Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Time for the harvest.

It is now time for me to harvest. I am going to go all out to produce works that will sell and at the same time launch me back into the Art Scene here. It has been long enough that i have take a break from doing any serious Art and it has been quite a while since i made great effort in keeping up to date as to the going on of the Art Scene in Georgeown, Penang. So yesterday i started my what would seem to be my next series.of paintings but it is not fully confirmed yet if it is as I am still playing with colors to get warmed up. I need to purchase some new supplies if i am going to get serious and also get a few canvasses mounted.
I am going to allow for things to happen as they will and not plan too much as to what i am intending to do, in other words nothing is planned all will be left to spontaneity and bare impulses- A sudden wish or urge that prompts an unpremeditated act or feeling; an abrupt inclination.
 Yes perhaps i have been taking it too easy or might even say lazy in the past year or so, but i have my reasons and they are pretty much written out in my Blog entries. I try to hide as little as I can from myself or tried to be as honest as it allowable. In this day and age one cannot simply let it all hang out as there are those who are out to get you at the drop of a hat if and when you are found guilty of not going with the flow of their system. I have learned to be weary of my so called friends as my experience has proved my wrong about people no matter how much you think you can lay your trust and friendship upon; the closer you are the more vulnerable you become; there is no assurance. As the Buddha had cautioned," Unto yourself, O Ananda do you depend on for your salvation. Be an island unto yourself trust none other than yourself in your day to day existent." I always thought that this was a little tough an act to follow even if it was said by the Buddha.
I decided to still put to the test these claims by the great teacher of men and insisted that i leave my house and hang out with those i have been hanging out with to get my works done or share my thoughts and ideas with as i understood it J. Krishnamurti once insisted that life is about relationship. my relationship with my so called close friends have now been put on hold and what they think of my decision is to me of no concern as I am still carrying out an experiment with my life. An experiment to discover the truth about both ideas of the Buddha and J. Krishnamurti. I do not in any way blame anyone else but me in how my life has fared out but i know that I am still doing my practice in self discovery and to what form it has taken so far i am still trying to realize but it is needless to say still evolving, changing and by the this fact alone it is good that i can say to myself that my mind is fully occupied and not bored.
I have kept my mind busy with this constant barrage of questions and answers for every detail that transpires throughout a single day that sometimes i felt like i was going insane scrutinizing in detail events and episodes that had happened to me from the moment i rose till i went to be again. I measure every words, thought and deed that had transpired between me and others in the course of the day, was it wrong or was it right, should or should i have not, will it come back to haunt me or will it be blown away? I realized that I need to be able to just observe these vents with bare attention and not let any of it affect me in any way, but easier said than done. The mind is far more sinister than one can imagine and nothing escapes the mind and everything and anything can trigger it into motion or emotion. The hardest part of meditation is to clear the mind of thoughts, to stop thinking. The moment you decide to silence your mind it becomes more reactive and soon you find thoughts popping out of the wood works to keep your mental state at warp drive.
But it is necessary for one to take the bull by the horns if one is to settle the score once and for all on who is the master, mind or you. One of the principles of the Raja Yoga is that, "I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness." At the very least one is to bear this in mind if not learn to take control of it with the consciousness that you are indeed the Master You order the mind what to think and when to think and not the other way round. This again is much easier said than done and it takes forever to be able to come to a degree of silencing the thinking mind, even for those who ran off into the foothills and mountains in retreat from external stimulus or distractions.But try it I must and this is all I have got to live for or worth living for, that is to come to a thoroughly understand who I am and the nature of my mind, how it affects my being who I am.
If that which is all around me is an illusion and i am living a delusional existence just as most of us, than I would like to at the very least know how I can break free from this delusion and attain some form of liberation. At the very least I would like to die knowing that i was most of the time dreaming in my wakeful state and merely existing, occupying space and time till my day is done. What was it all about? Where did it all go? Did I miss something? Painting or doing any form of creative work is one route i found most effective in getting my mind to narrow down and remain in focus at what is at hand. Even doing a simple sketch or drawing can help to occupy my mind and will eventually bring it into a quiet state where original ideas and original thoughts an imaginations can materialize. In order that i come to this conclusion I had decided to set aside Art for over a year and do nothing in particular except survive day to day studying my mind and its habits. Yes the mind is a very powerful tool!
What You think you become,
What you feel you attract.
What you Imagine you create.
 The Buddha.

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