Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Mother told me there would be days like these...

A Poor rendition of Joan Miro.
                                                               Juan Miro This is a Catalan name. The first family name is Miró and the second is Ferrà.
Birth name Joan Miró i Ferrà Born (1893-04-20)20 April 1893
Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain
Died 25 December 1983(1983-12-25) (aged 90)
Palma, Majorca, Spain
Spouse Pilar Juncosa Iglesias (1929–1983)
Nationality Spanish
Field Painting, Sculpture, Mural and Ceramics
For those interested in Art I would like to share from time to time some of my favourite Artist of the past. If I am asked to choose one among the many of the Masters whose original works I have seen in the Museums and Galleries in Berlin Chicago, San Francisco, Tokyo, London, Dubai to name a few places I have by the grace of Him I could be there in person: I stood a few inches away staring into the eyes of Vincent Van Gogh from his oil self portrait painting in its original in Chicago, I felt the whole power of the European Creative Mind in its genius form staring back at me; it was like staring into the European Heart and Soul.
Enough about art. my mother"s younger sister passed away and I found this out waking up late as usual on Saturday and I drove my Kancil and me left Georgetown sometime just after eleven. Thank God I still a few hundred left from all the money made and spent in the last few weeks, so I felt comfortable getting there, but it rained sometimes like pour by the buckets with fireworks and thunder and all, so it was a slow driving; just what the doctor ordered because the option is worse for me driving in the scorching hot afternoon. Spent and hour or so looking foot eh house in Rawang and missing the burial. Perhaps it was meant to be that I was there but was not able to see the woman who raised me from birth when I was adopted by my uncle. I was her son till my own family readopted me back into the fold at the age of twelve...that is another long and tedious looking back,k what Eckhart Tolle calls the 'pain bodies'.
She fed me and made sure I went to bed safe and sound beside her and she would scrub my skin with a laundry soap and clothe washing scrubbing brush like they ones they scrub down horses with till there was no more skin left but sheer raw pain especially when you walk out in the burning hot sunshiny day! and this for swimming for hours in the "air passang" or high tide where I spent my childhood days...I loved every minute of it. She was one of the first batch of City Council busses in Georgetown and was ever so humble and one of the most beautiful buss conductress during her time. I will miss her being around as she was the last of the last of C.Paul Mariano's children of which my mother Gayah Binti Talib or Somanawati her original given name, (Its on my birth certificate) was the eldest, then came my uncle Paul Nanda and the last was my auntie Noni as she was known throughout her life. It is with her being gone that i realized my Ceylonese or Sri Lankan lineage has slipped into the past. My auntie was the most devoted of Muslims I have come to live and grew up with. Only she could tell of my struggles in life from the day I was born the younger of the twins till the day she died. I am glad I was able to hold her in my arms for the lastime when I visited her in the hospital and massaged her feet when I visited her at her son's house in Rawang, Selangor.
I am not particularly disappointed if I do not see where or she was buried, I never did see my mother's but only once, after she was buried and i am yet to visit my wife Nancy' resting place in Waterloo, Illinois is it? I was raised and crushed by some of the most awesome women and I am today who I am partly is from learning what I had in dealing with these ladies, my mother, my aunties, my in laws and so on. Women is God's second greatest of His creations next to Life itself. Despite all shortcoming with the opposite sex, I hold women to be indeed beneath whose feet lies heaven. (or Hell).
In the teachings of Tibetan Buddhism and the Principle of the Kalachakra Tantra, All Beings in this universe has at one time or another been our Mother, this is why we treat others as though they were. Man is half complete without his companion and this is one of the causes of so much violence created my men. In the Eastern tradition, it is the lack of balance of the Yin and Yang Nature in our minds that is creating so much discord in our lives. This can happen if all forms of manifestations. In yesterday's Daily papers was the story of a police man shooting and killing his wife and father in law and then turning the gun on himself; he was a fine man according to his brother. What happened? To understand this event and many like it that is plaguing our society is the responsibility of Social and Welfare Agencies and the Institutes of Higher learning's dealing in this issues; this is the state of mind that has met its dead end, despair, no sense of Conscience much less Compassion or Love,; what made for such a tragedy? and we are more concerned with who gets to use the word 'Allah!"
When I arrived finally in Rawang the area was practically flooded already and i spent driving back and forth looking for my nephew's house which I had only visited once before at night. I arrived when it was all over and everyone had gathered back at the house after the burial. Oh Well...Such Is! We spent the night at Bukit Beruntung where Jamie and my auntie actually lives. I was driven there by my cousin's husband and I call him 'Brother Ray". Raymond is from England and a permanent resident through marriage here where he has a son we call JJ. His wife my cousin sister we call Zowie, and they make a great couple, a good balance. Ray drove me to the house together with JJ. At the Toll Station ray took the highway South towards Kuala Lumpur instead of going North towards Penang where our destination was only five kilometer iin the next exit. We made a U turn five to ten minutes down the road and had to pay for a few Tolls to get there finally which pissed the Brother more than his English Gentlmanliness refused to let show. Then after unloading the car and settling down for the Manchester United Vs Crystal..something plays, ( I am no Soccer fan) Brother Ray realized that he had misplace his wallet. The fact that Manchester won by two goals had no positive effect on the brother's mood for the rest of the evening and till the next day where police report was made and so much self mortification had taken place i am sure with the Brother whose luck in business has been short of a disaster of late. The wallet was later discovered at the very bottom of my bag which was in the car and into which the Brother had mistakenly stuck his wallet while emptying his car...long story.
I have grave concerns for Brother Ray and i hope his future can change for the brighter of he will have to come to certain terms with himself as to how to accept his 'pain bodies' and move on... the days of Mad dogs and English men are gone today it is being in tune with being here in this moment in time and the acceptance who our own self created reality; I can only say as the eldest in the family that more than ever Ray needs Zowie in order to heal his own pain bodies for reasons only Ray would know. It is best i say it now rather than after the damage is done... seek help if need be for JJ's sake.
Then there is this long time feud, an animosity between Zowie and her younger brother Sham which till this day no one other then themselves knows what which deprives both their children the love and respect from each. Which have other siblings and relatives sad and concerned. Well they will have to come together and iron it out much sooner than later or die sinners in the Lord's eyes; the Breaking or cause to the breaking off 'Silaturahim' is a major sin in Islam, correct me if I am wrong please. I have benn forewarned time and again that Islam is uncompromising as religion when it comes to cardinal sins. READ!~
While Brother Ray was watching the MU vs. Crystal game loud on TV I laid down on my auntie's bed in her small room I sat instead, I am Who I am! My strength and weaknesses my wisdom and follies, my humour and sorrows, I am all of that and more, was all I felt while being in the prescience of my "Mother". Help to heal those who need help Be as you are; was all that I felt like she was telling me. I felt free from constraints and then there was a knock on the door, softly than getting louder and almost desperately loud! I go to see who it was and Brother Ray was obliviously lost in the soccer field some where in England hardly even noticing my going to open the door...relatives! Being here in the moment, in Time and in Space, Being in alignment with what is transpiring within the range and scope of our attention and consciousness is good practice otherwise we unconsciously find our escapes from reality.
The Buddha calls it Right Effort in the line of the Eightfold path practices.
What is Right Effort?
I bid my Mother and Auntie known as MaCik Noni binti Talib a beutiful journey back home as she belongs among the Loved Ones, the Light of Allah! May the Lord take her into His Comfort and Mercy and place her among the familiar faces of her mother and father to welcome her in spirit. I ask my Lord to shower upon her all the feelings of Happiness and Gratitude for having arrived safely upon the other shore without any intervention save that of the Holy Prophet of Allah.
Before I END THIS LONG AND TEDIOUSLY DETAILED RAMBLING, I would like to mention my utter love and respect for my sister Jamie, the pillar of hope and determination, (Big Pillar!). Words do injustice towards how one feels about someone who has triumphed over all odds and delivered a service to her mother for as long as she had remembered. Jamie is the eldest of the three sisters, the next is called Mama by everyone and the next is Zowie then comes Sham; Jamie held them together by acceptance of her role to be the caregiver to her mother. She has me awe and respect and this is not her only accomplishment, she is going to be one of the Judges for a major 'Toastmaster's Event in the City. How can one not respect a lady who ohhwelll... you know Big! Like BIG Big! dare to stand before some hoidy toidy crowd of Toastmasters ...when you look at Jamie, you goo Huh! Huh! Nah! Really?! Why Not? Why Off course! It is Being Jamie! If Opra can do it, why not Jamie! While driving into KL for dinner at Kampung Baru  HR Steak House in her Kancil!, Jamie asked me a 'personal question', What Is Zen?  








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