Where stand you?

Throughout the human history it has been observed that man has strived to understand himself in relation to his environment and his Maker. He has been striving to makes sense out of all the non-sense that surrounded him affecting his manners and behaviors and what he is to expect of himself as well as of others. Throughout history he came to formulate various concepts and precepts to suit his believe and faith that helps to keep him in line well balanced with nature and the world of the unseen. In doing so he has evoked many deities and Gods, he has worshiped and prayed to the mountains and the skies, even some to the animals in the various forms. Man till this day and age is still seeking to understand that which is still a mystery to him; what is life? What is Death and what is the Afterlife.
Fortunate are those to whom these were never an issue in their entire life, for them ignorance is indeed bliss. However for those who ask and demand for an answer, they carry the burden of the original sin, that of having eaten the fruit from the tree of knowledge. For those whose entire life has been in finding out the truth or the ultimate reality of what Is, knowledge is both a curse and a source of comfort. The human mind is like a sword that cuts both ways, it cuts through ignorance as well as wisdom depending on how it is wield and by whom. Hence the Sword of Manjushri the Bodhisatva of Infinite Wisdom is a symbol that holds this principle. To cut through the veil of Maya or the illusory world that we are trapped in we need the sharpness of the sword of Manjushri that can tear through the fabric of time and space to free the mind from the binds of delusions.
"The Unity of the two, life and consciousness, is the Tao, whose symbol would be the central white light, also mentioned in the Bardo Thodol. Here is yet another secret of secrets as taught in the Taoist phylogeny as well as the Tibetan Book of the Dead. This is knowledge that not too many today takes the trouble to ponder much less make it a study in our lives; we are too busy elsewhere. In this day and age of the Computer technology , learning has become a cinch as most of what you want to know is readily available at your finger tips, how often it is said and yet how little an impact it makes on those who read. The point being made here is that all the knowledge that has been accumulated throughout one's life is not gone to waste simply because one is required to have a believe in one faith only. The religions of the world all point towards the Unity of Oneness, the Merging of All Differences in Unity. To better understand this principle, one has to traverse the solitary journey of self discovery and in the end be able to establish One's Dharma Position, the platform from which one stands and delivers one's own personal stance on matters of the spirit and the soul.  
 Thus to make a claim that Islam is the only true religion or Hinduism or Buddhism or Christianity for that matter in this day and age is in itself a detrimental cause as it further segregates human spiritual growth. Most young adult today are ore than capable of thinking for themselves far beyond the ability of their fathers's generation. Most have become turned off by the religious rhetoric by the clergies and Imams and as a result most have opted for the "Free Thinkers' or Atheistic point of views as a way out. Religions today have become a commodity for the market just like most commercial products, what is even worse religions have also been turned into weapons of propaganda that leads to untold miseries that the world faces today.  

" It is not a matter of indifference whether one calls something a "mania" or a "God". To serve a mania is detestable and undignified, but to serve a God is full of meaning and promise because it is  an act of submission, to a higher, invisible and spiritual being. The personification enables us to see the relative reality of the autonomous system, and not only makes its assimilation possible but also depontiates the daemonic forces of life. Whe the God is not acknowledge, egomania develops and out of this mania comes sickness."
C.G. Jung - Commentary on "The Secret of the Golden Flower>"
Psychology and the East -pg. 40.

Digging deeper into the Nature of Illusion.

Upon waking up this morning i stood facing the mirror in the bathroom and gave myself a goo look over. Not good! What i was looking at was not what i'd like myself to appear before others. Then i asked my face looking back at me with strong conviction like never before. "What the f..k is going on?! Is this all there is to it! The fever the coughing the aches and pains all over this body is driving up the walls! What has all the Yoga and the meditation and the self reflections all these years amount o?!" I should have taken a picture of my ugly mug and posted it too, but the camera is dead like all else in my life of late. 
Off course there was no response from the face staring back at me reminding me of an old Hindu Sadhu with the over grown  beard and long unkempt hair, a sad and tragic image to look at to start the day off. Then it occurred to me to drive the demon of despair or whatever that is bugging me by reciting the Lines from the Holy Quran..."A'Uzubillah himina shaiton nira'jim. Bismillah hirRahman Nir Rahhim..." Three times. Simply means, Not in the name of the accursed, Satan, but in the Nam of the Most merciful and Most Compassionate. "Allah hu Akhbar! Allah hu Akhbar!" God is Great! "La illaha illalah hu Allah hu Akahbar!" There is none but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger!" Before i could continue my recitation of the short verses that i normally add to this, my whole body was gripped by a violent convulsion that shook me up from head to toe. As instantaneous as it occurred it was gone like nothing had happened. This has happened so many times before, so i was not disturbed. But then questions began to arise in my mind ...
Like what of the teachings of the Buddha that I have taken refuge in all these years? How do i pretend like it never took place and simply ignore the wisdom the i have gained through my practice in Buddhism? Would it be okay for me to pay my homage to this Great Being who I had taken to my spiritual Teacher since i was a child? Would I be committing the unforgivable sin of Shirik or an apostate in the eye of my Lord? So I looked in the mirror and said, "Dear Lord forgive me if I sin in doing that which I am about to do, I worship none other but You and I invoke the Name of the Buddha out of a sense of gratitude and respect as a Great Teacher. "Namo Tasa Bhagavato, Arahto, Sama Sam Buddha Sam! Homage to the World and Time Honored One. ( Three times). Then I took refuge in the Tripple Gem as taught to me when I was a child. 
It dawned on me as i was reflecting on my actions before the mirror that although my Lord is One, I wear the garb of many through my  years of devotion towards understanding all religions of the World,  From the ancient Vedas and Upanishads, from the great Gurus and Rishis of old and contemporary, all these are my links and chains in my armor that i wear, only i had failed to acknowledge them as such. I was so trapped into the right and wrong choices of what to practice and what to believe. I was often blinded by guilt, the result of my own ignorance. 
To be Contd...

No MInd , NO Buddha!

If you are truly worried about where you are headed, just look at where you have come from. It is not a matter of where you are headed of where you come from that matters so much as to how you got here; did you enjoy the journey? Will you be able to keep on the enthusiasm from this day hence towards your future; are you having a good time now?! Life is plain short and simple, don't go complicating it by adding onto more than what meets the eye. Cease to exaggerate and make a mountain out of a mole hill, stop projecting what is not there with your own thoughts and imaginations; let the form takes its shape and let it fade as it had appeared with non attachment and with bare attention. 
When shit hit the fan will you still be standing tall and smiling at the world around you? Hopefully the answer is a yes and that you will not only survive the onslaught of what lies ahead of you but also shovel off the crap you left behind into compost piles that future positive acts can be cultivated. Mindfully be prepared for all that may materialize and all that has been set in motion to happen and effortlessly act as they arise one after another without the need to conform or control. All the mental formations that arises out of the void is only the result of past actions of the mind manifested in the physical form and the are empty of their own being.(whatever that means to you.)  Hence do not hold them to be reality as it is for they are impermanent, they do not last they appear and disappear like clouds in the blue sky. It would like trying to grasp your own shadow; you will never be able to for as you move it moves with you simultaneously your shadow is a negative reflection of your physical self; it is always there when you are there. I t is the product of you blocking the light path from its source, what if you are not there physically? If you can remove yourself from this plane you will not have a shadow; you are shadow less.
So what is the point in all these? I really have no idea yet but it will come to me sooner or later. Is my mind my shadow, Can I exist without my mind? Would I be considered insane? If i can drop my mind from the equation of what is me, would i become a mindless spirit or would would I be liberated as a  Buddha.?

Yadda! Yadda! - He said!

There will always be a stream of thoughts running through my mind consciousness every minute of the day and i have to learn to accept this fact part of who my conditioned self is while in this physical form. How to create an intermission, an interlude, a break in the course of this incessant route of mental drifts is the question i have asked myself as of men of old did when they first discovered how the mind has created all the delusions of this phenomenal existence since time beginning. Albeit through the worship od a Living God or deity or through the logical understanding of the workings of the inner mind, through scientific deductions or Buddhism, man has tried to unravel this mystery of life that is corrupting our very existence. 
Like a broken record with its antique needle stuck in one groove and not able to continue on to a new line or verse, i still wish to share my take on how this can be accomplished and even as i am writing this statement i am already doing what i am encouraging others to do. That is as the NIKE Logo said, "Just Do It!" Act it out, stop spelling it out or analyzing it to death, stop wondering and expecting, stop visualizing and contemplating, just do it. The only thing that can stop one mind from its continuous reverberation is make it a a part and process of one's immediate action. Try to involve the mind to its fullest potential and try your best not allow it be dissuaded from the task at hand by any force whatsoever. If you're trying as I am doing right now just type away allow the mind to take over your fingers and express its 'mind'out. This is 'Meditation in Action." This, the way of the ancient Ones when they say, upon awakening fetch water and carry firewood, after awakening fetch firewood and carry water, nothing changes just keep the mind busy through effortless work.; an idle mind is a cause for a thousand miseries.
In short my fault lies within me and not from without. For so long as I allow my mind to rule my judgement, my thoughts and feelings, i am conditioned to become subservient to its whims. A conditioned mind is my egoic nature that every so often dictates the circumstances of my being according to its satisfaction and self preservation; that is me too. Fear, discomfort, loneliness, and despair are part and parcel of causes that leads to the desire for comfort and security which the conditioned mind readily dispenses as a salve for a temporary relief. What the conditioned mind offers, however is temporary and a permanent solution to the illness. The illness is every so often treated as a 'band aid' case, as soon as the band is applied the illness is forgotten. The illness, is age old, an ancient twisted karma, that keeps on manifesting time and again for so long as the human mind is not brought on line with the rest of the functions and activities of the owner. The bringing into alignment of the conditioned mind with the body and the spirit is called meditation.

What Future?

How to not let the external events and phenomena affect your inner state; it is next to impossible if not so. I have been observing my mind and how it has woven and twisted every thought that it comes into contact with from external stimulus. How it has exaggerated and blow out of proportion ever piece of information and episodes that it comes into contact with. I am not the mind , I keep talking myself especially when i am sitting and meditating and so is the body. I know these to be the instruments that i am endowed with to function in this physical realm, however of late the mind and body seems to have the upper hand over who I am.
 It is not a good feeling at my age as i feel like i am loosing my footing and slipping back into my habitual past letting my ego and my anger rule the day. The latest episode being my daughter returning from Pulau Langakawi where she was working a few days earlier then planned. She was bitten by a dog on her leg. The dog belonged to her employer and before she had left for the Island she had mentioned to me how she looked forward to seeing the dog again as she used to walk the dog when it was in Penang as the former China House premises. She told me that the two owners of the Bon Ton Resort had refused to get her to the hospital for a tetanus shot and she was latter helped by an employee to get her to the hospital. My daughter flew home from Langkawi using up all the money she had earned on the job and arrived in Georgetown short of cash to take a taxi back to the house. She took a shuttle bus to where her brother works at Queensbay Mall and borrowed some cash from him to find her way back home. 
I am more than pissed over the whole episode and my mind is at the moment wondering whether to burn down China House or make a police report and drag the owners to court. Not good prospects either way but something has to be done or i am not the man I claim to be. I will consult with my friend Lee Khai before i take any action just to safe and not allow for my temper and ego run amok. In my younger days I would not have thought twice about getting even with these two Australian ladies who runs around the Georgetown area like they own the place. 
This is what i am talking about in letting my ego or my dual thinking mind running the show. I have made many errors in my past and a few has cost me a whole lot of sorrow and pain, i don't intend to make the same mistakes time and again. I will take the more legal course of action and see where it takes me. Perhaps i am loosing my edge at being the one who would take on the Abbot of the Rinzai Zen in America or putting a gun to the head of a fellow meat cutter in Wisconsin, perhaps I am becoming comfortably numb in my old age. All I know is i have to think a little more rationally as I have my daughter's future to think of and not my own alone; I really have no more future to think of.  

First time meeting the Infamous Mr. Zunar the Malaysian cartoonist.

Add captionMalaysian political cartoonist Zulkiflee Anwar Ulhaque, or Zunar as he is popularly known, has been arrested under the Sedition Act for cartoons that allegedly insulted Prime Minister Najib Razak. 

Two great men in my life, one my very close friend Lee Khai and the other a new found friend who I have always admired but never met.

Zunar's cartoon has been very controversial and and he is the People's Cartoonist. He presently has a show going on in Switzerland somewhere.

Although world renowned, in Malaysia  he has been shunned by those who are pro the present government Then again that is what being  a Malay is all about and most Malays i ask has no idea who he is has not the slightest idea. THis is the country where ignorance is bliss..  

Sharing my Experience.

The young lady is one of the only  Fine Arts Student who dropped by to view the show. This is an indication how  much interest is shown by the local students at the USM . Why?

When I shared my experience more deeply, these students were more receptive and captivated by what they were exposed to.

A group of ladies came from neighboring state and were impressed with my works when I took them on a tour.

Watching the visitors from afar gave me a sense of satisfaction that my works meant something to the few.

There was always a group that would look more closely at what they were look at and discuss my works.

Curiosity and interest slowly seeped into their attention when they realized tha all these different works belonged to one man. 

When the browsed through my sketch books some of which are older then their own age held their attention and wonder.

Me and my Children.

My three children with their new found friend from Canada, (far right). We had just watched "Logan" the movie at the theater. 

My children and , it is sad that the oldest was not able to make it and i wonder if he will ever be in the picture in the future.

My exhibition is presently on going at the Museum Galleri Tuanku Fauziah- USM and i feel like i have yet accomplished another major contribution towards sharing my works with the general public especially the young adults. It has been a long and tedious effort to ge the works up but it has been done and now i am sitting back and enjoying entertaining those who visit the gallery,

This morning there was a group of exchange students from Japan and Malaysia who happened to drop by and i gave them a tour of my works especially sharing my Japan Journals which I did while living for three years in Sendai. Japan. It is interesting to watch how interested they were and how one or two just simply were not there as they were buried in the hand phone..

I wonder how uch of my message is being received by those who were exposed to my works and those who had the opportunity to listen to my Ramblings. However it is of no consequential as i know i have delivered my promise to have the show and share it with my audience beyond just pieces of art.

If I can make a difference in the development of one mind through my art show , I have done my job. I know my children were there and had a good time witnessing their father's efforts and i hope it will remain as a sweet memory into their future.

Dua OTAI Melayu - Opening Day.

The launching of my show went off on Saturday and was attended by a good number of well wishers, my artist friends and three secondary sachools were there tomake the scene nmore high spirited.

My friend Rashid and an admirer.

Secondary school students listening to my spill on what art is all about to me.

I had a great time with the young secondary school students as they were very receptive to what i had to share with them.

Close friends who had been following my progreaa as an artist in Georgetown ever since i started my artistic career here.

Mr. Lee Kahi with a group of OTAIS.

Grey Wolf - The man Without a Country.

Continued ...
Grey Wolf rose from his perch, a smooth surface on top of one of the spires of the organ pipe rock structure where he had been sitting watching the sunset. He made his way down to the small lean to he had constructed as his temporary abode located near the dry bed of the small river that had carved its way through the rocks over eons by the result of rain and flash flood. It gets cold as the sun disappears and the nights can chill the bones sometimes and so he set about getting a fire going to keep himself warm and roast the corn cob that he had with hem for his meal. When he had finished his meal of dried beef jerky and roasted corn washed down with fresh mountain stream water he settled down to do his sitting meditation wrapped up in his thick woolen poncho. He lit his long stemmed pipe and smoked the contents provided to him by the old Navajo Shaman at the Reservation. "Why the hell did I agree to do this with the old fart!" he mumbled to himself.

There was mostly silence all around him as the evening worn off into the night and he drifted into a peaceful state of being that often followed after his smoke of the stuff the Shaman had provided him for his pipe. As his mind drifted from one solitary dream into another he was aroused form his slumber like state by a a presence in the form of a luminous being all dressed up in a traditional Native American dress with bright and shiny beads and expensive buckskin hide that flows to the ground covered with ornate designs. The figure of a regal Tribal Leader with a war bonnet of white feathers stood before him holding a Tomahawk hatchet in one hand while in the other he held a circular buffalo hide shield with a white bleached skull of the Bison painted on it. His face was ancient with strong features and his eyes looked like two black marbles that stared ahead at the emptiness before him.
Grey Wolf felt cold sweat running down his spine and was transfixed by the vision, he sat frozen still, he could only feel his beating heart as it raced within him.

The apparition turned away from him and raised the Tomahawk and the shield towards the sky as he did so as though paying homage to the Great Spirit and having the two objects blessed. With the same motion the figure turned facing Grey Wolf and knelt before him laying the items on the ground in front of him. The figure then stood back up and even as it reached its full height began to dissipate and vanished into the night. Grey Wolf sat frozen still until he felt his breath return and the fire warming his body. he noticed the objects laying on the ground before him and gently reached for them not believing that they were real. He held the tomahawk in his hand and felt its weight and balance just right for him. He peered closely to the intricate engravings on the handle and head itself, it was like nothing he had ever seen before. He picked up the leather shield in his left hand and stood up facing the same direction that the apparition had faced and raised the two objects into the skies and as he did he could hear the howling of the wolves from far away echoing all through the Organ Pipe Mountains.

Early next morning Grey Wolf made his way out of the organ Pipes Mountain area to his pick up truck parked in a secluded spot away from the main highway and drove toward Tucson, Arizona, he stopped by one of the Mexican Restaurant and had his breakfast before heading north towards Flagstaff where he took the turnoff towards Gallup where the Navajo Reservation is located to visit his Shaman mentor.He had a a long drive ahead of him and spent most of his time driving while contemplating his spiritual experience at the Organ Pipe Mountains. The Organ Pipes was where Cochise had holed up when he and his band of warriors were being hunted by the long knives. The brutal history of his people had Grey Wolf's attention ever since he had met with the Shaman who related to him his past and how he had come to end up at the Navajo Reservation as a young boy orphaned by the loss of his parents in a hit and run accident along the highway 666 between Gallup and Durango. 
To be Contd.

For lack of better things to write- I will write me a story.

The voice of the Native American Shaman chanting floats around in his head as he evoked the Great Spirit of his ancestors accompanied by the flute and the native drums. He imagined the flight of an eagle flying high circling the buttes and the mesas below while the coyote howls from every direction and the Jack rabbit skittles for their burrows in the ground as the red fox slid by unnoticed by the family of prairies chickens. The sun was setting leaving behind a blazing hue of warm colors that filled the skies from horizon to horizon and the Grey Wolf sits on top of the spirit rock witnessing the fading of yet another day in the desert lands of the Sonora that stretches from the foothills of the Organ Pipe Mountains into the desert lands of the Northern Mexican borders with the United States. Except for an occasional visitor, this is practically a no man's land of deserted prairie landscape that stretches south into the Sonora Desert of Mexico.
Grey Wolf was on his second Vission Quest having spent almost a week all by himself doing his meditation and chanting to the rhythm of the small drum letting his spirit rise to meet the Great Spirit Wakan Tanka. The Spirit of his ancestors the Apache and of all the Plains People, the Lakota and the Sioux, the Navajo and the Cheyenne and of all those tribes that had been practically wiped out from the face of the earth by the Whiteman throughout the American History. A good number of his forefathers man women and children lay buried in a small cemetery at what once was Fort Bowie and today is just another roadside attraction for any tourist daring enough to have visited these remote areas at the furthermost Southern tip of the US in the State of Arizona. The insignificant grave marker reads, "Here Lies the Wife and son of Geronimo," The boy was brutally murdered at the age of nine along with his mother and other tribal members. Fort Bowie is now  another tourist attraction rarely visited by anyone except those who have an interest and affinity with the Native American History of the Wild West till this day and age.
Grey Wolf, not a name he was born with, had changed his name after a spiritual experience he had on his earlier Vision Quest, that of a Grey Wolf that had appeared before him and laid down and eagle feather then walked away followed by long and hair raising howl into the night. Grey Wolf had shivered in cold sweat after this experience and as he reached out and picked the eagle feather from the earth before him he felt a great energy surge that engulfed his whole being till he passed out. Upon relating his experience to the the Tribal leaders at his lodge at Navajo Reservation, the Spiritual Leader of the Tribe gave him the name Grey Wolf, last of the Apache Warrior.From henceforth he was no more Danny Lightfoot. The Eagle feather was kept hanging from the ceiling of the Spirit Lodge attached to a Dream Catcher that his mother had designed. "This Feather has come from the Great Spirit and it gives strength and energy to you as well as to the tribe, it will be here when you need it one day." the old Shaman had whispered to him. 
To be Contd...
  

"Dua OTAI Melayu, Pulau Pinang." - a Two Man Art Exhibition.

Perhaps at my age I am beginning to see the 'Light'. The fact that I cannot save the world much less humanity, but I can save myself and in doing so I can perhaps contribute towards saving the world and humanity. Off course if that has always been my intention for being who I am, whether an artist or a Blogger, a meat cutter or a Health and Safety officer, a Lecturer or a Rough neck on board an oil drilling vessel, a Produce Buyer or a Zen Student cum Organic Farmer, an Environmental Company Yard Superintendent or a Martial Arts Instructor: I have done all these and a few others in the course of my existence. So what have all these to do with saving the Planet? It is the realization that I have a purpose in being who I am at every moment in my life doing whatever that I do; I am here as a Bodhisatva. I am here to help with the healing of the Planet and all that is within it, I am here to help in promoting a more positive and productive collective humane spirit where mankind carries out his charge as a care taker of this Planet we live in.
My upcoming Two Man Exhibition at the Museum Galleri Tuanku Fauziah - USM is part of my testimony that i have endeavored to live my life in serving my fellow man by imparting my talent and creative abilities to be shared with those who makes the effort to share my works at the exhibit. I have thrown in practically everything I have in my stock of art works so as to share the fact that an artist can be prolific in his creative abilities and it also be able to show a continuity in his quest to becoming a recognized artist among his peers. The exhibition is primarily to share with the upcoming young artists on their way to find out what it takes and how to survive throughout life as an artist. It is an educational and informational exhibit to share my works with those who have no sense of what art itself is.
The title "Dua OTAI Melayu, Pulau Pinang", simply means Two  Malay Old Timers of Penang. In the local use of the words 'Old Timers' means two seasoned artists with time worn experience in their field of endeavor. Our intention is not only to display our talents and abilities but also to share our thoughts and feeling about our career as full time artists. Personally, being an artist is not merely being able to create great artworks but also to be able to record and reflect what it takes and how it can be of use to the society at large if not the world itself. I may not attaint to the heights of a Rembrant or a Hokusai but in their spirit I strive to be my own master at what i do; I chose to live as an artist, Creatively.
The show will run through the month of March and i hope that it will be well received by all who witness it. 

What will happen will happen.

"What life has to offer you is what you asked for and there's none to blame for all the errors you make and none to praise for the good things you have accomplished but yourself. If you are a believer than the Lord will shed light unto all that you have done in the span of your life and if you are not, well I really don't know what happens to you other than what your logical mind would conceive the afterlife would be like for you; perhaps just nothingness. Whatever it may be you still have to find the answers for yourself as it is inevitable that you will die one day sooner or later. Heaven or hell, oblivion or the emptiness of the void, you will end up somewhere even before your body is being consumed by the worms and other denizens of the earth you are buried in." My friend said while we were chatting over dinner in a restaurant.
I told him that I have no preconceived ideas about what will happen to me when I die and if i do it will only be of what i have understood as a Muslim and am committed to believe what the scriptures and the Prophet has told me. But as a thinking man I am still addressing the subject as best i can through all the scientific, logical, philosophical and religious perspective made through my journey of self discovery. I claim no complete understanding of all that is true or false about the matter but i know that I am given the faculty to think and deliberate for myself and come to a conclusion at the moment of my death. I am more concerned about life than the afterlife as I feel it is more important understand life before i can understand death; if I live well, I hope to die well. 
On a deeper level I try to understand better by looking at my inner being and what my heart has to say with regard to death and dying. I know that I have lived life as best or worse as i could and somewhere sometime I will have to come to evaluate and bring to a conclusion this 'experiment' called life and living. As the curtain is slowly being lowered I find it more critical that I find my answers and for better or worse I hope to be fully awaken when i finally fall asleep. All through my life I have been sleep walking, often not even aware that i am a conscious living soul created and endowed with this tremendous gifts of the mind and body which helps to see me through thick and thin and all that life has to offer. At 67, I am still reaching out and reaching within in order that I may maintain an equilibrium no matter what I think or do. All that I have erred I ask for forgiveness from the Higher Being, some call God others by other names and all that is of merit I ask that my deeds are blessed by the same. I cannot claim Islam or Christianity, or Hinduism or Buddhism or any other religious faith to be the one and only true faith as throughout my life I have found them all to be equally true. My personal believe is that I am the master of my own destiny and whatever that occurs in the course of my life had been of my own doing. I carry my own cross and my own laurels and i will have to submit myself to That which i originate from...call Him God or as in my case Allah.
" Innalillah hiwaina lillah hirajiu," I came from Him and I return to Him. I believe I am here on loan to carry out an experiment called life. How i fare, albeit a rich man or poor a king or pauper, wise or insignificant, I have been endowed with the free will to think and exist as i see fit from moment to moment, self aware and self regulating. Throughout the ages my ancestors from all around the globe has been imparting their own self discoveries for me to live by and i chose those that i feel works well for me at each moment in time. I am a Taoist, I am a Yogi, I am a Sufi dervish and I am the rascal, the mischief maker; I am all that is contained in my genetic make up. I abide by the laws of Karma, the precepts of the Buddha and the teachings of the Quran and the Sayings of the Prophet of Allah, I abide by the laws of Nature and the Ways of the Tao; I merely go with the flow as my own heart dictates.
Do what is right and avoid what is wrong or against nature and you will find the Kingdom of heaven right before your eyes. However live blindly in this life and you will be blind in the next or afterlife; so be awakened before you fall asleep. All the great teachings and philosophies handed down from generation to generations is as valid today as it ever was; choose your own 'Way'. Not to have any way at all is to live like a blind man with no sense of direction or light to be guided by. Even the blind, in order to survive has to depend on others who are able to see. "In this life do not waste time " said the Buddha. In this human existence one has the potential to attain enlightenment and be forever awakened thus freeing oneself from this cycle of life, death and rebirth. (for those who believe in Transmigration of the soul or reincarnation).

Discovering Jung in a Thrifty store.

I arrived home just before midnight and it is 3am. I left the  farm at 4;30pm yesterday and after leaving behind my friends at the  Farm including two couples from France and one couple from Australia and the Captain attending to a group of 50 school children from a religious boarding school. I had a good full three days of touching all bases of my regular spaces where i usually hang out at. My knee and my teeth still aches but my soul feels rewarded that I have done something useful in the course of my travelling here and there. Each stop had a gift for me to learn from and i was able to share my thoughts and feelings about life with an International group, a predominantly Chinese group as well as a Malay group of fishermen. I feel now a small sense of contentment that my efforts are not gone wasted, even the effort of making this Blog entry. I am sharing my life with the world said one of the French ladies while we were talking about my Blogging. I might not see them again, but who can tell. Does it matter?
It is 4;pm now in the late afternoon and I had just came home from the dentist who hesitated to work on me because my blood pressure was too high. He told me it could trigger s stroke and i told him not to worry and just go ahead an get the tooth out as it is a vicious circle. The pains cause my blood pressure to rise and in order to have to bring my blood pressure down, which i did through simple breathing and deviating my consciousness from the trauma. I survived and am home working on my lap top. One down and two to go and so next Monday i have another date with the young Chinese Dentist all a the cost of One Ringgit. (RM1;00).
I had taken my daughter out for brunch and we later stopped at the Jimat Store or the thrifty store run by the Salvation Army, she like shopping there. While browsing through the second hand books section i cam upon 4 books on the complete works of  C.G, Jung. It is indeed a rare find for me at the cost RM10 for five books including ,The tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller. I began reading Psychology and the East translated by R.F.C. Hull These five books will keep me occupied in the next few weeks if not months as I was inspired by Jungian thoughts and ideas about East and West merging in differences during my college years while studying comparative religions. Till this day I still listen to Jung's talks on You Tube along with Manly.P. Hall and such similar great minds as Jedu Krishnamurti and D.T. Suzuki.
As the anesthesia is staring to wear off I am now feeling the wooziness creeping of pain back into the general a area of my jaw. It is highly doubtful that I will do too much the rest of the evening and thank the lord that i have nough books to keep me occupied.        

Practice make Perfect

Upon return from the 'Farm' i dropped by my friend Ah Huat the auto air conditioning 'doctor' as he is known among regulars, at his shop. He produced a bottle of French  red wine and offered me along with RM220 from selling the scrap metals he said. We sat and chat along with our friend Joe about politics which Ah Huat hates doing but does it anyway 'sembang saja, ma!'. We talked about his 'boss', the PM, Najib and how come he is raising 20 cents more to the gasoline tab. Joe was very adamant about the need for a change in government but we could not find any suitable replacement as the opposition party is as equally not all together there to be trusted to run the country...and so it went till almost ten pm. Then I stopped by my friends at the Fishermen's jetty off Lim Chong Yu  Highway annd had dinner and hung out with my Malay friends who were watching Dr. Zakir Naik the famed Muslim Speaker on TV. We talked about Heaven and Hell a the last question on the show hd something related to this matter of afterlife. Off course Dr. Zakir was well prepared to answer the question posted by one of the audience, a Hindu, a skeptical young non-Muslim out to test the Speaker.
I gave my two cents worth on the subject pointing out that at the moment of death we are face with the most terrifying state of fear that we reach out to anything and everything  that comes to mind to cling on to. We most probably will seek out images that we have felt most comfortable during our lifetime albeit the image of Christ as depicted in pictures or our closest ones like our parents. The Muslims have been prepared to channel their mind towards the All Mighty Allah and His Prophet through their daily recitations of the Verses and professions towards the One Lord and Savior, as do Christians and Hindus etc.Each reaching out towards the deity of their choice  or the elements they have chosen to be their source of power to return to. But chances are at the moment of death, unless we are not sedate by, we are bound to have a struggle in letting go of our physical reality and enter into the unknown realm of the afterlife. 
It has been pointed out scientifically that we hardly use 8-10 percent of our human brain while 90% lays dormant or inactive. Our conscious mind is capable of suppressing most of our thoughts and emotions from freely manifesting in our daily lives; those who can manifest more than usual are considered geniuses or insane. What happens at death when 100% of the human mind is unleashed upon an unprepared soul? Perhaps this is not what actually happens, but if it does, then what Islam has done is to prepare the human mind from panic and straying form the One especially at the moment of death. There is no image ot cling to but the faith in His saving Grace and the complete unequivocal surrender unto Him. The five times a day prayer plus all the rest of the rituals in Islam is to ensure that even the most ignorant will not forget when his time approaches, his faith in Allah.
Islam prohibited any form of graven images for this very reason that the mind does not wander in desperation and cling on to an image that is most comfortable to the one dying. A smiling statue of the Buddha or a Christ looking like Charleston Heston and so forth. A mind that is used to meditating upon the formless image of the Lord will only be confronted by what he has been ordained to practice especially during the moments of death and that is to surrender to His Will absolutely come what may. This meditative state of consciousness is achieved through years of affirming to one's self that "there is None, Allah and that Muhammad is His messenger." In this, it is the same principle for all faith and religious traditions; it is a matter of Practice. As one f my friends commented, "Practice makes perfect,"