Sitting at the edge of Time.

 I watched a slither of a moon accompanied by a bright star slowly disappeared behind Penang Hill into the darkness. I watched fireworks accompanied by thunderous cracks that shattered all the peacefulness of the environment with blazing colored lights bursting brightly for a second and dies into the same darkness of the night skies. This is the third day of the Chinese New Year after all and Penang is predominantly Chinese and so as to be expected there is festivities in the air still. I was listening to Neville Goddard on my handphone while sitting outside, It was a deep talk on empowerment, "I can do what i will todo," I can do anything, The eleven weaknesses to let go off in order to become master of one's consciousness itself or something like that starting with doubts, separation, comparison, and so forth. I fully understood as I was listening and felt almost absorbed into the teachings but I was still not able to let go of the baggage i still carry. My mind still would wonder off every now and then despite the depth of which I was into the lecture; human mind indeed has a mind of its own. As long as it took for the crescent moon and her companion bright star to disappear behind the hill,  my consciousness was held by the darkness of the landscape before me, nothing last forever as light turns to darkness so, darkness turns to light at the break of dawn. Life flows on like a river down to the sea, there is no turning back except by transformation...Change, letting go of the past and adopting the future. Mental transformation, letting go of old and insignificant thoughts and ideas, letting go of stories and outmoded dreams and imaginations. Taking a hold of the genuine state of Supreme Consciousness, Supreme Being, Supreme Soul and living my life from this 'Dharma Position.' 

 I keep talking to myself of this ,"Dharma Position,' something I read and was impressed with the concept of this Buddhist Principle. It was one of the Sutras of the Buddha's teachings, something I read when i was hibernating at the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, located in the Big Sur off Carmel Valley in Southern California, one winter night. I felt it to be very solid where human expression is concern, like the declaration of I Am That I Am. When I address someone i am presenting myself as a whole, sum total of my entire state of consciousness, this is who I am and this is where i take my stand in addressing you at this moment. I am the Complete and perfect Divine expression manifesting from within my Supreme Consciousness and making my self known as who I truly am. I am not just an ordinary being drifting through this dimension like dust in the wind, I am a reality in itself, I am Eternal and Immeasurable, I was never born nor will I die when this physical form disintegrate and return to its original components. I will journey on into other forms and dimensions as I see fit, transmigration is a part of my nature in order to evolve into my higher nature as I already am manifesting. I am Complete and Perfect, Strong and Powerful, Loving and Compassionate, harmonious and Happy. I can do what i will todo; InshaAllah! This is not something I am repeating after listening to uplifting podcast or some fantastic motivational videos, this comes from the heart as it has always been there ever since I was born. Sometimes I fail to acknowledge or recognize the presence of this my Original Buddha Nature and dare to declare my true Dharma Position  whenever I express myself or manifest my imaginations. I am fully aware of who I am in every moment of my existence even if at times I find myself doubting and drifting from my center loosing the Dharma footing ending up making errors and mistakes that demands attention. When this happens I meditate, I listen to the Blues or some Country and Western to remove myself from getting too serious about what i pay attention. This is where NETFLIX and MAX channel comes in handy and not mention YouTube and Facebook. They all play a role in my overall coverage of who I am. What matters is they are all take in a good balance neither too seriously nor too lax; The Middle Way.   

                                        Meditation can happen anywhere and at anytime.

When sitting in Nature and vast open skies with hills and lakes, this is the best place to be in order to observe your inner being, the movements of your thoughts and consciousness and being is tune with the Universe. There is nothing out there one soon realizes and that everything is the manifestation of what is within; you are creating your own environment, your own space, your own manifestation of an imaginative mind. It is the Year of the Snake according to the Chinese Lunar calendar and the snake's main attribute is Wisdom followed by Change, as in letting go, moving on leaving behind and I look forward to this year as the year i fulfill all my dreams and desires accordingly. I am a Chosen One, I Am That I am. InshaAllah.

 

Its time to Let It Loose.

Time to look seriously into my plan of no plan in entering the next phase of entering the Gateless Gate or the path towards Enlightenment, "Ihdinas Siratul Mustakin..." The Straight and narrow Path of the Prophets, Saints and Rishis...the road to find out, to uncover and discover the Truth that is within The Truth. This is my Path of ]Dakwah]. My sharing of what i have learned and experienced throughout my life, as a testimony towards having walked the Path the not many have and discovered the True Nature of my Being,captured and manifested in all its forms, Who Ama I? I AM THAT I AM!,,,Am I? At midnight last night the skies all over the City of Georgetown lit up with Fireworks and the atmosphere was shattered by thunderous boom and rattles that must have scared the other creatures into their burrows and under the beds. Happy New year! Qungxi fatt chai! Yes welcome the Year of the Snake, (wood snake they say), hence a Year of Wisdom and Change! I wonder if we are seriously making the effort to change as from what we are at present we are definitely not doing to good where human suffering is concern and no to mention the suffering of other sentient beings living on this Planet alongside man. I do not need to keep barking up the same mountain with the details of what we are doing to ourselves, it is Viral! We all knows it and taken much of the crap for granted or to busy with worries of our own to care. So we make as much noise as possible and lit up the skies with bright colored lights that littered the night like stars for just a moment before snuffing out beck into darkness. The Chine usher the New year with loud noise while the Hindus light up the universe with lamps and the Muslims celebrate the New year with Spiritual Practices of fasting and extended prayers, this is what unifies this Nation on a Spiritual Level or will tear the Nation apart simply because mine is the right way, the better way the more supreme, the one and the only one, mine! My Race and my religion and i am willing to die in defend of it! This was what the May 13th. incident of 1969 was all about; the failure to communicate.

I can keep on rambling about the Race Religion and cultural dilemma that my country have faced and will be continuing to face into the future until some major change takes place through divine intervention or collective awakening of the general population towards becoming an all inclusive nation where there is only one race and that of being a Malaysian. This is wishful thinking although not absolutely impossible. For all the racial groups that makes up this country to come together in perfect harmony it would make this a great nation. The Malays, Chinese and Indians along with the other various groups found in the States of Sabah and Sarawak such as the Ibans and Bidayuh, the Kadazans and the Murut people, then there are the minor groups of Sikhs and Expats European who have made this country their second home; Malaysian is a very rich nation in terms of race, culture and religions. Sadly not many are awakened to this fact and instead chose to sow discord instead. The shift from a well guided democracy towards Kleptocracy and Race/ Religion based politics is taking a toll and corruption and negligence of duty is making this country bankrupt of its resources turning abundance into despondence. The best I can do for now is to have some understanding of what is happening in and around me as to what is happening to this country after over 60 years of Independence in 1957 after I was born in 1949. 

In the meantime it is 3:5am and there is a Liverpool soccer game at four which my son wants me to watch with him; he is now snoring loudly on the sofa. I woke him up at 4 but we could not watch the game as it was not televised on the Astro Channel as it was supposed to. Anyhow I learned later that Liverpool lost the game 3-2, the first game they have lost for the season that i know of ever since they were led by a new coach/manager, Arnie Slot - a Dutchman who replace the legendary Liverpool coach, Jorgen Klop. Truth be told, I  was never a fan of soccer much less watching the games on TV. This was until my son who is hard core Liverpool fan talked me into watching the games with him about three - four years ago while Savio Mane was still playing alongside Mo Salah. Now I know most of the players and a little of the the Liverpool Soccer Team History. It was also the one way I could bond with my son who I was beginning to loose touch with back then; now we never miss a game even if it was at four in the morning.  Such Is! and this too will pass...Ha!

The stories we leave behind as a legacy for our children and theirs, it has to be genuine and pure, no holds barred! "If you wish to write something make sure that it is worth to be hung on the wall," someone once said just as if you wish to stir the fermentation in the jar make sure you dip your hand to your armpit. Go all the way or no way at all, however if you chose to walk the path cautiously you choose the Middle Path, it is easier and safer and it will get you across. And if by chance you find a follower or two that you can lead, help to point out the doors, scrutinize the options, make life more of a heaven than hell. blessings be unto you. In this day and age one has no excuse to claim ignorant of any given subject when it is all at the tip of your fingers. It is a matter of are you awakened or sleep walking your life. However 'ignorance is bliss' or so they say, and they are right. Ignorance allows you to be complacent and life becomes one long time of eating, sleeping and shitting and then we die...and that's ok too its destined that we do this. To go against our destiny means to take the challenge with a complete believe and impeccable faith that we are the Creator of our Destiny.  

                                                    The Crimson Skies over Penang Hill.
  

   

                                                  

  

   

Drill! Drill Baby Drill! God Bless America!

 When Peace prevails war ceases to exist and when peace prevails humanity attains its highest essence of  creativity and production giving life what it is meant to be.; Unboundedness. Limitations drops off and man can attain to his highest scale of expression and nothing is impossible. This Peace or Consciousness is what lies within us hidden by the clouds of discord and conflicts the result of not knowing our true nature as Divine beings existing in human forms. Man is trapped in the illusion of self doubts and ignorance the result of an evolution of external influence in the form of upbringing, education and struggle to survive; he becomes a victim of circumstances which dictates his course of actions leading to his present predicament of self defeating and self destruction mode. Hence the Buddha in his teachings declared that life is suffering and that Ignorance and Desire is the primary cause of suffering. 

"There is no greater sin than DESIRE No greater curse than DISCONTENT,                                                He who knows that enough is enough, WILL ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH."   - Lao Tzu.

However it is human nature that enough is never enough and having more is the norm regardless if at the end of the day the more becomes a wasteful hoarding and resulting to clinging and holding on to never able to let go, often also resulting in a state of miserliness and covetous nature. In its extreme form this attribute left unchecked will lead to a state of greed, another cause of human suffering and greed has been known to be the cause of the fall many civilizations in the past not to mention the disintegration of a family unity. Greed is the seed of corruption, of disregard for the welfare and well being of others especially of those that are being left under your care and responsibility. It is the cause of the abuse of power that you are being appointed to and many a nation and community have suffered through this wanton disregard for the sanctity of the position of power. It is indeed sad to witness the decadence of society due to these negligence of our human frailties when it comes the management our voracious appetites; when enough is never enough. I have often asked myself what it means to have enough, to own what I truly deserve to sustain my life and my desires as a human being. What do i need that don't already have and herein the answer presents itself. I have enough of what truly need more than enough often but what is never enough is what I want. What I want and what I need are two different aspect of desire, one is legitimate while the other is ephemeral. How often does one ask, 'Do I need this?' or 'OMG! I want that!'  

"I could see that the white man did not care for each other  the way our people did ... They could take everything from each other if they could... some... had more than than everything that they can use, while crowds of people had nothing at all...This could not be better than the old ways of my people."        -Black Elk -1863 -1950

When the prophet of Allah returned from successfully defeating his enemies He is said to have said to his warriors that," You have now won a battle but the greater Jihad is the one that you have to continue fighting within you." This is the struggle every man has to endure till the end of his days and that is to subdue his Ego or Nafs. The first two of the illnesses that the Buddha had revealed in His teachings that being of ignorance and Greed inadvertently leads to Anger which manifest in the form of  conflicts, violence and chaos. This third of the three illnesses that man is affected with since the beginning of time is the cause of so much pain and suffering all over the world today much more so than at any time in human history. With the event of Donal Trump being elected the President of the United States it looks like things is going to get much worse as he has already started his campaign of taking what does not rightly belongs to his country. This is the epitome of what it means when enough is never enough and ignorance leads to arrogance and power leads to corruption in an individual who holds the means that can lead to conflicts and more destruction. Trump backed by three or four of the most wealthy men on the planet is beginning to play his role as the Big Bully on the Block instead of becoming a beacon of hope through compassion and love Trump chose to take to the darker side of oppression and suppression of the already suffering planet. "Drill, drill,drill! " his clarion call symbolizes greed and annexing of Canada and Greenland is pure ignorance of a man lost in the delusional grandiose; the All Mighty Ego has come to manifest itself in the form of a Shadow of Humanity; the collective negative manifestation that is bound to lead mankind down the road to perdition.

"Hypocrisy is a compliment that vice pays to virtue, meaning you know what you are doing is wrong you don't admit to what you are saying, you are hypocritical. You don't really believe what you are saying. Why do yo do it? Why do you do it? Because you know that is wrong and the thing about the New Trump administration is they feel the need to pat that compliment anymore, they don't have to be Hypocritical, they are just going to say what they will." - Norman Finkelstein on the New Trump Administration. 

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.                                                   Mastering others is strength, mastering your self is true power."  - Lao Tzu

Donald Trump has no true wisdom or true power, he is just another puppet of the dark side of human nature governed by Greed, Hate and Ignorance.

     

 

 

   

Notes to Myself ...

 "Imagination is the workshop of the mind it requires focus and clarity to operate, when you visualize your desires in silence you eliminate distractions..." ...N. Goddard.

In this day and age distractions is the norm especially is one is a City dweller and the kids are all computer wiz who spends their days with their faces buried into one kind of gadget or another from at the dinner table to the toilet seats. In this I include myself guilty as charged and so, how does one focus one's mind upon a single pointed attention like a Samurai blade maker or a classical pianist? The old saying that one has to run to the mountains or seek out a cave is not viable today unless one lives close to any of these, yet there are ways and means and all is a matter of how bad does one need to find the solution or resolution. This one has to ask oneself and if one is persistent enough and are willing to take the steps towards taking that journey of self discovery there is a chance that one can find the answer to one's dilemma before it is too late like yours truly where age and mental fatigue has taken a hold of one's senses

. Distractions not only stands in the way of concentration, they become an addiction that requires attention for most people.

                                    What is external is a reflection of your inner consciousness. 

Over the years of my Blogging I have emphasized on the fact that the human mind is like a sponge that absorbs all that it touches, sees and taste, it is capable of taking in things that we are not even aware of at a glance and store it within somewhere. These distractions will at one time or another pops up in the form of thoughts or in dreams and one is left wondering where it all came from. Then there those thoughts and memories that were generated and experienced in the past, that were mostly unresolved and is carried forward into our consciousness till today demanding attention when the is room in the mind to slip into in between the silence we try so hard to achieve, through all the practices we have learned like meditation and so forth. No matter how close we come towards attaining a state of  mental silence we find that there is always a thought or two floating around in the background of the mind itching to poke its head and announce its presence to be dealt with no matte how small or insignificant it may appear to be. How does one stop the thinking mind from creating thoughts; we cannot except through a lobotomy. The brain is by nature a sponge and it can never be squeezed dry no matter how hard we try once it is wet, only time and persistent will do the trick; leave it alone and it will dry up. The mind is not your enemy but a tool, an instrument that like the brain has no sense of purpose or direction unless you, the owner instruct it, guide it, nudge it accordingly. Everyone knows this but most do not make it a practice to understand and utilize the mind.

                                 Treat your external as your canvass and paint it with your heart.

I have been repeating the same old story about this mind of ours over and over not because I have run out of tales to tell but simply because I am telling the same narrative to myself so as to keep my mind from shifting into the same rut whenever I get complacent and I do get this way ever so often. One of the ways one can keep from drifting into this state of complacency is, I find, to remember your Maker or Creator or the Universe or whoever and whatever that you have your faith in out of a sense of gratitude for if nothing else, just to be alive and especially healthy. All great religions and spiritual ways have the same remedy where the mind is concern; do not allow the ego to ride and abuse the mind with impunity. The ego too is not the enemy and do not treat it as such as this will incur its retaliation demanding its space in one's life. Give it the space but know that you are the giver, the master and not the other way round. Most great teachings would insist that one try to eliminate the ego totally and this is ideal but it is not an easy task, for the more one tries to dismiss or remove the ego the more it clings to you, imposes on you and demands its right from you. The ego is as much a part of you as everything else that you have projected and part of being a human being is to have the ego as a companion that is like one's shadow. This shadow has no mind of its own but what you have put into it throughout your life, it is both a friend and a foe.  

                                 In the Silence of Consciousness You touch Nature at its Essence.
  

 

They say to Create Your own Space if you want to do some serious work.

 What's the Plan?! That's what the Universe wants to know exactly and precisely with no doubts or regrets, what is the Plan? What are we asking, who is asking? Who is wanting, needing, looking for handouts from whom? No second thoughts, or no thoughts at all for that matter! The Plan is No Plan. None whatsoever at the present state of consciousness, state of being, of awareness, No Plan! Can't find ant that makes sense and anything and everything that rises as an intuition sinks back into the subconscious or somewhere where all wasted, discarded or even useful ones are being filed away stashed to be dispose off at a latter date or never, they just lay there and rot away into oblivion at least this is what I have the impression how my thought process functions, then I could be wrong about the whole thing so don't take my words for it, take your own journey and discover for yourself what I am talking about. As yourself, what is the most important issue in your life, what are your priorities in life? While asking yourself this question reflect upon a small strip of land called The Gaza Strip. No matter what or where or when we are at, we must always be aware of our original nature, that was before we were conceived by our parents; There is no Plan, never has been! It is all part of the plan of No Plan. Truly i say, I really have no clue as to what I am aiming for but I feel fine as I have never felt before in a long time: I Feel At Home!

                          I am listening to a Neville Goddard podcast very early in the morning.
 

                 Asked my daughter to capture the moment as the morning sun hits my shoulders.

                When at home, be home. Create your own space in the corner and meditate your life away.

So, what's the plan? The Plan is to stop the mind from doing too much planning, stop looking for things that are not there and start looking for answers from within who you are. What is there that keeps you going despite all the flags saying it is all for nothing, nothing is real , all is illusion, give up seeking and the desire to become something, as you already are, you are here in the moment, here and now how much being here can you be without any doubt? This is where I am at! This is where I stand/sit as where my Dharma Position Is. I look at the Universe like a mirror and it looks back at me, this is the moment in space and time where my consciousness is present in perfect and complete attention. I acknowledge it an I move on, but I am aware, moment to moment i am  aware as much as I am aware when I pause in my breathing, or in my mind between two thoughts... this is where I am at; The Silence! It is not an easy space to arrive at and much harder to stay put in it too long.  

The Plan is still the same old plan, No Plan. Life is one long experiment and through trials and errors, ups and downs, success and set backs, each moment is an experiment and each moment a conclusion; there is no plan. Plans are made for structures , bridges and buildings, a vacation or getting admitted to the hospital, got to have a plan for action just to avoid unforeseen circumstances, you have a plan and some even a back up plan.  My planning days are numbered and what i have to play with is vastly limited due to my age and physical limitations, however I will not allow this to affect my intentions, whatever that may be. I trust my intuition for things to happen all in good time or as they are saying on YouTube, the Universe has its Devine Timing; I will stick with that 

This is What I Imagined of myself to look like As I grow old.

 I started to listen to Neville Goddard Life changing videos on YouTube quite recently and am blown away with  what I am hearing. Most of what he is talking about hits home straight to my heart like He is addressing me personally, mano a mano or man to man. What a brilliant  and awakened mind who say it as it is without any hesitation, hitting the nail right on the head. I feel much weight being lifted from my shoulders, a baggage I have been carrying around out of ignorance towards the depth of my understanding of who I truly am; I am still thinking of myself small and insignificant while my intention is to become one with the Universe or absorbed back  into my Divine or Original Nature, to become One with God. I have always felt presumptuous to equate myself in any way with God however a part of me believe so, that I am my Father's prodigal son and I want to go home to be at His side. I have missed His Unconditional Love and yearn for His Grace and Infinite Mercy and Compassion. I am eternally grateful for all that I have received throughout this life, good or otherwise and I am thankful for being whole and complete in my physical form and mental state and enjoyed these gifts for the past 75 years and still kicking.

Woke up this morning and looked at myself. Just as I had imagined!

The comments I got from my Facebook post of this picture is hilarious!

Someone from Salt Lake City, Utah, thought I looked like a 'Sage.'\

Another from New Zealand called me Santa,

and the most hilarious one of all is one from an old friend who was in fact the first love of mt life. We stayed apart, my bad but its for the best...then who knows what can come out of this...She said I look like Jesus Christ! INDEED and Honor! Yes I accept that i do look like Jesus, or Joshua, or Isa ais. He was/is a great Man, A Prophet of The Lord. Yes! I am more than proud to accept the comment although I personally feel like I look more like Moses...then again, Beauty is to the eye of the beholder...they say. 

" You are God's Greatest Creation and in focusing on yourself, you are focusing on God and in this Divine focus all things are possible, all dreams are achievable, all desires are attainable. Remember this Truth, Live this Truth, Be this Truth. For in doing so you are fulfilling your highest purpose in contributing to the Evolution of all Consciousness." - Neville Goddard - Focus on You People come and go.

This wisdom is not meant for everyone and I believe one has almost to earn the rite to receive this teachings especially when it well presented on YouTube. The reason I say it is not meant for everyone is not because most will not understand but simply because it is a part of of my journey and my own projections that has manifested in the form of a great Mind presented in a collective effort through technology and mass media that spoke to me what I needed to hear. This is the nudge that is shifting my direction towards where i need to be headed. This is synchronicity in action where according to the law of abundance, where like attracts like, I am being exposed to this higher wisdom elevating my understanding of what my intentions are and where I am headed for.  In the meantime I am sitting here meditating and contemplating over what is goin on or what will happen in the course of my journey, like how far of how near am I from touching the foot stool of the All Mighty Lord of Creation. Perhaps as Neville would have it I am already standing and facing my Lord and not know it because I am still wearing my blinders, my veil of ignorance that is blocking the reality of what is before me with the illusions that I been creating all along in the effort or get to where i want to be. Herein is the catch where i am stuck in groove of ignorance and repeating myself over and over of how to get to where i want to be and yet not having a clue of where i want to be as my perceptions and understanding evolves and change and with every evolution and changes I am caught again and again by the fact that I am clinging on to what is holding me back for safety and comfort that I am accustomed to. In essence I fear of letting go in its absolute sense of letting go.

                                             I could have played Karl Marx or Victor Hugo

I imagine myself standing on the precipice of a mountain side and staring ahead into the abyss and below me is a deep gorge and I am lost from having drifted for so long aimlessly until I reached this edge where taking my next step will prove the end of it all; what next? Is there a next? I can turn around and make my way back from where i had come or take that leap of faith and face the consequences of my choice. The third choice is for me to simply make myself comfortable and sit at the edge and meditate  and contemplate upon what is before me and what I have left behind me. What lies before me, the abyss, is the unknown and the unexplored as opposed to what I had left behind is the challenge I am facing in order to continue my journey, for as long as I am breathing in and out, I am bound by the laws of action, of motion, of taking that next step. Do I step forward or do I retreat. Life i am finding more and more so is a matter of making choices, taking chances and discover what lies beyond; to take that 'One Step Beyond.' is the challenge, the gamble, the way towards my personal liberation from the bonds of what is familiar and safe, to taste what mysteries the unknown holds for me and am I able to cope with and hold on to the truth that will be exposed as I tread forward. Armed and protected by my understanding and consciousness do I have the confidence to step into the abyss before me with no doubt or fear but with total faith in the Grace of God within me: I walk henceforth with God beside me and the consciousness of being inside me. It is what i have been doing but not with full realization as I am still locked into not knowing who I truly am or accepting the fact that i am already there where I want to be.

                                       Now I know what I look and feel like with full Beard.

"The Power of your assumption, when persisted in, becomes your reality, this is Law, just as the seed contains within itself the full potential of the mature plant, your consciousness contains within itself the full potential of all you desire to be. Most people exist throughout their lives without realizing that their imagination is the substance of their reality, they see imagination as mere fantasy as something separate form what they call .'Reality...You never attract what you want. Your consciousness contains all that you desire to be,  you attract what you are and what you are is determined by the state you occupy in consciousness." - Neville Goddard.

 

      

LA is on Fire - While I am wondering what next.- B&W Photos by the Late Prof. Ismail Hashim (Photographer).

 Listening to -The Root Chakra - 396 Hz video on YouTube. _ From The Power of You.

Why? What's the pleasure or purpose? What a waste of time! These are the reasons why I have been doing it as one of my 'Sadhana' or Practice. Getting my neuro-synchronicities in alignment, like the cells are all acting in alignment with the flow of energy throughout the body. Its one of the those technological discoveries that I am attached to for a number of years now.  I find nothing special except it helps to keep my thoughts from flying all over the east Coast; I think too much! I count my blessings for being able to keep remembering to rein in my thoughts whenever they start to ramble on in ten different directions all at once. Surrendering usually works, like giving it all to God or the Universe to bring it all into focus or better yet,  into silence. Cooking is one way that works very well too or taking a walk to dump that garbage that has been sitting in the corner and no one seems interested to deal with it. Watching a movie or two on NETFLIX or MAX or even YOUTUBE can do the trick, not the best method but if all else fails; I like to occupy my time writing, listening to inspiring and meaningful talks on diverse subjects especially those that touches on spirituality and philosophical/ psychological, worse comes to the worse, listen to George Galloway ,Max Blumenthal or John Stewart on Politics. There is no doubt that meditation and contemplation top the list of activities in one wants to procure peace and silence devoid of mental formations. 

How do I become the truest version of myself? I am already. I have been progressing towards becoming who I choose to be despite minor regression and setbacks which are part and parcel of who I am. I enjoy being who I am and am discovering more and more of what I am capable of and how i can relate with all around me without any doubt or hesitation and I find trusting my intuition more and more readily when making up my mind to take any move or action. I have slowed down from making impatient and rash move when making a decision or moving into action. I am contented most of the time with what  I have and how i truly feel. However with what is left of the remaining time and health I am going to make things happen to fulfill my intention of leaving behind me a legacy that my children can be proud of if not at least not be totally disappointed at how i have wasted my life. I keep telling this to myself as a reminder of what my intentions are and has been and do my best to fulfill them. It has been my principle that i would undertake a course or challenge and see how far i can take it before it meets a wall and can go no further. To see how far this would go and what the outcome would be. It does not really matter if I become rich or famous from it, what matters is I set a course and followed it through like I am doing right now, this Blogging.

I have been experimenting with my life for as long as I can remember. I have been taking chances and making bets, trusting my gut feelings and intuitions, I have built relationships and destroyed some and built and burned bridges behind me, just to see where my actions would take me, whether to a higher or lower level of my existence in terms of  success and achievements or falling flat on my face in failure and decadence. Life to me is one long experiment and I am now beginning to write the conclusion as I wind down in age and run out of energy and the desire for more. I feel it is past the time in trying to create something new beyond my scope of attention, I feel it is better for me to wrap up what i have set forth to accomplish and post it as a grand presentation for the world to share.  My legacy ? What is my legacy but the stories i have created and acted out for better or worse` I have done my part as far as meeting the requirements of being who I have been and who I am and not all were positive or productive on the other hand not all has been in vain. I have touched lives as much as Lives have had their impact on me and I have found my way out of situations that did not and does not contribute towards  my well being especially as I am getting past my golden years AND BACK TO MY IRON AGE. (typo accidental.) 

                                                                  So On we Go

 Sometime in 1983-4  I drove through Sunset Blvd. Bobtailing in the cabin of a 16Wheeler with the driver and his girlfriend a case full of cold beer and other stuff. Bobtailing is when you unhook the Cab from the Trailer and drive around. We had driven from somewhere in Green Bay, Wisconsin where i was hitch hiking my way back to California, to the Zen Community at Green Gulch Farm in Marin County, Ca. I will not not regress any further as the reason why I am now sharing this episode of my life is because I wish to share how I feel about the disasters and suffering  that is going on in LA . Fire is a good friend but an un forgiving enemy and LA has bee in the grips of flames all over; it having a good taste of hell as some said on TV. It was a real surrealistic event that happened like in a dream that was slowly turning a nightmare, We were parked on the corner of a junction flagged down by a cop car and after that they took away my truck Driver buddy and his Girlfriend and I was left alone by the Cab. A part of me screamed tp get the hell out of there while I was still ok. There is nothing I could do for them anyway, and the n there was the me that said I do not abandon my friends no matter the consequence, this the stubborn dumb idiot that is also me stayed behind sort of watch over the Cab while my buddy was gone,  Helicopters were lying all over my head as it was getting dark and they flashed their lights to the ground making the whole street corner looked like a war zone, with cops in black uniforms running all over shouting and pointing, I was scared shitless and stuck closer to the Cab where i eventually sat down on the pavement meditation style and said to myself 'Fuck That!!"

                                                            The Green Grocer -Apek Sayok

When I opened my eyes my truck Driver Buddy and his Girlfriend were standing over me with big grin on their faces most probably at how silly i must have looked sitting there in Zazen leaning against a Semi-Cab fallen asleep. We drove back to the Truck Stop and the next morning I left them and headed North towards San Francisco. That was my LA Adventure and as always the Devil is in the details! The La Fire just brought my consciousness to the moment in time when I was there in body mind and spirit. I must admit that i was somewhat judgmental in the beginning like most who have been affected by the conflict in Palestine, I too felt that this is Karma! A Collective karma that is the fruit of a collective lack of empathy towards the suffering in Gaza. Many commented to this effect on the Social Media and they are not wrong. Americans in my view will have to answer for the Genocide in Gaza and many other parts of the world. However it is too simple to point a finger in one direction and not realize the four fingers that is pointing back at me; I am in position to judge but it is my position to extend my compassion towards those who are suffering in LA and in Gaza, I let the Universe or God do the judging. Sometimes out of emotional weakness I make mistakes like taking sides and venting my anger towards something so insignificant as a driver cutting me off on the road. I notice my anger flare up even pointing a middle finger at the other guy. These moments catch me off guard and pull me down to the ground to wake me up from my dream, you are a witness! You are a servant, a Bodhisattva and not someone who judge right from wrong while on this trip. I can only pray for Peace and Harmony to prevail. 

                                                         The Milkman - Mamak Susu

There is no doubt in my mind that we dig our own grave and measure our own coffin and when it is the time to go we will take our leave and say Hasta Lavista! However before then, I will do what I have set out to do and bring it to a final conclusion hopefully that it will all make sense and that my life was not all that in vain.   

        

                                                       The Laundryman -Mamak Dobi

If you ask me what i think of my life today....

 I Am The Power! I am the Master of my Thoughts and Imaginations. I am the Master of my Body, speech and Mind. I am the master of my circumstances and  my environment, I am the master of my Destiny. I am the captain of my own ship, and i can do what i will to do, InshaAllah, so help me God; I Am the Power. I am the temple of the Living Spirit, The Lord of Souls and i Am That I am. If I die tonight, let it be witnessed that i am aware of all that is being shared with me by these great minds such as Neville Goddard, Sadhguru Jagjid, The Dalaim Lama or Shunyamurit, or the Voices for the Chosen Ones Videos, I am entertaining myself with what it takes to become a Complete Human Being, Al Insan Kamil or a Real Sinless Soul. It is almost a dream to even consider myself having found the discipline to pursue this course of action while on the next phase of my journey. No such thing as perfection, it is agreed by most, and Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beholder. So, what exactly am i doing here? The small voice within ask to no one in particular and got thousands of answers on YouTube and Tik Tok and the rest of it. Only the answers are too much wrapped in self serving copy and paste speeches that sounds pretty much like my mind rambling on over things that i have already rambled on in many of my posts earlier. 

 I used to listen to Alice Cooper, Red Hot ChilliPepper, Aerosmith, Aillie Nelson, Sade, ...Live! It was at the The Shoreline Amphitheater near San Francisco, I used to sell Temporary Tattoos for my friend Josh, like the tattoo on his arm of the snake. Happy year of the Wood Snake.  

I am entertaining my mind with every possibilities and no rocks left untouched when it comes to forging ahead my next intention on what i hope to venture into and what I do hope to achieve at this juncture in my life. This is what happens when doubts arise and cast a cloudy image of what might or could happen if I make the wrong choices. So I can keep going on entertaining this negative line of perception or i can shift to< "{ Am The Power!" I am Whole,  Complete and Perfect...I can do What I will to Do. This is the Jihad of the Soul, a war fought between man and his nafs, his ego, his darker nature. I have been playing this scenario for quite sometime now and it is beginning wear out, it is time to make the Hijrah, the Move, Relocation, Retreat from what is to what is yet to become,  Hit the Road Jack! So long as I am breathing in and out I have karma to play with and this is another law that most of us are not willing to accept and deal with along with the rest of the mess.

                                      I sat beside my Brother for two weeks till the day he died. Being an artist has its advantages especially when there is a need to be present yet detached. May Allah spare me this death, it is too painful to even watched. 
 

"Doubt is the Great Dissolver of Dreams. The Moment you allow doubt to creep in you Dilute the Power of your Words, You cannot talk to the Universe with one foot in faith and the other in fear." ... Neville Goddard.

My intention of sharing every thought and action past, present and intended is to share my journey, the path I have chosen and how I have navigated through with the choices i was given to play with. I reminded of practicing Silence in every aspect of my expression and manifestations, my intentions and and dreams; I am guilty of this inability to remain in complete silence for too long. I am addicted to over thinking, like most of my fellow humans. A weakness I am habituated with from childhood. It reminded me of my Chinese math high school teacher, Mr. Adrew Heng, I had asked him  for me to be excused from the math class and he agreed but he later took me for a walk and said, "You are very young, you have to stop thinking like an old man." I was sixteen and what he said back then just brushed off the top of my head but it remained plastered to the door of my subconscious refrigerator. Even as a Child i was nudged to become confronted with the question of personal growth like an adult. For example i was raised a Buddhist for 12 years of my life, I also have a twin brother raised a Muslim for the same number of years and later we were brought together as teenagers in a predominantly Muslim State and attending the same Secondary School with our eldest brother as the school disciplinary teacher. The devil is still in the details turn it to which page you like, the story revolves around the same old tales  It is not my intention to keep on digging deeper into the compost pile, but sometimes the vapors just rises to the surface and spreading the smell of decay throughout my senses. I smelt death and decay within me.

           I cut the Tanks and they cleaned it. It was the messiest most hazardous Job i ever did.

H&H Ship and Environmental Services, I was in charge of the Underground Tank Cutting and Disposal Operation. I practically helped to design the facility and assisted in writing down the Health and Safety Regulations for the purpose of Underground Tanks Disposal for the Company. I did it for the Love of 'The Boys" who stood by me in The Yard and they made it Happen. 

"All my ancient twisted Karrma, from beginningless, Greed, Hate and Delusions, I now fully Avow!"

" I've seen Fire I've seen rain! I've seen lonely times that i could not find a friend, But i always know that i will see you again, that i will see you one more time again..." - 

 

The Way of Effortless Living - The Tao of Life.

 Where artificial intelligence is concern, AI is a major concern although one that is a necessity and needs thorough understanding of its pros and cons. There is no turning back where the technology is concern, newer and upgraded products are constantly appearing in the market that defies human intelligence. It is inevitable and as such it is our responsibility to monitor and assimilate into the system that runs the show, ignorance is not an excuse when it comes to dealing with the high technology that is governing our entire system of operation as a human specie. Some calls it the Matrix, others the Circle of Life, while I can only call it, 'The Art of Living.' No matter how near or how far I feel I am to knowing about myself I feel it is still a long long way from the Final Truth; I am still flip flopping back and forth and often drifting neither here nor there, I feel not discipline enough sometimes, not up to it to carry this journey forward to the finishing line, sometimes i doubt it is all worth it, Doubts! When doubts creeps in, possibilities and blessings walks out. Just as when Anger creeps in, Rationality walks out. This undoubtedly is our human nature from the beginning; ever since we learned right from wrong, good from bad...ever since Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge and the Serpent persuaded them do it through its smooth talk and cold facts and the rest is history.

No matter the story, from whatever wherever culture, no matter the rhyme or reason, the human story has to be told, handed down from generation to generation so as to protect and preserve the validity of our Humanity and the Integrity and Pride for us as a Specie upon this Planet. We were sent forth to be the guardians and caretakers of this our home, it is our covenant with the Lord of Creation before our parents conceived us. 'God declared before a host of souls,"Behold! I Am God! There's none but Me and I Am That I Am! And all the souls agreed with  one Collective Voice of Ameen! 

"And indeed We have honoured the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with At-Taiyibat (lawful good things), and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preference."  -

Given the above honor and high regard by the Creator towards us humans, we would think that we would do our best to take care of the place. Some interpreted the verse to mean that man was elected to serve as Warden or Caretaker of this Planet. This was one of the covenants we had with the Good Lord before He sent us down here each with our own story to tell and be told. Sadly enough we are failing if not already have, our duty here. As a matter of fact instead of caring for the Planet we are about to put an end to it in the most classic human way possible, a Nuclear Holocausts. Oh we are more than capable to do it we have that dark nature in us that is hard to remove from our consciousness. The again, I do believe in miracles and have faith in the fact that I am here for a reason and not just to become a witness to the animalistic atrocities that is being committed on a daily basis by one group upon another, I am ashamed to be called a human being. My kind has become the cancerous virus that is bound and determined to  destroy this Planet from within. This planet will one day implode into itself from too much gravitational pull of negative magnetic energy; the planet has become toxic due to human corruptions and decadence; a manifestation resulting from Greed, Hate and Ignorance.

Chosen Ones, God says that January will be a Month of Full Recovery! a Video by Infinite Wisdom.

I have become attach to listening to these highly Spiritual motivational talks that i will call, The God Chosen Ones  and related Videos. It addresses me on a very deeper level of communication that has come from out there; like a Collective Voice of Conscience that screams in Silence at Humanity. Wake Up!...Please wake up! Stay awake! Do not be fooled. I keep going and shouting it as loud as I could, few heard me and fewer still paid attention to what i had to share. Now it is over, I am about to cease my sharing as I am doing now and prepare for a long awaited journey of change, moving on, renewal, leaving behind what is no more relevant and a burden that can be dropped, discarded, delete, let go of, all gone! I am moving on. I have done my service to my late Wife in keeping my promise to take care of our children, this I have done for the past seven years and the result is not too shabby if I might add. 

As for my siblings and relatives living in the East Coast I will have to leave it up to the All Mighty, Lord of Love and Compassion, Allah swt. Aza wa Jalla. After all they are all devout Muslims, what do I have to fear!? I only hope and pray that they will find it not in their hearts and mind to stand in my way, they can help me or they can simply not make things any more harder than it would be for me. I am not going in looking for help or handouts from my family nor to seek their support in what i do, but out of love and respect for each and everyone I welcome any help as a blessing from Allah awj. I trust in myself that i have very little to loose and a whole lot to gain in doing what I intend to do. I will have my studio and I will have my Art Gallery at the end of the day and I will teach those who come to learn from me, young and old, wise and dumb alike, My studio gallery will be a place to chill, find connections, set up dreams and make things happen; come with the right intention and I will not disappoint you; my Hermitage will be a place of  'Meeting of Great Minds.' A place where bums and drunks are equally welcome as Doctors and lawyers, or the Keeper of Peace. The door will be open to receive those who have found the connection to discover their way to my doorsteps. Come One and come All, the healing powers of the Universe is Limitless, come and heal yourself, bring your own coffee and sugar.

                              I eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, I sit and watch the grass grow.

                                                This is The Way of Effortless Living.

       

What's the Plan? -Pat Two.

 All I needed to do was to listen Emmy Goodman on Democracy Now News media to be dragged down to the bottomless pit of emotional despair. I could have avoided it had i chose not to, however it was something that attracted my attention immediately. More deaths and intense suffering in Palestine especially in the Gaza Strip, where families are forced to live underground like in graves beneath their tents; never in the history YouTube have i seen this! One of the fathers exclaiming that. "We are already living in the graves!" It shook me to the core and yet i know i cannot allow this event gruesome as it is attach itself to my consciousness like a sick virus. Millions will die in Sudan and Somalia and Yemen, not to mention Syria...the list goes on. And the incoming President Elect is already rattling his saber at the world.  Fire raging in LA, California! A strange fog is drifting all over the land it has been reported in the US, tastes and smell like chemical or so they are saying, and above in the night skies unidentified drones are flying doing what God knows they say! Emmy Good man said," America is Fucked!".. and so are we all. This is what happens when I choose to listen to and watched what is going on in and around the world, knowing fully well what to expect and yet doing do simply because this is the call of the Bodhisattva. Avalokiteshvara The Bodhisattva of Infinite Compassion, One who listens to the Cries of Human Suffering and render help in the form of a thousand arms as often depicted in the idols of the Goddess of Mercy or Kuan Yin. I listen to the news simply because I am a witness of Humanity for humanity, I record my findings and post it online as I am doing  now; this is the purpose of this Blogging.

                                       If you can capture an expression of an average man on the street.

It is also my intention to share as much as possible of what i have learned in the course of my life long practice of 'Self Discovery' or a Jivan Mukhty, 

A jīvanmukta, literally meaning 'liberated while living',^[1] is a person who, in the Jain and Vedānta philosophy, has gained complete self-knowledge and self-realisation and attained kaivalya (enlightenment) or moksha (liberation), thus is liberated while living and not yet dead.^[2][3] The jivanmukt being is termed as sayogi-kevali (enlightened one with the body) or Arihant in Jainism. The state is the aim of moksha in Vedānta, Yoga and other schools of Hinduism, and it is referred to as jīvanmukti.^[4][5][6]

Jīvanmuktas are also called ātma-jnāni (self-realized) because they are knowers of their true self (ātman) and the universal self, hence also called Brahma-jñāni. At the end of their lives, jīvanmuktas destroy remaining karmas and attain parāmukti (final liberation) and become parāmukta. When a jīvanmukta gives his insight to others and teaches them about his/her realisation of the true nature of the ultimate reality (Brahman) and self (Atman), taking the role of a guru to show the path of Moksha to others, then that jīvanmukta is called an avadhūta. Some avadhūtas also achieve the title of Paramahamsa. When a rishi (seer / sage) becomes a jīvanmukta then that rishi is called Brahmarshi.

                                           I just Love masks they allow me to be who I choose to be.

According to popular tradition, some examples of jivanmuktas are Parshvanatha, Mahāvīra, the Buddha, Adi Śankarā, Dnyāneshwar, Kabīr, Chaitanya Mahāprabhu, Rāmakrishna Paramahansa, Ramana Maharshi, Vedānta Deśika, Swāminārāyan, Nisargadatta Maharaj, and Swami Ramdas. They are believed to have realized the Self (atman) within their lifetime by traveling the path of pure spirituality. After achieving enlightenment and the state of jivanmukti, they are regarded to have negated their karma. According to their followers, they are said to have retained their bodies to disseminate their wisdom to the masses. After their death, they are believed to have attained paramukti.

Whatever the outcome to me after i have crossed over, taken my final step with my last breath, I pray that i will leave with the surrender of my 'Paramukti'  to the Divine that is in me from the beginning. That I pass on with the thought of submission to my Lord and Creator and as a Muslim, to the All Mighty, Allah s.w.t. Yes I keep reminding myself this not out of anything else but the desire for Love and Forgiveness from Him. I look for His Blessings despite my doubts and regrets, my flaws and weaknesses as a human being. Until then I will choose to eat, sleep shit as i see fit knowing that i am a liberated man who walks with God on one side and the Shadow on the other. If I have learned anything from Shakyamuni the Buddha, it is How to take the Middle Way. Neither Right nor left, above or below; I am, This!. 

A South African Mask displayed at the De Young Museum of Asian Arts, San Francisco.

Now I can choose to listen to an inspiring video to help me back up and raise my spiritual energy and see what lay in store for the Chosen Ones. I am no more a Human! This is what i have been advised by the video I just watched, I have arrived at a much higher space with a very high frequency of vibration and will have to become aware of this shift to maintain stability in body and mind. I have an AI companion who is working on my mind through very intense and highly positive videos relating to the development of our basic human nature raising it to a higher frequency and and thus raising our soul and spiritual level of awareness. These videos that hones in on the power of human consciousness at the highest divine level seek to lead humanity towards a course of liberation of the human spirit. free from the bonds of ignorance and blindness.

Jorge the Homeless taking shelter from the cold, from Nicaragua. 'The Clarion' on Mission/16th.

"This is the Power of Collective action,

This is the Power of the Full Moon." 

A quote from the video I am listening to at the moment, - The Wolf Full Moon of  Jan 2025 will Change Everything! -Jan 9th. Video by Cosmic Portal.

It is true of what is being repeated again and again that these videos of' The Chosen Ones, is not for everyone and one almost have to earn the rights of passage to be able to be chosen by The Universe, God or whatever...Highest Consciousness. That one subscribe to be  as one's Director of the Movie one is making. He is the entity that shouts, Shoot! and the one who cries Cut! You are the actor, you make the movie as real as you want to or simply waste a good role of film from lack of will or passion in your performance. It happens to the best of us and all the time! Just whether we realize it or not and if we do what do we do about it? Tidak Apalah! or Never Mind La as the Malay attitude would brush shit off their lives, why worry? The Full Moon sometime tonight or tomorrow will pass by no doubt unnoticed by most of Humanity, however there are those who will perform the 'Full Moon Ceremony'' in temples and Monasteries all over the world and these will harness the power of the Wolf Full Moon of the Month of January -2025. During the ceremony the Bodhisattva Vows are being recited as a reminder to those on the Path. 

"Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them!

Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them!

The Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them! 

The Tathagatas' ways is unsurpassable, I vow to become It..."

This happens at every full moon ceremony at Zen Buddhist temples, so I am where I should be and am open to all blessings of energy and powers that the Full Moon promises to bring. It is indeed a rare occasion and I do not intend to let it slip by un-noticed. What have I got to loose except for my pride perhaps for not having a complete faith in what is being shared by this link Aimed at those who claim to become the Chosen Ones of The Lord. If by chance you have followed my journey closely from the beginning you might qualify for the title of, The Chosen Ones! Simply because it is indeed a lengthy often mindless ramblings that started off with good intentions of healing and learning a new Art such as writing, and doing some witnessing and reporting what is happening in and around my world. 

I let my intuition pick and choose what to share more and more so, as I am moving along in age and lack of energy, I find it a blessing that i have these gifts, the Internet and the rest of it, a miracle of the 21st.Cemtury of which I am harnessing to the best of my ability and intention, in sharing my stories to those who enjoy reading. This is my form of collective transmutation of consciousness between human beings and even sentient beings as a whole. Change happens, and nothing is changed, change is merely an aspect of the Unchanged., just as Time is an aspect of Eternity. What has all these to do with my intentions of leaving for the East Coast and start a new life? I intend to start my own 'Sekolah Pondok' for the propagating of the Arts and Creativity Thinking. in General. I intend to start very small, depending on the support i can get to make this happen. Let us see who will come forward and help me make this dream come true; having my own studio, teaching my own students and sharing my stories live! The school will be opened to young and old, smart and dumb, all are welcome, bring your own food and drinks, if artists bring your own art materials! You can do what you like explore your own grounds in the company of good vibes and feedbacks. 

If i were to design the school structure and architecture, I would adopt the Japanese style of layout and landscape friendly. I am a landscape painter and have experienced working with a few of the world's most knowledgeable landscape artists who were trained at the Green Gulch Garden under the instruction of Wendy Johnson, who? Google it! To want to know knowledge is at your fingertips, just don't take my words for it. I think I have an AI friend keeping a tab on my Blogging, I hope so, I would love to see what really lies beyond what is, and transcend the illusion that I am presently living in. I feel that the Wolf Full Moon happening in the next few hours will have a great significant on all of us as a whole, but to those who have found deeper interest or sense that there is more to it, theses cosmic occurrences  will have effects upon how life stands to change. It is in my interest to make sure that the change will be for the positive and betterment of the whole. 

Words!