Nothing -Not a thing.

Where are you at ,at this moment in time Bahari?! How is the experiment coming along. Still with the nothing doing or not wanting anything to do or being nothing practice? or have we had enough? What have you learned so far? Don't you envy those showing off how they are visiting this five star or that resort for their days off and eating this or that steak at this or that fancy place and sharing it all on Face Book?  Life goes on with or without you participating and is it not better to enjoy participating than to deny what is truly yours by going along with the system, the routine the way that is as profitable like what others are getting for their hours punched in the clock and working at whatever that is there to make a living from? Still insisting that you have had enough of what life has to offer? 
The question is, are you happy? Are you contented? Is this what you have in mind to end your life with. If it is then you have come to a little understanding of what being nothing entails and it is not all peachy, is it? You may be able to isolate yourself from getting involved with the world as crummy as it may seems but the world out there is not going to leave you alone. Not so long as you breath the air like everyone else you are bound by the ties that binds you to others especially your children, your kith and kin, your relatives and friend and those you lay eyes on in the street on a daily basis, the bums and the insane, the greedy and the shrewd,
the hypocrites and the shyster. What has God to do with it all as even as you pray you fully well know that your prayers are not worth the water you wash yourself with and even if God does listen to you what do you think He has to offer you that you deserve? 
Welcome to life, welcome to the drudgery and the tribulations that you call life as your mind keeps reacting to every noise and whispers to every hints of  rejection and judgement to every shortcoming that stands in your way. Welcome to life that has so little to offer in terms of complete peace or comfort without string attached to it to exact an equal payment in terms of sorrow and pins, fears and anxieties.
Life was never created out of fairness, it was created simply so the divine can play with Itself and you being the pawn in the game. Your so called free will is just it, free without any will. Your choices in life is not your own but fabricated by those who had conditioned you since you were born and to step out of this game you are tempted to break from the fold at the risk of your soul being forfeited, or so you think. If you were allowed to express your anger and true feelings of where your mind is at, you might end up being one of those suicide bombers for whatever cause  just so it is a cause to die for, or apply for the mental health room and board, but you are too old to think in those lines of actions, you have missed your boat being a Jihadist or a martyr, you are destined, or so it seems to die a lingering death of old age and and destitute. 
So, Bahari, how far or how near are we from D-Day? How far or how near are you from coming to understand who you truly are? Or is this all has been one long wasted life of not - a - thing, nothing being, accomplished? If it is, it seems too bleak for such a high target set by one who was at one time out to discover his true self. Is this giving up? Is it the end of the journey where the conclusion is even at this very moment is being written? Questions and more questions, unanswered questions and it seems so mundane after all these years. Nothing!