Saturday, July 25, 2015

Adios to my Kancil.

The Kancil, my small mode of transpiration for the past ten odd years is now being replaced by a bigger car although about the same age, a used Ishwara that is a fully automatic as well as heavier car which my friend the Mechanic Ah Huat would be a better car for me to use now that i am getting older.It does have a positive effect on me driving the new 'Old' car and while there is still a few hiccups to be taken care off like the ignition key not being able to function without much wiggling and push and pull to get the car started and the vibration of the engine when it is not moving due to a loose bolt some where...otherwise it drives like a charm. So can safely say farewell to my years of companionship and ride the Kancil. I cannot say enough of how grateful I am to my young friend who has been such a selfless being caring and concerned over my well being since we first met almost six years ago, Ah Huat, as he is known to all his customers and friends is a kind and warm heated man who is full of energy and in the right environment would have made a great Zen master.
Most who see my life as a waste of time and a a disappointment will readily judge em for being in this needy or receiving end; i should have been a rich man like them by now given all the opportunities i have had in my life to make it financially and which i mostly did not take advantage of to better my status. I cannot say that I blame them who includes my two remaining elder brother and a few of my soc called close friends and relatives, however I am not affected by their judgement and criticism as i have always maintained my self to be living a standard of my own which is that i am an experimenter where my life is concern. I could have been independently wealthy had i wanted to in my choice earlier but conscious or unconsciously my life have take many less traveled paths often leading myself into state whereby I am often indebted to others. It might be an arrogant to say that this is how i chose to live my life out of compassion for others, but it is the truth and for so long as i have been observing and studying my life i have come to notice that this to be the route i have chosen for a purpose.
9 times we made it back and forth to Kuala Terengganu., no problem!

Perhaps had i been independently wealthy like my twin brother i might have been in a  better position to be of help to others in dire need, but I am highly doubtful and on looking at how my mirror image lives out his well to do life i can safely say I was never meant to be rich. In my state of having less i am more in touch with those who are in need and be able to receive from those who care and have the need to express their charitable hearts. I found throughout my lifelong experience that those who have less gives more towards those who need than those who have more then their share in wealth. The rich covets their wealth and thus remains rich but those who struggle day to day to make ends meet have a greater sense of connection with their fellow man who goes through the same if not more so distressing state in life. Most rich people will find ways and means to justify why they should not give even in dire situations; they will justify and convince themselves that they are right in being miserly. Most die leaving behind loads of wealth and properties for their children to fight and haggle over and those who do not have children looses their hard earned wealth to the government.
By the time one arrives at the age whereby there is not much that one can truly enjoy in excessive albeit drinking or womanizing, working the fields or visiting countries for the hell of it, it is time to wrap up and say fare thee well to the attachment and the possessions that one has accumulated and so much proud of and what is taken along is uncertainty; heaven or hell, transmigration or complete annihilation. What good have you been where humanity is concern? What great deeds have you left behind that others will talk about you with reverence? How many lives has one affected that has made great differences for the better?
To my friend the Chinese  Auto ir conditioner mechanic these questions are answered in his own ways of doing for others without any care for who they are Malay or Chinese, Indian or any of the others, to him for as long as he has been of help in some small way he was contented that he has done a good job. I have a cousin married to an Englishman with one child and they are doing very well financially, but he is still wrapped up in his Anger and mood swings not knowing what he has and and not appreciating what he is given. Almost daily he is in the Face Book sharing idealistic quotations about life and giving and so forth, but in reality he is buried in so much anger that one can almost feel it oozing out of him. It is by sheer miracle that he happens to marry a Muslim who tolerates and understands his predicament and that he is surrounded by relatives on her side whose ways has influenced him towards being more tolerant of others and less self centered.
Sometimes we forget and we keep on thinking that life is forever, that our time is far from coming to a close and we live as though the world owes us a favor or that we owe it to ourselves to grab as much as we can while we can and the hell with others; i am not my brother's keeper! This is Compassion or the lack of it and we ask why there is so much chaos in this world today.

We have been placxes.

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