Saturday, December 09, 2017

If you would rather watch a David carradine movie, I understand.

ITawakkul in Allah Azza wa Jalla! Have faith in the Lord of the Universe. Every Friday the Imam would beseech, and demand that man has faith in the Divine. Surrender and submit to the Divine his will for his Lord's, shall be done, here. on this earth and the hereafter. This act of submission one's personal will to that of a Divine Will is the first act of a Muslim; it nullifies your personal egotistical, preconditioned and corrupted mind lay claim towards becoming above the Law. No deed good or otherwise goes unnoticed as two angels stands both on your left and and on your right keeping your record complete and straight; they do not in anyway interfere or involve in your thoughts and actions, they merely record it all down as it happens, just as they are beside me watching my making this entry. How inconvenient and so much for freedom of expression and the sanctity of privacy. But don't worry the Lord knows this and he makes you forget about your two record keepers overlooking your shoulders. 99.99% of the time you are not in the least aware that you are being constantly monitored for your eve3ry positive and negative actions in this life; 
I must feel very ashame of me two companions who have been with me thus far, I admit I beyond incorrigible and often times my negative actions bordered on insanity and I ask for their forgiveness in the Name of the Merciful and Compassionate All Forgiving Lord of Creation. Let this entry testify my expression in sincerity and with Ikhlas.
To each and every soul male and female, young and old, whose life I had smeared with sinfully or touched in any other way, I bow before you and in the name of my Lord and in the name of His Prophet, I ask your mercy and Forgiveness and let this entry testify and bear witness to this taubah or repentance. n the Buddhist sense, I have some deep rooted karma that needs to be played out or reconciled with before i can be free.
Hence with my palms together and my head bowed i ask to be free from the clinging on to my past negative actions and will do my utmost to remedy my ways with positive and rewarding actions for the benefit of Sentient Being, past present and future. I took the Bodhisattva Vow, a vow to carry out some form of service towards humanity and the universe. It sounds grandiose and bombastic, but it is as close to the truth of my feelings as i can get when writing. Astargfirulah Al GafuruRahim. I have cleaned up my closet and stahed in a safe place all my skeletons, worms and maggots for fermentation and turn into a compost heap, I have acknowledged all that has happened and accepted as my own doing and I carry the baggage I have accumulated before my Lord comes the Day Of Reckoning, but in the meantime I am who I am, the Cheeseburger Buddha, The Night soil carrier and a wannabe artist, will live on waking up from my  ,sleep to face reality. In this i have my faith in the Lord, as of now I answer to Him and Him alone when my time comes, This happens when you age in life, the reflection into the past especially traumatic,or mind blowing events, the worse and the best that could have happened, happened. Knowing there is no way I can turn back time and undo my actions, I still feel I owe it to myself to come clean without the details to clean my slate and recycle my waste. I wish that some great virtues can be grown from my past experiences and these insights be shared for the benefit of others.  
My experiment with life has just risen to the next level where I stop searching and starting being that I am who I am. Being here in this moment entertaining my thoughts I am being in touch with my consciousness, my own plane of existence, in my own inner sanctum having conversations with my self over life and existence as i am beginning to see  and come to understand it as it is. is it? Is this moment in time real or is it too another pigment of my imagination along with all the rest of moments in time? How to step out of this circle? Stop the mind from attachment to thinking about it. Stop adding on to . stop exaggerating and remain detach from all your experiences, let go! Be in the here and Now as much as you can in the course of a day, an hour, a minute,,,a moment in time. That is why i often tell my mind to be quiet for five minutes  Try it, perhaps you will have better luck than me. 

Friday, December 08, 2017


There is a extreme imbalance between the minds of the West and of the East; the West is much towards the material external gains while the East is dwelling deeper into the inner realm of faith and spirituality. Both are the products of the collective mind of the whole human race East and West, strong or weak, rich or poor; it is our common call, we brought it into being, we have been asleep far to long and too deeply that our minds has got the better of us. The west is bound and determined to manipulate the events of the world to fill their pockets and ensure their power; this is the sickness of the mind, this egotistical stance in claiming supremacy over your fellow man at whatever cost or cause. the motive may be. I see this bias towards material or spiritual happening on 'Stats' of my Blog. What i write about makes a difference in the number of readers East and West on which side reads what. 
I am making an effort to understand and sort out my own feelings about the Global phenomenon where a great split is about to occur and fault lines are going to be drawn, and yes we are facing another tribal war, a war that will see no winners, some even feel it is the end of all wars. Details, just be up to date on You Tube if you don't read the news,, the Internet is The Miracle of modern man; use it or abuse it, free choice. I feel we have abused it more so the use it, the again I could be wrong; The Lord still works in mysterious ways. and he must have a bigger sleeve than you and I, who can tell what he will come up with next. As the saying goes, man propose, God  disposes.Man may have been created in His image, but man has yet to come any closer to His presence; we are actually drifting away from our own divinity, that which we were created out of. We have come to accept the fact that we are nothing but cork and screws in this great machine (matrix) we call life.
Religious and spiritual values is all we have left to check our collective sanity level for without, faith and a belief is a higher order, a good majority of mankind would have been sucked into chaos and anarchy allot sooner than is happening now. The Ten Commandments of the Judeo, Christian and Muslim religions is still the paramount universal law to all 'People of the Book." When Moses brought it down from the mountain, he did not bring the law down just for the Jews, it was for all mankind and it should be embraced by all religions as a blue print for universal peace.
Bring all war criminals to the Hague now not when the carnage is over, the damage done. All those who have their hands in all the conflicts that is being orchestrated all over the world should be summoned to the Hague where they should be made to answer for all their rationals of what is happening in their country. It should and aught to be the function of the International Court of Justice to expedite a hearing session between the accused leaders of these trouble nations. Wars and conflicts, will always be a product of the human consciousness and the only means to put and end or at the very least check it in motion is to look into the laws that has been handed down through the ages with regard to the taking of another man's life: "Thou Shalt Not Kill!" The first Law of Moses. 
No doubt today that a life is valued for the price of a bullet and if you are not a soldier than you are a collateral damage, however it all sucks!
The United Nations has established all over the world places of historical values as Heritage Sites and thes includes large cities and ancient sites. What would it take to declare Bethlehem or even jerusalem itself a World heritage Site? This area should be run like the Vatican, policed by a neutral police force. It  would benefit all, Jews Christians and Palestinians alike at least economically and if well run it could help to heal old wounds and bring tribes closer together through a common desire for peace and prosperity. Or are we sick and tired of living in peace, in harmony, in a creative vibrant planet that will be our common heritage that we leave behind us when we go; is this too much to ask? I ask this of myself as much as i ask the rest of humanity. My brothers, my sisters, my children their children, my relatives and friends and theirs, this question I ask of all the Great minds of today, the Scientists at the CERN Project in Switzerland, the Masters and Gurus of both the East and the West, those who are Nobel Laureates and those who carry the lineage of the Buddhas; I ask this question to all of humanity in the name of my Lord, Allah Subhana HuwaTaa'la, Lord of the Worlds. He sent down the Ten Commandments to Moses and today we bear witness what happens when the law is being taken in vain.  
Who or where do we look to for an impeccable leadership  to lead us of this dark matrix that we believe to be our reality. I see only in my self and the self o others like me and you from through this planet would awaken to the need to send a collective message loud enough to shatter the walls of justice today; let us silence our minds and center our selves to align with the whole of humanity in s single consciousness; Not possible, who got the time, who want to make sense out of all these nonsense, life is bad as it is, why bother? Just eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are sleepy, sit and watch the grass grow...These world dramas, don't let it get to you, there is reason for it all for it is written in the Loh Mahfuz, It preordained in the Book of Record according to Islam. Nothing that stirs much less moves escapes the eye of The Truth and my Lord is All knowing and All Wise in His execution of His Will... my lord is a Peace Loving Lord of Creation. However do not tempt His wrath and He can be not nice when he is angry and the only thing that has kept Him from ripping asunder this entire solar system is because there still those who worship Him and put their, Tawakal in Him, the world is still safe for as long as there are farmers and their families, fishermen and theirs, the Imams and monks and priests; for so long we are safe from His wrath.
This afternoon at the Friday Prayer, the Imam ask for a special prayer for the in the wake yet another slap in the face by the Zionist Israel and corporate America when the President acknowledge that Jarusalem will be the capital of the state of Israel. Let us watch how much hot air will come out of the rest of the Muslim World and heaven's forbid let us see how iran reacts. What else can i do bu to watch and make my observation like all good scientific research, I have to be true to what my mind is thinking at the moment, these are how I pass my time putting my mind to task; making sense out of non-sense. 

Talking to myself.

There is not much to understand or learn but there is a whole lot of work to be done if one is to heal the splintered soul. There is much effort put into getting to kno your illnesses and apply the proper healing process from within you. Bring your consciousness into bearing and focus upon a single thought -Heal! I am a unlearning and unfolding back all that I have been made to believe throughout my life; spring cleaning. I am and have been looking deeply at my very being who I have come to be. I am not this body and nor am I this mind, I am who I am call myself what I may and fear of taking on any, I call the observer, the witness, the onlooker of life's super highway. If so much can happen in the span of my life in the world I dread to think of what else is yet to come. On the personal level I have come to accept that my thoughts and the collective mind thinking and projecting into the universe if not calibrated well to create a positive and healing impact, we as a specie will have a steeper mountain to climb.  
It would take a reader to read my entire Blog since 2005 till today with close two thousand entries throughout the date, for anyone to understand this long journey of self discovery and reconciliation of the Spirit, Body and Mind. This Blog is a continuation of my days of keeping a 'Sketchbook Journal' which i began in 1978 while I was in London. These journals and my Blog writings are my Master's Theses, "Experimenting with Life." 'The Ways of the Cheeseburger Buddha." The CBB was inducted into my service when I had a Satori while having my lunch break at a MacDonald's, On the East side of the town of Green Bay Wisconsin, I was wearing uniform of a security guard and eating a Cheeseburger in one hand while reading . The Way of Zen by Alan Watts,in the other,
When the world around you fall silent and you find your self hung in a limbo of time and spacelessness, you hang on to this moment for it is about to change your look at life. The Japanese calls it Satori and I like the sound of the word and its meaning. Sometimes you are sucked into a vacuum and it trips your being itself, it can happen anywhere and anytime by whatever means or circumstances; this is the 'wakeup call', the awakening of intelligence, the little voice within and the revelation it whispers to your heart, to your soul; let the healing begin. Everything that lives and breath will die, nothing is permanent in this life, not body nor mind and that which is making thess observation too will demise in time blown into oblivion for eternity; from atoms back to atoms. 
I do not buy this total annihilation of the soul and of being after death theory, I feel it in me that what lies into the future especially when I am dead will be much much more exciting if not frightening and it will be the final wake up call for you whether you are aware, ready or not; you will have to face who you are according to the 'Whole', and this will decide your next trip, your return to yourself will reveal all there is and all that is not of who are, what you were and what you have become.
Some calls it The Day or Judgement', while others The Day of Reckoning; Who are you? Who do you worship or what is your faith. Do you believe in the existence of angels and demons and the Prophets of the Lord down through the ages of man? This is the preliminary questions asked in the grave according to Islam; this is your transit zone where your identification papers are done to place you in the category you belong to in the scheme of things. Each and every religious faith, the life after death scenario is primarily the same, good begets good and bad begets bad, soas you sow and so shall you reap; you cannot escape the wheels of karma as you travel this path called life. One day you are at the top and the next you fall flat on your face. One day you feel like a liberated spirit, joyful and carefree and the next you find yourself about to jump off Penang Bridge, This life is like riding a roller coaster for those who are on the path towards 'self recovery.' The path of healing is as painful as that which needs to be healed albeit the, Body, Mind or Spirit. To heal the soul a strip of Band Aid is not enough, it takes just as many years to undo what has been done in some cases, the damage cannot be undone but the lessons may be learned. An error will forever remain an error until a solution is discovered.
So, here we are at this moment of space and time dwelling into our thoughts and imaginations as to who or what we are while at the same time wondering what is there in the refrigerator to munch on at this hour of the morning -3;00 am.    



Thursday, December 07, 2017

More random mind unleashed,

The dream i had took place years ago while i was living in San Francisco, California where i had spent ten years of my life and where my two children were born or was it in Green bay, Wisconsin? How thoughts last when you age, suffice to say it was long ago. In the dream i was in India and was marching along with thousands across a field in India. The sound of OM reverberated all through my body and mind like a huge generator coming from within my heart and the hearts of all humanity; I felt the sound of the Universe in my heart and it was awesome! Then we came to a wall of rocks blocking the way. The marchers all turned to the right and marched along the wall with the vibration of their Being. I felt the energy that sustain the universe all around and within me; I felt I was on a holy quest or a pilgrimage like in Makkah. 
The I noticed that the wall had ancient looking cubicles carved out of the rock surface an d as we marched further on I notice the cubicles more recent than the previous. The cubicles started to contain skeletons again as we move onwards the cubicles contained recently deceased 'Monks', Meditators leading finally to just recently deceased, Then I came by a back door of an old courtyard that had cubicles where life monks sit in meditation varying in age as I walk on into the building. By the time I was inside the sound of OM has ceased and I felt it was meant to be. I noticed cells where monks sit and some were relaxing like ni between Meditation and some were even having fun playing cards, giggling like little kids, I realized that i was walking forward in time through an ancient ruin of a Buddhist Monastery and had arrived at the end of the path where it all began. 
Suddenly a side door on my left flung open and i was thrown out into the streets of India, where it was hot and smelly and vibrant with life. It is through my love and cherish for the teachings of Gautama, the Historical Buddha or Awakened one, that i am able to slowly come to accept who I am; I am but a servant of my Lord, call Him what you may, I call Him Allah(SWT). That I had entered Buddhism through the rear entrance and so i enter Islam for the second time as a born again Muslim. A believer in the One True Lord, of Creation and of the Hereafter. I believe that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, the Final and last Prophet in the lineage of Abraham and of Moses and Jesus. However I am more well versed in the Buddha's teachings as for most of my adult life i had made it my vocation to question my Lord, my Creator...I was blaspheming and challenging of His lack of compassion over my trials ans tribulations as i was growing up and mostly it had involved my faith. Instead of asking who or what my Lord is I turn into asking myself, Who am I? 
Perhaps at my age i should have had all the answers by now, I have, on many occasions i have, some call it Satori while others Moksha, I call it my wake up call, minor revelations that jars the mind into a leap of faith in or complete surrender to my Lord. I hand been going over this issue for most of my life I do not have the Atheistic creative genius of Omar Khayyam or the fervor of  Halash, making a claim that cost him his life. No Sir, I am merely making my Blog entry and hopefully by so doing will perhaps one day die a freed servant of man, Insha'Allah. 
And this too will pass...and it is 4;30 am. What the hell am I doing to myself! I should be in bed dreaming of a butterfly dreaming it was me... 'Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them'. The second of the Bodhisattva vow. The first is,"Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them," I hope my Blogging for all its intentions is my way of answering the vow, in some small way my experiences may help to jarr another mind from its sleeping state and awaken him the next level in his karmic existence. I am throwing my own consciousness as they arise out into the universe, "I am casting my lines into the rapids and the greedy is caught, as soon as his mouth is open, his life is lost." Old Chinese sayings from the Blue Cliff Records. Anyone into wanting to understand more profoundly into what Zen or its Chinese , Chan Buddhism is, I advice to look into theses ancient Chinese texts; thanks to Internet.
I have unleashed from my mind a whole load of garbage and i hope it has not splashed around too much and and cause a stink. Which brings to mind of the story of the Night Soil Carrier. In the old days he was the man who came early every morning to empty the 'shit pot' in the out house or toilet. He was the guy who carried on his hip a load of shit or in two large pots slung across his shoulders. He was a very careful man fully conscious of his action as any accident would spell shit all over the neighbor's yard. He was the man who was impervious to sight or smell, and curse of others as they held their breath when he passes by. He was the man who took home all the shit he collected and turned it eventually into fertilizers for his vegetable garden. He was the man whose produce you purchase at the market and he was the man whose children today drives BMWs and live in mansions. Yes, in this country he was a Chinese. 

The Lord of The worlds.

Allahu Akhbar! Indeed The Lord is thy God is Great! I am a Born-again Muslim! I fully submit my will to His, and Thy will shall be done my Lord. There is No God, Only You, Allah subhana hu Wa'Taala! Lord of the Worlds. I submit my soul, m life and death, unto ThyMercy, Ya GhfuruRahim. ...The Forgiver.
When I listen with all attention and awareness, to the Surah; ArRahman; The Beneficent, I had a glimpse of how great my Lord Is.  That when He ask of Mankind and Jinn alike to awaken to all that is within and without of who you are and after all the miracles of life He has manifested and all the comforts and safety He has provided, still you do not believe in Him; The ONe True, Lord of the Worlds. There is a beautiful Video of this Surah as read by one of them most beautiful voices in the Muslim World in reciting the Al-Quran and the near perfect translation of the verses into English Listen and open your heart and mind like God Himself is talking to You! You have nothing to loose and much to gain I sincerely assure you, you men and women of knowledge, seekers of Truth. How i wish I can read the Quran in the original form and grateful I am to those who make it possible for me to become encompassed by it, is sound and meaning: Thanks You Tube!
I leave the details up to you to figure out how to find the right Video I am talking about, I think It is on the same link to this; Surah Yasin. I listened to this Surah and tried to be able to read it through the transliteration while listening to the Reader for many years but still not able to put i to memory; this is the Heart of the Quran, The Essence. Like the Bhagavad Gita to the Mahabharata in Hinduism, like Chairman Mao's ,Red Book to the History of China. If one wishes to sincerely understand Islam and the Teachings of the Prophet of Allah and in doing so clarifies all the misgivings that one is conditioned to believe, with a 'Beginner's Mind', get to know that which scares you, the Truth...the Words of The Lord and Indeed, The Lord is Great!
If you Google the question like, what or where how was the God came into being you will have a little understanding of why i keep writing ,'My Lord' instead of God. briefly most believe it is a derivation of the german word Gott? Again for details google it, that's what it is being loaded into the net for. I am not as comfortable to replace the Word Allah for God and so from now on when I mention ,The Lord, you will know who or what I man, that we are on the same same page on this, no misunderstandings or doubts of my intention. Only the mind of the Seekers will take note of my sharing; as only the wise and the learned usually end up reading this Blog. This is my 'Heart Sura', Wisdom beyond Wisdom, Heart Sutra; Form is Emptiness, Emptiness is Form,,,the same is true of feelings and perceptions, Impulses and Awareness... This the Sutra that has Gone Beyond, Beyond even the concept of the word Beyond..." I am only human and I am living my own life out like I have vowed to...a Bodhisatva, a servant of my Lord, here on earth living out my own karma, my own destiny my own delusions...this is my Way Seeking Mind. 
And Allah said in the Surah. The Beneficent, - ArRahman, for all these that I have put into your head, of life, of History of man, the planet, the Universe itself all accordingly, still you have the audacity to doubt you Maker.All that is mentioned in the verses were conceived some 1400 years ago, when camel riding was the  means of transportation, better known to Muslims as the Age of jahilliah, the age of ignorance. in this Surah, The Lord revealed the whole 'Whole' Universe from from microcosmic to as far as the mind can comprehend,  from the atom to dimensions beyond what is, as a prove of His Presence, His Love and His Compassion of His Covenant between Himself, Man and jinn. Yes, there are good and not so good Jinn as there are in men, just as the are as many policemen to keep the law from being taken advantage of. 
For so long as we can keep doing it, this self-observation by the one writing and the thoughts and ideas being written are not exactly of the same words that are edged in stone. My understanding of the Al-Quran is but as much as a grain of sand in the ocean of wisdom and faith.I will I am converting myself into Islam, I am not trying to influence others much less convert much less convert them. I once had a dream, most vivid dream that ended with the realization that I am entering islam through the back door. 
To be contd....

An Open Letter to the CM of Penang.

Dear Mr. CM , Sir, 
After listening to a small group of fishermen friends at the coffee  shop off  the Lim Chong Eu's Freeway, I was moved to write this letter to our Chief Minister with regard to this matter. 
Briefly, a voucher worth RM400 was offered to all fishermen residents of Penang. The details is easily looked into by the YB, CM office, I did see the coupon along with an IC photo copy ready for processing but is still pending. Again I will not dwell on the details but strongly urge the State Government to look and resolve this issue, if nothing else to save face if not trust for the ruling party. Please act before a good gesture becomes a poor one that turns good intentions into an insult.
Yes , Mr. Chief Minister, with all due respect, as a concerned citizen who sees that both sides of the divide  I am bringing this matter to your attention with no other intention than the fact that it will damage your administrative department if not your party's image. Please make sure  that the incident is looked into from cradle to grave; it is much more sensible not to give than to give half heartedly and with strings attached. 

Yours Truly,
Shamsul Bahari
Ps. It was an honor to have been invited to sit beside him and to have shook your hands At a Deepavali Open House at the "Passions of Kerala" a restaurant at the Nagore Place. 

Sunday, December 03, 2017

Are you still with me on this?

Are you still with me in my exploration of the workings of 'my mind'? If you are i hope it has been worth you while that you have taken the time to browse these entries into my Blog of my personal thoughts and ideas which started off many years ago as an experiment in self discovery, in knowing who i am and how my mind works in relation all that is around and inside me. it is a diary of sor but more so, it is a spiritual quest of sorts and then some and it is a journey towards liberation not unlike the journey of Shakyamuni, the historical Buddha. The Lord Buddha was a prince of the Shakya clan whose father Suddhodana was a great king and his mother's name was Queen Maya in the kingdom of Lumbini. at his birth, the Buddha was prophesied that He would either one day become a great ruler or a great saviour and he became the later after being exposed to the harsh realities of existence. The question that hammered home into His mind was, 'why is life so full of suffering?' 
The way of Shakyamuni has come down through the ages as one of the great religions of man, a way that leads to the salvation of the spirit from the bondage of Life, Death and Rebirth, a vicious circle that man is trapped into through his own insatiable desires and ignorance and living the illusory existence of a sleep walker. The Historical Buddha came into being in the times of spiritual chaos in India where the Brahmin of the period had taken advantage and polluted the ancient vedic teachings to suit their cravings. The appearance of  the Buddha was like that of an agnostic who came to set right the wrong of religious ignorance  and free the masses from the exploitation by the priests caste of the time. The Buddha's way had led to a revolution of the Hindu pantheon of Gods and Deities replacing them with the practice of self realization and ultimate liberation from the cycle of Life, death and rebirth. The Buddha taught man how to stop playing the religious game and awaken to the spiritual realization of the Non attachment to and non dependant upon any other than the self to become free. By the right understanding of the true self nature or Buddha Nature one can shed off this mind and body and become self-less or no self and when there is no self to reckon with, there is none to suffer. In short according to the teachings of the Buddha, for so long as there is a self or an I, there is suffering. 
The question is off course is how do i drop off the 'I'? How do I stop identifying with the 'I'? It is impossible and a foolish idea if one look at it at a casual glance, but the Buddha took more than forty long and tedious years of self scrutiny to arrive at an answer for himself. Upon awakening he was said to have uttered, "I am awakened, and the universe awaken with me!" Hence you and i, if we were to ponder upon this utterances it would mean that we are awakened beings, we are all Buddhas by virtue of Shakyamuni Buddha's awakening some two thousand five hundred years ago, the time of Abraham or was it Moses? The time of lao Tzu and Confucius, Zoroaster and such. So how come we are drifting along on this life's highway like a ship without a rudder, cattle headed for the slaughter house? Are we as a specie regressing in our capacity to implement changes when changes are sorely needed, strive for peace when peace has become a rare commodity and a bargaining chip. What is wrong with this generation of  humanity that we have allowed ourselves to be dragged into so much conflict that has plunged us into the depth of depravity unheard of in our history. 
When the Buddha declared the Universe to have awakened with Him it included us or at least our ancestors some 2500 years ago; it was a Universal miracle. However somewhere, somehow we have deviated and set upon a new course for self destruction rather than self discovery. We have found Gods again and in this we have found too that suffering is  here to stay. The Gods love human pain and suffering as it remind man of the need for a saviour, of hope and of grace and such and the need for a scapegoat to blame it all on when things don't go the right way.The Buddha in his final hours is to have said to his cousin Ananda," O'Ananda, depend not on any other than your self for your own salvation!" 

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
The mind is everything. What you think you become.
The Buddhaa.


And Thy will shall be done....

What is 'free will'?

“You say: I am not free. But I have raised and lowered my arm. Everyone understands that this illogical answer is an irrefutable proof of freedom.” 
― Leo TolstoyWar and Peace

In this life nothing is free, or so it is said; especially not your 'will'. Having a will in itself means imposing it upon others, over something else, and event to happen according to your will. your perception, your impulses or consciousness. This amounts to having control over and when control id involve there is no freedom as the controller can be controlled, as the observer can be observed. Freedom comes with total submission or surrender like 'unto Thy hands O'Lord, I surrender my spirit." it is through this  giving up of the ego nature or the 'Nafs', that creature which governs our thoughts and emotions whenever we are not at home or busy sleep walking through life. It is through becoming completely liberated from our preconceived ideas and imaginations of who we are that we can approach the presence of true free will and act accordingly as, 'Thy will shall be done, O'Lord." 
Hence there is none who practice his 'free will', however everyone has their will to impose upon others, their thoughts and aspirations, their, wisdom and power, making it their birthright to do so. Thus with this misconception of what freedom or free will is we go about our daily life thinking that we are, 'free thinkers', 'freedom fighters', 'Free Masons,' free this and free that while inherently we are slaves to our own conditioned mind creating mental formations to compensate for our lack of understanding of the truth or reality as expounded by the great minds and sages throughout the ages. 
My daily 'affirmations' as part of my personal daily practice of 'auto suggestion' ends with 'I can do what i will to do, so help me God or Insha'Allah," I add this last clause as a reminder to myself that there is a higher or greater mind than mine, call it by what name you will, that i take my leave from. Nothing that has transpired through my mind all these years belongs to me in originality, all that can be said and done has been said and done and i am merely reminding myself that there are such things as the question of what free will is and how it affects my thinking mind. On my route towards absolute self discovery i vow not to overlook or let slip by any question no matter how trivia or obtrusive it may seem, I will lift up every stone and stir every hornet's nest if it means there is an  answer or a piece of the puzzle it has hidden there somewhere. This is my will, and i can do what I will to do, so help me God. 

And one who is just of his own free will shall not lack for happiness; and he will never come to utter ruin.
Read more at:  

"Righteous and crooked, hidden thoughts and deeds of man, joys and sorrows from situations and circumstances. why blame the helpless spheres for your lot, where you do have a will but they do not. To have the power of creativity, so i could replace the sorrows and mortality, I would reconstruct the spheres of free will to fulfill all of man's dreams, surely I would...."  
Robaiyat of Omar Khayam.      

Friday, December 01, 2017

Wake up! Stay Awake!

The difference between the brain and the mind is that the brain is made up of cells primarily and the mind is made up of thoughts mostly. The brain is made up of mindless soldiers and workers while the mind is the general that directs and leads these minions.Who or what directs the mind? Consciousness! Yes, this is basically my simple theory of existence, not bad considering I would be at a lost if asked to defend this theory, but who is asking? In this day and age just about every Tom , Dick and Krishnamurti is claiming these theories or theses, have you found one yet? What is your theory about this whole thing we call life? Do you care or is it just so plain and simple to you that it would simply be a waste of time to even ponder where you originated from. Yes, this is where i am at, wasting away my time, my precious little whatever is left of my active life, figuring out what it is all about in the first place and forget where i am headed for as that is still a blur in my horizon.
In a blink of an eye it is all slipping away, all these years of life so called experiences, memories and hopes and feelings; all fading into oblivion; what have I left behind me that is worth to remember me by? Do I even want to be remembered after all the twists and turns i have taken to get get where i am at, what really is there to be remembered of and who would take the time or make the effort to remember me? Perhaps a handful, those whose life I have touched and responsible for, those whose hopes and feelings i had destroyed or those who i owe money to. I am just , as the saying goes, another brick in the wall. I am slowly walking towards my end of days, so to speak and how or when this final cut will happen i cannot predict but i can feel it inside me as my body is sending out negative vibes and signals that spells decay. The crumbling of the wall is happening from within and I feel like I am well prepared to face the eventuality of what is to come at least not spiritually, or mentally, but I am not giving in or giving up as my experiment with life is still ongoing and fear and pain will be confronted as they arise. It has been and will always be my quest to fully understand my being in this dimension as to its how or why in the first place.
I have lived life and this i can claim in more than one way even if it may not all be well and peachy, I have tasted what most men crave for and endured what most would steer away from. As the saying goes, 'Only fools would dare thread where angels fear to walk,' I have lived like a fool for a good part of my existence and what is worse I have fooled others along with or so I thought. Now I am a mirror sitting here reflecting all that I have trespassed and all that is I have written in the pages of my book of life. I am reflecting, analysing, pondering and wondering what has been and what will become of this entity, the singular consciousness that has existed for the past sixty odd years; what does it all boils down to in the end? 
What is the difference between the brain and the mind? Well the brain does not and cannot even come close to understand all that I have written, but it can put  it all together in its physical form, this entry, via the computer through the fingers and walla! Without the brain and the rest of its activities, the mind cannot come into existence as it does, now. Perhaps it may exist as a consciousness somewhere in another dimension, but here and now the brain is the link that allows the mind to manifest what the mind has to say; the brain is the mind's tool of expression. Can the brain be trained to function as the mind wills? That is the question that most Yogy of old, the Chan masters, the Sufi masters the Native American Shaman and the rest of the truth seekers have been looking into for themselves; how to make each and every single cell in the brain to act collectively in carrying out a single thought to perfection; how to train the brain to heal or even reverse the process of death and decay. Scientists today have been able to make all the dotted lines connected and are on the verge of discovering the final catalyst towards immortality in this physical form, but the human mind is still nor yet ready for the discipline to become Gods. Man is too self serving and still fully governed by Greed, Hate and Ignorance. We are still trapped in this 'dual thinking mind of right and wrong, good and bad scenario and we are still bogged down with the desire to end all desires. We still cling on to the believe in the 'self', that we are separate entities existing like individual cells in the brain. Until we become fully conscious of our collective consciousness we will never find the truth about our potentiality as humans and die still ignorant of what had happened in our allotted time on this plane or dimension. We come and go but never will we be free from this cycle of birth, death and rebirth not until we fully grasp the right understanding of the workings of  our body and mind from the very atoms that makes it all up to the ultimate consciousness that governs the galaxies..Until then we can never claim ourselves as masters of our own destinies, we are slaves to our own self limiting conditioning, to our self imposed fears and guilt that our ego, our personal desire has manufactured for us. 
So! Wake up! Stay Awake! 


Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Sermon on the sofa.

So, what is the most elusive question in life? Who am I, or what am I? Am I this body or this mind? In Buddhism, the question is what is your original Buddha Nature? That which Is before you were, ever. Silly question to most but a lifelong Koan or Mondo for the 'seekers'. The seekers or 'Truth', the student of spirituality, the Way seeking Mind, the adepts, well all those who live life beyond eat, sleep, shit and work and then die. Do not become a McDonald's or KFC chicken in life, become the live chicken at the very least, feathers and all running wild and free around the village like an Ayam kampung, (village chicken) or better yet ayam hutan or wild fowl.
Letting go of the concept of life as being fed to you or injected into your consciousness from the very beginning is never easy and will get harder as you grow old. Letting go of fear itself is the key towards self liberation. The fear of truly meeting who you are on this path towards will hold you in bondage and keep you from being free of delusions. The delusions that has been fed or injected into you by your parents, your education, the society and humanity itself from the day your were born till the day you die. To die in vain is to die without truly being liberated from the very delusion that has been keeping you trapped in this life all along like living in a dream. To be awaken from this dream is to die each and every moment from this life of Maya or delusion, life of the dual thinking mind, life of the material and egotistical tendencies, life of self serving governed by greed, hate and delusion. To be awaken is to remain an observer throughout your lifelong existence and not become what is being observed, to become the creator and not be created, the manifestor not the manifested.
There is Grace within each and every one of us, there is Love and Happiness already inherent in us, look no further than who you are and find it now not tomorrow of the day after. Look for it not out there from somewhere, in here where it originates, where your divine nature resides. Cease from giving yourself excuses and remove doubts and grab a hold of the reality of your own infinite conscious nature, that which is consciousness itself for you are That, which Is and That which has always been, the unchanging, impeccable Buddha Nature, the Atma Brahman, the Holy Spirit, that which is unborn and deathless;Ruhul Kudus. 
May you realize the power of being the master of your own destiny/
Peace be with you.

Friday, November 24, 2017

What is Body and mind but vehicles fort the Path.

The physical body will no doubt feel the creeping effect of aging this is a fact of life that we cannot deny, however we do not get old at the same rate as some will age faster than others. Why? If a runner runs for miles and miles every time he sets out to run it is not the body that gives in first towards giving up, it is the mind. The body will endure for as long as the mind tells it that it is still doing fine and to keep on running but once the mind decides enough is enough, the body will slow down and eventually give up running. hence the same is true with the whole process of aging, the physical body will remain young and healthy for so long as the mind is young and healthy. it does not take an Einstein to figure this out. The human mind is a very complex and in lay man's term very tricky and slippery like an eel, it can turn the worse into the best and vice versa at the drop of a hat. The role consciousness and awareness plays in this factor is crucial as the mind is in need of constant monitoring and it is only under direct and constant scrutiny that the mind can be of benefit to the body's well being.
Talk to your brain cells and demand that it functions accordingly or better yet address the very molecules of atoms that makes up this body and make sure that all is well from the very basic of the building block, that all is in balance and functioning at the maximum output for the well being of the whole. Until you have learned to communicate with the most fundamental structure of your building block you cannot have a good control over the rest of your form and structure. The knowledge on how to go about doing this is available in abundance from all the various teachings of the ancient as well as modern schools and religions and again with the blessing of the Internet it is available almost at your finger tips. Again, 'Ask and ye shall be given', ask the right questions. demand the right answers. If you can spend 99% of your time talking to yourself why not make it worthwhile and beneficial, talk to your brain cells, you blood cells, your vital organs, your bones and muscles, give instructions and let it be known that you are aware and conscious of their workings. When you feel off the alignment like being excessively tired or fatigued, reason out why and see what is not in accordance, to hot or too cold, too much wind or too much of the earth element; the elements that makes up your body is again most basic. Earth, wind fire and water and the life force or energy that generates all these together. If one is out of sync the others will be affected; be aware.
Awareness of the mind and body synchronicity is the basic healing process for the well being of the human form and it is also the building block that helps to regulate and maintain a healthy mind and body prolonging the the sustainability of these vehicles of our existence. Aging takes place when these are not well cared for or negelected a whole lot faster than otherwise. Yes, we cannot stay  forever young and healthy but we can surely make it an effort to make it last longer. Couples with this awareness is the rest of the health  practices that goes with like well balanced diet and exercises and so forth which goes without having to be told. A vehicle left abandoned will naturally end up in a junkyard a whole lot sooner that one that is well looked after. The human from is a gift like none other for as the Buddha is said to have said, "IN this human form is the means for liberation, Don't waste time."   
Have a Good Day! 

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Expand your horizon to learn the truth.

The following morning upon waking up I was free from the pains of the night before, a small miracle? Perhaps but I am thankful for having no more teeth aching or a migraine headache. Perhaps I was too impatient in expecting and immediate cure when I made my last entry, giving up too easy or having no faith my practice of self healing. The following days the pains came and went but not as strong as it was before. I still carry on my meditation and yoga exercises as these have become my routine every morning an it has helped my see myself through the day. Keeping myself busy other than making sure my daughter gets her breakfast and take away meal, I also clean the house, feed the cat, do the laundry and off course browse the Internet for the latest in news. I have yet to garner my energy to paint as it seem like my creative juices have run dry or perhaps I find no more joy in being creative where art is concern, why? Who knows.  
I find it to slowly become a part of decadence process in my aging process as I approach seventy to loose the enthusiasm in doing things that are not having great impact in my life anymore. Art has become stale for me as I find no incentive for it and to motivate myself at a cost financially in terms of getting materials is more of a luxury that i cannot afford. Am I getting lazy in my old age? Perhaps, but hen again if I have the mans and the freedom toI would be out there on the organic farm busting my buns and sweating it out for no financial gain except that it is good for my physical and mental health. I rarely leave the apartment these days as it cot to drive what with the fuel price rising just about every other day and driving in and around the city is no more fun 
especially in having to find a peaking space everywhere you go. So I settle for staying home and get use to becoming a homemaker like I used to do when I was living and raising my children in California and later for three years in Sendai, Japan. There is benefits to this too no doubt as i find the peace and quiet rewarding for my inner journey and my mental upgrading. 
It is not that I do not wish to travel around like i used to anymore, it is just that circumstances is not conducive for me to leave anytime I wish. Furthermore, the world for me is no more fun to go galavanting around especially when you have to run through the gauntlet at the airport every time you arrive in a foreign country. So I will bow out and let the younger generation do their share of travelling and I hope more and more do so. One of the ways they will learn about themselves is to see how others live. it is hoped that they will cultivate in themselves a better understanding and tolerant of what is out there in relation to what is within themselves. To understand the qualities of life one has to inevitably expand one's consciousness about living and by living in a protected, familiar environment of one's home, village and cities alone does not encourage for a broader understanding of what it is like to be rich or poor, to be loving and compassionate, to be caring and understanding of another's life regardless of color or creed.  

Sunday, November 19, 2017

A Trip to the dentist is in the books.

 I woke up sometime at 2am with a splitting headache and my mouth full of burning sensation like all my teeth were on fire; such is. So i sat in meditation, stubbornly telling myself nope, no pain killers and what I was experiencing was some uncomfortable sensation due to imbalances in my physical form. Too much heat most likely and the decay that is taking place in my mouth affecting the nerves in my gums; pain, yes lots of pain!! So like a stubborn Zen master i sat and watched with every breath all the sensations moving throughout my body including the left over muscle aches from my rigorous work at the farm. Through slow and deep breathing I allow my body to settle down muscle for muscle nerve for nerve until I came to the most painful part where the excruciating pain was emanating that being my lower jaw area where a solitary tooth stands perhaps rotting away at its root and highly sensitive to the slightest touch by the tongue. Here i kept breathing into the whole area absorbing the pain and becoming familiar with the sensation. It came to a point where i was watching this detached from the pain itself, like I had stood apart from the sensation and simply became an observer, a pleasant feeling actually for the short duration.
When most of the painful sensation had subsided I felt a sense of sadness swept over me and i watched this for a while until it too subsided and i got up and started making this entry. This temporary respite has allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings as i am doing it now while listening to Hans Zimmer's theme music of the "Last Samurai." I have merely laid aside my teeth and most probably my gums aching to make this entry for what? Who knows and who cares. Physical pain is something you cannot share with others, it is reserved fro you and you alone, hence stop complaining and sit and watch it like how you watch your mind. Questions rises, like, what is pain and if the brain controls the body why can't it control pain or the decay that has been taking place for that matter. If, "I am the master of my body. speech and mind," why am I unable to make things right, like reverse the process of decay into rejuvenate or recharge or realign all the elements in this body to find a cure for what ails me. Yes, it is a tall order for a half baked Yogi but after years of having faith and belief in these techniques of meditation and autosuggestion, I would think that I can at least find some comfort in being able to heal myself. No such luck, the pain is still lingering in my jaw although the migraine is gone. 
I have stopped blaming God for my shortcomings a long time ago but I do pray in my heart and mind that by His Grace I am not totally at the mercy of these physical discomforts and that if there is in some small way that He can help me alleviate myself from this state i really would be grateful. It sometimes works but not all the time and i figure perhaps I deserve it or it is meant for yet more awakening on my part for being stubborn and refusing to pray five times a day like all the rest of my fellow good Muslims, or go visit a dentist. 


Saturday, November 18, 2017

Another Random Rambling....

 When I get the feeling that I am not in touch with reality as it is i sit and i remind myself that;-
I am whole, perfect, strong and powerful,
Loving , Compassionate Harmonious and Happy and
I cna do, what I will to help me Lord.
Yes and this has been my mantra and will always come to mind whenever the mind becomes lazy, in stupor or too lackadaisical . It is a useless effort or so it seems as the mind is much more tricky than it seems and has its own ways and means to defeat every effort to bring it under positive state of consciousness, like being creative or productive. Even my writing this thoughts down time and again is an effort towards reminding myself of this  dilemma, but it is still a reminder of who is the observer and what is being observed. 
" I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness," as the Raja Yoga stated and this too has been my reminder when dealing with my mind, however my thoughts and consciousness have their own rules and ways which often deviates from my practice of affirmation. Again the question arises, who am I? Am I the servant or the master? Am I the observer or the observed? Doubts and uncertainties clouds my power to be in the here and now, I sometimes feel like I have no will power over my own thoughts and predilections. Physically I am in constant ache and pain as my migraine headaches due to the scorching heat of the day and my muscles sore from overworking at the farm last week is not of help to the whole situation. My teeth are sore just about everyone of them but I resist from taking any painkillers as i still believe in self healing and perhaps fear the side effects of taking these pills that numbs my brain temporarily to hide the pain. So i persist on meditation and finding respite in quietude. 
On my last trip to the farm I had brought back a kitten with me for my daughter and she was delighted and called her 'Firby', I called her Furball naturally. As much as i have issues with cats i decided to make it my practice to care for this kitten as a means of cleaning up my 'cats karma.' So i fed her clean after her mess, played with her till she gave up and even attempted to give her a bath. I am learning from this kitten all over again of what it is to love an animal unconditionally just as i love my children. Perhaps the Lord is giving me yet another chance to make up for my cat abusing days and truly understand the nature of Love. Believe me it is not easy as the old negative cat experiences still pops up its head whenever the kitten makes a rash move, or pushes the wrong buttons on my nerves. I had to keep reminding myself of compassion and so forth in dealing with her something that most people seems to have no worry about, or so it seems. 
Yes, sometimes the Bodhisatva vows is thrown out of the window, all but forgotten, one just have to keep on bringing it back into the now consciousness so as life can still be as fresh and meaningful regardless of the negative vibes that threatens to drown all our senses into submission. Giving meaning to existence is the key towards becoming a human being created in the image of the Creator otherwise life is just a fleeting dream that often ends up in a nightmare.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Transforming the old into the new.

These chairs were bought from an second hand store and I was asked to repaint them.

As i happened to have a few cans of spray paint ni the trunk of my car, I simply let loose my creative mind.

These chairs now are transformed into works of Art.

By using a branch of fern leaf from the nearby bushes i allow my mind to create something in relation to the surrounding environment.

The mind is a creative force that can bring forth the time, space and materials to fulfill its intention if and when it chooses to.

The Organic farm is a space where there is more silece than noises, more beauty than chaos and as such it helps to allow for the mind to become more quiet and focused in order to create when asked to do so.

The act of creating itslf is the end process of transferring the thoughts and ideas into physical expression.

\So now somewhere in a make shift canteen at the foothills of a small village called Lintang is a collection of pieces of my creativity that is impermanent just as the middle chair once was.

When work is Play and play becomes work.

She decided to get down and dirty with mud up to her knees, She is doing instead of  marvelling at what others do and she came all the way from Canada to do this.; she is 19. 

They stayed for more than two weeks working and playing in the foothills of Lintang, in Sik, Kedah, a place they only knew from the Internet. They have left not only  their footprints in the mud but they have also planted seedlings that will grow into rice that will feed many in the not too distant future. What money cannot buy is the satisfaction of knowing this at such early age for they are the world's pioneer in Global Connection. 

Never in their dreams would they be working alongside those of their age coming from distant lands, it has affected their lives in no small ways. This will something they will hand down for generations to come in the village they have called home, a village that has become known Globally.

He knew his son's future will be bright if he keeps on fostering this project come what may. It may not earn him much financially but it will guarantee a window of opportunity for his son to know that there is a world out there. if he chooses to venture out himself. No more is his son shy or afraid to be among strangers. 

The men who has set out to make it happen, stepping outside of their boxes and risking everything that they may help to build a better life and society clean from the affects of major corporations and the desecration of the environment. They are determined to go organic, back to the old ways of cultivation of crops and way of life. 

There are many today that has no idea what the earth smells like or feels like, nor do they care to or want to, but one day they will all end up buried in it. Those who live their entire lives in big cities have never seen an earthworm or a leech, nor have they ever heard the call of the howling gibbons very early in the morning; how much of life have they missed out on.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

You are the World-wherever you be...

Lintang Pizza Night.  It was an international dinner special where volunteers from several countries decided to give the locals a treat of pizza and a few other European and Canadian dishes. It was a time to chill after a ahrd days' work out in the rice fields. 

If you cannot make it to the outside world why not bring it to you? On top of having a few lessons learned about organic rice growing you also get to learn a few words of italian and French, Japanese and Algerian  You also get to have a little understanding of the cutltural norms of others and appreciate the differences.

Children will never fail to benefit from any form of cultural exchange, their curiosity is awakened and heir intelligence is developed by being involved in the activities around them. In this days of technological abundance, their mindset is readily expanded by interactions with the foreign adults.

What you normally would not be caught doing in you own backyard, among your own kind you are free to indulge while in another man's. 

Each and every character is exposed to be tested in a neutral environment; when you travel you can be who you choose to be without too much inhibitions. Your character is judged by the performance and acceptance of the events and circumstances that presents itself around you. Help to make it a better world by being your true self.  
 .Sharing and giving is not a commodity but an asset that you carry with you as a gift for those you encounter. You are the World and the world is you. 

Sunday, November 12, 2017

One week on tarm retreat.-SRI LOVELY Organic Farm.

If you build them, they will come. THe farm
 has become an added attraction for the backpackers who likes to visit the wild side of the country. However the internal struggle to keep it afloat is not so promising as many of the local boys up and left mostly due to lack of funds to pay their salary. What  a shame to have worked so hard and be disappointed by not being able to make ends meet. Where is the Government when you need it? This is thefate of most Malay projects, there is always no support from powwers that be and those who offer help expects a heap of gold in return.
I was dog tired after trimming the bamboos  and then the captain asked me if i could help him fix the water supply at the dam where we get our source of drinking water.  So as i dragged my feet following him I got this beautiful shot  where the light was just perfect and the it caught the Captain just as he was disappearing inot the darkness. I have braved myself to accept this mental and physical challenges by volunteering my services whenever I have the time and can afford it as it cost me to get to this place drving for two hours one way from georgetown, Penang. 

I cannot remember what the name of this fruit is but its like a huge apple that you cannot eat.. It is used as a natural insecticide.,  I call it the forbidden fruit. simply because it is nice and juicy to look at but cannot be eaten. Ther are so much in this life that one has yat to see, touch or taste, so get off your bed and set a course to see the world for it wont come to your doorsteps and chance are it wont be there much longer at the rate we are raping our habitat. 

Beware of them leeches! Especially during this wet season, they are all over ready to sneak up your leg and feast on your blood.  They are not big but they sure can leave an itch after they have satisfied themselves.. It is a n ordeal to get rid of them once they cling on to your skin.

 My early morning walks is the best time of  the day when I watch the sun rising behind the trees and the mist floating  over the hills. The sound of gibbons all around me and the  birds  landing into the rice fields. There's not s soul in sight and you have the whole nature to yourself; it is worth the trip. As i suck in the pure oxygen filled air and do my walking meditation execises I feel the earth moves under my feet and the skies smiling down upon me. What more can one ask for in this life other than the fact that it is all there if only we reach out and touch it.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Still trying to make sense out of non-sense.

Not everything has been said and done for so long as the human mind is capable of creating thoughts and ideas, look at You Tube! What do you wish to learn? Yoga? Meditation. Tai Chi, Karate, how to play the Scottish bagpipe? You name it it is out there readily available, All it takes is your personal desire to learn to understand and to experiment, do it long enough you become a master. But if your choice of excitement is watching what others do rather than do it yourself then there is not much can be said. The key is at your finger tips, don't waste a great opportunity of a lifetime, seek and ye shall find...ask and ye shall be given. the scriptures tells us. As one who seeks redemption for past wrongs, I use my time on the computer trying to make sense out of non-sense, see the true path from the roadside attractions; I share my way seeking mind with all those who tread similar path towards self discovery,
I hope to leave behind a legacy that i did not waste this life, living in vain with not thing to show for that would benefit the whole. So in this small way of Blogging I have set out to take a look at life and myself through writing down my thoughts. I have ploughed through this writing process without the benefit of a writing course or a teacher, I developed it over the years by simply writing. I have no preconceived idea of what i was going to write about, it simply happens as soon as i laid down my first sentence. The rest is a matter of patience and dedication towards writing a piece worth writing for those who takes the trouble to read. My total entry in this Bloge has now arrived at almost 2000 entries since 2005, yes, it is a long story trying to learn about who you truly are and it is not over Yet!
"There is a wordless voice, listen to it!"...Rumi.
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"...a Zen Koan.
Be quiet for five minutes! Just five minutes!
Allow the Universe to express itself through you.
You are but a channel through which the sound of the Universe hears itself, just like  the Lord krishna's Flute, let the breath of the Divine makes its sound be heard.
I write to listen to my own mind chattering and turn chattering into a rambling and from rambling into a study of life itself. It is like the dance of the Sufi Dervish or the  Wu li masters, I juggle my thoughts into place in the effort of making sense out of non-sense.    

Friday, October 27, 2017

Penang Art District -Survey for Galleries.

I attended a gathering of the Penang Planning committee for the Penang Art District - Survey fro Galleries also attended by many local artists and gallery owners who has a stake in this project. Met a few good friends and fellow artists, has been more than three years now since i decided to take a step back from the Penang Art Scene. One of them has even become a Dato' and well deserved I might add. The meeting was organized by Y.B> Tony Puah and Mr. Lee Khai, whose invitation I made the effort to attend.
We were handed a questionnaire to be filled with our input on the matter. I am writing this Blog entry in reply to the last question -Additional notes and comments.
Firstly I think it is a very welcome move to create such a facility catered to the Arts; Noble. My gratitude towards both these gentlemen for spearheading this mega task. The Community owes a debt of gratitude to them considering the amount of works it would take for them while doing their own personal vocations.
Secondly, The location is also great except my concern is parking.
Last but not least is my personal feelings about the whole matter from the perspective of a Penang born, Malay artist who has spent over 21 years in the United States and 3 years in Japan as an artist and a parent. I would like to say that i am a member of the Pelukis Melayu PP, but this would b a lie as such and entity has never existed since "I became a member ', This is not right and i hope it is looked into so that a proper measure is taken to reestablish this society. The details i leave it up to you to look into but in a way i am asking foor your help to look into the matter as it concerns what should be a Malay group of Penang Artist to have platform to speak and take action from, just like the Chinese.
What has this to do with the project? Look into the future, down the road, use your imagination. There's a building belonging tp whoever on Hutton Lane sitting like a lonesome cowboy with no action. get this building to become the Malay Art Gallery and club. Give credit to the opposition, make them foot the bill whatever it cost. If you can help to make this happen for the unfortunate and lsot Malaly Artists in Penang; it is a out of moral 'political if not racial conscience, that we need to do this to get the Malays on board; tther simply is no Malay Art Organization known as Pelukis2 Melayu Pulau Pinang.
I realize money talks bulshit walks, however I am an artist and I assume I  think like one, it is my concern that the competitive economic side of Art has become a a drive towards success here; who works sells the most, or whose gallery offers the best service and the lowest rental cost - that is being professional and credible to the trade- this economic force if not checked will not only choke creativity but also rifts between those who can and those who cannot. If we are looking for quality than this needs to be looked into, why? how? to find the balance, the middle route. For the State Govt. this should be turned into a social study; how to attain a high quality society like Japan or Korea or Singapore. The original intention of creating this complex is to serve the community not chase after profits I assume. It is a noble intention from the spiritual and social point of view, if this intention gets railroaded down the road it would only be because of forgetting this intention. No doubt fame and fortune will follow in abundance if the original intention is adhered to.
Art to me is an expression of the human spirit and as such must be kept as pure,; Pure Arts. Art is the creative force that helps to mould the human mind towards being creative rather than destructive and at the same time it helps to decorate and cheer up the rest of the community while going about their daily lives; without artistic expressions a society is dead. The sense of awe and beauty gradually is eroded from the minds of the people. A piece of Art, an Artist or a group of Artists. sitting in a street corner sketching, is healing sight, it is like a subliminal sign that says slowdown, look, see; that the creative spirit is alive. 
Art records history without any bias as far as what the eyes can see, hence the need to preserve art for posterity. In a multi racial country Art through time becomes a catalyst that binds all cultures into a New Collective  Consciousness of mixed expressions in unity. No where in the world is the Malay more Malay, the Chinese more Chinese and the Indians more themselves than in Penang. The need to promote each cultural heritage has become a state pride instead of taking on new forms and identities suitable for a complete whole as a society; I am a Malaysian, my culture is and so is my heart and soul.  Steering the Art community towards creating the new from the old will help raise consciousness of Unity from diversity; the merging of difference. 
There are Creators- Preservers and Destroyers in any given society, each will play his role accordingly; it is our duty to ourselves to become one of the creators. It is the function of the Galleries and Museums to preserve and at the end of the day destruction does not take place, I lost many of my artworks through neglect, manhandling and just lack of respect and even theft in the past and this has been one of the reasons I just simply am not in the mood to be creative. Being a professional and lifelong artist is blessing as well as hell. Artist are among the poorest sods and comes close to being looked at as an unemployed bum; most if not all have their regular jobs to make ends meet. Art materials and other related accessories such as framing and having shows is next to impossible for most.  Art patrons are a rare specie these days as the economic crunch hits all. I consider myself a creator of Art, the galleries and museums the preserver of my works and not destroyers as I have experienced in the past after returning home. 
Then again Katsushika Hokusai died a pauper and look at where his works is today and how much they cost each. It is said that a man creates his best when under pressure but he also is most creative when his needs are met without making him feel needy. A true artist is one who lives life as one no matter the circumstances. He is true to his innate nature  and of being true to himself. He does not pander his self esteem does he advertise his ego; he is a man who look deeper within than most men. To be original is to be able to evoke from deep within whats is expressed without. He is self entertaining as he is able to allow his mind to explore all aspects of what creativity is. Being an artist is an Art in and of itself.