Monday, May 30, 2016

My Education.

Educating yourself is essentially feeding your brain through your mind or mental states and it is in this sense that I see my growth through my education as a series of self regulating episodes that accepts and resist, secure and discard whatever  came my way in the form of education. I became very skeptical of what was being fed to me in the name of education albeit in the form of scientific cum technological mode or religious and spiritual mode. I learn a whole lot better through listening to a good tune or watching the rain falling through the leaves in the forest or wading through the  stream the flows pass my legs as my toes sink through the sand. I find a whole lot of truth in nature as a form of education that i cannot relate with in science or mathematics. maybe this is because i have more of an artistic mind than, sensitive to feelings and emotional touch than facts and figures. 
As I have often mentioned throughout my Blogging years and even throughout my Art journal keeping years, my mind is like a sponge that is ever absorbing what transpires around me, in whatever form or shapes, good, bad or ugly; my mind takes it all in and not only does it takes it all in, it digest, comments and pass judgement of this or that, right or wrong and so on. It is like what one of my Zen Teachers used to call in his lecture,a 'Tar baby', only the tar baby in this case is my mind that gets itself attached to, fixated with wrapped up with whatever it comes into contact with. My education has always been in understanding how my mind operates throughout my adult life and in trying to un-educate it from the ideas that were impressed upon itself when I was in school. In other words I am always in the process of liberating my mind from the norms of what is education as according to my school system, professors and school teachers, my spiritual guides and religious Gurus, the books i read and the people I meet everyday who has thoughts and ideas to share. It is not that they are right or wrong, but they are simply the means to find that which is original in me, my own "Buddha Nature'.
In order to catch a glimpse of my true 'Self', I have to let go of all that it is not, all that my mind has accumulated, all that I have experienced and all that i have come to accept to be it as my mind has evolved and comes to a conclusion to be so. I do not trust my mind to be able to come to grasp of who I am any more than I can trust my Gurus and Teachers, not the Philosophers nor the Saints can tell me this is who I am, for the day i find out the truth I know the 'I' in me will be no more. Till then I am only as much as I can make sense of what has been fed to me via my brain, through my mind and my limited capacity to see beyond what is; the veil of ignorance is still impenetrable. 
Educating myself is there an act of giving up, letting go and take on life with a detached or removed attention; what the Hinayana teaching would term as 'bare attention'- towards life/ Easier said than done no doubt but persistence and resilience is part of the educating skills that i have been honing as my tool to achieve this goal, that and with a little bit of faith in my own evolved spiritual awakening. Understanding the workings of my Brain functions, my Mind activities, my spiritual awakenings as they happen simultaneously is something that i have been making as my core 'practice', towards the break through beyond the veil that is hiding me from seeing my own true nature, that which was before i was  conceived by my parents.      

No comments: