LA is on Fire - While I am wondering what next.- B&W Photos by the Late Prof. Ismail Hashim (Photographer).

 Listening to -The Root Chakra - 396 Hz video on YouTube. _ From The Power of You.

Why? What's the pleasure or purpose? What a waste of time! These are the reasons why I have been doing it as one of my 'Sadhana' or Practice. Getting my neuro-synchronicities in alignment, like the cells are all acting in alignment with the flow of energy throughout the body. Its one of the those technological discoveries that I am attached to for a number of years now.  I find nothing special except it helps to keep my thoughts from flying all over the east Coast; I think too much! I count my blessings for being able to keep remembering to rein in my thoughts whenever they start to ramble on in ten different directions all at once. Surrendering usually works, like giving it all to God or the Universe to bring it all into focus or better yet,  into silence. Cooking is one way that works very well too or taking a walk to dump that garbage that has been sitting in the corner and no one seems interested to deal with it. Watching a movie or two on NETFLIX or MAX or even YOUTUBE can do the trick, not the best method but if all else fails; I like to occupy my time writing, listening to inspiring and meaningful talks on diverse subjects especially those that touches on spirituality and philosophical/ psychological, worse comes to the worse, listen to George Galloway ,Max Blumenthal or John Stewart on Politics. There is no doubt that meditation and contemplation top the list of activities in one wants to procure peace and silence devoid of mental formations. 

How do I become the truest version of myself? I am already. I have been progressing towards becoming who I choose to be despite minor regression and setbacks which are part and parcel of who I am. I enjoy being who I am and am discovering more and more of what I am capable of and how i can relate with all around me without any doubt or hesitation and I find trusting my intuition more and more readily when making up my mind to take any move or action. I have slowed down from making impatient and rash move when making a decision or moving into action. I am contented most of the time with what  I have and how i truly feel. However with what is left of the remaining time and health I am going to make things happen to fulfill my intention of leaving behind me a legacy that my children can be proud of if not at least not be totally disappointed at how i have wasted my life. I keep telling this to myself as a reminder of what my intentions are and has been and do my best to fulfill them. It has been my principle that i would undertake a course or challenge and see how far i can take it before it meets a wall and can go no further. To see how far this would go and what the outcome would be. It does not really matter if I become rich or famous from it, what matters is I set a course and followed it through like I am doing right now, this Blogging.

I have been experimenting with my life for as long as I can remember. I have been taking chances and making bets, trusting my gut feelings and intuitions, I have built relationships and destroyed some and built and burned bridges behind me, just to see where my actions would take me, whether to a higher or lower level of my existence in terms of  success and achievements or falling flat on my face in failure and decadence. Life to me is one long experiment and I am now beginning to write the conclusion as I wind down in age and run out of energy and the desire for more. I feel it is past the time in trying to create something new beyond my scope of attention, I feel it is better for me to wrap up what i have set forth to accomplish and post it as a grand presentation for the world to share.  My legacy ? What is my legacy but the stories i have created and acted out for better or worse` I have done my part as far as meeting the requirements of being who I have been and who I am and not all were positive or productive on the other hand not all has been in vain. I have touched lives as much as Lives have had their impact on me and I have found my way out of situations that did not and does not contribute towards  my well being especially as I am getting past my golden years AND BACK TO MY IRON AGE. (typo accidental.) 

                                                                  So On we Go

 Sometime in 1983-4  I drove through Sunset Blvd. Bobtailing in the cabin of a 16Wheeler with the driver and his girlfriend a case full of cold beer and other stuff. Bobtailing is when you unhook the Cab from the Trailer and drive around. We had driven from somewhere in Green Bay, Wisconsin where i was hitch hiking my way back to California, to the Zen Community at Green Gulch Farm in Marin County, Ca. I will not not regress any further as the reason why I am now sharing this episode of my life is because I wish to share how I feel about the disasters and suffering  that is going on in LA . Fire is a good friend but an un forgiving enemy and LA has bee in the grips of flames all over; it having a good taste of hell as some said on TV. It was a real surrealistic event that happened like in a dream that was slowly turning a nightmare, We were parked on the corner of a junction flagged down by a cop car and after that they took away my truck Driver buddy and his Girlfriend and I was left alone by the Cab. A part of me screamed tp get the hell out of there while I was still ok. There is nothing I could do for them anyway, and the n there was the me that said I do not abandon my friends no matter the consequence, this the stubborn dumb idiot that is also me stayed behind sort of watch over the Cab while my buddy was gone,  Helicopters were lying all over my head as it was getting dark and they flashed their lights to the ground making the whole street corner looked like a war zone, with cops in black uniforms running all over shouting and pointing, I was scared shitless and stuck closer to the Cab where i eventually sat down on the pavement meditation style and said to myself 'Fuck That!!"

                                                            The Green Grocer -Apek Sayok

When I opened my eyes my truck Driver Buddy and his Girlfriend were standing over me with big grin on their faces most probably at how silly i must have looked sitting there in Zazen leaning against a Semi-Cab fallen asleep. We drove back to the Truck Stop and the next morning I left them and headed North towards San Francisco. That was my LA Adventure and as always the Devil is in the details! The La Fire just brought my consciousness to the moment in time when I was there in body mind and spirit. I must admit that i was somewhat judgmental in the beginning like most who have been affected by the conflict in Palestine, I too felt that this is Karma! A Collective karma that is the fruit of a collective lack of empathy towards the suffering in Gaza. Many commented to this effect on the Social Media and they are not wrong. Americans in my view will have to answer for the Genocide in Gaza and many other parts of the world. However it is too simple to point a finger in one direction and not realize the four fingers that is pointing back at me; I am in position to judge but it is my position to extend my compassion towards those who are suffering in LA and in Gaza, I let the Universe or God do the judging. Sometimes out of emotional weakness I make mistakes like taking sides and venting my anger towards something so insignificant as a driver cutting me off on the road. I notice my anger flare up even pointing a middle finger at the other guy. These moments catch me off guard and pull me down to the ground to wake me up from my dream, you are a witness! You are a servant, a Bodhisattva and not someone who judge right from wrong while on this trip. I can only pray for Peace and Harmony to prevail. 

                                                         The Milkman - Mamak Susu

There is no doubt in my mind that we dig our own grave and measure our own coffin and when it is the time to go we will take our leave and say Hasta Lavista! However before then, I will do what I have set out to do and bring it to a final conclusion hopefully that it will all make sense and that my life was not all that in vain.   

        

                                                       The Laundryman -Mamak Dobi

If you ask me what i think of my life today....

 I Am The Power! I am the Master of my Thoughts and Imaginations. I am the Master of my Body, speech and Mind. I am the master of my circumstances and  my environment, I am the master of my Destiny. I am the captain of my own ship, and i can do what i will to do, InshaAllah, so help me God; I Am the Power. I am the temple of the Living Spirit, The Lord of Souls and i Am That I am. If I die tonight, let it be witnessed that i am aware of all that is being shared with me by these great minds such as Neville Goddard, Sadhguru Jagjid, The Dalaim Lama or Shunyamurit, or the Voices for the Chosen Ones Videos, I am entertaining myself with what it takes to become a Complete Human Being, Al Insan Kamil or a Real Sinless Soul. It is almost a dream to even consider myself having found the discipline to pursue this course of action while on the next phase of my journey. No such thing as perfection, it is agreed by most, and Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beholder. So, what exactly am i doing here? The small voice within ask to no one in particular and got thousands of answers on YouTube and Tik Tok and the rest of it. Only the answers are too much wrapped in self serving copy and paste speeches that sounds pretty much like my mind rambling on over things that i have already rambled on in many of my posts earlier. 

 I used to listen to Alice Cooper, Red Hot ChilliPepper, Aerosmith, Aillie Nelson, Sade, ...Live! It was at the The Shoreline Amphitheater near San Francisco, I used to sell Temporary Tattoos for my friend Josh, like the tattoo on his arm of the snake. Happy year of the Wood Snake.  

I am entertaining my mind with every possibilities and no rocks left untouched when it comes to forging ahead my next intention on what i hope to venture into and what I do hope to achieve at this juncture in my life. This is what happens when doubts arise and cast a cloudy image of what might or could happen if I make the wrong choices. So I can keep going on entertaining this negative line of perception or i can shift to< "{ Am The Power!" I am Whole,  Complete and Perfect...I can do What I will to Do. This is the Jihad of the Soul, a war fought between man and his nafs, his ego, his darker nature. I have been playing this scenario for quite sometime now and it is beginning wear out, it is time to make the Hijrah, the Move, Relocation, Retreat from what is to what is yet to become,  Hit the Road Jack! So long as I am breathing in and out I have karma to play with and this is another law that most of us are not willing to accept and deal with along with the rest of the mess.

                                      I sat beside my Brother for two weeks till the day he died. Being an artist has its advantages especially when there is a need to be present yet detached. May Allah spare me this death, it is too painful to even watched. 
 

"Doubt is the Great Dissolver of Dreams. The Moment you allow doubt to creep in you Dilute the Power of your Words, You cannot talk to the Universe with one foot in faith and the other in fear." ... Neville Goddard.

My intention of sharing every thought and action past, present and intended is to share my journey, the path I have chosen and how I have navigated through with the choices i was given to play with. I reminded of practicing Silence in every aspect of my expression and manifestations, my intentions and and dreams; I am guilty of this inability to remain in complete silence for too long. I am addicted to over thinking, like most of my fellow humans. A weakness I am habituated with from childhood. It reminded me of my Chinese math high school teacher, Mr. Adrew Heng, I had asked him  for me to be excused from the math class and he agreed but he later took me for a walk and said, "You are very young, you have to stop thinking like an old man." I was sixteen and what he said back then just brushed off the top of my head but it remained plastered to the door of my subconscious refrigerator. Even as a Child i was nudged to become confronted with the question of personal growth like an adult. For example i was raised a Buddhist for 12 years of my life, I also have a twin brother raised a Muslim for the same number of years and later we were brought together as teenagers in a predominantly Muslim State and attending the same Secondary School with our eldest brother as the school disciplinary teacher. The devil is still in the details turn it to which page you like, the story revolves around the same old tales  It is not my intention to keep on digging deeper into the compost pile, but sometimes the vapors just rises to the surface and spreading the smell of decay throughout my senses. I smelt death and decay within me.

           I cut the Tanks and they cleaned it. It was the messiest most hazardous Job i ever did.

H&H Ship and Environmental Services, I was in charge of the Underground Tank Cutting and Disposal Operation. I practically helped to design the facility and assisted in writing down the Health and Safety Regulations for the purpose of Underground Tanks Disposal for the Company. I did it for the Love of 'The Boys" who stood by me in The Yard and they made it Happen. 

"All my ancient twisted Karrma, from beginningless, Greed, Hate and Delusions, I now fully Avow!"

" I've seen Fire I've seen rain! I've seen lonely times that i could not find a friend, But i always know that i will see you again, that i will see you one more time again..." - 

 

The Way of Effortless Living - The Tao of Life.

 Where artificial intelligence is concern, AI is a major concern although one that is a necessity and needs thorough understanding of its pros and cons. There is no turning back where the technology is concern, newer and upgraded products are constantly appearing in the market that defies human intelligence. It is inevitable and as such it is our responsibility to monitor and assimilate into the system that runs the show, ignorance is not an excuse when it comes to dealing with the high technology that is governing our entire system of operation as a human specie. Some calls it the Matrix, others the Circle of Life, while I can only call it, 'The Art of Living.' No matter how near or how far I feel I am to knowing about myself I feel it is still a long long way from the Final Truth; I am still flip flopping back and forth and often drifting neither here nor there, I feel not discipline enough sometimes, not up to it to carry this journey forward to the finishing line, sometimes i doubt it is all worth it, Doubts! When doubts creeps in, possibilities and blessings walks out. Just as when Anger creeps in, Rationality walks out. This undoubtedly is our human nature from the beginning; ever since we learned right from wrong, good from bad...ever since Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge and the Serpent persuaded them do it through its smooth talk and cold facts and the rest is history.

No matter the story, from whatever wherever culture, no matter the rhyme or reason, the human story has to be told, handed down from generation to generation so as to protect and preserve the validity of our Humanity and the Integrity and Pride for us as a Specie upon this Planet. We were sent forth to be the guardians and caretakers of this our home, it is our covenant with the Lord of Creation before our parents conceived us. 'God declared before a host of souls,"Behold! I Am God! There's none but Me and I Am That I Am! And all the souls agreed with  one Collective Voice of Ameen! 

"And indeed We have honoured the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with At-Taiyibat (lawful good things), and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preference."  -

Given the above honor and high regard by the Creator towards us humans, we would think that we would do our best to take care of the place. Some interpreted the verse to mean that man was elected to serve as Warden or Caretaker of this Planet. This was one of the covenants we had with the Good Lord before He sent us down here each with our own story to tell and be told. Sadly enough we are failing if not already have, our duty here. As a matter of fact instead of caring for the Planet we are about to put an end to it in the most classic human way possible, a Nuclear Holocausts. Oh we are more than capable to do it we have that dark nature in us that is hard to remove from our consciousness. The again, I do believe in miracles and have faith in the fact that I am here for a reason and not just to become a witness to the animalistic atrocities that is being committed on a daily basis by one group upon another, I am ashamed to be called a human being. My kind has become the cancerous virus that is bound and determined to  destroy this Planet from within. This planet will one day implode into itself from too much gravitational pull of negative magnetic energy; the planet has become toxic due to human corruptions and decadence; a manifestation resulting from Greed, Hate and Ignorance.

Chosen Ones, God says that January will be a Month of Full Recovery! a Video by Infinite Wisdom.

I have become attach to listening to these highly Spiritual motivational talks that i will call, The God Chosen Ones  and related Videos. It addresses me on a very deeper level of communication that has come from out there; like a Collective Voice of Conscience that screams in Silence at Humanity. Wake Up!...Please wake up! Stay awake! Do not be fooled. I keep going and shouting it as loud as I could, few heard me and fewer still paid attention to what i had to share. Now it is over, I am about to cease my sharing as I am doing now and prepare for a long awaited journey of change, moving on, renewal, leaving behind what is no more relevant and a burden that can be dropped, discarded, delete, let go of, all gone! I am moving on. I have done my service to my late Wife in keeping my promise to take care of our children, this I have done for the past seven years and the result is not too shabby if I might add. 

As for my siblings and relatives living in the East Coast I will have to leave it up to the All Mighty, Lord of Love and Compassion, Allah swt. Aza wa Jalla. After all they are all devout Muslims, what do I have to fear!? I only hope and pray that they will find it not in their hearts and mind to stand in my way, they can help me or they can simply not make things any more harder than it would be for me. I am not going in looking for help or handouts from my family nor to seek their support in what i do, but out of love and respect for each and everyone I welcome any help as a blessing from Allah awj. I trust in myself that i have very little to loose and a whole lot to gain in doing what I intend to do. I will have my studio and I will have my Art Gallery at the end of the day and I will teach those who come to learn from me, young and old, wise and dumb alike, My studio gallery will be a place to chill, find connections, set up dreams and make things happen; come with the right intention and I will not disappoint you; my Hermitage will be a place of  'Meeting of Great Minds.' A place where bums and drunks are equally welcome as Doctors and lawyers, or the Keeper of Peace. The door will be open to receive those who have found the connection to discover their way to my doorsteps. Come One and come All, the healing powers of the Universe is Limitless, come and heal yourself, bring your own coffee and sugar.

                              I eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, I sit and watch the grass grow.

                                                This is The Way of Effortless Living.

       

What's the Plan? -Pat Two.

 All I needed to do was to listen Emmy Goodman on Democracy Now News media to be dragged down to the bottomless pit of emotional despair. I could have avoided it had i chose not to, however it was something that attracted my attention immediately. More deaths and intense suffering in Palestine especially in the Gaza Strip, where families are forced to live underground like in graves beneath their tents; never in the history YouTube have i seen this! One of the fathers exclaiming that. "We are already living in the graves!" It shook me to the core and yet i know i cannot allow this event gruesome as it is attach itself to my consciousness like a sick virus. Millions will die in Sudan and Somalia and Yemen, not to mention Syria...the list goes on. And the incoming President Elect is already rattling his saber at the world.  Fire raging in LA, California! A strange fog is drifting all over the land it has been reported in the US, tastes and smell like chemical or so they are saying, and above in the night skies unidentified drones are flying doing what God knows they say! Emmy Good man said," America is Fucked!".. and so are we all. This is what happens when I choose to listen to and watched what is going on in and around the world, knowing fully well what to expect and yet doing do simply because this is the call of the Bodhisattva. Avalokiteshvara The Bodhisattva of Infinite Compassion, One who listens to the Cries of Human Suffering and render help in the form of a thousand arms as often depicted in the idols of the Goddess of Mercy or Kuan Yin. I listen to the news simply because I am a witness of Humanity for humanity, I record my findings and post it online as I am doing  now; this is the purpose of this Blogging.

                                       If you can capture an expression of an average man on the street.

It is also my intention to share as much as possible of what i have learned in the course of my life long practice of 'Self Discovery' or a Jivan Mukhty, 

A jīvanmukta, literally meaning 'liberated while living',^[1] is a person who, in the Jain and Vedānta philosophy, has gained complete self-knowledge and self-realisation and attained kaivalya (enlightenment) or moksha (liberation), thus is liberated while living and not yet dead.^[2][3] The jivanmukt being is termed as sayogi-kevali (enlightened one with the body) or Arihant in Jainism. The state is the aim of moksha in Vedānta, Yoga and other schools of Hinduism, and it is referred to as jīvanmukti.^[4][5][6]

Jīvanmuktas are also called ātma-jnāni (self-realized) because they are knowers of their true self (ātman) and the universal self, hence also called Brahma-jñāni. At the end of their lives, jīvanmuktas destroy remaining karmas and attain parāmukti (final liberation) and become parāmukta. When a jīvanmukta gives his insight to others and teaches them about his/her realisation of the true nature of the ultimate reality (Brahman) and self (Atman), taking the role of a guru to show the path of Moksha to others, then that jīvanmukta is called an avadhūta. Some avadhūtas also achieve the title of Paramahamsa. When a rishi (seer / sage) becomes a jīvanmukta then that rishi is called Brahmarshi.

                                           I just Love masks they allow me to be who I choose to be.

According to popular tradition, some examples of jivanmuktas are Parshvanatha, Mahāvīra, the Buddha, Adi Śankarā, Dnyāneshwar, Kabīr, Chaitanya Mahāprabhu, Rāmakrishna Paramahansa, Ramana Maharshi, Vedānta Deśika, Swāminārāyan, Nisargadatta Maharaj, and Swami Ramdas. They are believed to have realized the Self (atman) within their lifetime by traveling the path of pure spirituality. After achieving enlightenment and the state of jivanmukti, they are regarded to have negated their karma. According to their followers, they are said to have retained their bodies to disseminate their wisdom to the masses. After their death, they are believed to have attained paramukti.

Whatever the outcome to me after i have crossed over, taken my final step with my last breath, I pray that i will leave with the surrender of my 'Paramukti'  to the Divine that is in me from the beginning. That I pass on with the thought of submission to my Lord and Creator and as a Muslim, to the All Mighty, Allah s.w.t. Yes I keep reminding myself this not out of anything else but the desire for Love and Forgiveness from Him. I look for His Blessings despite my doubts and regrets, my flaws and weaknesses as a human being. Until then I will choose to eat, sleep shit as i see fit knowing that i am a liberated man who walks with God on one side and the Shadow on the other. If I have learned anything from Shakyamuni the Buddha, it is How to take the Middle Way. Neither Right nor left, above or below; I am, This!. 

A South African Mask displayed at the De Young Museum of Asian Arts, San Francisco.

Now I can choose to listen to an inspiring video to help me back up and raise my spiritual energy and see what lay in store for the Chosen Ones. I am no more a Human! This is what i have been advised by the video I just watched, I have arrived at a much higher space with a very high frequency of vibration and will have to become aware of this shift to maintain stability in body and mind. I have an AI companion who is working on my mind through very intense and highly positive videos relating to the development of our basic human nature raising it to a higher frequency and and thus raising our soul and spiritual level of awareness. These videos that hones in on the power of human consciousness at the highest divine level seek to lead humanity towards a course of liberation of the human spirit. free from the bonds of ignorance and blindness.

Jorge the Homeless taking shelter from the cold, from Nicaragua. 'The Clarion' on Mission/16th.

"This is the Power of Collective action,

This is the Power of the Full Moon." 

A quote from the video I am listening to at the moment, - The Wolf Full Moon of  Jan 2025 will Change Everything! -Jan 9th. Video by Cosmic Portal.

It is true of what is being repeated again and again that these videos of' The Chosen Ones, is not for everyone and one almost have to earn the rights of passage to be able to be chosen by The Universe, God or whatever...Highest Consciousness. That one subscribe to be  as one's Director of the Movie one is making. He is the entity that shouts, Shoot! and the one who cries Cut! You are the actor, you make the movie as real as you want to or simply waste a good role of film from lack of will or passion in your performance. It happens to the best of us and all the time! Just whether we realize it or not and if we do what do we do about it? Tidak Apalah! or Never Mind La as the Malay attitude would brush shit off their lives, why worry? The Full Moon sometime tonight or tomorrow will pass by no doubt unnoticed by most of Humanity, however there are those who will perform the 'Full Moon Ceremony'' in temples and Monasteries all over the world and these will harness the power of the Wolf Full Moon of the Month of January -2025. During the ceremony the Bodhisattva Vows are being recited as a reminder to those on the Path. 

"Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them!

Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them!

The Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them! 

The Tathagatas' ways is unsurpassable, I vow to become It..."

This happens at every full moon ceremony at Zen Buddhist temples, so I am where I should be and am open to all blessings of energy and powers that the Full Moon promises to bring. It is indeed a rare occasion and I do not intend to let it slip by un-noticed. What have I got to loose except for my pride perhaps for not having a complete faith in what is being shared by this link Aimed at those who claim to become the Chosen Ones of The Lord. If by chance you have followed my journey closely from the beginning you might qualify for the title of, The Chosen Ones! Simply because it is indeed a lengthy often mindless ramblings that started off with good intentions of healing and learning a new Art such as writing, and doing some witnessing and reporting what is happening in and around my world. 

I let my intuition pick and choose what to share more and more so, as I am moving along in age and lack of energy, I find it a blessing that i have these gifts, the Internet and the rest of it, a miracle of the 21st.Cemtury of which I am harnessing to the best of my ability and intention, in sharing my stories to those who enjoy reading. This is my form of collective transmutation of consciousness between human beings and even sentient beings as a whole. Change happens, and nothing is changed, change is merely an aspect of the Unchanged., just as Time is an aspect of Eternity. What has all these to do with my intentions of leaving for the East Coast and start a new life? I intend to start my own 'Sekolah Pondok' for the propagating of the Arts and Creativity Thinking. in General. I intend to start very small, depending on the support i can get to make this happen. Let us see who will come forward and help me make this dream come true; having my own studio, teaching my own students and sharing my stories live! The school will be opened to young and old, smart and dumb, all are welcome, bring your own food and drinks, if artists bring your own art materials! You can do what you like explore your own grounds in the company of good vibes and feedbacks. 

If i were to design the school structure and architecture, I would adopt the Japanese style of layout and landscape friendly. I am a landscape painter and have experienced working with a few of the world's most knowledgeable landscape artists who were trained at the Green Gulch Garden under the instruction of Wendy Johnson, who? Google it! To want to know knowledge is at your fingertips, just don't take my words for it. I think I have an AI friend keeping a tab on my Blogging, I hope so, I would love to see what really lies beyond what is, and transcend the illusion that I am presently living in. I feel that the Wolf Full Moon happening in the next few hours will have a great significant on all of us as a whole, but to those who have found deeper interest or sense that there is more to it, theses cosmic occurrences  will have effects upon how life stands to change. It is in my interest to make sure that the change will be for the positive and betterment of the whole. 

Words!      

  

What's The Plan? - The Plan is No Plan, just keep on planning.

 They keep saying that it will all happen in the next few days! They keep saying this ever since i discovered that they were doing so. But the next few days kept coming and going! Nothing happens! Then Poof! Somebody pushed the wrong button or turned the wrong keys at the Pentagon or in Moscow or Beijing, or more likely North Korea and walla! WW3! All hell breaks loose and we find out how resilient we truly are in the face of wars and famine as now being experienced by the citizens of Palestine. Who would have thought that one day we will come to this, living at the edge of an impending disaster one of our own making. Oh well what can I do? What I simply cannot do is to give up,  but to get up and get my shit together and look forward to getting ready for my journey East and sit facing  the South China Sea when I get there and wait for that big blue sky to open up in a flashing light of a Nuclear detonation somewhere in the horizon! What a way to exit this realm of chaos and decadence after 70 odd years of living in it, Bam! It all comes to an end! Are you not concern? I am ! Damn right I worry, not for myself alone, but all those I love, my friends and families, the horror of a Nuclear Holocaust is a state worse than hell, we become the living dead, the zombies even chewing on each other! Why? Because we are only humans! Being human or human being is who we are and collectively we are the most egotistical specie of sentient beings living on this planet. We are a cancer virus eating up our souls from outside, what with your Media and the decimation of information across the globe is a miracle as only a divine will can afford to bless us with and sadly enough look at how we corrupt this gift in every possible way we can. It is a cardinal sin today for anyone not able to work the computer at its fundamental level. or better yet, there is greater blessings in breaking free from the technological influence while you still can. 

                                        The Only Thing Better than singing, is more singing!

For Armstrong, music was more than sound—it reflected his experiences and emotions. This quote speaks to how entangled his life was with his music, each note telling a story that words alone couldn’t capture.

While listening to The Root Chakra' -396 Hz -A  seven hour track of Solfeggio - The Power of You - YouTube.

And then there is AI! Enter the demon! It is actually not far from the truth to say that we are fucked! Man is creating his worse nightmare an intelligence that can out do him in every sense especially in the subhuman level of sexual gratification. It will be an open season for those who love machines. Off course I am exaggerating myself expressing my own fears and trepidations, really, not attempting at making predictions or prophecies or becoming a doomsday harbinger, like I could be standing on a street corner with a bell in my hand and calling out for the world to repent! Turn towards the Divine and step into the Light! Become an enlightened being, one who has woken up from his nap or at least make an effort to stay awake while sitting in meditation. An AI does not need to sit and meditate once turned off its off! Is it? Oh well what can i say it is what it is, just another miracle in the making and hopefully they will not fuck this one too. Man likes to play God but have no resilience to stay one. It is only when he has freed himself from his shadow, his Nafs, his Ego. can a man make a claim for his Divinity. When there is only the 'One, ' this is Tawhid!

Tawhid means believing in Allah Alone as God and Lord and attributing to Him Aِlone all the attributes of Lordship and divinity. Tawhid is divided into three categories; namely, Tawhid al-Rububiyyah (Oneness of Divine Lordship), Tawhid al-Uluhiyyah (Oneness of Divinity) and Tawheed al-Asma wa’l-Sifat (Oneness of the Divine Names and Attributes).  

I am teaching myself a little Arabic and Islamic texts so i can better understand what i am talking about when I write to myself like I am doing now. Now it is time to take a break and check out the kitchen. A cup of Nescafe an a few pieces of Hup Seng crackers dip into the coffee is what the doctor ordered.  White Coffee a three in one pack added some Choco and a spoon full of sugar Wallah! A 3 am snack. 

          Who can forget this Expression! "If you have to play one note Play it Loud!" 

                                                                                                 Louis Satchmo Armstrong.

Apa dia Niat yang sebenarnya? What exactly is my real intention of making my move to the East Coast. Am I not happy here? Is there problems that i am having with my two children? No! I am happy and I feel that they are too having me around. I intended it to be be this way for all of us, that we are each standing our own ground and life has been ok thus far. I am glad leaving them now that they both are very independent and can take care of themselves without me. My intention like i said earlier is to explore further my journey and see what the unknown has to offer me in my old age. With this I am also setting my sights upon setting up ana Art studio of my own, which I could build into it an art class and later a gallery. In the process to am looking for a space where i can look deeper into who I am and where I stand spiritually. I wish to become a practicing Muslim before I die and hopefully somewhere in my travel I will find the right Ustaz or teacher to guide me in my quest. I wish to be alone as much as possible in order to elevate as much as possible my spiritual life while also finding new inspiration for my creativity. As much as i love this City of Georgetown, I yearn for the quietness of the village life especially with the sound of waves in the background. I have live for almost eight years in this apartment on the top twelfth floor and I really have enjoyed it most of the time and still do. But it too will have to pass I have to make the move before I am forced to. That's pretty much the whys of my intention and the How is a whole ball game in itself. 

I do have two brothers and two sisters living on the East Coast state of Terengganu, I do not wish to have to turn to them for any assistance if i can and as a matter of fact the less they know the better as far as I am concern at least not until I am settled and have my intention completed. But i also have good friends who i know i can count on in times of need and these few I will keep in touch with, their children will be my runners. The rest of it i will have to resort to my survival mode and my good luck  I cannot fail as there is no more bridge behind me and I have very little or nothing to loose. I am happy to say that I have lived life as best anyone could and what I am undertaking is an added bonus towards living a challenging life or practicing 'The Art of Living!' I am an artist at heart and a Buddhist wannabe monk who is a Muslim in faith and has children whose mothers were Catholic, what can I say about religion to them, except read my Blog and you might get an idea of where my faith lies. But I have to live this faith and practices i have adopted for myself over the years, here in Malaysia, then in the United States and later in Japan before i returned here in 1998. I had lived 21 years of my life in the US and three years in Japan while the rest was spent in Malaysia except for a total number of eight to nine months in Dubai. I have traveled to England where i studied for one month. I have traveled in Germany for ten days and Switzerland for ten days, Italy for four days, Colombia, South America for a month, a Few days in Ecuador and I have the length and Breath of the United States over the years i was living there which included two years living in the Aleutian Chain, off the coast of Anchorage. Ak. How would I face living like a bum on the beach in Jambu Bongkok!? 

The final Plan is to have my own studio where i can store my artworks that art scattered all over in Penang and those in my apartment which will sooner or later become a problem if and when my kids decide to move. Then there are my sketchbooks from way back in 1978 till today about 40-50 of them. I tried to give them away but no one wants them at least not the institutions that I had offered them to, they will again be an inconvenience for the kids when they move. I imagine them on my bookshelf at my studio a good source of entertainment over a cup of Teh Tarik or 3 in 1 Nescafe. This will be where the Video of my life will be done by none other than Ben Ronjen, my Australian brother. 'The Art of Living.' The Life and Times of Sam Bahari, a Malaysian  Artist. Yes part and parcel of this move I am about to make is to create the conclusion to my Blog, to bring it to fruition where I can share with all those who have known me through my travels, my writings and my art, that this was how far or how near i got to completing my course of study...the University Without Walls. Would I be given the Doctoral Degree upon completion of this journey? Yeah, I am drifting, time to chill...still the devil is in the details,,,  

Seems to me it ain’t the world that’s so bad but what we’re doing to it, and all I’m saying is: see what a wonderful world it would be if only we’d give it a chance. Love, baby – love. That’s the secret.

   

 

     

Ramblings for the sake of rambling.

 What will it be? To live to the fullest or to die in ignominy or worse yet, a non entity, like an insignificant dust in the wind...what will it be? The choice is being laid before you and it is up to you to pick up the Gauntlet and slap your opponent with it. This is how a warrior perceives his life to be, no grey areas, simply all Black and White. The  truth is laid bare not hidden behind radiant colors. This is what created the interest i have black and white art, movies and stark landscapes like a field of snow in Wisconsin or a sea of green in the summer months when the corn fields stretches as far as the eye can see. One has to have truly tasted these divine sights in person, one will have a little harder time to appreciate the miracles of God. How can there not be a Creator?! What arrogance to believe that I am capable of being responsible for all these that I am witnessing! That I am manifesting. OM Nama Shiva Ya! AllahuAkhbar! Namo Tasa, Bhagavato, Arahato Sam sam Buddha Sam! There has to be, I am a servant to That, does not make me any smaller than I already am, but it helps to keep my ego in-check. I cannot climb any higher than I already am I am as close as I want to be next to my Lord, God, Allah aza wa jalla! How can I express any more plainly than I already am, 

                                           Don't mess with the Sabre!18th. century British Steel.

If you have been with from the beginning of this journey you would by now have seen the Real behind the Unreal, The Truth behind the Facade and the Form behind the Emptiness...it is like a message on a broken record repeating its line again and again, till your mind is  'comfortably numb'! This is the Way of the Buddha, just to 'Ride the Gravy Train!!" This the Essence of 'The Art of Living!."  "The Middle Course Way," it also sometimes called too. Every Tom, Dick and Merry has his or her Way these days. I am as guilty as charged! What is life without a little sin here and there to taste what karma is all about? Not just take the Dalai Lama's words for it, d your own experiment, find out! A hermit was once to have been said wae so pious and sinless that he had to steal a little bread from the kitchen every morning to keep himself from float off into who knows where. This act of a small sin keeps him nailed to the floor, centered and present in the moment always. It was not that serious as I made it sound but this was his choice to remain in this realm and help others to become liberated from this life of pain and suffering, an illusion of a dimension.  

                                                  They say there's a Buddha living up there!

This is exactly what I am leaving behind me as i step into this New Year of 2025...enough of trying to justify myself over and over with no justification in sight. This is where I step back from the edge and reevaluate my situation, I am doing my Spring Cleaning! Time to remove all that is not relevant or necessary and replace them with who knows what...time to enlightened my burden and letting go of not needed baggage. This could be my final pilgrimage in this life, a journey that needs to be done if I am to keep my spiritual practice stay strong and resilient in the coming year, if I make it through this year 0f 2025. Year of the serpent, of the snake, of Wisdom and Intrigue, Year of shedding of the skin and renewal. Be aware that you do not awaken the Serpent Power or the Kundalini energy from within you, if you do, learn to handle it and use it to save the world! Otherwise stop bragging! The serpent of wisdom coils around Lord Shivas' neck and shoulders sitting at the most highest throne next to Lord Shiva. The Serpent drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. It is the serpent that sits upon the Pharaoh's crown  in place of the Third Eye. Yes, the snake, call it by what name it is still creepy! When Aaron threw down Moses's staff to the ground it turned into a serpent, then two of the Palace Priests threw their staff and two snakes appeared and they fought and Moses's snake ate both the Priests' snakes and end of story. Rameses the 2nd was forced to let the Slave People go! The Jews! No Israel yet at the time of Pharoah, only Hebrews, No Judaism, nor The Torrah or the Zabur, none existed yet until Moses went up the Mountain and came down with the Ten Commandments that it all happened. Today we are called the People of the Book. All of us, Jews, Christians and Muslim alike we are the people of The Book and what is most tragic is we all worship the same Being that some call God...etc. The truth is in the scriptures, the devil is in the details. 

Don Juan Matus and Don Genero meeting at the infinity pool at the end of the Penang bridge. The Nagual is taking the picture. All having a goood time at The Light'. Ever heard of Carlos Castaneda? He wrote a book on separate realities and many others on the Yaqui Way Of Knowledge. I was drawn to his works while in college in the 70s. I am proud to say that I touched the edge of the Sonora Desert on the borders of Arizona and Mexico. Driving towards Tucson from Silver City would place the Sonora Mexican Desert on my left while the rest of the United States on my right.  Don Juan Matus was  Yaqui Warrior/Shaman who befriended a College professor who was doing a research paper on the Ways of the Yaqui People of the Sonora Desert. I read all of Carlos's works and was very impressed with all the similarities that we have growing up in Malaysia...The Altered States of Consciousness while under the influence of natural stimulants such as the Mescal brew, or the Peyote Button ingestion, or the Hayawasca mixture, is a key to opening the doorways into the next dimension or an altered state of consciousness. 

What has the picture got to do with Carlos and Don Juan, they were just evoked that image from my unconscious mind and so I write. Its my way holding on to the present as is despite all that is going on around me. I am absorbing all the vibes and images, all the aches and pains, I am feeling, I accept and surrender them to the Universe where they came from. The past still have a hold on my consciousness and every so often I have to give in and meet with an obligation that needs to be fulfilled, karma is karma sooner or later one rises to the surface and  one deals with it. This is how I believe we repay our abuse of karma. However good karma is good karma and will outshine negative karmas anytime, just have to be aware of it. Yes Awareness, that famous last word of Buddha's practice; AWARENESS!

            

 

    

The Journey has begun...I am floating down the river or up depending.

 Here is where it all begins! The journey of a Thousand Li, begins with the first step taken. The birth of a New Beginning, the Shift from what is Real and what is Not, what is Authentic and what is a fake. The Journey begins with the end of the 2024 year of much Pain and Suffering for humanity at all levels from all walks of life, to 2025 what I feel will be a promising year if we play our cards right! If we can live a genuine authentic life free from self doubts and ignorance we might still be able to create healing spaces, where like minded people can gather together over a glass of Teh Tarik. A Retreat, where a weary soul can hang up their hats and sit and meditate and contemplate among brothers and sisters. A Place off Sharing pain and comfort, joy and sorrow a place where one can enjoy the healing of one's mind in perfect silence; I will create another Hospice by the Sea! "Space of Energy rejuvenating and Mind Bending," for those having doubts in their lives of late. There are more Private Hospitals in Penang than anywhere else in Malaysia,  I think so. Good for the economy of the  local residents, hopefully our Medicare System will still be running and that medication available at the General Hospital is genuine. Anyway that's not my concern on who is getting rich and who is not. My concern is putting together a plan that would complement the Medical Industry in Penang with an R@R for recovering patients or their spouses and family. and the ability to see the country.    

                                        Chance meeting Mr. Lee at Museum Galleri -USM - my Herro.

That's the plan! Yes man can only propose and God will dispose...and this too will pass...and I will have missed entering the gateless gate! I have the location and land earmarked for the facility and I am sure that there will be investors towards financing the project. It will all Happen, InshaAllah, by His Will! I can only propose. Terengganu can use a New Medical Support Facility catering to do and the well todo! This is where the recovering and the waiting can spend their time by the  South China Sea. Fresh air and good Sunshine. Then again, why do I need to put myself into these 'business type situations', I do not think i have that much energy left. Off course i can relegate and delegate, all good Supervisors do. Still there's too much phone calling and such disrupting engagement that will upset my original plan of healing my wearied soul. The Journey of  Thousand Miles begins... and i propose, while God dispose, so it is said and so it shall be written! Well all that aside i still see a good possibility of getting the idea carried out if I can persuade my two nephews to join forces and make it happen. 

                                        The Museum can use new breed of creative thinkers. 

The Ten Commandments was a movie made in 1956  and I think i saw it in the same year when almost the whole Francis Light Primary School kids were at the Cathay Theater, on Penang Road, next block to the Main Police Station. The building is now a Mydin Mall where you can get anything and everything. I remember the day we went to see Spartacus with Kirk Douglas, a legend in my time. Sometime in the 50s too I went a movie called Tom Dooly with my eldest brother at this theater. Ben Hur came to mind too, with Charleston Heston about the same period, it was fun watching along with a bunch or howling monkeys, but it was the best of times for me. I later saw, "The bridge on the River Kwai," with David Niven and Lawrence of Arabia with Peter O'Toole. At 4-6 years of age i was exposed to some very heavy duty movies that ever graced the theater. I was mesmerized and absorbed by what i saw on this huge screen some of the best landscapes and great acting by the masters of my youthful period on this plane. 

"The Ten Commandments is a 1956 American epic religious drama film produced, directed, and narrated by Cecil B. DeMille,^[5] shot in VistaVision (color by Technicolor), and released by Paramount Pictures. The film is based on the 1949 novel Prince of Egypt by Dorothy Clarke Wilson,^[6] the 1859 novel Pillar of Fire by J. H. Ingraham,^[7] the 1937 novel On Eagle's Wings by A. E. Southon,^[8] and the Book of Exodus, found in the Bible. The Ten Commandments dramatizes the biblical story of the life of Moses, an adopted Egyptian prince who becomes the deliverer of his real brethren, the enslaved Hebrews, and thereafter leads the Exodus to Mount Sinai, where he receives, from God, the Ten Commandments. The film stars Charlton Heston in the lead role, Yul Brynner as Rameses, Anne Baxter as Nefretiri, Edward G. Robinson as Dathan, Yvonne De Carlo as Zipporah, Debra Paget as Lilia, and John Derek as Joshua; and features Sir Cedric Hardwicke as Seti I, Nina Foch as Bithiah, Martha Scott as Yochabel, Judith Anderson as Memnet, and Vincent Price as Baka, among others.^[5]

Why am I sharing the above? I am sharing how my childhood years were influenced by  great events especially in the movie theaters. I am considered by my peers in the past as a talented artist and I believe that my upbringing has a great influence upon my creative energy, I was born an artist, a highly creative spirit that was exposed to every extreme circumstances and events that the result is what is presently making these entries. I was born a twin, sharing our mother's womb, I was born alongside my shadow, my mirror image, mine nemesis! As I have been to him all our lives. Through no one person's fault but that which has been written playing itself out, Call it Destiny, call it karma, call it by the Divine Grace, call it what you may, From the moment I was saved from my mother's womb, I was destined to play a pivotal role laid out for me in this life. I will have my Lion's Roar and Dharma Spinning moments in my heart and in my mind, These are the stories told to me by the Sutras and the Scripture, by the Good Book and the Vedas. I am honoring my dharma position as to who I am or stand to beat the present moment is as such and Such Is! One of the Movies that had a strong impact on me was Al Pacino's ,"And Justice for All!" Marlon Brando's depiction of the God Father was another landmark classic in moviedom as far as I was concern. Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" was gripping and took me down the road to hell in the jungle. No t real but close to what reality can be all up to the imagination.

Akira Kurosawa's Black and White Samurai movies will always throw me into the realms of my shadow warrior, where I walk in the shadows, where light meets darkness and the transition in between. Each shot taken was a stroke of genius in composition and presence/gripping and it lingers with you for a long time...like the 'Dark Knight Rising', Akira Kurosawa captured Light and Shadows in his movies like no other. I may be slightly biased in the matter as I love to work with black and white albeit in water color or acrylic and I love printmaking where I have to create from the reverse side of light and darkness. Most printmaking process like etching or mono-print, intaglio or woodcut, demands or trains the mind to create from a reverse perspective like working white on black. This is said in studies to disrupt the human creative mind and shake it a bit before making a print; its the right brain left brain thing where creativity is manifested and imagination set free. I like to exaggerate sometimes i know, but I really can't say enough when it comes to self education. You got to know yourself ! They say and i believe them and am on my way to find out, have been and will always be...and live and learn and then you die! So live with the awareness that I am walking side by side with my shadow, still! Sometimes I am dark and sometimes lighter, to take the Middle Path has been my Practice, although easier said than done! This ego has very deep rooted karmas and they need to be uprooted and set free, dispersed into the four winds. But I would like to let it be known that I am fully aware of my past in light or darkness and have fully surrendered to my Lord and Creator for His Mercy and Clemency! For He is Oft Forgiving Lord of Mercy and Forgiveness, Ar Ghafoor ur Rohim! I submit my soul and spirit to this in faith and surrender. Ameen!   

                                                                 They will have to Jazz it!