Friday, April 22, 2005

Change



When all else fails, when you are down and nothing seems to fit, it is time to change said the Prophet. He called it making a Hijrah or a move a relocation or as we in modern times would have it, it is time to move on. I am about to take my next leap of faith and at my age I am not as confident as I used to be but change has to happen for only by making a drastic change can I skip out of this mud hole that I am bogged in at present.

I am planning to move my whole family back to the United States where I hope it would be easy on my wife in her present condition. Hopefully being among those who speak her language and being with her close friends and her relatives she might suffer less. One of the main causes of her dementia is due to not being able to communicate her feelings as most of our friends here do not speak English, it must be a very lonely feeling for her. I am beginning to feel guilty for bringing her here from Japan where she was happy living and working among the Japanese. But I did not anticipate such a turn in her life here and I guess no one could for that matter as she was happy here before her problem started to materialize.

I have no regrets however, for the past six years we have lived here and enjoyed some good times especially the peaceful environment that the east Coast of the Malay Peninsular had to offer. It has not been a profitable place for me as an artist even though I was able to create some artwork but then this is not a place for artists. My children have grown to discover their father's country and culture and have done quite well in their primary education. All in all it is a good time to weigh anchor and set sail for the new horizon. What lies beyond who knows and what lies in store for us back in the US only God knows but change is inevitable.

No comments: