Saturday, August 29, 2015

On the journey to find out..

Arrived Georgetown at about 10 AM. this morning after leaving Kuala Terengganu at around 12 Midnight. I had wanted to leave two days earlier when things seemed to just not happen as far as what i had intended to do there, like having an exhibition and meeting Local Artists over 'teh tarik'. It seems like there is really no interest to make any effort towards bringing the Arts to life on the Duyong Island at least as far as Fine Arts are concern. A whole lot of hot airs you hear on Face Book but nothing really substantial. My intention was t o help make the initial move through motivation and  challenges; it seems the only intention that those involved have is to create a port for chatting and drinking coffee. Anyway it was a lost cause for me. The trip will most probably be my last to the east Coast unless there is some special event to attend to with the family like death, weddings and sickness.
The tenth trip made by the Kancil (mousedeer) my little car over the years and I am proud to say I have enjoyed the journeys driving at night alone most of the time crossing the Central Main range of mountains back and forth which often took eight to ten hours of practically non stop driving except to refuel or eat and ease myself. I know I became one with the little car when I am on the road and thanks to my mechanic friends Ah Huat and Ah Siang who kept it in tip top driving condition I feel I can still take another trip around the country anytime, health considered. A short trip like this does my mind wonders as it faces all the episodes and dramas of everyone you meet and all the circumstances and events that you are exposed to experience. Touching bases with old fiends and making new acquaintances is just a part and parcel of putting your   relationship towards others to practice, and as the saying goes; you win some and you loose some. As you age, you find the process of weeding out who you keep and who you need to let go, an on going process that clears your mind from cluttering of the past. There are those who will remind you of your strength and those who will never forgive your weaknesses, it is part and parcel of relationship in life, just learn to accept and learn from them. And again, you cannot change others but you can change who you are to make the difference.
Every step I walk in my life has been an experiment and I cannot emphasize this enough as my blogging thus far in years will testify. I set out with the idea mooted by Mooji (you Tube) to 'Be Nothing, Do nothing and see what gives and i did and in doing so, so much has happened within more than a week or so. It began on my 66th birthday with my daughter asking what was my pleasure and I told her i thought of making a trip to Terengganu to visit my family and friends there. And so began the effect that was set in motion by that request as my birthday present. My mechanic friends immediately set upon upgrading the Kancil and before i knew it I was on the road by midnight headed for the east Coast. It was a long and peaceful drive accompanied by music from a newly installed radio, a gift from my friend Ah Huat. I did nothing other than just what is required to be done in order for things to move on. Doing or being nothing does not mean you stop going to the toilet. I take it as being more or less in a state the Chinese calls Wu Wei or as explained by Alat Watts an a few others to mean 'inactive action' or 'detached involvement', for lack of better terms. In the practice of Satepathayna Buddhist school there is an expression called " Bare Attention" which simply means to be removed from any clinging on to actions or experiences, perception or impulses, simply just being a detached observer. This i tried to carry with me as i visited places and family and friends and i found it to be quite an enlightening experience.
Expecting nothing, hoping for nothing, letting nothing become an attachment to you, you find yourself to be free from attachments. You road rises to meet you, people look at you with new sense of wonder, like what is going on with him now? Gifts comes from unexpected sources and old axed are grind to settle matters once and for all so that you can move on in life now that the blocks are removed or exposed out in the open for what they truly are. I felt no need to expose or reveal myself any more the exposure and revelations happens like a mirror as I moved from one event to the next, one person to the other, I was the witness to my own being in relationships with others. I find it a whole easier to forgive and forget and not to harbor ill will or discord toward those that treat me with contempt. I find myself shedding my past habit of being trapped by each and word or action that comes by my attention especially if and when it became very critical of who or what i am. It is like water sliding off the leaf of an yam leaf or a lotus bloom.
 For this feeling I am thankful and am happy that i made the trip. It has revealed to me a little more of who I am and how my mind can be made to become receptive to events yet not get sucked into reacting to them and even if it does, it has no power to cause more than just being temporary set aside like a roadside attraction to be soon forgotten. The beauty of this short and insignificant journey is that I did it and was able to touch base with those i love for better or worse.

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