Thursday, December 17, 2015

Getting Old and Cranky?

Where are you at these days Bahari? 
Not exactly where i want to be, but there are times when one has to be in places that is not exactly where one desire simply because there are other circumstances that require one's attention or assistance involving those one cares for; like one's children. Taking care of the matters closer to home that needs attention no matter how small is a must if one is to take care of the world. The world does not need someone who cannot do the laundry or take his daughter to work every now and then to help heal itself. It is in the small things, handling the small stuff and solving the petty matters that makes one to become a world leader. Being a world leader does not need to mean that one is the President or the CEO or the Captain of any enterprise in this case it simply means one leads in one's own capacity. You become a leader when others look up to you with respect, trust and gratitude.
Presidents, Kings, CEOs and such are leaders by virtue of being selected, elected and promoted but not necessarily leaders in the trues sense of the word leader and some may even make for the worse kind of leaders that the world can do without. Natural born leaders are those that arrive in the leadership position by virtue of simply being capable of earning the the respect and trust of his fellow man like the Prophet of Allah or like Jesus or the Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela and those like them. For the lay man, leaders are those whose presence give a sense of comfort and security, who radiates calm and even dignity about themselves. I do not feel like any of these of late and as a matter of fact i feel like my little needy self again, drifting in limbo from here to there with no sense of self confidence. Still looking for something, seeking something, needing something; what, I don't really have a clue anymore!
Perhaps this is how it is meant to be, as you get older the lows out number the highs in one's life as every minute that passes becomes more and more time gone by that will never be redeemed and every time you look in the mirror your facial hairs keeps reminding you of the times that were. It is a bonus to have lived till the age of 66 without any major health hazards incurred, while mentally still able to write, paint and think up nonsensical issues to keep passing the time productively. The eyes are beginning to fade and the body is slowly giving way to aches and pains like never before experienced especially in the shortness of breath with every slight exertion. There is a sense of lack of energy and the will to get up and go to get things done and not to mention the feeling not motivated to do what needs to be done. All said and done, where I am at lately is where I thought I would never be but i am drifting towards what most would call getting old and cranky.

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