A Hazy, Lazy kind of Feeling

I have been on my lazy do nothing mode for the past few months and i, more than anyone, realize this. Oh, I chose to do the dishes for the restaurant downstairs as a token of having my free meals daily if i choose to eat there but it is also to make sure that i am not totally sucked into this habit of getting lazy and physically giving up from any activity that would incur work and yes i have been doing my morning walks almost daily too to keep my tummy from over growing itself not that it matters much anymore but health wise i am still concern. More than that i have been taking care of the status of my 'Kancil' that needs some work on and which is at present with Ah Huat the Air Conditioning man and Ah Seang the mechanic while i get to drive Ah Huat's car for the time being, it is also a Kancil about as old as mine if not older, but it is nice to drive around with..
This morning i have decided to start some serious work on doing my Japan Journal project which involves at the moment doing some Sumi-e or black ink on rice paper painting, and i am working on the subject of my visit to temple sites in Kyoto, to start off with. So in the effort to do nothing and accomplish nothing i am going to create my best as I can feel it within me that the time has arrived to get it all together while i can still claim myself to be an artist. My blog entry on the 3 years in Sendai is being put on hold simply because I am having computer excess issues at home, but it is all meant to be, there is a 'Hikmah' behind every set back in this life and to accept it as such is much more productive and beneficial than to take it as a block. Taking a view of all that transpires in one's life as a positive means towards better things to come is never easy but it is almost mandatory for the good of the mind. The Universal Spirit for for lack of better name, is ever ready to provide for so long as there is genuine need for the betterment of itself through each and every soul on this planet but as it is non judgemental it also provides for those who strive towards negative desires, however there are consequences to every action that results from these desires and these consequences manifest in this life as well as after. it is not a matter if you belief or not, it is a matter if you are aware of it or not.
Those who are able to give up the hunger for the things/stuff of this life, those who are able to renounce, give up, and detach from this physical realm like in the extreme case of the 'Sadus' or Sunnyasi in India or the Monks in Tibet and the Yogis in the Himalayas, they have understood the Way to Liberation through Detachment, through not being held up by needs and cravings. They some of them have mastered this art to the degree of not having any sense of being left in this realm of existence and thus removed from it influence or as most modern philosophers calls it 'conditioning'. I do not have the audacity to become a Sadhu as it is not conducive to my state in this life but i strive to give up as much of my desires and cravings as i can and in doing this i am observing the interrelationship i have with the external world, people and status, things like what will other think of me and so forth. I am finding it out that in the long run nothing really matters except that you maintain a good health mentally as well as physically while you go on experimenting with your spiritual nature.A little discipline here and there helps and moderation is always a good virtue, to keep judgements to one self or even not having any at all is most conducive towards self actualization.
Thus being lazy and not being is any hurry to accomplish the impossible in this life is not totally a negative inspiration after all, just look at it as a temporary retreat from a retreat. There is the whole concept of retreat, it is not giving up or ignoring or having no will or desire, nor is it having no faith or being ignorant and dull; look at it as a hibernation of the mind. Putting the mind in the garage and letting the mechanic take a closer look at it for fine tuning. Sometimes it takes someone else to nit pick what is the matter with you, locate where or what is your hang ups or short comings or what is it that is holding you up from moving on to your next phase or level. We are conditioned to feel that being busy is healthy for our mind, perhaps there is more truth than otherwise, but often times stepping back and laying low, or even stepping away or folding is as potent towards getting a better glimpse at one's self. The human mind is one very busy chatter box and nothing please it better than to find more and more things to chatter about often getting lost in what it is busy chattering about until there is a breaker like thermostat kicking in or a silence in between two notes in the music score or an intermission in the play. When this happens then the mind finds itself going into a withdrawal often leading to a catatonic state demanding to pick up where it had left off in its incessant chattering. There is no escape unless one is aware of it happening. So, 'Remember to remember, when you remember!.'( Someone once reminded).