I Am a Rolling Stone! that leaves behind its track record.

 

It was an Art Festival out in the open with all kinds of creative activities including food and everything else or so i felt with everyone involved getting set up at each and every individual tables and mine was to present a Print Making demonstration! I was running back and forth getting the things i needed together for what i thought was ding an etching demo. I felt all kinds of pressure with everyone i felt were looking forward to me making a fool of myself at failing. Some were cheering me on while others were laughing and snickering at my struggles to accomplish the impossible for how can one carry out a Print Making project out in the open amidst crowds of people cheering and jeering me on? There were hose who even offered me Marijuana or ganja to help me in the process and this turned into an even bigger fiasco as found myself fumbling trying to get a smoke on the joint i was offered; it was a humiliating effort as sparks flew all over splattering but i persisted getting to where i needed to accomplish. In a dream shit happen in the most weirdest way and in the most unimaginable places and this dream took place in my own backyard in the presence of my fellow Malaysian friends but it ended or so it seems with me back in the Print Making studio at the University of Green Bay, Wisconsin where i finally go it together with the help of a familiar lady fellow print maker who handed me my favorite apron i used while doing my printing at the studio, a brown felt full body apron.. As I tied the strap around my waist I found myself screaming from the depth of my soul...CLARRY NELSON COLE! This woke me up from the dream. Not two minutes after the Azan or call for the fajr or morning prayer came from the loud speakers of the State Mosque...and like always, the Devil was in the details of my dream. 

My Art Forte has always been in Print Making ever since I was first introduced to it while in college in Green bay, Wisconsin and I had studied under my late professor and friend  Mr. Clarry Nelson Cole who was originally from Sierra Leone, Africa. I spent a great deal of my life while at the university in the print making studio sometimes for twelve to fourteen hours a day until the administration decided that I could sleep in the studio provided that the studio door was locked while i worked at night. The loft in the studio was cleared so I can turn it into my sleeping quarter if i felt too tired to work. One morning after an all night long of doing a series of monoprints of faces of Native American Chiefs I fell asleep and was woken up by two ladies who cam in to do their work. They were unaware that i was up there on the loft looking down at them looking at my works pasted on the studio wall, One of them told the other, " He does this but he hardly sell any of them, this is Art for Art's sake." I was moved by her statement and fell back to sleep. I remember selling a few of these prints which was done on and oval copper plate to a Greek friend, George Berberis who lived in San Jose, California when I moved to live in San Francisco from Wisconsin... that was another episode of my life where i met a great man, a brother and lost through my own faults.

Another opportunity presented to me in my later life was when my family moved to Sendai, Japan where at the Miyagi Museum of Fine Arts had and open studio policy that invites all artists local or foreigners to carry out their work for free including instructors and tools and equipment. There they had a good Print Making facility where I spent most of my free time enjoying doing what I love to do. I had six solo exhibitions in the City and sold a great many of my works. In Penang I was able to do print making at the University Science Malaysia where i did numerous mono prints to my credit and held solo shows in several of the prominent galleries in the City of Georgetown. I was never a disciplined but an obsessed print maker. I could produce as many quality works as fast as my fingers could move, I am proud to say, however it seems nothing last too long that I can call my success due to one fault or another that I have. As the saying goes, I am a rolling stone that will gather no moss and now I am contented with it with no regrets as I never intended to hang around too long in any relationship, career or hobbies like most people; I am a Rolling Stone and although I gather no moss, I leave behind me a trail of mini successes.

In this dream I had this morning someone, I felt like a Chinese friend made a remark, "You will never!" learn just before I was offered my brown felt apron and gave that loud scream. Perhaps in this life what I learn is that to be hooked on with years of doing the same thing in career of otherwise is not my style and as I have mentioned before, I am an eclectic who chose the best of all possibilities and move on before I am hooked for good by anyone or anything that would tie me down.

Don't forget to Subscribe, hit the like button... we will spin the stories for you.

 Gravitas, Times of India, Hindustan Times, Janta Ka Reporter, Firstpost.; what have these Web Sites in common? They are all originating from India and they cover the Middle east and global issues like a Bollywood Action Movie often accompanied by a intense music scores like the Jason Bourne series of Hollywood. These sites sensationalize the events they report making it like you are watching a war series in the making; at least they are not boring to watch and they stick to facts as things happen more or less. These net sites I find are like hoping and yearning for bigger and larger things to happen that is worth presenting in the news and the images that are often repetitive images from various time span and different takes of ongoing events from various other sources of video footage  are intertwined to present a narrative for the viewing public taste for excitement and sensationalism. In other sites images of war machines from sea, air and on land were kept on being displayed as a background prop as the narrator presents his story, like video presentations by Scott Ritter. It is a waste of time for me to entertain this narrative and so I am letting it drop for now and move on to more up an personal stories of my life. War is officially being declared between the two old adversaries Iran and Israel anyway, so let's just watch on how this play out and how it affects the rest of us. Remember if you are bored watch Gravitas or Times of India {ToI} updates on how the events are progressing and hopefully at the end of the day someone somewhere will say enough is enough and push the button, yelling, Yippee Ka Yea! Mother Fuckers! It is also worth noting for future reflections, the United States Vetoed the acceptance of Palestine as a member of the UN a day ago. World's most powerful nation taking on the world's poorest and abused state? One wonders what they really got against the Palestinian people that they are willing to compromise their national integrity as a democratic and, "Land of the free and Home of the Brave," standing.

Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes and it is never good when the big and strong and powerful takes advantage over the weak and down trodden on any given level of life; today The US is a big bully and Israel is the tool and proxy for this and vice versa. On the personal level one can tell a bully before they open their mouth and when they do it is always confrontational and hurtful in nature. may Allah dissuade one from ever becoming a bully in life. The practice of Loving kindness and Compassion is inherent in all of us and it has been handed down by generations of seers and wisemen oof the ages, in all scriptures and teachings from those living in the forest to those in the cities, however today these teachings are eroded by time and mindsets that are more and more geared towards survival of the fittest and the influences of Greed, hate and Ignorance. I keep reminding myself this over and over just so i do not get trapped into the same groove. I love life and I love people, I love the environment and the universe, but there times and moments when I am yanked from these positive feelings and thrown into the chaos and confusion often driving me to become insane of filled with fear and doubts. When this negative vibes hit me I turn to my Maker, my Lord and Provider for refuge: as a Muslim I turn to the AlMighty Allah {SWT}. To God or Christ and as a Christian, The Source, The Supreme Consciousness and so on. As the fans sing it at the Liverpool soccer games, "You Never Walk Alone," or as said in Islam, "Allah is closer to you than your jugular vein."

  

Dieu et Mon Droit.

Why Did Hamas Do What They Did?

 

So why did Hamas did what they did on Oct. 7th? My take has always been that they did it out of desperation and in order to wake up humanity to the plight of the Palestinian people who for the past 70 odd years have been suffering at the hands of the Zionist Regime of Israel. All these years the people of Palestine have been crying out to deaf ears and each year things was getting worse for them while the rest of the world did not pay much attention to their plight. Hamas knew what they were getting into and were willing to take the risk which is to the present day genocidal retaliation of the Zionist regime under the merciless leadership of the Prime Minister Satan Yahoo. {Yes i have only a disgust for this demon who seek to fulfill his geopolitical agenda at the cost of multitude of human sacrifice.} Satan himself could not have had a better cohort than this murderer of women and children. There I have at last allowed myself to express my feelings about the whole mess in the Middle East. To a man like this God does not exist and thus he has no fear of the retribution in the afterlife if he even believe in such a thing. For many years I have been subscribing to the Palestinian posts on Face Book and am weary of what goes on there from the days of the Intifadah until not too long ago I stopped getting any more news, it was as though I was blocked. A part of me says that it is all meant to be and there is nothing that i can do about it, like it is ordained by the All Mighty, however a part of me refuses to let it go as the injustice I keep witnessing has become so blatant and extremely brutal to accept.

Now Hamas has achieved its intention and at what cost, the Palestinian population has become their own sacrificial lambs on the altar of a demonic cabal that is out to dominate the world even if it means bringing it to an end and perhaps this is the intention. A self fulfilling prophecy of the End of Days and  the coming of the Messiah, yada, yada. As it is Netizens are posting angels in the skies with sounds of trumpets and the Four Horse men riding across the blazing skies! The Evangelist in America are all up in arms crying for war that will end all wars and hail the coming of their Messiah only chances are they are not the ones that are sent to the front lines when the big battle ensues as most are too old to bear arms. Why is humanity so bound and determined to call it quits, why are we so hung up on causing pain and suffering even to ourselves not to mention the rest of sentient beings that inherit this planet? What gives us the right?! Are we so tired of living and yet we keep on producing more babies every chance we get? What kind of legacy do we hope to leave behind for those innocent children we out of our lustful desires have spawned into existence? It is a taboo to mention an illness too often and too loudly without it being an invitation  manifesting into a reality, such is the believe of many older cultures when sanity was still intact but today every yo yo is screaming Armageddon in the Media and on the Internet. It seems like a bad horror movie getting out of hand.

Yes I am getting sucked into the vortex of this Black Hole in the making like most everyone else even if I know and believe that it is all an illusion, that it is all a mindscape a mental delusion that I ma projecting beyond what is as I too am complicit in creating this scenario whereby in contributing to the madness as a witness I am feeding it the energy. The more i project the more real it is becoming, like there is no other options left to rewrite the script and alter the course. Like the rest of my fellow man I too am involve in the making of the show; whr4e is the Buddha when I need Him? Where is Christ when I need Him where is Muhammad, where is Brahman? I heard it said that there is one thing that God cannot do and that is break His promise. As a Muslim, a Christian , a Jew we keep praying for deliverance from this impending disaster of our own making and as promised Hew will fulfill our prayers, would He? Would he stop the killing and the murdering the plundering and the raping? Would he intervene soon enough before we become totally inhuman and act like beasts towards one another worse than the animals? The Gods may have their plans but as a man I have about had it with the feeling that I am being used a  pawn in a chess game of good vs evil both on the personal and the universal or cosmic level. Like Gautama, The Buddha, I too would like to step off this runway train headed for self destruction if it is for no good reason.

For a Jew, a Christian and a Muslim there is the prospect of heaven or hell in the afterlife or when you die, but for a Buddhist heaven and hell are where you are at. For so long as there is an 'I' that exist, there is suffering, no I no suffering. If no I who is there to suffer? However to let go of this I is one big problem that most man cannot attain unless he attains enlightenment like the Buddha did. The Historical Buddha was a man just like you and me, a man who saw the illusory of life as it is being able to fully discern the difference between what is real and what is not. The Buddha penetrated through the veils of Maya and overcame his clinging on to this material realm of conditioned existence or this matrix we assume to be who we are and became fully liberated from the bounds of the I consciousness or as some calls it the Ego consciousness. With this achievement the Buddha ceased as a being and merged back into the Source of Beingness.  NO heaven, NO hell, only God? 

Why did Hamas inadvertently sacrificed the lives of the Children of Palestine? Perhaps because it is more potent than the red cows that the Jews are preparing to offer their God.

WallahuAlam! Only God knows?

The Chess Game of Life.

 

This morning I said farewell to two of my front teeth one of the most painful farewell a man can endure despite the multiple shots of  Procaine or Novocain to deadened the pain. The young Chinese was  nice it touring me while a young Indian lady held my head making sure that i did not eject from the dental chair.. When it all ended after much struggle and jaw busting pain I ended up having to pay RM240 RM200 of which was given to me by my Professor friend who lives on the 4th. floor and fortunately i had RM50 in my wallet to add on to the bill. Now with two teeth less in my mouth I am feeling the wear off pain which comes like a wave through my brain reminding me that letting go is never easy even if it is your teeth.  It was a very kind and thoughtful gesture by the Professor to come up with the money to cover the dental cost and when I asked him why, he said it was a new year gift as it was the Tamil calendar New Year. Earlier in the morning after feeding the pigeons and doing the dishes, I had sat outside as always did and asked the Lord to help me out to make things easier form me in seeing through the day. I had as always asked for forgiveness and wished gratefulness and asked for His Love and Compassion and acceptance of this sinner; I believe he had come through for me as far as taking care of my teeth is concern. After more than half an hour and loads of Procaine injected into my mouth the dentist and his assistant still had problem extracting my bottom tooth I quietly asked my Lord for His intervention and before i could even finish with my 'doa' or prayer the Dentist declared it was over, the stubborn tooth was out. 70 odd years of service grinding and chomping has come to an end for two dedicated members of this ageing body. I make it a habit of thanking my legs and arms and nose and eyes and ears ant the rest of my body for the service rendered for as along as I have lived: weird? Not if you are taught by the Good Book that they will bear witness to every deed you have done in your lifetime on Judgement Day.

Iran has been finally dragged into the Zionist campaign of war and chaos all over the Middle East, the ultimate goal of the Satan Yahoo the Israeli Prime Minister who seek to stay in office through spreading death and destruction wherever and whenever he  could. It seems life has no value whatsoever t this right hand of the Anti-Christ, for this is who i see him as he is. Ignorance is ablaze all over the world leading to hatred and feeding the greed that had been the primal cause of all human conflicts. How mankind has led himself astray from his God given virtues of Love and Compassion towards his fellow man only the Lord and the Devil knows for it is at the end of the day a battle of good and evil we are facing like it or not. We as a member of humanity are all each and everyone of us complicit in the making of our final downfall. Collectively  and through our elected representative we are responsible for every child, every woman and men killed in the name of justice and freedom. We are and never be free from carrying the cross of human indignity and suffering caused by the those who have been able to manipulate and exploit our greed, hate and ignorance to the service of their cause and intentions and that being of world dominance. The United Nations Assembly has become a finger pointing assembly where a whole lot of words are bring uttered with no action taken for or against the perpetrators of the chaos in the making. A whole lot of hot air and nothing concrete but tenuous lame excuses floats here and there out of anger and fear of retaliation form the larger and more dominant nations. The UN has become like a bunch of toothless tigers taking a spineless growl at those who carry out the genocide happening around the world and not only in Gaza. It is high time the UN put its foot down and go to war and screw the Security Council the bedrock or all human failures in the General Assembly of Nations. Like the Lady from South Africa suggested, it is time to send in the Army before the aids.

The Malaysian Government recently announced the arrest of an Israeli Spy along with a good supply of guns and ammunitions in his hotel room and along with him two locals also apprehended, so what gives? Has what the Prime Minister said in his address in Germany made an impact over the situation in Palestine? Is the King also a target so as to create more chaos than just the word Allah printed on socks? The tentacles of sowing chaos and discord all over the world by the Zionist regime must never be underestimated by any opposing country. This regime will go to any extent to spread chaos among nations and their internal security, these masters of clandestine schemes are capable of infiltrating  any national security of a nation as the have the expertise better than any in doing so. Countries with religious frictions or racial strife are easy victims to their clandestine operations. The Devil is indeed in the details when it comes to the diabolical nature in which this regime will go  take in order to draw the world into a chaos never to recover from except through a World War. WhY? Only God and the Devil Knows! Man is just a pawn in the Chess Game of Life, the key players or the masters  are those who truly run the religion and the commerce of the world and they sit on the thrones of Religion and Industries they live in Europe and America headed by the smallest of nations like Israel; their head resides in the Vatican; here good and evil resides under the same roof. 

Jordan Maxwell was one of those great minds whose thoughts over time I had the opportunity to follow and pondered upon, today he makes sense more than ever before especially his views on the powers of Symbols throughout the history of man.

 

Eid Mubarak or hari Raya Puasa Day 1-2.

 The Eid Mubarak or Aidil Fitri came and went just as it has happened for the past seventy five years of my life, however it is no more the same feeling one gets of the joyful and cheerfulness of yesteryears. This year my children and I decided not to have an open house like we did in the past and the only guest I invited were an Indian couple from the 4th. floor of our building, the husband a professor at the University Sains Malaysia,{USM{ and the wife a school teacher. They are one of the sweetest most genuinely warm couple i am happy and fortunate to have met; they are among the keepers as far as friendship goes in my life. We chatted over all that is happening in and around the country and what is going on in the world. What was most interesting was we talked about the  people who lives in our build the predominantly Chinese who we meet day in day out in the elevators. We came to almost the same conclusion as to  the characters like who is communicable and who is not. We talked of the cultural and religious diversities we experience being Hindus and Malays and how the word 'Allah' written on a pair of socks could raise hell and the purpose of burning paper money for the benefit of the dead is an illogical practice. Mostly i talked of myself my past life and experiences for the benefit of my two adult children present. Their visit was the highlight of our celebration of the Eid Fitri bringing to a close the auspicious Month of Ramadan. 

What is on my mind today?

Racism has eventually taken its extreme turn with the revelation made by the President of Russia, Mr. Vladimir Putin, a leader i have had great hope and respect for despite the fact that h was originally a KGB officer whose rose from the rank. The president of Russia exposed the content of 'the oldest vault' in the world to reveal the Black Christ as depicted from very early paintings  authenticated as original works by unknown artists of Christian who is who in the historical Biblical narrative of Christianity. It as has the impact of debunking the present day White 'Charleston Heston', Wilhelm Defoe look of blue eyed and fair skin with long blond hair of the Hollywood Jesus Christ. I had never bought this image for as long as i can remember and as a matter of fact it had always tur me off whenever i see it from understanding Christianity; something just wasn't right! Even the very name Jesus i had a problem with would much rather His true or Aramaic name Yeshua or the Muslim name Isa {alaiiSalam}, 

It is said that the content and not the container that matters and the Judaic. Christian and Islamic religions of 'The Book' has always been riddled with paradoxes and half truths with each religion claiming it is 'The true religion,' and ever since the three religion of the One God has become entrenched in conflict with one another regardless if they are worshipping the same God. The rift between these three religions, in my mind began when the God of Abraham demanded that he made a sacrifice of sone, usually the first born no less, to test Abraham's faith in God. Who would he have chosen by any common sense given the fact Abraham's first wife was a lady who was willing to get rid of her step son born form the union between Abraham and His second wife who happened to be His servant due to the fact that Sarah His first wife was too old to bear any child. However the Lord had added a twist to the scenario by granting Sarah a child despite her age; a miracle. This for me was the beginning of the rift or all the three  Abrahamic religions. The Jews and Christians believe that Abraham chose Isaac for the sacrifice while the Muslim claim He had chosen Ishmail, thus the Biblical Truth was set in question right from the start and has never been resolved till this day to the point where the jews, Christians and Muslims has been at each other's throat to what is going on in the Palestine and Israel conflict. Why did the Lord allow for this to happen/ Your thought is as good as mine and as a Muslim I can only say, WallahuAlam! Only Allah knows the truth and the truth had it been known at the beginning would have set the believers free! All these if one is into the Ibrahimic religion or People of the Book, it is a never ending story of Faith and Belief of controversies and conflicts, of truth and lies that has evolved over the centuries.

The second day of the Eid my son Karim and I attended the gathering of families at a Hotel downtown where my cousins and their children and grandchildren came form all over the country or better know in Malay as 'Balik Kampung' or returning home to be with all the families and friends for a get together. Just as the Christians have their Christmas and Thanks Giving and the Jews their Hanukah celebration; we had a good time. Watching the children running around  happy and cheerful brought my mind to the Children of Gaza and wondering what it must be like for them; Such is! Growing up under oppression is not a good experience for any child regardless of faith or religion and when or how would it end for them only God knows. Faced with hunger and starvation the children of Gaza will forever be a human legacy of our twenty first century and for the history of humanity as a whole. 

    

On this the last day of the Fasting Month of 2024.

 

As all good and bad things, bad script, bad moderation, bad presentation, bad projection, bad directing-  will come to and end  at the end of the day, or End of Days, it is imperative that i cling on to not a thing in this life; clinging on to is another cause of suffering. There is so much doom and gloom stories floating in the rapid lanes and super highways of the Internet coming out of the woodwork making every tragedy a sign of the coming end of life as it is. I am often guilty of this too as it is my minds favorite past time subject matter..  Then there are many who see God and His Son everywhere something out of the ordinary shoots up in the skies, like Angels and white horses flying through the clouds. No doubt if what transpires is a real phenomena witnessed by many, it does warrant a closer look into to make sense out of the empty sky. Thank you for sharing as a man who enjoys unraveling, I appreciate every out of the ordinary events especially if they pertains to religion and culture, I am grateful, it is something for the mind to chew on; like give the dog a bone. It is 5 ;30 am. and I had just made some food for both my sone Karim and I our last Saur having fasted the complete whole Month of Ramadan. What is auspicious about this Month? It is a month long Sesshin in the traditional Zen Buddhist Practice; only it is allot more trying and challenging and billions practice it willingly and most with enthusiasm even those living in the Palestine Gaza Strip. I am not proud of myself complaining how unfortunate i feel in this life or badly I have squandered away my God given rights and talent and being able to sit here writing unloading this garbage of what I deem my life to be, making up stories as I go along claiming to be who I truly am and am beginning to truly believe it as the Truth, I am still lost groping in the dark but am starting to see more clearer the light at the end of the tunnel; as the song goes, "I once was lost, but now I'm found."

I am writing this morning in honor of all my Gurus, Teachers and Mentors who had helped to point the way for me throughout my journey thus far.

The first that comes to mind is my late Eldest Auntie who they called Mak Timah Bidan, the word Bidan means Midwife. She was responsible for bring my Twin Brother and I into this world when she herself had just delivered her own son Zakaria a week earlier. The one thing that I remember most of what had happened during my birth was that she had not expected there to be another one and she had prepared all the materials needed for delivery for only one; I was an unexpected guest to my mother's dismay she told me later in my life; you are an unwanted child and I felt sorry for you. I thought your mother was hemorrhaging until I realized that there was another one in there and you could have drowned in your mother's blood. She was direct in telling me the truth and she spared no pain in telling things as it was, it helped to become more prepared in facing my future having knowledge of my past from the very lady who had delivered me into this world. I loved her more than my own mother to her and to the rest of my family and friends in the village I was a Muslim; I was raised as a Buddhist as far as my Uncle who adopted me at birth was concern.

My Grandfather, I cannot remember his Muslim name after he was converted to Islam marrying my Granmother who was from a district called Deli in Indonesia a cousin to the then Sultan of Medan who was his drinking buddy in those days. My grandfather was a true artist who was a back ground and set designer for a travelling troupe called Bangsawan in the Malay Archipelago. He was initially sent to Malaya to work on the newly built Buddhist Temple, The Mahindrama Buddhist Temple located on Kampar road across from the Penang Methodist Boys School on Air Itam road. It was also the temple I grew up in studying the Buddhist Pali canon under the tutelage of several old time Buddhist Monks from Sri Lanka. I learned much from my Grandfather through being made his lackey like giving him massages and discarding his spittoon can which was often full of blood red spit from his love of chewing beetle nut. My grandfather was Mr. White as he only dressed in white from top to bottom whenever he leaves the house  and he had white hair all over his head and face like the KFC old timer. Till the day he died he was working on Paper Mache models of chickens and roosters, rabbits and elephants; I watched and learned.

I am grateful to my childhood seniors and mentors who  I looked up to one being Rahim Mak Iteh as he was called and the other Yusof Mawa, both were school teachers and both were into studying of religious philosophy and spiritual practices. Sometimes they get carried away get involved in paranormal activities especially in the effort o get good 'Nombor ekok', or the gambling race numbers. Their stories often cracks up everyone the manner in which they went about seeking the spirits' help in predicting the winning numbers. As I have said before it was from these gentlemen that i got the book, "The Master Key," which I took with me to America when I left Malaysia.

I moved to the East Coast state of Terengganu in 1962 where i continued my secondary education after i was returned to my real parents in order that i may be converted to Islam instead of being raised a Buddhist. However the damage was done five years of Buddhism had seeped into my consciousness and the harassment i got for being an infidel while in school in Penang only got much worse in Terengganu. It was through joining the Malay Martial Art school or Gelangang Silat Seni Gayung that helped to reshape my self confidence and I faced my tormentors and bullies with becoming a good fighter and was taken under the wings of a few adult mentors like Pak Abu Johan, who was head of the Religious Department for the State at the time while also held several government positions before such as The district Officer for Kuala Brang,  and Tengku Azmel who was much younger and was the nephew to the First Prime Minister of Malaya, Dato'Ariffin Zakaria was adviser to the Sultan of Terenggnu before he passed away. I was blessed in more than one way being in the presence of these gentle men always catching this and that from their interpersonal conversations; I was sixteen-seventeen. In my past postings I have gone into more details of these gentlemen and the impact they had on my life and so I will not dwell any deeper here even if the devil is in the details.

At the University of Wisconsin in Green Bay I was exposed to many great minds who guided me and helped to explore all the potential i had in me as a an art student and a spiritual seeker as i used to look at myself as in those days. Names such as Mr. William Prevetti, Mr Clarry Nelson Cole, Mr. Michael Kazar, Mr. Elmer  Havens, and Jack Frisch were my professors and friends who took me under their wings with more care than an average student. It was no doubt that i lived a very hedonistic life while i was in college with no regard for my reputation faith or religion. It was the best and the worse times of my life but I survived Green Bay and Wisconsin and moved on to Alaska. 

I did not find much in terms of guidance and words of wisdom from the  commercial fishermen in the Bering sea off Anchorage in Alaska where I lived for two years as most were either locals who were mainly Aleut whose life style does not involve being too friendly with those who came to fish in their waters. I was coached a little by my boss skipper of the Iceland the fishing vessel hat I fished with for just ten days, fishing for Halibut; I was not made to be a fisherman but in my journal one og the crew members wrote that I was a Fisher of Man.

I met many great teachers while living in San Francisco especially being a practice student at the Zen Buddhist Monastery at green Gulch Farm in Marin County, California. I was fortunate to have met the likes of Tich Naht Hanh, Dennis Junpo Kelly, Paul Disco, Edward Brown, Katagiri Roshi, Blanch Hartman and many others at the Center. I am forever indebted to their teachings and friendship. 

Thus on this final day of the Fasting Month of Ramadan i salute them all for having enlightened me despite my incorrigible nature. On looking back i feel much gratefulness for having met and communicated with these individuals; may The AlMighty bless them all.  

 

Happy 50th. Birthday to my son, 'The Naz.'-wherever you are.

 Today is auspicious in more than one way for me as it is my eldest son's 'The Naz's' 50th. birthday a day being observed all over the Western Hemisphere of the total eclipse of the sun and if correctly observed it is also the Buddha's birthday. What more can i ask for to remember this day in my life as the fasting month has come to its end in two days. I must say that the Month of Ramadan this year has been one of the most memorable year and I am grateful to my Lord for having made it an auspicious event that i personally feel spiritually.  My journey is perhaps coming to an end as I feel it in my bones in this physical realm of existence and what a blessed journey it has been filled with the 'Good the bad and the Ugliness of what life has to offer. I feel blessed deep in my heart for having survived all the travails along the path and having transcended all the challenges laid across my path to have this simple realization of being led to freedom from the bounds of the dual thinking mind even if it is just for this moment in space and time for who knows what lies ahead as only the Lord knows what lay in store for the remaining of my days. I only hope and pray that i would not deviate too from the straight and narrow path that has been laid for me.

As a father I am more than proud of my son's accomplishment in his life and career and as a father i am also feel sadden by the fact that we have drifted far apart form each other and this I accept as my karmic consequence for having not being a good father to him in his early childhood life; my bad and I live to regret it for the rest of my life. Nonetheless as a father i still hereby let it be known that my love for my son will never be any less than the first day I beheld his infant face as i held him in my arms and whispered the Shahadah in his ears at the Asunta Hospital in, Petaling Jaya, Kuala Lumpur. It has been fifty years now but the memory is still as fresh as if it was yesterday of how i had to make the trip from Penang to KL to bee with his Mother and him arriving at the hospital late in th evening when no visitors were allowed to the infant ward and i was able to see him from outside the ward until a sympathetic nurse seeing this allowed me in just be with him for a moment. But such is, all water under the bridge and who could have predict what can happen in fifty years. He is fifty now and to me still a mixed up kid and that's ok with me as long as he is happy and not getting into too much trouble; you cannot chop the water in half even if you try. Happy birthday my son and may Allah keep and protect you always. It is all i can leave behind for you, I am sorry if it is not enough; it is my way of saying ,I Love You, Happy Birthday!

    

The Truth - It's in Here not out There..

 

I Heard on a You Tube post that Saudi King had prohibited the use of loud speakers for the Azan or call to prayer and if done so to keep the volume at one third of its loudness   and the post was against this prohibition accusing the King of being anti Islam. I have been having this similar feeling about the use of loud speakers from the mosques in my vicinity and am personally disturbed by the fact that i object to the loudness that  this mosques are emitting to the point of it becoming an irritation. If it is to me how much so it must be for those who are non-Muslims who lives in the neighborhood where i live. The closest mosque to my home is not even considered a mosque by status but a 'Surau' or smaller mosque where Friday Prayers are not allowed to b carried out. This mosque has the volume cranked up to the maximum five times a day and it is not only for the Azan but the whole four 'rakaats' and including the doas which stretches the whole rite to more than 10 or fifteen minutes. I am not a devout Muslim by choice at least not in practice but i am a Muslim by conversion and my faith in Islam grew over time and not from influences by my peers or my parents and as such I see Islam with a little more critical view than most who were born and raised as Muslims. I just listened to the the loudest 'Subuh' or  fajr. prayer being carried out  a few minutes ago  and felt ambivalent about the intention of the Malay Muslims who run the mosque administration, namely the Imam. What is the intention behind  praying out so loud at five on a Sunday morning in a neighborhood of ninety percent non-Muslims? I feel sorry for my non-Muslim neighbors and understand how aggravating it must be for them to put up with this insensitivity. 

 Like it or not this is a multi - Racial country and especially this State of Penang where the population is predominantly more non -Malays. I am not saying that loud speakers should be banned, however if being used it should be used with moderation as not to be too loud and offensive to the rest of the community. It is ironic that this small mosque or surau sits in the midst of the largest Chinese cemetery on the island. Next to politics, religious sensitivity has become a contentious subject in the country and anytime there is a cause to raise an issue the general public will be put on high alert like the use of the Allah letter on socks that is still a hot issue pursued by politicians who has nothing else to use to propagate their status on or when they have run out of subjects to champion in the name of their faith. Often common sense and tolerance is cast to the wind and negative sentiments is stoked till the is civil unrest in the making and the government is put to the task to solve the problem like they have nothing better to do. Insensitivity is the product of ignorance and the only way to overcome this dilemma is through right understanding and this is achieved through right education. Most schools today have little or no classes on religious studies, they have religious schools but not studies on comparative religions or the understanding of other faiths and religions like they used to in my school years in the 50s-60s. What children understand about religion is only that of their own especially those in the rural areas. Most youth today only see the ugly side of the other's faith having been conditioned by their own religious upbringing albeit Malay, Chinese, Hindus, Christians, among others. Without a comparative study of religions being promoted among the younger generation our country future will face a dire situation where religion will become a tool for exploitation by those who are unscrupulous about their political ambitions and this applies to all, not only the Malay Muslims in this country.

For the past 70 odd years i have lived my life grappling with my faith and religious understanding and till this day I still am not one hundred positive of where i stand except that i believe in the One Supreme Power that governs this Universe and as a Muslim I call my Lord, Allah, anyone can Google it and find out what this word really means in Arabic. Others call theirs as God, Elohim, Yahweh, Brahman, Shiva, The Tao, The Great Spirit and so forth and i believe they all aim at the same entity. The divine is in each and every one of us if we only see and feel it and not in what is out there or created by other's interpretation and it is up to us to awaken to this Divinity through genuine understanding of who we truly are and our relationship to our Divine Nature. When we fail to come to an understanding of our true nature we have forfeited our right to frown or judge upon the other's faith or belief. As I keep reminding myself that death is knocking on my door, I am in more Ernest in finding the truth about the nature of life, death and the afterlife. I will not swallow whole what is written in the holy books nor the words spoken by religious minds, but I will investigate and negate what is not the truth and accept what i feel is the true and real in my life. This is what i have learned thus far during the fasting Month of Ramadan. 

WallhuAlam! Only the Lord holds the Truth.      

What have the Fasting Month Revealed thus Far?

 

"I'm Whole, Complete and Perfect, Strong and Powerful, Harmonious and Happy and I can do what I will to do. So help me Lord."

I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness,

I am the master of my Body Speech and Mind,

I am the master of my environment and circumstances, 

I am the master of my own Destiny.

I am that, I am.

I am not the body nor am I the mind,

My body and mind are my tools and vehicle of my self expression, my physical projections,

Hence i care for my body and mind as I would my car making sure all elements are in balance, to optimize how i function in this life.

I take refuge in Allah, Lord of Creation and the One and only. {as I was born a Muslim}. The word God doe not carry water for me as it never existed in the Torah, the Bible or the Quran, it is word when reversed spells Dog. Thus "In Dog we Trust." Words are the first that can be corrupted in the most subtlest form if not used with full Consciousness and Right Understanding. In the Beginning was the 'Word."...

I take refuge in the teachings of Gautama the Historical Buddha when in dealing with life's trials and travails. I take refuge in Jesus as The Messiah and in the Prophet Muhammad as the the Messenger of Allah.

 The rest - WallahuAllam. Only the Lord is Aware.

I affirm these to myself on these days of the Fasting Month Ramadan, Insha'Allah.

Spiritual faith and belief is as sacrosanct to each and every individual as his thumb print, there is none who could lay claim on the faith of others regardless of how diverse it may seem from one's own. It is not for us to criticize or judge over another's faith unless that individual imposes his or her belief and faith over yours. There is only one summit to the Mystic Mountain but there's numerous route to the top as there is only one ocean and numerous rivers that leads to it.

Jivan Mukhta or "Liberated while Living," has to be the goal of every living being on this planet and Self Realization is the spiritual quest that leads to this. Awakening to the Inner being, to the Spiritual consciousness of the True Divine Nature in all of us is our duty towards attaining Self Liberation.

No matter how heavy you may feel your burden is, always know that, 'and this too will pass.' There is nothing permanent in this life and Change is not a bad thing. Impermanence is a cause of suffering.

I have often claimed myself as an Eclectic and as such I pick and choose the best of all possibilities in any given subject. There is no right or wrong in this life only the failure to fully understand what is right or wrong. Right or wrong is a sickness of the mind and ignorance is a cause of suffering.

Is Dajal }Anti Christ} at Work Aready?

 

The greatest escape during the fasting month is taking long naps and the best thing to do is to stay up and do some form of spiritual practice all night long.  The fasting month is the best of times to pursue your mental and spiritual development with a bit more sense of discipline. As the day wore on one feels the hunger getting the best of you and the migraine threatens to split your head, most take a nap to ward off too much strain while killing time, at least for those who are no more employed nine to five. The fasting also heightens your senses and for the women it is cooking as well as for men who likes to cook like me. Going to the wet market and choosing what to make in the evening becomes a chore to look forward to. I have made a few friends who greets me upon arrival at their stalls with warmth than just a casual hi, what would it be today? I like to tease people until the crawl out of their shell and enjoy communicating. Making others feel more human by recognition, like I see you, I feel for you and you are ok by my book no matter what they say about you is my modus operandi and has always been; I like to play the joker/jester that makes others feel their own presence.

I dreamt early this morning the i was at a resort full of westerners enjoying the simple life of local hospitality, a place called Ceranting somewhere along the East Coast. I was had just finished work somewhere and was all covered with slime and grime from head to toe. The state I would be in after a twelve hours shift working on the Oil Rig as a Rough Neck. Every time we had to pull out the hundred feet long pipes from the ground there would be a gush of hot mud from the connecting pipe and it will rain down on us till we were covered head to toe with what was brought out from the bottom of the ocean floor. I was the center of attention needless to say and the foreigners did not know what to do except for one who I had fun laying him on his back. I later found myself entertaining the crowd with a Israeli folk song which I learned as a child from an album by Harry Belafonte, a song called Hava Nageelah, I felt really totally being there singing my heart out. Later i discovered my lat wife was in the crowd and she had my son and was pregnant to my daughter, I assumed. In dreams I find the dear departed never have much to say and keep their distance but i felt her presence and saw her half smile in the distance before she was gone. I felt very happy deep inside. It was like her presence was an approval that i had kept my promise to her when we last bid farewell at the KLIA International Airport where she left for Illinois with my two children to die eventually of Alzheimer's. 

 Reflections on the global stage, is Dajal the AntiChrist present in our midst? Even if he is not, his minions ae already carrying out the fulfillment of the prophecy in setting the stage for a reign of chaos and self destruction as the wars and conflicts being propagated around the globe would tell us otherwise. The latest murder of the foreign aid workers  working for the Central Kitchen is yet another tragic incident that defies our sanity and all the Zionist Regime had to say was 'Oops, wrong target sorry! You see we were too busy trying hard to get Iran into this war by attacking their  Ambassy in Syria!'' This is "Omen part 3" in the making only it is on a reality stage. Even here in Malaysia an Israeli spy has been arrested and religious sentiments are flaring up between the Muslims and the rest of the Malaysian society over the word Allah found printed on socks. Three fire bombing of the store that was responsible in the distribution of these socks have been reported and the politicians are up in arms making themselves heard over the matter while the country is still reeling under economic stress. So what is going on in Tahiti, Sudan, Arminian and a host of other countries broiled in chaos and discord? I believe the Dajal is sewing the seed of human destruction through and most of humanity are still in deep sleep to realize this, the fact that we are being taken for a ride at the expense of our own sanity and future the generations. If you think what the Zionist are doing is bad wait till when they start sending out AI - mindless Bot soldiers into the killing fields. I hope that i will no more be around to witness this when it happens; I doubt that I will see total peace on earth in my time.

11-12 th. Day of Ramadan.

 

The International Court of Justice {ICJ} has demanded a ceasefire on the Palestinian /Israeli conflict and the tough kid on the block is still vent in rampage and murder; the Zionist regime knows no bounds even if it means making the State of Israel a Pariah dog in the neighborhood. Its becoming a cliche that the war in Gaza is an  apartheid if not genocide where the occupation of a non state by one of world's most well armed  country in the world is playing out at the cost of human lives in the thousands and I am writing here just to keep up with the world event unfolding for posterity. To be able for those to come to look back at how humanity has taken a dive into chaos and barbarism the beginning perhaps of the end of this planet of ours. It seems wars are everywhere, on every continent and it seems like the most lucrative business is arms supply. Even the ICJ has no authority to put an end to the state of the nations involved in the act of war and conflicts and the most it can accomplish is to sit and deliberate day in day out. 

This is indeed the Year of the Dragon by the Chinese calendar and it promises goof luck and wealth for everyone, however the 'wood dragon' has thus far been more of a destructive, disruptive in nature than ensuing prosperity and harmony as hoped for. It is more like "Enter the Dragon," a Bruce Lee action movie where more kicking and chopping prevails.  As much as we wish to believe that we are at the peak of being a civilized specie, we have proven to date to be the most destructive and inhumane creatures that walks this planet. nations that pride themselves in the greatness of democracy has cowed down to the practice of hypocrisy and economic hegemony. On the personal level man has become more and self serving if not selfish. Spirituality has been swept under the rug for the better part of our society and religions has become a tool for trade and  manipulations for control over others. It is as though God can be bought and sold and religious tenets are tailored to suit the occasion. Love and Compassion are expressions on the verge of extinction as far as huma consciousness is concern; humanity is becoming unconscious save for the limited few who have strived to stay awake and free from the binds of this modern day era.  

"Those are animals, they have no right to exist. I am not debating the way it will happen but they will be exterminated."   -Yoav Kisch, Isreal Minister of Education - 9-10 -23. 

The 21st century will be known as The Age of Genocide.

The 21st. Century will be known as the age when The Gods Weep for Humanity. 

The 21st. Century will known as The  Dark Age Civilization.

This i declare on this 11-12th. Day of Ramadan.

This Day of 9-10th. of the Fasting Month.

 

It's 8.30am and i am waiting for my daughter to get ready so I can drive her to work which has been one of my routine chore as she has only recently got her license to drive. She and her brother who works in the same office for the same employer starts work at Ten which makes driving a little easier as the traffic is less hectic. What is Karma Yoga? "Karma Yoga is also called Karma Marga, one of the four classical spiritual paths in Hinduism, one based on the Yoga of Action, to a karma Yogi, right action is a form of Prayer. "  Wikipedia. Hence it is imperative that one must have a routine, a series of chores that would keep one occupied mentally, physically and spiritually. The Japanese work ethics is pretty much wrapped around spirituality, from making the famous Katana blades to regular gardening, everything is tuned to perfection or perfect action. To most people these are trivial matters, work is work no two ways about it and nothing to attach to it in so far as spirituality or prayer is concern especially being employed by others and working to a time schedule. For so long as i do my job and punch the clock in and out on time, I am fine.

Trungpa Rinpoche, the flamboyant Tibetan Dharma Master introduced a form of meditation called, Meditation in Action whereby every action taken becomes a form of meditation. The Japanese Samurai warrior practiced this as part of their Code of Bushido 

'The Samurai were an elite caste of warriors in Japan with a military tradition that endured for several centuries. The Samurai first came to prominence during the Kamakura Period (1185-1333) and lasted until their official dissolution in 1879, when Japan began to favor modernization in its military. Apart from combat duties, many Samurai also held important government positions. The values of the Samurai were largely influenced by different strains of Eastern philosophy, such as Buddhism and Confucianism, and were centered upon loyalty, bravery, and tranquility of body and mind. '

According to Japan's most celebrated Samurai, Miyamoto Musashi, "the key to a warrior's success is strategy and discipline, not brute strength or innate talent."

Today most people are engrossed in killing time by being immersed into various 'roadside attractions' such as Tik Tok, Twitterr and Facebook, Netflix and You Tube and a host of other distractions and children are having problems of maintaining attention in schools while the teacher is teaching. The human mind it seems i slowly being infested with decadence at an early age thanks to advanced technology, the same technology that will further erode the human capacity to act and function with perfection with the introduction of Artificial Intelligence. The only form of action that seems to bring the human mind into focus is different forms of violence, which leads to suffering on local as well as global scale. The human mind is it seems being drained of its capability to think and act rationally with integrity and compassion. 

Matthew Hoh former USMC Captain/ State Dept. interview on the Daniel Davis Podcast entitled, United Nations is a Complete Failure, while a Gang of Fools and Mad Men Run Wild. elucidates my sentiment exactly about right actions in work ethics. I saw this video just after my last paragraph entry; Yes the Universe is manifesting my thoughts better than I can. I would fully recommend this interview to anyone who cares about what is transpiring in our global society today. 

     

The 8th. day of the Fasting Month.

 

                               Nothing like having a Sushi lunch at a Malay wedding in Kedah.

So, why have i become obsessed with keeping an ongoing Blog, why has writing become such a Zen practice for me. I write simply because i found something I truly love doing as part my ordinary day to life. Writing helps keeping me from boredom the number one killer. Then it helps me to master an art that I enjoy- reading. I enjoy story telling and so I write my stories, some fantasy some real life, some fiction and most simple truth about who I am. I keep repeating this to myself like a Mantra lest i forget my purpose in life at the moment which is in being her in the moment and being aware that my body aches all over and that there is a fool moon out tonight. Perhaps i am and will never be good at writing but at least I got my fingers dancing on the keyboard all night long if i care to. Why am I obsessed with writing this Blog? Perhaps you should stop reading it, the answer might not be so out there after all, no sir, not far out at all. On the other hand if you are interested enough to share what i write which is mostly about who i am or i think I am, it might be boring in itself. The Blog is mostly about me, the thinker, the one making up stories  to justify this or that in my day to day life. It is form of contemplation in motion, like walking meditation or it helps me keep my thoughts and actions for the day documented, coded, analyzed, scrutinized, dissected and filed away for eternity on the Internet. I can say I left me a legacy; My Life.

                                                 Yes, She's the Boss, I am the lucky one. Insha'Allah?

Memories are what we live by to fill our mind with continuity of thoughts so as not to freak out when the mind goes blank and it happens sometimes especially for those who make it a habit of emptying the mind for whatever reason. However if we have to look back and depend on memories why not let it be of those that are pleasant and positive ones. if you have to dwell upon old time stories try not to entertain horror shows and insane dramas, let these go, bury them or send them across the ocean never to return. If you have to remember the good times and bid farewell to the bad times with genuine feeling of letting bygone be bygone, no guilt, no regrets as shit happens.

On the 8th.day of Ramadan my biggest worry is how to keep the budget going for the rest of the month.

 

The 7th. Day of the Fasting Month - Jeyden Xavier

 

                                            Jaden, The little Maestro going wild with water!

Got a new assignment added to my regular routine and that be twice a week I help my daughter babysit a rug rat who might be autistic in nature. How do you deal with a three year old who does not speak much except repeat whatever you say to him? Anyway it's another added litmus test to my patience in dealing with others especially young children. Allah is the Tester and He is testing me through Jaden whose single Mom works and needed someone to take care of him and so I get to babysit him twice a week.

Jeyden is pretty confident with using colors, especially when it is mine! Seriously, this kid has got issues but underneath it all i can feel a powerhouse of creative energy or destructive force about  ready to be unleashed!. He needs love and care and attention ,the one way to get to him I feel  is through Art. He loves cats but Furby our cat hisses angrily when  Jaden approaches her and so I took to the Malay Fishermen's Jetty one day where cats litter the place like a cat heaven. Thanks to him last week it was the first time i got into the swimming pool downstairs. If there is anything that is stuck in his imagination it is Dinosaurs, like most kids Jaden carries a stuffed T Rex wherever he goes. 

Yes, on this seventh day of the Fasting Month I thought I'd let this kid into my Blog and see how he develops with his handicap. He brings back some memories of raising my own kids when they were his age, how much fun that was, Yikes! A fair warning to all fathers, your kids, they never grow up at least not until they get married and have kids of their own. I notice more and more these day Children are becoming victims of their parents' negligence and the influences of erratic environment they are forced to grow up in. Jeyden was turned away from a preschool entry and the reason being his hyper activeness as an excuse. I suggested that they send him off to the X-Men academy.

I cannot imagine what would become of the surviving children of Gaza when they grow up and may Allah have Mercy and shower His Divine Grace upon them to make their lives bearable as they grow old. 

Insha'Allah! Subhanallah, Walhamdullillah, Hulaillaha'illallah, HuAllahuAkhbar! 

And the Lord said unto the Pharoah, "Let My Children Go!"

Amen!

On this 6th. day of the Fasting Month.

 Hu...Allah! Hu Allah? Hu Allah!...

HoooAllahHooAllah with every intake Hu and out Allah and this is how I meditate on my breathing especially in times of doubts and confusion when my mind takes center stage and I feel like I am drifting, I take a deep breath , Hooo.. and let out a long slow breath Allahhhh. I do seriously practice this ever since it was taught to me by one of my mentors in the past. It helps me to stop drifting, stop tripping, stop 'writing songs that voices never heard.' It blesses me with a moment of Silence, Peace, It causes a shift in my consciousness from drifting to being here in the moment; fully anchored and fully surrendered , presenting my Dharma Position...this Who I am. Insha'Allah by His Will and Grace.

Hu or Huwa {Arabic; meaning "He"} is a personal name for God in Sufism. You can Google this for better understanding. I will leave at that and skip the details.

Sadhguru just had a brain surgery and my prayers goes out for his well being, up in no time, riding motorcycles and climbing Mount Kailash, His book , DEATH =An Inside Story sits on the chair next to  me and every time I glance at the cover he is giving me this i got my eyes on you look! A Brain surgery.  I bet he will have many stories to tell when he is back on stage. Speedy Recovery O Guruji! Namo Shiva Ya! 

The Malaysian Prime Minister DS. Anwar Ibrahim raised the patriotic flag in my heart when I watched the interview he had on German Television on the topic of Palestine. It could not have been laid out any better and thus far it was one of the most sensible and down to earth act of human decency to gamble his position and his country's position at risk in order to raise the flag of defiance against blind ignorance and the treatment of the Palestine in the hands of Israel. Today it is no more the problem of freedom of speech but  not speaking out loud enough. I am complicit in the tragic events unfolding in the Gaza and not to mention the whole of Palestine. I am just as much responsible as the next guy who call himself a human being, a father, a brother, a mother or a sister........

HoooALLah!Hooo and where was I? This sixth day of the fasting month, what's happening in Gaza? Instead of food they should start sending coffins and this I am sure the Israeli government will let through with no problem. I thought humanity had learn something from the Holocaust, apparently not! Have we learned anything from the Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq and countless other wars since? Why are we still taking pissing contest and saber rattling to stoke the flame of war between us like we are suicidal  maniacs who fail to see the ugliness of war even when it is being played right in front of our eyes. on screens large and small all over the world. How can we have become so corrupted in spirit that we can allow a brother commit such atrocities on another and turn a blind eye. When is enough is enough? 

Sadhguru jus had a brain surgery and from the video of it he seems ok and hope so la!

Watched the movie "RoadHouse" with the kids while Buka Puasa, breaking the fast.

                                                        The face that sank many ships

On the 5th. Day of Ramadan.

  For the Love of  Allah{SWT} Aza wa Jalla! Lord of Creations and Infinite Mercy and Compassion and The Lord is Great!

There is no God only Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.

I share these thoughts and experiences on this the 5th.day of Ramadan.

These are my Mantra when I sit and meditate or when I find myself thinking too much or impatient in the traffic while driving, or angry at my children for one reason or another, or worry too much about my toothache and migraine headaches or especially my shortness of breath, yes I hold on yo these thoughts to dispel any negative thought that is causing me into depression, or worse. And if this does not work I would take a nap, in sleep my mind is free to think and create stories all it wants and the end comes when the body has had enough, its time to wake up and face what comes next to the mind; food! What am I going to make for Iftar or the breaking of the fast? The awaken mental state that deals with the day to day affairs comes alive and takes over and the cycle begins again. This is the cause of human suffering, being stuck in ignorance, stagnated by lack of passion to learn to know to realize the true nature of one's own beingness. Absolute Ignorance is Bliss, it is said, however, partial ignorance is a curse of the Gods! I am given a mind to think, to figure out to question and to answer, to deduce and deduct, to know what is and what is not and not other creature on this planet is given this faculty to be elected caretaker of this planet, to proudly claim and become sons of Adam {AIS}; the son of Man.

In dreams anything is possible and in dreams i can be the witness or the actor, the good guy or the bad,  In my childhood days I used to visualize who or what i want to be in my dream just before i fall asleep and in those being a cowboy and riding horses was my big time favorite, I even wrote the script in my mind and there is romance snug in there somewhere and I always love to dream of flying and I flew allot in my dreams, I even remember teaching myself the art of flying like how to off and how to maneuver in the air. One of the most vivid dream of flying I had was I found myself flying over the bay in the San Francisco Bay with the Golden Gate below me on one side and the Alcatraz on the other. I found myself clinging on to a marble pillar larger than the one in the Temple of Zeus and there I was slipping but not quite all the way, after all it was a dream and what was I to do? I just let go and dropped into the misty fog of the Bay and woke up.