After a month in Dubai.

It is exactly a month now since I left Penang and yesterday my son, his mom and i went to get some shopping done as they were getting set to leave for the Antarctica and they left very early this morning. I enjoyed very much being with just the three of us for a few days although naz's mom and I are no more married; it gave a chance to feel what it was like to again be under the same roof after all these years. Faye and I had always maintain a close if not respectful relationship not just for my son's sake but simply because we had this mutual feeling ever since we met in Malaysia some 38? years ago. I felt her strength in character and and she was instrumental in getting my feet off the ground when I was 25 and running around like a chicken without a head in Penang. Today I know I made the right choice despite all the ups and downs we went through together; we have a son who is to be proud of more than most parents can expect.
In the past few weeks I have had some of the most expensive dinners and entertainments thanks to my son's no hold barred when it comes to spending money. And thanks too to his pilot buddies I have had the opportunity to be at places where very few can afford or would have the opportunity to unless they have the means and more importantly connections. I often felt out of sorts during these moment when I in my younger days would have felt at home; perhaps my age is telling again to slow down and let go lest I forget or grow attached too much to the 'good life'. But hey! I would Rather laugh and enjoy at what life has to offer me right at this moment than to sit and ponder too much on what is in store for me when I return to my poverty state in Penang. Often wondering where my next meal was going to come from or how to get a few gallons of gas into my fuel tank so I can drive to USM and waste my time on blogging and what ever else there is left for me to do.
Such Is!
I completed six large paintings since my arrival here and two are being framed for Christmas gifts, I would have loaded their pictures here had I mastered the process on this computer and even though my son had hammered into my head time and again how to go about to do it I am still groping in the dark. I think my mind is also slowing down not so much out of ignorance but simply not having the passion or will power like I used to. I have not blogged for a while not too just to step back from it and let things happen; perhaps this too is an indication of letting go, not giving up, but the feeling of enough is enough. The beauty in blogging like the beauty in keeping an ongoing art journal in the past is becoming just another escape from reality? Hee! What is 'Reality'? Don't get me started on that!
One of the great feeling of being here is the fact that it is just the opposite of being in Sungai Pinang, living on the most busiest junction and in a house that is also a restaurant cum catering business; You only find a few hours of sanity every 24 hours and that is in the dead of the night or the wee early hours of the morning. Here it is quiet almost throughout the day and night with hardly a car passing by or a dog barking. So I find myself meditating a whole lot more than I normally could while in Penang. I also find sources of related studies such as Yoga and Healing information's coming my way like they are drawn to me by some invisible magnet; books, you tubes, conversations on related subjects. It is like there is a source that is demanding me to take my step further into what I have already learned and accumulated through the experiences in my life.
From the review of the book I am presently reading called, A User's Guide to the Brain by John Ratey.

 "I found the chapter on memory to be the most fascinating. It's pretty common knowledge that our memories are malleable and that what we think we remember is not as concrete as we would like to believe. We learn why many "abuse and satanic cult" memories turn out to be false and how they are formed in the first place. It is also absorbing to think that the only reason the "I Am" is possible is because we can remember that "We Were." Our memories are not merely tokens of the past but powerful forces behind what we believe. This is reflected in the oral traditions of many tribal societies. "One Seneca Indian elder tells the story of 'the remembering,' the moral of which is that people who spiritually incorporate the stories of the past become greatly gifted, while people who disdain the past are doomed to repeat its mistakes."

                                               

Shelly Marshall, B.S., CSAC is an Adolescent Chemical Dependency Specialist

and Researcher. You can visit her site at http://www.day-by-day.org

 

My younger days growing up along the East Coast State of Terengganu.