to Jogjakarta which was then on the road to becoming an cultural city for country.

Each and every sketch or drawing carries with it a story, an episode or an event in my life and sometimes they become a proof of whatever i claim in my talks or when I tell my stories. I was there and done that and it says so here.



 

Van Seumerren Rom Star.

Harry was the project Lifting Supervisor and Van Seumerren employees were mostly Ibans from Sarawak.for obvious reasons. For one i noticed that they are a close knit group that work closely to each other without complain. They were also a highly disciplined lot that were each responsible fro what they were assigned to do.

Van Seumerren crew wore all red coveralls that stood out in any project they q\work at. I was worn with pride as it was striking in appearance..

The guy on the right was one of the only locals not an Iban, he was a local Malay and equally goo at what he does. Heavy lifting takes a whole lot of pricision and caculations especially when it is carried out in areas where viisibility is often obstructed by structures.  Precise communnication was carried out to ensure the load was being delivered where it was needed to be.  

All  kinds of shape and sizes were lifted and delivered on to racks where they were bolted down as soon as they wre located.

Getting ready for the next lift.

My job as health and Safety Officer.-

It has always be my wish that i could experience working at a construction site and get a good feeling of what it was like working in the hot sun laying cables or hoisting beams, or laying a concrete pour or constructing scaffolding and so forth. my job as a health and Safety Officer fulfilled this wish for m in more than one way. Above sketch I got to witness how the pilings were done from ground up.

Hauling huge structures from one locations to another  was a job in itself  that required experts in handling traillers and 'Low Boys'. 

One of the companies i worked for was a heavy Lifting Com[any = Van Seumerren Rom Star considered to be among one of the largest Heavy Lifiting Companies in the World. I was a Dutch company but my boss was a Britiish by the nme of John Derrick, a good Manager of men.

I witnessed all kinds of construction that was possible only at such a site as the Refinery as it was a highly technical project  and employed the est in the Industries.

The site Safety Team was led by a Safety Specialist named Steve Morton who took his job as seriously as his job title suggested. Steve was a no nonsense Safety man. His Motto was always "Let's Make it Happen,"

There were more than ten Safety Officers on the Site off and on as companies comes and goes and each had their own ways of operating but at the end of  the day Steve Morton has the final say..

My family trip to Penang - to become Muslims.

It was the fasting month and this was at the Kota Bharu Airport on our way to Penang where we were going to perform our marriage in the Islamic way. The young ladies were suppose to be serving customers but were too tired from fasting.. However the sign did say self service.

My wife and children passed out at he Sri malaysia Hotel in Penang after a long taxi trip from Kuala Terengganu to Kota Bharu and a plane ride from KB to Penang. This was sometime in 1998.

M y cousin brother drove us back  and forth to get our paper works done which icluded  getting my wife converted to Islam and then getting the maariage ceremony done in the Islamic way.

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For three days we drove back and forth from the religous department to  various other offices and finally with the help of the Khadi we were officially married in Islam. It was one of the most painful experience we had to endure for the three days and I was totally  disgusted with the Islamic Religious Department in Penang and i was so sad and sorry for my wife.

I remember my  wife crying in the hotel room after we had went through the ordeal of getting her converted to Islam and she said to me. "You told me it was all going to be an easy anf fun affair!" I did not know how to answer her except that God was testing us.

It seems like i was making one mistake after another ever since we returned to this country..

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Opening the an of worms - my life in Malaysia.-2

When Anwar Ibrahim the former Deputy Prime Minister  in a bid to justify his contentions made an appearance to give a 'ceramah' located at one of his supporter's home located along the beach at  Batu Buruk some time in 1998, I was there. He was not allowed any piblic venue for this talk so it was an illegal gathering. I was there out of curiosity as i had no interest in Malaysian politics or politics in general, but i was curious about the charismatic man himself. I have read his book one of which i had donated to the Sendai International Center library in Sendai, Japan; Asian Renaissance, if I am not mistaken. Not thinking of the ramifications of my action i was sitting up front and got carried by his speech the result of which i was captured on camera by the local TV station. later i was informed by my eldest brother that my being there had caused my twin brother who was then a director of Kraftangan somewhere grief with his boss; we are identical twins, hence the error. Thus began again our bad blood upon my return from Japan. His wife made sure that I was not left off the hook every chance she got to remind how inconsiderate I was. 
My late wife, Nancy Buss Bahari was hired to teach at KUSZA through the recommendations of my eldest brother who was also then a part time lecturer at the college. She taught ESL and Japanese having a master's degree in English and a certificate in Japanese speaking and writing; her salary far from reflected her qualifications and experiences having taught at UC Berkeley in Sanf Francisco and 10 years of Japanese studies in Japan. I felt sorry for her more so because teaching was a passion for her. She would have earned twice if not three times more if she had been teaching in Japan or the United States. It was in her nature never to raise a word of complain in these matters and so she did her job as a matter of course. The only complain I heard from her once was that  a few of her text books she had from from Japan were missing that she believed they were stolen.
Our next door neighbor at Bukit Kecil, in Kuala Terengganu was a mechanic for the police force and a very religious man. Every night we would go to his home and pray while also learning to read the Quran. Through him i was recommended a job as a Health and Safety Officer for Ibai Bina, a construction company that was doing construction work in Kerteh for the Petronas refinery. With my qualifications from having been trained in California in Health and Safety while working for H&H Ship Services, I was hired. I commuted back and forth from Kuala Terenggnu to daily till I found a cheap car and a place to stay in Dungun which was the closest town to Kerteh. Thus I spent most of time away from my wife and children even as they were learning to cope with changes in their lives. my next door neighbor and his family were a blessing during those times. My wife being a survivor adapted to handling the situation as best she could driving back and forth from her work and taking care of the children with their schooling. 
I decided to move my family closer to the college where my wife was teaching so she does not have to drive too far everyday. We settled down at a place called Telaga Batin very close to the Kuala Terengganu airport and the Military camp. It was relatively a very quiet area during those days and the problem we had was motorcycles drag racing back and forth in front of our house at night. Kids who were understandably bored stiff with their lives living is the area where there was practically nothing to do for excitement raced their bikes at break neck speed back and forth for kicks. It got to the point where it was impossible to sleep at night and so i go into action along with a group of residents in the area to put a stop to this.

To be contd.






   

Opening the can of worms- My life in Malaysia.-1

After having lived abroad for 24 odd years, why did i chose to return to Malaysia in 1998 when the former Deputy Prime minister was running for his life from one accusation after another from sodomy to corruption and abuse of power. Why did i listen to my heart of hearts and brought my family to this country and worse yet, why did i chose the east Coast State of Terengganu where the mentality of most of the Malays were and perhaps still are, 'Bodo bodo sombong', translated to simply means arrogant and ignorant, to me more like proud to be stupid. Oh, but there are there are some who stands out or tries to among the people but by comparison far too few to cope with the masses of ignoramus who sees themselves above and beyond being told of their ignorance; I have lived among these people for more than fifteen years of my adult life to be able to make these observations. 
Yes, there is today no doubt in my mind that I made an error of moving from Sendai, Japan to Kuala Terenggnau after having lived in The United States and Japan for the previous 24 years of my life. The biggest tragedy that i faced was being played for a fool by my own family of brothers and sisters who i came to realize were busy putting me and my family up and cutting us down whenever and however they saw fit. Being married to an American and having children of mixed is the last thing you would want to bring to the east Coast State of Kuala Terengganu, especially when you have sibling rivalries from way back when with a whole lot of axes to grind for the manner in which you have let them down and how you have chosen to live your life. It was an error i have paid for dearly and so had my wife and children.
My wife succumbed to a mental breakdown that led her Alzheimer's and later her demise upon returning to the United States to seek medical treatment. The College that she had taught for almost four years and loved by all her students did nothing to help her or my family out in our moments of need and support and this being a well known 'Muslim College.' Kolej Agama Sulatan Zainal Abidin which has today been upgraded to a University. Oh, everyone felt for i am sure and not that she did not have many close friends and colleagues at work, but it seemed like they simply were not even there to offer a word of comfort or help when things got real bad for her loosing her mind. As matter of fact there were those who took advantage of the fact to better their position in the event that she left her job. I watched and I listened , helpless at times to make any protest for her and I felt only remorse and pain for her that had threatened to boil over on many occasions, but when i thought of the consequences that would affect my children and their future, i had to swallow the bitterness.
My two children were abused by being bullied in school from day one as they did not speak Bahasa Malaysia and what was worse, 'anak Mat Salleh', white kids. All these i could watch and hope that they would survive as they had survived their 3 years in Japan having no knowledge of the Japanese language and lifestyle. Deep within, my hope was that all these would only help to strengthen their resolve and characters in later years of their lives. However on looking back today i can see that they still carry with them the scars they had been afflicted with by their peers most of whom were Malay children with their 'kampung' or village mentality that had issues with non-Malays and especially non-Muslim background. 
Yesterday my son Karim,now 24  or so has for the first time laid all the blame on me for what happened to his mother. What is sad is that I am also being accused of being lazy and that I am in his mind the worse person and has always been so. All i could say was, what took you so long?