Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Saying Thank You.

Being thankful is in order this morning and so I bought five 'Roti Canai' for the crowd below, my way of saying thanks for being able to pray in the normal way again and not having to pee into a bottle in bed due to my lower back pains. The brisk walk to the coffee shop a block down was refreshing afters days of excruciating pains for every twist and turns I made and every step I take. I could even sing a John Lennon while taking my shower without any second thought, must be relieved even subconsciously Also received Rm500 from my friend Rashid at the Malay Art gallery who sold two of my mono prints which originally were priced at RM2500! but considering that they were sitting at the gallery for so long and one was even half eaten by termites and furthermore with me needing to pay for my Kancil, what can one say! Thanks!
I sat for a while this morning before the morning prayer and it felt good however one of the most interesting thing tht came to my notice was the fact how my mind clings on to and dwells upon every negative event or person that i encounter most recently or as an ongoing unresolved issue. The mind highlights the negative aspect of one's energies more so than the positive every time I sit in meditation and I have become so used to this that I thought nothing of it until this morning. This morning i decided No! Enough of these 'downers', I am in a great mood and deserve to be so after having gone through what i had and so it immediately shifted to something else as the silence that followed allowed for me to pay more attention towards how my body was healing itself. I listened to the sound of my breath going in and out steadily and i felt my body shifting as though it was realigning itself from way deep within me starting somewhere at the pit of my tummy. Soon my shoulders were dropping and my neck was back doing its routine of snapping and popping into place freeing energies up my spinal column.
Yes, I look forward towards a progressive healing and alignment of my entire being within and without in the near future and i hope to take my 'self' onto further positive states of being and consciousness now that I have exposed what has been out of place with my physical body. Yesterday's second trip to the 'Bone Setters' was fruitful in the fact that they also helped to put my left arm and shoulder into place and i experience no more pains like i used to where sometimes I could not lift up my arm to hang my cloth. The healing process I realize from my practice happens as a whole, it does not just happen to one part or aspect of your mind or body, it happens as a complete overhaul of the entire mind, body and spirit; this is true healing. From being healed you become more aware of your senses, that of physical such as the ease painless or less painful effort climbing the steps or the agility by which you feel when making any sudden move, to the feeling of humility and  compassion towards those less fortunate and are suffering as you did.
Healing also helps your faith in the higher order, in Allah, God or whatever else that you choose to call, if you are not an atheist. This faith in the power that has been a part of who you are and the source to your sense of power and well being. Alhamdullilah as the Muslim would immediately utter upon hearing that my lower back is healing or praise be unto Him as the Christian would do the same. Even if one is the worse of worshipers when it comes to the ritual performance of the mandatory aspect of worship, being grateful and thankful is in itself is a sign of great faith and to me is one of the most potent of our healing processes.

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”  ∞ Jim Morrison

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