Thursday, September 07, 2017

Just another day passing by.

The whole today has been wasted with little accomplished and not much learned that is worth mentioning, but this too i hope will pass. I have been stuck like this like being between the devil and the seep.On the one hand there si my mind playing out all its best cards on guilt and justifications while on the other there is the practice, the experiment that is telling me that there nothing right or wrong about being in the state of consciousness that i am right now; to accept and to not become attached to the thoughts and feelings that is transpiring, to simply watch with a bare attention. There will days like this and there is nothing right or wrong about not being able to be productive or creative about it, take it just as it is and let it play itself out. 
I can feel my body is going through changes as it is accepting much or less the aging factor of life, aches and pains, tiredness and lack of energy and so forth. With the constant irritation of the itch between my legs, the irregular sleep and the lack of physical activity, it is not surprising that i feel half the man i am. Where the mind is concern, thinking about my present condition and where it is leading me, is a favorite subject matter, the mind loves to dwell on uncertainties as it is a good source of anxieties and depression; yes, we are worry freaks. This is why we try to keep being busy doing something to occupy the mind, mountain climbing, or bungee jumping, getting drunk or stoned is just an excuse to get out of being trapped by the mind into  creating a depressing state of consciousness due to lack of anything better to do.. It is already almost 2am. now after a whole day of watching movies and surfing the internet, I am making this entry as a record as to how I have wasted hours of my time throughout the day.
So had my mother were were to talk to me when i was growing up, she might have said that there will days like this and nothing wrong with it, just accept and let it burn itself out without attachment or rejection. I did started out in the morning wanting to write about the Bhagavad Gita or The Song of God, a conversation carried between Lord Krishna and Arjuna one the eve of the great battle in the Epic story of the Mahabharata. It was an inspiration i got upon waking up this morning as a result of my sitting doing my meditation.I was going to try to understand the principle of selfless action that the Lord Krishna was expounding to Arjuna. After that i was looking forward to going for a swim in the sea with my friend who stood my up on it. Perhaps had i follow through with my intended actions the day would have turned up totally different; I might not be making this entry as it is. Such Is!

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