Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Is it a matter of 'Tail wagging the dog?

How to keep yourself motivated after all these years of running around trying to make sense out of non- sense? A great part of me wants to bury itself in a hole and never come out to see day light as it considers itself having had enough of this so called life and yet another part is saying it ain't over yet and it is as a matter of fact just the beginning; so stick around and enjoy the show. I have stuffed my mind with God knows how much reading and learning by watching and experiencing and am still not fully satiated . My mind's capacity to absorb what is being exposed to it from all the trials and tribulations life has to offer is something that cannot be fathomed and yet it is still conjuring up more and more images and perceptions of its own like it is an independent entity from who I am. I see this more and more so as I find myself awake at night from my sleep and sitting in meditation before I fall asleep again. It is like watching the Astro TV channels switching from one channel to the next and sometimes of things that hardly makes any sense at all.
It is almost impossible it seems to switch the TV off like it has a life of its own even when I attempt to disconnect from the source through my breathing techniques or my Zikr or chants; it seems like the remote control has no effect upon the TV set itself. So, I am finding my mind getting more and more busy as the days goes by with no respite. Sometimes I wonder if other's mind are as unmanageable as mine or am I suffering from some kind of mental diarrhea and need to find some sort of laxative to purge whatever is not need from my mental storage bin. I wish it is as simple as deleting items from the computer when they are no more useful. 
To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
Control the mind, how does one control the mind? From the day someone told me of how to go about meditating and controlling my mind I have been struggling to do so to no avail and as a matter of  fact it really gets worse as the more i meditate the more busy the mind gets. Is it? Is the mind really getting busier or am I Just being deluded by my own perception and practice? I have a long time ago came to the conclusion that i can never control my mind, I can bring it to become still or quiet every now and then but i can never fully control my mind. Perhaps i am not as disciplined or strong as i thought i am. Or perhaps i am still not doing it right as it should really be done like the masters had shared from the past. Whatever the reason, i still am discovering more and more for myself of how i am being run by my own mind instead of the other way round. 
Is it a matter of 'tail wagging the dog', 

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