A Trip to the dentist is in the books.

 I woke up sometime at 2am with a splitting headache and my mouth full of burning sensation like all my teeth were on fire; such is. So i sat in meditation, stubbornly telling myself nope, no pain killers and what I was experiencing was some uncomfortable sensation due to imbalances in my physical form. Too much heat most likely and the decay that is taking place in my mouth affecting the nerves in my gums; pain, yes lots of pain!! So like a stubborn Zen master i sat and watched with every breath all the sensations moving throughout my body including the left over muscle aches from my rigorous work at the farm. Through slow and deep breathing I allow my body to settle down muscle for muscle nerve for nerve until I came to the most painful part where the excruciating pain was emanating that being my lower jaw area where a solitary tooth stands perhaps rotting away at its root and highly sensitive to the slightest touch by the tongue. Here i kept breathing into the whole area absorbing the pain and becoming familiar with the sensation. It came to a point where i was watching this detached from the pain itself, like I had stood apart from the sensation and simply became an observer, a pleasant feeling actually for the short duration.
When most of the painful sensation had subsided I felt a sense of sadness swept over me and i watched this for a while until it too subsided and i got up and started making this entry. This temporary respite has allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings as i am doing it now while listening to Hans Zimmer's theme music of the "Last Samurai." I have merely laid aside my teeth and most probably my gums aching to make this entry for what? Who knows and who cares. Physical pain is something you cannot share with others, it is reserved fro you and you alone, hence stop complaining and sit and watch it like how you watch your mind. Questions rises, like, what is pain and if the brain controls the body why can't it control pain or the decay that has been taking place for that matter. If, "I am the master of my body. speech and mind," why am I unable to make things right, like reverse the process of decay into rejuvenate or recharge or realign all the elements in this body to find a cure for what ails me. Yes, it is a tall order for a half baked Yogi but after years of having faith and belief in these techniques of meditation and autosuggestion, I would think that I can at least find some comfort in being able to heal myself. No such luck, the pain is still lingering in my jaw although the migraine is gone. 
I have stopped blaming God for my shortcomings a long time ago but I do pray in my heart and mind that by His Grace I am not totally at the mercy of these physical discomforts and that if there is in some small way that He can help me alleviate myself from this state i really would be grateful. It sometimes works but not all the time and i figure perhaps I deserve it or it is meant for yet more awakening on my part for being stubborn and refusing to pray five times a day like all the rest of my fellow good Muslims, or go visit a dentist.