My Way.

After twenty four years of living abroad my family and I returned to the East Coast of Kuala Terengganu, where my late wife was offered a teaching job at a local college,  Kolej Agama Sultan Zainal Abidin (KUSZA). This was in 1998 where we had arrived from Sendai, Japan ater having spent three years there where both of us were teaching and our two young children were attending preschool. It was in more than one way an ideal life for all of usexcept I was not fitting in too well as i had a hard time time learning the language and my children were dropping their English and adopting Japanese instead. My wife was more on the road all over japan teaching than being at home and i was stuck with the kids whom I was loosing touch with as I had a hard time understanding them. So I decided to move the family back to Malaysia thinking that it would be easier on all of us with my family being there to help us out. It was the biggest error i made and still regret having made it.
I had put my family through hell when I chose to settle down in Terengganu as they were fishes out of water after being relocated in a cultural and religiously hostile environment. It was naive of me to have thought that my family would be accepted with open arms by my siblings, relatives and so called friends. My wife was bullied and exploited by her employers while my children were treated like pariahs at their school. They fell victims to cultural and religious bigotry and I was trapped in between two shores of leaving or hanging in there. I hung in there and despite all the pressures kept my family afloat but the toll was exacted on my wife who fell ill perhaps from too much anxieties and pressures; she succumbed to what was later diagnosed in the United States as Alzheimer's and in her case, rapid dementia. My wife passed away in a small town of Waterloo, Illinois, in a hospice home.
I was not there for her in all her years of suffering from the illness and she was cared by her mother and brother. I was struggling to keep my two children in school here in Malaysia. Initially I had my two children accompanied their mother to the United States as i was not allowed to follow due to the 911 incident where travelling to the US was highly restricted especially from a Muslim country. I had the intention of following them as soon as i could but within a month my mother in law decided that she could not cope with all three of my family and sent my children back to Malaysia. I decided to raise my children in Penang when they returned with the idea that they would not face the same bullying and prejudice as they did in Terengganu. 
Today both my children have grown up into strong and intelligent adults holding good jobs and well respected by their peers. My gamble with life has perhaps paid off in the long run as far as my children are concern. They still carry with the scars and bruises afflicted by the circumstances that life had thrown at them, but they had survived and had their mother been alive today she would have been proud of them. I must admit that i was not and perhaps still am not a good father figure to my children, but i did all i could and then some.  
It was while going through with having to face the pressures of raising two angry kids on my own that i had decided to look deeper into myself and discover who i truly amd and what I am capable of. As an artist i had placed myself among the who is who of the local Penang art scene by having a few solo exhibitions, as a Blogger i have made over 2000 entries over the years and have over half a million hits to my Blog thus far. I am more or less a happier person and am growing old with a little sense of satisfaction that i too have done it my way. my way may not be the best, but it got me here.